Aftermath

I stared around at my surroundings. Bodies, bodies were lying everywhere. Bodies of people from both the Dark and Light side. It was like a forest of people, some lying completely still and silent, whilst others were moaning, begging to die, begging to live. Some trying to run, to hide, from the sudden coldness that has engulfed them, the bright light coming at them with such speed you barely see it coming before its gone.

I then looked at all of those I could see still standing. A few Order members, thank Merlin, had survived the battle. I immediately noted that Ron, Hermione,

Ginny, Fred, and George were all alive. My knees almost buckled in relief. But something was wrong. They looked to be hovering over a body. With horror, I realized it was Mr. Weasley. Wrenching my eyes away from that terrible scene, I continued my scan.

Remus, Mad-Eye, Snape, McGonagall, and Tonks were the only members I could see at that moment. I was sure there had to more survivors. I just knew there had to be somewhere. They were checking the hundreds of bodies, looking for any sign of life. But I could see and hear the life leaving them. It was beginning to be too much. I averted my eyes away, looking down.

There lay the bastard that had started all this. The one who, in my first year of living, had destroyed my life and created my destiny. The one who, during my following sixteen more years of living, had made my life an even greater Hell I ever knew possible. And finally, after years and years of torture and pain, I had defeated Voldemort. I had destroyed the man who had destroyed me in so many ways. One would think I would be rejoicing (I knew already half the Wizarding world was). One would think I'd be ecstatic! But no, I wasn't. I didn't feel anything. Sure, I had defeated the Dark Lord and saved both Wizards and Muggles alike, but at what cost? Hundreds had died just so one could. It wasn't fair. Thinking that hundreds of thousands of Wizards and Witches were rejoicing made me sick.

"Dad...Dad...DAD!"

Hearing frantic screams coming from my right, I tore my eyes away. Looking up, I saw Ginny on her knees, sobbing over her father's body. Mr. Weasley had not survived. Ginny was screaming and crying, shaking his body as though if she shook him hard enough, he'd wake. But it was to no avail.

Fred, having seen enough of his baby sister's desperation to get their father back, took her into his arms, tears streaming down his cheeks. She buried her face in his shoulder, heart-wrenching sobs escaping her mouth. I looked towards George, whose tears were identical to Fred's. But Ron I noticed, was not crying. But his face was extremely pale. Paler than I had ever seen Malfoy's. And he was trembling quite badly. Hermione had him in her arms, trying to be strong, but I could see the tears in her eyes. I walked over to him and placed a comforting arm around his tense shoulders.

"Ginny! Boys!"

The Weasleys, Hermione, and I all looked over in unison and saw Mrs. Weasley bounding towards us, covered in blood but seeming all right. I was filled with relief. She was all right; she had made it.

"Mum!" Ginny sobbed, leaving Fred's side to rush into her mother's arms.

Ron and the twins said nothing, but also ran towards their mother, all breaking down into sobs just as heartbreaking as Ginny's had been earlier. Mrs. Weasley took her children in her arms, purposely avoiding looking at Mr. Weasley's still body.

My heart ached painfully, and I blinked hard, wishing I could have that same thing. The family bond and love. But I knew I could never have it, could never feel it. Never be embraced by a parent when I was upset. I took a steadying breath, forcing myself to remember that Mr. Weasley had just died, and it was selfish of me to be thinking about myself. I felt Hermione's hand entwine with mine, and she squeezed it. I knew she knew what I was thinking. I was grateful for that small gesture.

"Hermione? Hermione, dear?" someone else yelled.

We both looked towards the source of the yell. It was Hermione's parents, arms outstretched, beckoning her over to them. I heard Hermione gasp, followed by a quiet murmur of, "But...how?"

"Dumbledore," I said.

She looked at me then, her eyes filled with tears again, a pleading look in her eyes. I understood perfectly. I nodded and she quickly ran to her mother, much like the Weasleys. She too began to cry, hugging each of her parents in turn.

I suddenly felt a strong prickling feeling behind my eyes. It was all too much. I couldn't take it.

Stop it! You're being selfish. They've been through enough. They need their parents.

But so do I.

Tears were pricking even more persistently at my eyes.

They're not used to it like you! You've been through tough times and made it without them.

But never something like this.

I swallowed hard.

You don't need them. You don't, you don't, you don't. Just get over it and walk away. Go help find survivors. It's the least you can do for them.

That's true. I practically killed them all anyway.

I blinked a few times.

Exactly. You needed them to fight off the Death Eater's for you. It's your fault.

No...no, not all my fault.

I ran my hands through my hair.

Mostly your fault, though. Had you been stronger, their lives could've been spared. You could've held off everyone on your own and still killed Voldemort. You -

I shook my head. I was breaking, I could tell. I needed to stop this internal battle before it got out of hand. I closed my eyes for a moment, fighting control. This was not the time for me to break down. I just defeated Voldemort. I needed to stay strong and check for survivors. I -

"Harry," said a quiet voice behind me.

I slowly turned around and saw Remus standing there. He had warm, loving look on his face. He looked welcoming and understanding. I knew he knew exactly what had just happened to me. As I stared at the closet thing to a father I had left, standing there ready to comfort me because I was upset, emotion overtook me. Like a rolling black wave, it crashed down upon me. I thought I was going to crumple to the ground in a broken heap, but I sudden felt Remus's strong arms around me. I buried my face in his shoulder, tears pouring from my eyes, muffled sobs loud above the seemingly quiet, dead surroundings.

The night's events just suddenly became much too hard for me. All the death, destruction, the loss. I couldn't take it. I hated myself for breaking, and felt ashamed and embarrassed at crying all over Remus. But I knew he understood more than anyone else.

He rubbed my back soothingly, and whispered comforting words to me. Telling me

I'd be okay, I did it, just let it out, I'm here for you, don't be embarrassed, enough has happened to you tonight and you' re more than entitled to cry. I could tell by his voice that he was finding it hard to keep together himself, but he would, I knew, for me. He'd stay strong for me. He had never seen me cry like this before. Of course, I don't cry like this often, or cry at all for that matter, and I knew it must have been tearing him apart.

I noticed suddenly I shaking uncontrollably, but not from the tears. I made an effort to stop myself.

Remus' arms tightened around me. "Don't fight it, Harry. Just let it come."

And I quickly realised that letting it come was all that I could do. The sobs were too much - the pain too strong. Anytime I tried to stop, it felt as though someone were pushing my chest from the inside out. It physically hurt me - so stopping was not an option.

I continued to cry for what felt like forever, but could only have been about ten or so minutes. I soon calmed myself down to hiccups, and gently pushed away.

Remus and I looked at each other. I opened my mouth, but he shook his head. And I realised - words weren't needed here. He knew exactly what I was thinking and what I wanted to say. I smiled - though it was weak, it was genuine.

Together, we went out into the field of death and destruction.

**Fin**