From the Eyes of the Werewolf

Wandering Hogsmeade

The term moved forward quickly and rather uneventfully and soon the whole school was buzzing with excitement over the upcoming Hogsmeade visit and the Christmas holidays. Remus, as well as most of the staff, was looking forward to a leisurely afternoon and the chance to possibly pick up a few items at Hogsmeade for gifts. It had been some time since he'd had money enough to spend on frivolity and he really wanted to get Katie something special for Christmas.

He took his time dressing and nibbled on his breakfast in his own room, reading the Prophet and going over some notes for future lessons. He wanted to wait for a while before heading over, as Hogsmeade was generally crowded early in the day. By late afternoon, the students would run out of money and grow tired from their fun. It was something the Marauders learned quickly when they were at Hogwarts. The best time to visit Hogsmeade was after lunch, and Remus wasn't going to break with tradition.

Hogsmeade was still rather crowded when Remus finally arrived. Even though the sun was bright, the day was quite a cold one, but the weather didn't seem to have discouraged many people from enjoying the day in Hogsmeade. Remus, undecided on just what he wanted to purchase, took a few moments to window shop before heading into Madam Rowling's Robes for All Occasions. His own robes were well worn, as it had been a few years since he had purchased new ones. It would be nice if he had a new outfit to wear for the holidays. Choosing a simple set of plain black robes, he had them altered and fitted. The seamstress told him he could pick them up in about an hour when they would be finished.

Before he left the shop, his eye caught sight of a beautiful blue cloak in the corner. It was made mostly of wool, with embroidery of the finest quality. It glistened as if it were made entirely of sapphires. Probably enchanted. Remus touched it delicately as if handling it too roughly would cause it to shrivel to shreds.

"It's softer than it looks, isn't it?" the seamstress said from behind.

Remus had to agree that he had never felt anything quite as soft before. "It's beautiful." But it would be even more beautiful on Katie.

"That it is. And any lady would be certain to adore it."

How did she know I was thinking about that? "How much is it?"

The price named was far too high for Remus' pocket, but still.... Katie had always complained about the cold on the moors during the winter and how she needed a warmer cloak. She spent far too much time outside, even in the winter, collecting roots for her potions. This would be a perfect gift for her, even if it were a bit expensive.

But then...Katie would never wear it to work in. She probably wouldn't wear it unless it was a special occasion.

It didn't take much to convince himself that the cloak would have to remain in the store. Some other woman would be given the opportunity to enjoy it and he would have to find something else for Katie. He thanked the seamstress and left, still feeling a little down-hearted that he hadn't purchased the cloak.

Shifting his mind to other necessities, he headed over to Honeydukes Sweet Shop. Not bothering to look at the wide variety of fantastic candy, he went right for the chocolate. He had promised Harry he would help him learn how to fight off the Dementors and that meant being in the same vicinity as Dementors. Considering how Harry was affected by them, Remus knew he would need a supply of some of the finest chocolate Honeydukes had to offer. He made his purchase and headed out the door, back into the cold.

He walked along the busy street filled with students, pausing every now and then to glance at something in a window. He felt a bit childish for pausing so long at Zonko's, but like James had said all those years ago...once a Marauder, always a Marauder. There were loads of new items he was itching to get his paws on. How would Fred and George Weasley react if I played a trick on them? Maybe they could even learn a few things. But no, I'm a teacher and I can't encourage that sort of behavior now. Or can I?

He went in the store and picked up a few Filibuster Fireworks. Smiling mischievously, he paid for the items and pocketed them casually. They would be an excellent Christmas present for Fred and George, but Remus wouldn't say who they were from and he would include instructions that they were to be used only in classes where large cauldrons would be used. Pleased at his clever idea, Remus smiled and exited the store heading toward the south.

His smile faded quickly and he gasped at the sight of what lay ahead of him. It had been so long since he'd seen it from the outside, but it looked the same as always. It looked the same as it did the first time he ever saw it. He had been going in the Shrieking Shack for over two years for the transformation before he saw it from the outside. And now, as he stood and looked up at it, he couldn't help but recall his first impression.

"That's it?"

"What?" James asked from behind.

"That's the house?" Remus stared at the shack.

"Talk about your fixer upper," Sirius joked.

"It's not funny, Sirius. I thought it was bigger...more...I dunno...sturdy."

"Of course it's sturdy, Remus," Peter said, "Dumbledore wouldn't put you in a dangerous place for the full moon."

James turned to Remus and added, "Peter is right. It's got all those enchantments on it, hasn't it? To protect you."

"And you have to admit," said Sirius, "it isn't much nicer on the inside. You surely didn't expect it to be..."

"I don't know what I expected," Remus said with a sneer. He shook his head and frowned in repulsion. "I just..." He made a noise that vocalized his disgust and turned away from the shack. "I can't look at it." He walked away from his friends, determined not to talk about this any further. This was their first visit to Hogsmeade and Remus wanted to enjoy himself.

And he wanted to enjoy himself this time as well. Turning his back on the tattered house, he paused to listen to a group of fourth years discussing the possibility of being the first to actually get into the Shack.

"Are you mad? Spend a night in there?" the tallest boy said.

"Why would we ever even want to break into it?" a blond girl said.

"Because, no one has ever done it! Think of the fame we'd achieve!" the boy beamed.

"You're nutters," the blond girl said.

"If Fred and George Weasley can't get in there, what makes you think you can?" the tall boy asked.

Remus smiled and shook his head. He knew they would never get in. That place had more enchantments on it than Filch had confidential files in his filing cabinet.

Filch...

I need to get that map out of his office! The sooner the better!

Heading over to the Three Broomsticks, Remus began plotting a way to get into Filch's office and return the map to one of its rightful owners. After all, if he could look at the map, he'd be able to see if Sirius was on the grounds at any time. And if Remus ever did spot him, it would prove to be the most useful bit of information the map ever yielded.

He entered the Three Broomsticks and took a seat at the bar. Madam Rosmerta soon approached with a sad look on her face. She frowned at Remus and sighed heavily. "Remus Lupin," she said in a languid tone.

"Madam Rosmerta, you remember me."

"How could I ever forget you...and your friends."

Why is she looking at me like that?

She poured him a mug of butter beer and placed it in front of him. "You missed Hagrid, Professors Flitwick and McGonagall, and Cornelius Fudge. They left...about fifteen minutes ago."

Fudge was here? "Why was the Minister of Magic here today?"

Remus was just about to take a drink from his mug when Rosmerta said, "Sirius Black." Remus paused and looked at her curiously. "I suppose he's investigating what happened on Halloween."

Remus nodded and sipped the warm drink slowly. Rosmerta was still looking at him, but her look had become a suspicious one. She wants you to talk about Sirius. She would ask, but she's afraid to.

"I don't know what happened on Halloween. I was just as shocked as everyone else." He sipped again, feeling as if this was becoming an interrogation rather than a casual conversation.

"Like I told the Minister, I still have trouble believing it." She shook her head and her curls bounced around her face.

"You and me both, Rosmerta."

***

Later that day, after he had unpacked his new robes and hung them in his wardrobe, emptied his pockets of the chocolate, and hidden the fireworks safely in his trunk, Remus retired to his favorite place...in front of the fire with a cup of tea. As he passed his desk, he noticed a letter laying on top of it that hadn't been there earlier. Humm...the owl must have left it here not knowing I was in Hogsmeade. He recognized the handwriting at once and smiled happily.

Taking the letter over to the sofa, he opened it gently, trying desperately to ignore the scent of it. But he couldn't. This had probably been in Katie's hand this morning and Remus could still make out the soft scent of the wet earth from the garden, the pungent smell of parsley used in some potion, and a whiff of the smoke from her fires. Her image filled his mind as he began to read.

Dear Remus,

Glad to hear the Grindylow was a success with your younger students, as it was rather disgusting to catch and I've a bit of a sniffle still from standing in that mucky water for so long trying to net the wretch. Mrs. Noyes was exceptionally unamused to have the thing in the front parlor while I figured out how to best get it up to you, but said nothing other than to mutter 'about time' once I'd handed it over to the delivery wizard.

I had dinner with Parson last night. I had to travel up to Exeter anyway to obtain some supplies and decided I'd just drop by and deliver his usual order, as I do every month. He asked if I would join him for dinner and frankly wouldn't take "No" for an answer. As there was no need to rush back home, I decided it would be a reasonable way to spend the evening. He took me to a very fine Muggle restaurant where we enjoyed an exceptionally good meal. I need to remember to bring more wine back with me the next time I visit as the wine shops there have a much better selection than our one licensee. Parson went on about his decidedly egocentric family and their various accomplishments, as usual, but at least he's a highly amusing storyteller so the evening wasn't a total loss. I tried to discuss a little gardening and healing arts with him, but he doesn't care too much for either so that conversation wasn't particularly successful. I miss having you to speak to about these things, Remus. By the way, I see the white mums have bloomed. Weren't they your mother's favorite? I can see why. They are extraordinarily beautiful.

I think about you up there at Hogwarts, but it sounds like you are happy despite your trepidation about going, and I am very pleased about that. I imagine you get that vague, happy little smile about your face more often. And certainly, as you're inside teaching your students, I don't have to worry about you being outside giving yourself a dreadful cold. Speaking of colds, this potion your Madam Pomfrey has you on sounds rather aggressive. Valerian is a sedative, Petasites are painkillers, and Calendula is used in anti-trauma remedies. Have you suddenly gone frail and simply haven't informed me? I shall be most upset if you return here in the summer without all your limbs. As to my own warmth, don't fret. I'll get around to purchasing a new cloak once Christmas has past. Until then, the one you refer to as the "ratted old puffskien pelt" will just have to manage.

Keep me up to date on how things are going for you.

Love,

K

The last rays of the day's sun poured in through the window and turned the room and its contents red and gold, casting a shadow over Remus' face. He reread the letter once again, wincing at the references to Parson and the enjoyable evening she had spent with him.

Parson Parolles. Why did it have to be him? Please, Katie...anyone but him!

Yes, Remus decided he was jealous of the time Katie spent with Parson now. He had never been jealous of him before as he always felt Katie preferred his company to that of Parson's, but Remus wasn't there to visit with her right now and Parson was. Beyond that, Parson could afford to take her to fancy restaurants and, if she asked, would have probably bought her that beautiful cloak without thinking twice about the cost.

But the thing that bothered Remus the most was that Parson could offer her a future...something Remus could not do. This was not a matter of money now that he really began to ponder it. It was the fact that he was a werewolf and utterly undeserving of any relationship with this wonderful woman. Remus had no right to even consider bringing Katie into his life permanently. His lycanthropy wasn't something that he felt she needed to deal with for the rest of her life. She deserved better. She deserved everything that life had to offer. She deserved everything Parson had to offer.

The hand holding the letter instinctively came up to his nose and he sniffed at it, taking in the smells he associated with Katie. How he missed her. He closed his eyes and imagined he was watching her tend the garden...the white mums surrounding her like a heavenly cloud. She turned and smiled up at him. How beautiful her face was when she smiled. How happy it made him to just look at that smile.

And how upsetting it was that another man was currently enjoying that smile. It was even more upsetting that it was an insufferable git like Parson!

Remus opened his eyes and realized he had crumpled the letter in his fist. He smoothed it out, took a deep breath, and reread her last paragraph. Cringing at her comment about getting a new cloak, Remus looked up at her picture on the mantle. Katie love, you deserve the best in life. If only I could give it to you.