Abandoned Innocence

Chapter 2: Walk Away

If we could just reset
and live in happiness
Instead of our regrets
we set a mile away.

Walk away from everything
walk away from everything

"Oh, where can he be?" Hermione nervously chewed on her bottom lip while twirling a strand of hair around her finger. She had asked that same question so many times that Ron had lost count and he no longer bothered to reassure her since his own hope was fading away fast. There was no question to about 'whom' Hermione was asking.

There never had been so many people present on platform 9 ¾ before, all waiting for the arrival of one Harry Potter. No one had heard from him since the day he disappeared. Of course people 'claimed' that they had seen him at places but no one could be sure, as there was no form of his magic signature to be found anywhere especially since it seemed he didn't use his wand much.

The moment Hermione had read the news in the Daily Prophet about Harry being on the run, she had started packing and with a quick note on the refrigerator for her parents, she quickly Flooed over to the Burrow. She had had no time to inform them of her arrival, so when she arrived the family was conversing in urgent low tones despite the fact that they were in their own house.

Ron had tried again and again to send letters to him using Pig, but the bird always came back with the letter. Ron had become so worried that he had even lead a search party into Muggle London where he had foolishly shown a group of Muggles a wizard photo of Harry cut from the Daily Prophet. Arthur Weasley hadn't been pleased as he had to 'obliviate' them and there had been an inquiry at the ministry that didn't help Molly Weasley's mood one bit.

Now looking around at the press filled train station, Ron's doubts were being confirmed. He was not coming. It was nearly time for the train to leave and they still hadn't boarded and there was no sign of Harry anywhere.

"He can't just not come to Hogwarts, it's school, it's home! Dumbledore would protect him wouldn't he? What if he's - " the question had been left unsaid.

"Nothing's happened to him, Ron!" Hermione snapped but the answer was more to calm her own qualms then Ron's. "More Death Eaters were found so that must mean he's safe. He can take care of himself."

"Maybe it's because of all these news reporters that he's not coming," Ron said. "What if he's standing right next to us in his invisibility cloak?" With that assumption, Ron started pawing at the air but could grasp on to nothing. The whistle blew and after another searching look around the train station, Hermione and Ron boarded the train reluctantly.

The crowd started to dissipate, as there was no sign of Harry Potter anywhere, they concluded that he was not coming. There was a feeling of grim resignation hanging in the air as hopeful spectators turned to leave.

Harry watched until there was hardly anyone left on the platform. The train had left, it would be slightly trickier to Apparate in a moving train but he will try. He just hoped he didn't get splinched in his attempt. Without taking off his invisibility cloak, Harry closed his eyes and pictured the train corridor clearly. With a blink of an eye, Harry tried to steady himself in the moving train.

He gave a sigh of relief at the realization that all his body parts were still intact. He was more grateful that no one else was here to see him appear out of thin air or there would be questions and he really wasn't feeling up to answering anyone.

"Hope you haven't forgotten what I said before summer, Potter!" With an irritated sigh, Harry turned to face a smirking Malfoy and his ever-present cronies. Harry noticed that Malfoy had grown since he saw him last, he looked tall and the right side of his face was completely hooded behind the curtain of his long hair. Harry always had hated the gelled back hair; it had always made him feel gross and reminded him of the giant squid for some reason.

Malfoy wasn't wearing any robes; he had a black high neck on and black, tight fitting jeans. The black attire made him look paler and his hair seemed to glow. Crabbe and Goyle were still their old bulky selves and they too had grown, obviously still over shadowing Malfoy.

'I'm going to make you pay for what you've done to my father...' The words rang fresh in Harry's mind as he recalled them. He had thought that these petty rivalries would have been over when he returned to Hogwarts; after all it was either you were with the Light or with the Dark but he realized it was too much to hope for. On one hand he had the war with Voldemort and the rest of the world and on the other was his relationship of animosity with Malfoy.

"I don't forget promises, Malfoy and I expect them to be kept," Harry replied evenly as he stared back at Malfoy defiantly.

"You think you're invincible, Potter," Malfoy sneered moving towards Harry but he didn't back down, instead he tilted his head to one side in a thoughtful expression.

"Well if I wasn't then I'd have Dumb and Dumber like yours around me, don't you think?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Don't think this is a game, Potter - " Malfoy started.

"Of course it is, Malfoy. Life's a game and we are the players. Only difference is there are no rules," Harry interrupted, he had a sense of déjà vu as he recalled Malfoy's face contorted in anger the same way before the summer, it was even more satisfying then hearing the sound lifeless bodies made on impact with the ground. He couldn't help but smirk.

Malfoy obviously had more sense as he stared daggers at Harry but his comrades were cracking their knuckles threateningly yet not advancing at Harry. Probably waiting for Malfoy's orders, Harry thought dryly.

"They're getting a bit rusty aren't they?" Harry nodded at their knuckles, "Maybe you should go terrorize some poor unsuspecting first years for practice, seems like the only thing you're good at."

Malfoy had had enough of being made a fool by Potter. But he should know by now that Harry's always a step ahead. He already had his wand taken out and pointed at the trio way before they had the time to react. Harry narrowed his eyes at Malfoy.

"Don't make the same mistake your father did, Malfoy. See where that got him." With that Harry walked off, letting them simmer in their rage because he knew Malfoy wouldn't be stupid enough to attack him in a public place especially after his father got executed for Death Eater activities. No one would need any more reason to send Malfoy after his father too.

Draco watched Harry's retreating back; he had to restrain himself from lunging on Potter and pounding him to a pulp. Honestly, his father's capture and execution hadn't fazed Draco at all; the man had it coming anyways, but it was the fact that Lucius Malfoy got defeated by Potter that was making Draco's pure blood boil.

"Should we beat him up?" Goyle grunted. To a normal person it would be hard to decipher their speech but Malfoy had spent enough time with them to learn their language.

"No, it will take more then some punches to beat Potter. And I'm not one to accept defeat so easily."

*

Harry hoped he could just find an empty compartment, put his invisibility cloak on and just disappear. Wishing hadn't helped before and it wasn't going to start now. A compartment door opened just before him and he came face to face with a red head.

Ginny Weasley's eyes widened as she took in the person standing in front of her. The only thing she could think to do was to just hug him and it was quite a long time before she let him go. She looked at him up and down in admiration.

She took in Harry's clothes first, his black jacket over a white t-shirt. She almost gasped at the sheer brightness and intensity of Harry's eyes, now that he wasn't wearing any glasses; his eyes were further more complimented by the eyebrow ring. Her eyes finally stopped on Harry's lower lip, which also sported a ring.

Now Ginny had long ago come to accept that her affection towards Harry was the same as that she held for Ron but looking at him now, she could only think of one word. Sexy.

"Should we go inside?" Harry asked. Ginny nodded, still in a daze, and entered the compartment. Harry once again thought back to the beginning of his fifth year as he saw the same company around him, there was Neville tightly clutching his toad, Trevor. Luna Lovegood sat next to the window; her head buried in the latest copy of the Quibbler but for once it wasn't upside down. This time her wand was not tucked behind her ear for safekeeping but stuck in the tight bun she had her dirty blonde hair in.

"Harry!" Neville exclaimed and Trevor took that moment to hop out of his hands. He jumped up from his seat and threw his arms around Harry to make sure he was real but by doing so he accidentally stepped on Harry's foot. "Oh sorry!" he blushed sheepishly trying to hide his embarrassment. "It's good to see you back!"

"Hello, Harry." Luna sighed dreamily.

"Hi, Luna." Harry replied with a forced smile on his face, he was not going to let Malfoy ruin anything for him and he certainly wasn't going to take out his anger on his friends. He noticed that Ron and Hermione were absent, probably doing prefect duties. For the first time, Harry was actually glad at his best friends' absence. He wouldn't be able to control his temper with Ron's incessant chatter and Hermione's infuriating observance.

"We were so worried, Harry! You could have at least sent an owl to let us know you were okay. Dad would check five or six times a day for any news on you in the ministry and mom was beside her self with worry," Ginny said. Harry felt guilty for not feeling guilty. He was starting to realize that things didn't matter to him as much as they used to and that concept really scared him. Yes, Harry Potter was scared, because he was slowly loosing any trace of humanity left in him. He hated to think how his friends would react to his lack of emotion but what he hated most was that he simply didn't care.

"I'm here aren't I?" Harry replied distantly. Ginny stared at him with shock and hurt for being so easily brushed off.

"We went to Sirius Black's funeral, Harry. I'm sorry about your godfather, I know how it feels." Neville said softly. Harry looked up at him just before the smaller boy turned away but not before Harry saw the moisture around his eyes.

"We expected you to be there, Harry. How could you miss it?" Ginny said in an accusatory tone.

"Was he there?" Harry asked with the same emotionless tone. He had contemplated over going, of course he hadn't wanted to be seen but he still could have gone without being noticed. Though at the end he decided there was no point, they never could recover Sirius's body from beyond the veil and Harry saw no reason to mourn over an empty grave.

"But - but - " Ginny sputtered, obviously at a loss for words.

"He wasn't there, Ginny. He's dead, if I'm coming to accept it then so should you." He shrugged.

"Harry, what has happened to you?" Ginny asked; disbelief and a hint of righteous anger evident on her freckled face. "How can you say that? Sirius was the only thing close to a parent to you and how can you be so - so cold about it?"

"Lose someone you love, you lose everything," Luna said mysteriously without looking up from the magazine in her hand. Obviously she had been listening even if not contributing towards the conversation.

"What's happened to me is that I've just realized we are in a war, people are going to die and I don't have time to mourn each of them. I paid my respects to Sirius and now it's time to move on." Harry said and turned to stare out at the moving pasture outside the window, obviously indicating that the conversation was over.

Neville stared at the boy he thought of as a hero. His grandmother had cancelled their subscription of the Daily Prophet when it started printing lies about Harry last year, but his uncle had told him all about the reports of Death Eaters turning up dead at the ministry. At first he had been shocked at the news but in a way he could relate to Harry.

Maybe if he hadn't been such a bloody coward then he could have also gone against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and avenged his parents. And maybe he will get the chance to make his parents proud even if they were in no state to even recognize him as their only son.

The silence was getting unbearable in the compartment, Ginny was just itching to say something and Neville was trying to cringe away from what ever disaster that was bound to occur. Everyone excluding Harry almost let out a collective sigh of relief as the door to the compartment opened to reveal Ron and Harry in a very heated discussion.

"I know he's not telling us something, Ron. Where have you been for the past months?" Hermione threw her arms up in frustration.

"I know him more than anyone else and I know he won't keep anything a secret from us - " Ron yelled back as he stepped inside followed by Hermione who bumped into his back as he stopped in the middle of the compartment.

She peeked around Ron and her eyes widened as she saw the back of Harry's head that hadn't bothered to look up to see who had just entered. So she was the first one to break out of the trance and step towards Harry to envelope him in a tight hug.

"Oh my god! Harry, you're okay! You nearly killed us with worry over you." Hermione blinked back tears and didn't let go of Harry.

"Yeah, glad to see you too," He said again with that same indifferent tone that was really starting to get on Ginny's nerves. Ron too now stepped forward and touched Harry lightly on the shoulders to make sure he wasn't just an illusion.

"Harry, mate! Where have you been all this time? Did you really think we wouldn't be concerned about you?" Ron said still looking at Harry in a funny way. Something had changed about his best friend but he couldn't pin point it. He looked at Hermione for guidance and saw that the same thoughts were probably running through her head.

"I'm fine," he replied. And here it begins, Harry thought wearily as his numbing headaches made another come back to the surface. He had been having these headaches a lot recently; they just needed a slight trigger to start throbbing like hell.

Harry was aware of Ginny filling his best friends in on the little sort-of-argument that had taken place before their arrival. He was even more aware of the looks thrown at him now and then. Harry didn't care what they thought of him. Over the past weeks he had come to realize that whatever the outcome was of the war, he was a dead man anyways, a marked man.

He had always owed his life to someone, first his mother, and then his relatives even if he was loathe to admitting it, then Dumbledore and now Voldemort. He was sick of not being in control of his life and the prophecy revealed to him before the summer had once again taken that control away from him. And now that he was doing what was expected of him, people start questioning, well screw them, he didn't care.

The hours were spent in conversations that did not include Harry because he simply didn't feel like partaking in anything. Soon the train arrived at Hogsmeade and by then they had all changed into their robes. Hermione was one of the last ones to leave the compartment alongside Harry and when she opened her mouth, Harry had a pretty good idea what it was going to be about.

"Harry - I - Ginny told us - about you know, what you said earlier on. You don't really believe that do you?" Hermione asked hesitantly. Harry sighed and turned to face her, he grabbed her by the shoulders, not too hard but enough so she couldn't turn away.

"Hermione, listen to me very carefully. You think the death of Sirius hasn't hurt me? Every time I close my eyes, Hermione, every single time I see his face at that last moment. And you know Voldemort will come after me, because ultimately he will, even you know that, it will be only me against him. Not Dumbledore, not the Order, just me," Harry said in a barely audible voice, his eyes holding a manic glint yet his face was utterly emotionless. Hermione was really getting scared and she wasn't scared easily but it seemed that Harry hadn't finished just yet. "You want to know why I'm not like the way I used to be? Because I've seen too much death, heard too many screams and every time I look at my parents' murderer's face, I can see the hundreds of faceless ghosts around him. And if you can manage to keep your sanity after all that, Hermione, then you're more suitable for this job than I am but believe me I wouldn't wish my nightmares on even my worst enemy, not even Malfoy."

Harry exited and came face to face with the other former occupants of the compartment, which meant they had heard everything. Good, Harry thought, then I won't have to repeat myself. He walked away to get off the train without another backwards glance.

Outside the shouts and excited cries of first years met his ears as Ron and Hermione came to join him, each without saying a word. Usually they would go to greet Hagrid but Harry moved on towards the waiting carriages without another word. Hermione looked at Ron who shrugged and started following Harry. Once again the journey to the castle was spent in silence, with Harry staring emptily into space. Hermione was studying him while Ron was frowning at both of them.

The moment Harry entered the Great Hall, eyes turned to stare at him but he was used to this kind of attention as he ignored the stares and moved to sit at the end of the Gryffindor table near the high table of the staff. It seemed as if the Professors at the high table above had noticed as well, Harry was surrounded by this power that hit everyone around him.

Dumbledore looked at Harry too, the lack of response from the boy had troubled the old headmaster but he had let it go, thinking that Harry needed some time for the wounds to heal. But Dumbledore now realized his mistake as he watched the almost lifeless movements of the boy, the way he would look with those empty green eyes. The way he would smile as if it had been painted on his face. The other troubling thing was this sense of power, the moment Harry had entered the room, a ripple of power emanated from him and washed over everyone. Dumbledore frowned; this will have to be looked at.

The usual proceedings had taken place after the first years had been sorted. Harry had been concentrating on blocking his mind when he felt a rough hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Cornelius Fudge and a couple of men dressed in official Ministry robes.

"Come with us, Potter. We have some things to discuss," He said in a cold way. Harry just stared at him without getting up.

"What is it?"

"I think we should discuss this privately - "

"I do not appreciate you harassing my students without conferring with me first, Cornelius." Dumbledore's voice echoed in the now silent hall as he walked calmly down to where the men were standing.

"Harassing?" Cornelius barked. "It is my duty as minister to punish those who think they can get away with breaking the laws."

"And what laws has Harry broken?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. Cornelius took out a roll of parchment from his robe and started reading from it in a loud, authoritative manner.

"Mr. Harry Potter has been once again accused of using unauthorized magic in a Muggle setting. He's used magic on hundred and seventy-nine accounts, including the Unforgivable Curses. Imperius was used thirty six times, Cruciatus Curse was used twenty three times and the Killing Curse was used forty three times. Do you deny?" Cornelius turned his cold eyes towards Harry who still wore the mask of indifference on his face. The silence was so loud, it was deafening in a strange way, and everyone seemed to have held their breath. Harry Potter, saviour of the Wizarding world had used the Unforgivable Curses. Just using any of those curses once could get him a lifetime sentence in Azkaban

For a moment the headmaster just watched the child turned monster in front of him. How long had it taken for Harry to go through this transformation? Dumbledore blamed himself for Harry's behaviour. If only he hadn't been weak all those years ago and told the child the truth from the beginning then they might not have been forced into such difficult circumstances.

"Harry, do you deny any of the charges?" Dumbledore finally asked.

"No."

Just one word and everything seemed to come down shattering. Loud whisperings began. Of course everyone must have known from before about what Harry had got up to in the summer but hearing the Boy-Who-Lived admit it himself was something entirely new.

"We have to take him into custody, Albus." Cornelius looked at the headmaster as if daring him to stop the officers from taking Harry away. After the Dark Lord's return, the minister wasn't taking any risks even if that meant he had to detain the-Boy-Who-Lived in Azkaban. No one could be trusted and You-know-who had come back with the help of the boy's blood. Who knew what kind of connection the two shared even if the latter had killed more Death Eaters just by himself than a whole team of Aurors ever could.

Dumbledore was about to say something but Harry got up. The officers took their wands out at the ready. Harry just looked at them in amusement.

"Now, Potter, we can do this the easy way or the hard way - " the minister started in a rather hesitant tone, now that the boy had mastered the Killing Curse there was no telling what he might do next.

"Do you think you can take me by force, Fudge?" Harry raised an eyebrow. He closed his eyes for a brief second and with just a flick of his hand his luggage appeared by his side, including Hedwig's cage.

It was hard to decide if the Great Hall had burst into shouts and cries or had been swallowed in further silence. But one thing was for sure that if people had been a bit wary of Harry before, they were terrified now. No one had been known for using wand less magic to such an extreme for centuries in all of the History of Hogwarts. The officers looked around at the minister who had gone pale as if he had seen a ghost.

Harry fixed them with a cold stare.

"You can throw me out, you can lock me up. You can do whatever you want with me but let me tell you something," Harry drew closer towards Fudge who tried to back away but Harry caught his upper right arm. "When dear Voldie hunts you down one by one, don't come running back to me to save your sorry arse." It had been a whisper but loud enough for the whole Great Hall to hear.

"Threats are not going to work, Potter." Fudge tried to sneer but it came out pathetically high-pitched. Harry threw his head back and laughed.

"I guess Dumbledore hasn't told you about the prophecy has he?" Harry shot his headmaster a look who was trying to plead with him silently with his eyes but Harry ignored him. "Well, whatever, Fudge. I'm here, you're here, your minions are here, and all of Hogwarts is here. So shall we be on our way to Azkaban? Oh and can I pick my own Dementor before the Kiss but oh wait, didn't they all run off to join Voldemort's anti-Muggle campaign? There was this really cute one I remember...At least I'll know I had the choice of picking my own executer."

The hall was once again filled with shocked stares and gasps at Harry Potter's audacity. It seemed even the minister was at a loss for words; Harry just drew his wrists in front of the officers. "So are you going to arrest me or what?" he asked coldly. A bit taken back, the officers looked at the minister for help who shook his head towards him.

"I - I think we'll discuss this later - " he stuttered and signalled his officers before walking quickly out of the hall.

"Harry - "

"I'm not hungry," Harry cut him off, with another flick of his wrist, his trunk and Hedwig's cage was gone. He walked out of the hall without another backwards glance. Professor McGonagall made to follow but Dumbledore stopped her with a raise of his hand.

...to be continued...