24 Hour High Wine

It was the day after Harry's seventeenth birthday party. Harry had been escorted to the Burrow, where he had received presents and had his very first birthday party. That was when Fred and George had introduced him to their newest invention, "24 Hour High Wine." And just like the name, it made whoever drank it high for exactly twenty-four hours. With no hangover or anything of the sort. Harry, of course, was totally oblivious to this, and had drunk the whole bottle wholeheartedly.

It was the next morning, and Harry was contemplating his porridge. It was just so... gooey...and ... white... Harry chuckled at his discovery. He poked the gooey, white substance with his spoon and laughed again. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny just stared at him. No one else had drunk the wine, except Harry, and nobody else knew about it either.

"Er...Harry?" Hermione said slowly.

"Yes, dearest Hermynymynone," said Harry with a huge grin on his face. Ginny's eyes got wide and Ron stifled a laugh with his fist.

"Are you feeling okay?" Hermione asked.

Harry raised his hands and stared at them intently. Then jumped up, his hands still in the air. "I feel ALIVE!" he said, nearly shouting.

"What the hell..." Ron said slowly, as Harry started doing the Macarena. Ron turned to Hermione, with the oddest expression on his face. All Hermione could do is shrug.

"Giniby! Darling! Would you mind to dance with me?" said Harry with a bow to Ginny. Ginny just stared at him.

"Um, Harry, I think you need to go lie down," she said.

Harry got up quickly and grinned. "I was just about to suggest the same thing!"

Ron stopped laughing and stood up quickly. "That's not funny Harry!"

Hermione grabbed Ron's arm. "Come on, he's obviously not in his right mind," she said, watching Harry now pull a strand of hair out of his head and examine it. Just then Mrs. Weasley walked in.

"Hermione, your mother just sent a letter. She said that Ginny could come over for the rest of the week." Ginny and Hermione both smiled happily. Ginny had wanted to see the Muggle world firsthand for a long time.

"You better go pack now, she said Hermione's dad will be here to pick you up at noon." Mrs. Weasley now turned to Harry, who was now running to all the chairs and sitting on them. A split second after he would sit on one chair, he would jump up quickly and go to the next, to the beat of "Mary Had a Little Lamb."

Mrs. Weasley stared at him for a minute, and assuming it was just excess energy, she turned to Ron. "Ron deary, your father and I are going to go out tonight. So I've charmed the kitchen to cook you a meal when you and Harry get hungry. And I've written where we are going to be on a piece of paper. It's on one of the cabinet doors, so you'll know where to owl me in case--"

"But mom! I won't be here. I'm going on a date tonight," Ron said.

Mrs. Weasley just goggled at him. Then smiled brightly. "A date? Oh my sweet Ronny is growing up!" She flung her arms around his neck, nearly choking him.

"Mom, I can't--breathe--please!" Ron gasped between breaths. Mrs. Weasley finally let go of him.

"Who is the lucky girl?" she asked eagerly.

"Well, actually she's a Muggle."

Mrs. Weasley just stared. "Are you sure you will know what to say?"

"Oh yes. Harry and Hermione have already helped me, and if I don't know what to say then I have the perfect excuse! There is just one problem..." he said slowly. Mrs. Weasley raised an eyebrow at him.

"I kind of need to..er..can I..uh..."

Harry then jumped out from behind Ron, and sang (and I mean he literally sang, with a tune and everything,) "Dear, dear, Mrs. We-e-as-el-ee! Can Ron borrow you ca-a-ar-ar!"

"Oh dear, Harry, are you okay?" asked Mrs. Weasley, obviously concerned. But Harry was back to the chairs, except now he was sitting to the beat of the Barney theme song, "I Love You."

Mrs.Weasley turned to Ron. "So, you want to borrow the car? Do I have to remind you what happened last time you drove our car?"

Ron sighed and said in an exasperated tone, "But that was totally different, I mean... well...it was flying."

Mrs. Weasley sighed, looking at the pleading face of her youngest son. She thought of the brand new car that was sitting in the garage. Dark blue with white interior, they had spent a fortune on it.

She pointed a finger at his nose, and said in a threatening voice, "If I hear that you have so much as made a millimeter of a scratch on that car--" But before she could finish, Ron had hugged her.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" he said happily. Harry then came from behind him again. He was pouting.

"I want to go!" he said, whining.

Ron turned and glared at Harry. "But it's my date!"

Molly then said, "You know what, you better take him with you."

"WHAT!?" Ron's mouth had dropped open.

"Well, Ron, honey, think about it. He'll be all alone, and we all know HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED it still after him. And well, look at him." Harry was now sitting on the floor, with his nose pressed to the wood. He was moving his head around until he jumped up.

"Hey, I spelled my name with my nose!" he said happily. Ron just stared then turned to his mother. "But this is a date we're talking about!"

"Well, you're either taking him with you or you are not going at all!" she said angrily. She turned on her heel and left. Ron turned and put his fist in Harry's face. "I swear, I'm going to--ARGGH!!!"

Harry had just bit Ron's fist.

Later that day, after everybody had left, Ron was staring at himself in the mirror. After closing his eyes a few times, and re-opening them, he gave up. It's just as red as it will always be, he told himself.

He turned and walked down the stairs. He turned to go into the living room, when something out of the corner of his eye startled him.

Harry was lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Ron bent over him. "What are you doing?" he said sharply. He was still angry with Harry for having to come.

"Doomed...all the earth...doomed. The Giant Jelly people are coming..." he said in a dreamy voice. Ron just rolled his eyes and heaved Harry up.

"Here, have this...what was it called? Soda, I think. Hermione brought it." Seeing the dazed look on Harry's face he added, "It is good. It helps keep Giant Jelly people away." He indicated the can in his hand. This is seemed to satisfy Harry, because he drank the whole thing in one gulp.

"MORE! MORE!" he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Ron handed him another, and another. Soon Harry had gulped down over eight cans of soda. Ron checked his watch and gasped. "I'm--we're late!" he said. He pulled Harry up and dragged him to the car.

Harry squealed and hugged the car. "Daddy..." he said, patting the car's hood.

"Come on Harry, inside..."

He pushed Harry with great difficulty into the backseat. Once he was in the driver's seat he turned to Harry. "I swear, if you do one thing, or say one thing to embarrass me, I will curse, hex, and jinx you into next year!" Harry just goggled at him, with a stupid grin on his face.

Ron sighed and rolled his eyes again. "I'll make the Giant Jelly people come after you," he said in an exasperated tone. Harry gasped and cowered in his seat.

"Oh please, no, all mighty Rod!"

"Ron," Ron muttered under his breath. He turned the car on and backed out of the driveway. He was very pleased that Harry had said nothing on the way there. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

But Harry was in the back, contemplating something. He had drunk all that soda, and he had a... what was it... a bubbly feeling inside. It would be soon, oh yes, very soon. He would soon be able to share with the world the wonderful, exotic substance he had drunk.

Ron pulled into the girl's driveway and turned to Harry. "I'm going to go get my date. You stay here and be a good boy, okay?"

Harry didn't say anything. He was too distraught. It wasn't coming. He couldn't make it happen.

Ron seemed to be satisfied with the silence because he was now approaching the door.

Harry sat and thought for a moment. Why couldn't he do it? Why couldn't he burp? Then a terrible thought came to him. What if he never burped again? Tears welled in his eyes. If he had known the last time he burped was the last time he burped, he would have done it more proudly!

Ron now opened the door and let his date in. She was a pretty girl of about 16. She had curly black hair, and hazel eyes. She turned and smiled at Harry. "Are you Ron's little cousin?" she said in a baby voice, while Ron got in.

Ron had told the girl, whose name was Frieda, that Harry was Ron's cousin. "He's mentally disturbed. I'm sorry, I had to bring him. Couldn't leave him all by himself, you know..."

But Frieda was perfectly all right with Ron bringing his disturbed cousin.

Harry on the other hand stared at her. And recognized her immediately. She was the Queen of The Little Peanut Butter People. They were the people who had been down trodden by the Giant Jelly people for years. He put his hand to his heart, and bowed his head appreciatively.

"My queen. It is an absolute pleasure to meet you." He took her hand and kissed it. "I am forever in your service."

Frieda giggled. "Ron, he's so adorable and sweet."

Ron forced a smile onto his face. "Oh yes..." he said, trying all he could to hide the anger in his voice. He's dead. That's all there is to it. I should have left him to let YOU-KNOW-WHO get him...

Ron started to drive to the movies, and Frieda started to chat merrily with him. This lifted his spirits. Harry on the other hand, was in the back, thinking.

If only I could burp, he thought, then that would make the queen so proud! He started to panic once more. He tried and tried, but just could not burp. He finally gathered up his courage. It's worth the Giant Jelly people, he thought.

"Rod! I can't burp!" he yelled. Ron jumped and nearly crashed into the nearest lamppost. I wonder what hex is the most painful, he thought. He was going to ignore Harry, when Harry cried out again, "I can't burp! Help me!"

"Oh, er...just concentrate on your foot," Ron said, saying the first thing that came to his mind.

Harry took this amazing wisdom to heart, and put his foot out in front of him. He screwed his face up in concentration and stared at it. He stared so hard his head started to pound.

"So, what are your hobbies?" asked Frieda.

"Well, I like...er...basketball," he said. Hermione and Harry had told him all the rules to the game. They had planned this to be Ron's favorite sport, since it was the closest one to Quidditch the Muggle world could offer.

"You know what my favorite hobby is?" said Frieda sweetly and quietly. She placed her head on Ron's shoulder. "I like to cuddle up by the fire, all alone, with my guy... When nobody's home. All alone..." She paused for effect.

Ron gulped.

"How's about it?" she asked sweetly.

But before he could say anything...

*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*

There was a few minutes ringing silence, and then the Boy-Who-Lived put his hands up in glee.

"ROD! I BURPED!"