Never Alone

It was dark as Remus Lupin entered Twelve Grimmauld Place. Dawn had not yet come, would not come for a while yet. In many ways, he wondered if it would ever come. His step dragged as he walked, for his feet felt as leaden as his heart. The final Marauder had an air of defeat about him, hopelessness infused throughout his form. After all, there was no reason for it anymore, no reason for hope. It was gone. He was gone. Sirius, the last of his unfailing friends, had fallen.

Tonks, Knightley, Alastor and the rest of the Order had dispersed, some to the Ministry, some to St. Mungo's, and others to Hogwarts itself. But Remus, Remus was alone. He would always be alone now. Prongs...Padfoot...the core of their group had been destroyed. Already torn asunder by betrayal, this last death had sealed their fate. The Marauders were no more. It was Moony who stood solitary at the last.

Remus walked automatically into the kitchen, noting dully that the portrait of Mrs. Black still slept. She would be pleased, he thought bitterly as he sank heavily onto a chair. "Accio Vodka." Remus didn't bother with a glass. Opening the bottle, he tipped back his head and took a large gulp, willing it all to melt away: the pain, the rage, the grief.

How long he sat there, he didn't know. All he knew was that it wasn't long enough. He could still feel it; it ate away at him, making him wonder what would be left when it was done. But really, he knew the answer: nothing. Nothing would be left, because he was the only one. Without Sirius, without James, there was no one but Moony, the lone werewolf, the scourge of polite society.

"Sirius?" The voice of Phineas Nigellus startled Remus out of his torpor. "Sirius! Where are you, Sirius?"

Mrs. Black, awakened by Phineas' shouts, began screaming, "No good half-breeds! Mudbloods! Filthy!"

"Have you seen Sirius?" Remus heard Phineas ask the raging portrait.

"That no good abomination! Disgrace! Scourge of my flesh! Taint on the name of Black!"

As Remus listened to the hag's ranting screams, his self-control was melting away. He felt rage boiling up from somewhere deep within him.

"Dumbledore says he's dead," Phineas said, his desperate disbelief clear.

Mrs. Black, however, cackled triumphantly. "Rid of him! Finally rid of that pathetic excuse for a son! I'll never have to see that blood traitor again! Got what he deserved!"

Remus stood quickly, ignoring the fact that the room spun before him. Blazing with anger, the werewolf in him rearing its head, he stormed out into the hall, the bottle of vodka forgotten in his hand. "SHUT UP!"

But nothing could take the glee from Mrs. Black's voice. "Rid of him! Rid of that, that thing forever!"

"You will NOT speak of him that way!"

"I'll do whatever I want! Free of him!" She cackled again, and the sound pushed Remus completely over the edge.

With one rapid movement, he threw the nearly forgotten bottle at the portrait. Mrs. Black shrieked as vodka ran down her previously pristine clothing. Remus stared with great satisfaction at the now stained canvas. The old hag's arrogance had defeated her in the end; there were no protective charms on her likeness itself.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

Remus, incensed, moved as if to fling himself at the portrait. At the last moment, a hand reached out to stop him.

"Remus, don't."

Remus turned to stare at the woman beside him. "Alcyone?" he asked in confusion.

She turned to him with tears glistening in her eyes. "I just heard."

"You!" Mrs. Black shouted, seeing a new target for her malice. "Another of his kind! Filthy half-breed! Disgrace! Traitor of the flesh! Your father should have drowned you as a child!"

Alcyone Harper, proud member of the Order of the Phoenix, turned to her great -aunt. "Seeing as he was a Muggle, I don't think he would have agreed with you."

"YOU!"

"Sirius!" Phineas yelled, still in denial.

"That's enough out of you," Alcyone said firmly. "Pipe down or I'll throw tea on that uncovered face of yours."

"YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

Alcyone faced Mrs. Black with a level stare. "Wouldn't I?" Without waiting for a response, Alcyone tugged the now submissive curtains over the portrait.

"Albus had to be wrong," Phineas whispered to himself.

"Albus Dumbledore speaks the truth," Alcyone told Phineas sorrowfully. "You won't find what you seek." Disheartened and near tears, Phineas Nigellus returned to his Hogwarts portrait to mourn the death of his 'noble' line.

Rid of the distractions, Alcyone turned to Remus. His red rimmed eyes gazed at her, despair shining out. "Oh Remus," she said, enveloping him in a tight embrace. He froze for a moment before returning the sentiment. When he did, he clung to her as if she were a life line, as if only her presence was preventing some desperate action on his part.

Still grasping her as if she were his only link to sanity, he said brokenly, "He's dead Alcyone. He's," Remus choked on the horrible words. "He's really gone this time."

Alcyone closed her eyes, trying to block the pain his words caused. "I don't want it to be true, Remus," she whispered, pain embedded in every word.

"I know," he said heavily, pulling out of the embrace. "But it is."

The pair walked slowly into the drawing room, weighed down by a powerful force none could see: the force of their grief. They sat, side by side, in silence, ensconced in the large couch Mundungus Fletcher had managed to procure.

"I came as soon as I heard," she said softly.

"Who told you?" he asked dully, not really caring for the answer.

"Kingsley," she replied. "He thought I should know." She took a deep breath, a steadying breath. "I know how much he meant to you, Remus."

"He meant so much to us all," said Remus, once again trying to be brave in the face of another, for the sake of another. "To Harry, to you..."

Alcyone smiled sadly. "We were related and in the time I knew him, I loved him like a brother. But you see, the difference is that you really were his brother in every way that mattered."

"Harry," Remus began again.

But Alcyone would not let him finish. She placed a gentle hand on his arm. "You don't always have to be the strong one, Remus."

"I do," he refuted.

"Not for me," she countered tenderly. "Not now."

"I can't," he muttered, the pain in his voice overwhelming. "I just can't."

"He loved you, you know," she said after a pause. "You and James, you were everything to him. And after he got out..." She raised her eyes to meet his. "He told me how much it meant that you could believe him, believe in him after everything. You meant so much to him, Remus, especially these past few years. He told me, not too long ago, that he couldn't imagine what he'd do, what he would have done, without you, his stalwart brother, in every sense of the word."

Her words, gentle and true, broke through his solid determination. Remus crumbled, but he did not fall. Alcyone would not let him fall. She was there to catch him, to hold him. The tears fell in torrents now, streaming down his face as he wept for his loss. And yet, there was no awkwardness in him, no embarrassment that he was, for once, not being strong. There could not be, for Alcyone wept with him. Her tears fell with his, mingled with his, as the torrent continued.

Neither knew how long they sat there, thus intertwined. By the time they pulled apart, their tears were spent, but not their grief...never their grief.

"I saw him die," Remus said quietly. "And there was nothing I could do. There was no way to stop it." He closed his eyes in a futile attempt to shut it all out.

"How?" she asked, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper.

"In the heat of battle," Remus replied softly.

"A curse?" she pressed, needing to know for some inexplicable reason.

"No. The archway."

He'd spoken softly, but to Alcyone, his words echoed as if he'd shouted them. "No," she whispered.

"Bellatrix sent him through it," Remus continued.

"She will pay," Alcyone said after a moment's pause.

"She will," Remus agreed, the steel in his voice confirming her fate.

They sat silently for a while, simply taking it all in. Alcyone glanced at her watch. "My shift," she said reluctantly. "I have to go." She stared at Remus for a second. "Others will come?" it was half statement, half question, but Remus was used to her; he knew what she really meant.

"I'll be fine," he replied with a confidence he did not feel. Then, more subdued, "Thank you."

Alcyone gazed into his eyes for a long moment, desperately wishing she could stay, but knowing she could not. "I just want you to know," she said finally, "that you will never be alone. Ever. Even in your darkest moments, when no one's around, we'll be with you. I'll be with you. Sirius will be with you." She looked away for a moment, composing herself. "He was loyal to a fault in life, and I know that even death could not change that man." Remus said nothing, but his eyes contained volumes, and the merest ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. Reassured, at least a bit, she stood and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you soon," she said softly, and a moment later she was gone, having Apparated to wherever she came from, resuming her task for the Order.

Alone now, alone again, Remus Lupin pondered on what Alcyone had said. "Never alone," he whispered, and he could almost hear a voice answering him from beyond the veil.

"No, Moony, never alone."

The End