Defence Against the Dark Creature

Chapter Six

Something was nibbling on his finger. Remus sat up with a start. The contrast between the world of his dreams and the morning light was so stark that he stared at the wall opposite him in confusion for a while, until reality began to fall back into place. It had been a dream, thank God. He breathed slowly, trying to shake off the night's images.

Realising that his finger was still being pecked at, he looked down to see a minute owl on his blanket, hopping in apparent impatience. He quickly took the letter it carried, and the owl took off with a loud hoot.

Remus-
I've been thinking of you all week. How are you holding up?
How are the students? What exactly is going to happen
tonight?
Yes, I remember that you never talked about it, but damn it
Remus, I need to know. Tell me about the arrangements. I
need to know you're safe, need to picture it at least even if
I can't be there for you.
I wish I could be there for you.
Remember Moony and Padfoot? Of course you do. We'll
get there again eventually, I know it.
Write to me NOW.
Sirius

Remus thrust the letter aside on his bed, stood up and moved to the window. He gazed over the peaceful-looking garden, glistening strangely in the first rays of sunshine, whose yellow-gold colour bleached out the deeper colours of the flowers. The breeze calmed him down, but his heart was still beating heavily.

It was tonight, tonight, and he wasn't prepared at all. Had he ever been prepared? No, he supposed, but there had been times when he had approached a full moon with less anxiety.

He hadn't meant to let anything show, but nonetheless Charlotte's voice had sounded very calming when she had explained the details to him two weeks ago, making it clear that she had picked up on his inner distress. It was ironic, he thought wryly; he was supposed to be the one calming others down: at least that had always been the role he had assumed. He turned away from the window. He hated not being in control.

The children were spending the night together. That fact had taken a while to sink in. Charlotte had explained that they had formed a pack of some sorts; while having taken these two years to get used to each other, they now didn't attack each other any longer and even calmed each other down. However, any new addition to the pack always disrupted pack relations. And she had given him a very sympathetic look, and he had looked away.

He had told her he didn't want to spend the night with them. Every part of his body had rebelled against the idea. The possibility that he could hurt someone - Charlotte had assured that would not happen, but he had not been convinced. They had discussed it for hours, days even. She had sworn that it would be better for him the earlier he joined them; but seeing him so very opposed to the idea, she had leant back and left the choice entirely to him. And finally, he had started accepting the idea; after all, the teachers would make sure he wouldn't hurt the children.

And that wasn't the only reason, was it? Very slowly, while gritting his teeth, Remus admitted to himself that somehow, in some twisted way, he didn't want to give this part of himself up - he didn't want to share this with anyone but... but that was over.

"We'll get there again eventually, I know it." In the meantime he would just have to adapt to his surroundings, and get rid of that stupid instinct that made him so reluctant to open this door up to anyone else.

Speaking of doors. There was a knock, and upon his answer, the Matron entered the room, holding a goblet full of a steaming liquid that smelled almost as bad as the Wolfsbane Potion - but he would have recognised that anywhere. This was something different.

"Good morning," she said briskly and walked into the room without hesitation, putting the goblet and a smaller cup on the table. "Sorry if I woke you up, but this needs to be taken early."

"You didn't wake me up." Remus realised he was still in his pyjamas and quickly pulled on his dressing-gown. "As a matter of fact, I just got up. What is this?"

"Pepperup, special recipe," Angela said over her shoulder as she poured some of the red liquid into the cup. "You'll have to tell me whether it agrees with you. Some of the children have had problems with the ingredients, and I've had to make several variations of it ever since." She handed him the cup. "You need to drink this at once."

Remus nodded and swallowed the bitter-tasting potion in one gulp. "So what does it do?"

"Helps your muscles relax and gives you a bit of energy," Angela prompted and made an impatient gesture at his raised eyebrows. "Yes, yes, I know that what you need the least is even more energy, but the effect of this only sets in after you've transformed back."

Well. This was the most neutral comment he had ever got about the night of a full moon. Even Madam Pomfrey, the ever-so-pragmatic Hogwarts Matron, hadn't been able to keep that note of concern out of her voice. Snape, on the other hand, upon providing the Potion once a month, had looked as if he were wishing it would poison him by some lucky chance.

"Now." Angela was hardly giving him time to reminisce. "I don't know what type of person you are, but we have a few very different characters down there, and I've spent two years studying them. I'm assuming you belong to those who don't give themselves any rest on the day before a full moon." She frowned a little at the smile that confirmed her assumption.

"Thought so. Well, I'll have you know that I don't allow my patients to do anything that could hurt them, just because they're too proud or too stubborn. You WILL rest. Period. No-one's expecting you to mark homework or prepare your lessons, so just relax and do as little as you can today, all right?" She frowned again and added quietly, "You'll need all of your strength for tonight."

When Angela had gone, Remus went to sit down on his small balcony, wrapping himself in his cloak in the chilly morning breeze. Breakfast was still over an hour away.

He would need all of his strength for tonight, she had said. As if he didn't know that already. Why was she treating him like one of the children? He was a bit more experienced than that, after all; even though sometimes he thought he was still eleven years old. For example in completely new situations like these - so perhaps her treatment of him was not so inappropriate.

He had spent all of the last two weeks trying to avoid the questions that were threatening to enter his mind, or imagining tonight - so instead, the most horrible images had haunted his dreams. He shook his head at himself. Why ever couldn't he manage to handle this subject rationally, as he did everything else?

He smiled wryly, catching himself imagining Sirius' expression once more. Somehow, the presence of him had always been there, even during those twelve years. But all too often a smiling Sirius in his head had been followed by a mental image of him laughing insanely amidst the ruins of that London street, and he had made every effort never to think of him again.

Remus sighed and forced himself to pick up quill and parchment, and sat down to compose a reply. He felt a stab of annoyance again, looking at Sirius' letter, but shook his head at once. He was being silly, as usual, turning his fear of the full moon into anger about anyone mentioning it. But he supposed it was getting better... he didn't think that he would ever be able to talk about it easily, but it helped to know that he had a very concerned friend out there.

Dear Sirius,
You are perfectly right, as happens every now and then.
I don't like talking about it. But I will make an exception
for an old, very annoying friend, merely because I know
that he won't shut up until I do so.
I talked to Charlotte a while ago. The children have been
transforming together for some time, in a secured space
outside that is protected by invisible walls. I've had a look
at them, they're solid. We have a very good Charmer
from Salem by the name of Teri Longbottom - interesting,
no? But I can see you frowning at me, telling me I should
cut my tactics of distraction. Well, all right.
Apparently, the children have formed a pack. The other
teachers are able to survey the area during the night, so
they have been studying their behaviour for a long time;
they have confirmed that even though (as I mentioned
in my previous letter) there is no Wolfsbane Potion, the
children do not attack each other and even succeed in
calming each other down.
Of course, you are already guessing it: New members of
the pack take a bit of time to get used to this... Charlotte
assures me that nothing will happen to them and that this
is the best way, but Sirius, I am bloody scared. I've never
been together with anyone but you three, and you
remember how long it took for us...

Remus had been scribbling furiously, without looking up once, almost without thinking. That was clearly visible, he thought rereading the letter, and pursed his lips. He disliked emotional letters, but then... why not say exactly what he thought for once? He flinched, scanning through it again, but added a few words and stuffed the letter into an envelope without further ado.

"A bit of female spirit will do you all good," a very amused voice suddenly said in his mind, and Remus snorted. Lily would despair, he knew it, at seeing him so completely unable to just tell his best friend that he was scared. Women always seemed to find it so easy to talk - about anything.

Having sent off the letter, he got dressed and went down to breakfast. He was early; only half of the children were already there. He flinched at the sight of them - some of them looked dreadful. Olivier Mbomo looked as if he hadn't slept much, and his normally dark skin had a sickly shade of grey to it; Leonid Dimitroff, who always had a snuffly nose, was coughing and sneezing; and Tinh Shanyong, the tiny boy from Vietnam, entered the hall supported by the helping arms of Jorge Guerrera and Gabriel Hernández.

It felt strange, seeing them so weak. Remus didn't feel any better, and he didn't suppose he looked any better than they did; but long years of practise had helped him act normal, disguise the effects of the full moon on him. How often he had wished to just stay in bed those mornings! James, Sirius and Peter would gladly have brought him everything they could carry from breakfast; but he had dragged himself down every time so as not to raise any suspicion. Madam Pomfrey had shaken her head, and more than one teacher at the staff table had glanced at him frequently, some worried, some hoping for a sign of weakness that would betray him. He had learned to walk straight and tall despite all the weariness and uproar inside. He hadn't even realised how it had become second nature to him.

The children's glances at him were accordingly incredulous, and envious. He greeted them in a normal voice; some could only nod in response. Charlotte smiled at him, but her smile was rather more strained than normally, and her gaze rested on him for a while. He returned her smile, and knew that his own had looked just as normal as ever.

Remus was certainly far from possessing very good intuition, but the years had taught him to sense others' feelings quite clearly, especially when they were so close to his own. It was unsettling to see before him the very emotions that he felt, but that he didn't show. He was looking into almost two dozen mirrors: but they showed his very inside, and his inside scared him.

Yet -if he dared to go that far in his unprofessional analysis- there was something missing here: nobody appeared to be really frightened of what was coming. Uneasy, distressed, tired - yes, but not afraid. There was almost a sense of security here, one that he had not felt since... yes, since the days with Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs.

He took in a deep breath, lowering his head. He was all right, most of the time, but sometimes all the sadness just came back, very suddenly, very strongly. The memories were always strongest around the full moon; and normally, there would have been the dread of spending the night alone, without any control, without any security. This time, he wasn't going to be alone, but this was almost worse.

The day of the full moon always passed by very slowly, but it seemed interminable this time. It was quiet in the school; most children seemed to follow Angela's advice (or order?) of doing as little as possible. Remus had no idea how they did that. After about an hour of walking around the manor and studying the paintings -which, he found, didn't show Muggles after all, but extremely strict-looking and nearly unmoving wizards - he thought he might go crazy if he didn't do something productive. Well, there were still a few assignments to mark.

Another hour later, he felt much better, sitting by the window and correcting the small essays he had set for the younger ones; he was just trying to decipher Andrej Kolnikov's writing when there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he said without looking up, and only realised his mistake when the door opened.

"You know, I'm amazed at Angela's intuition," said Constance, standing by the door and looking at him with soft reproval. "She always knows what type of person she's dealing with. I suppose it comes with being a doctor."

Remus looked at her, down at his work, back up at her, and gave a rueful smile. "So you're the supervision committee?"

Constance leant back against the door and sighed. She always sounded a bit insecure when she spoke, as if she weren't sure that her opinion mattered. "If it were me, I'd let you do whatever you want, but... Angela'd give me hell if I let you work like that. She has a lot of experience with this."

She frowned at him for a moment. "But so do you, I imagine." Another pause, and then she said, as if coming to a decision, "You know what, just do whatever feels right. You've been handling yourself for years... I'll deal with Angela. She can become a bit overprotective. She treats me like her teenage sister most of the time," she added, grinning awkwardly.

Remus smiled back. "I think I know what you mean."

Constance left, and Remus marked a few more essays before putting his work aside. A walk would do him good now, he thought... the weariness in his limbs was getting stronger, but he couldn't lie down. He paced around the room for a while, and eventually decided on a book he had picked up in the library the other night and hadn't got round to reading yet.

He had meant to walk along the rose-bushes, but his steps took him almost naturally to a field just before the forest. His gaze wandered over the wide space, covered by grass, poppies and daisies, and he tried to imagine for a brief moment what it would be like running across it on four legs - but he shuddered, and pushed the image to the very back of his mind. He had never had so much as the smallest memory of a full moon without the Potion, at least not of those nights he had spent alone. There were distant, vague memories of those full moons with his friends, but they were more feelings, sounds and smells than anything definite.

He turned and walked back into the garden, looking for a comfortable and dry place to read, and finally decided on the shade under one of the palm-trees (imported from Florida for the sake of Joseph Joplin, charmed into growing in Cornwall climate). Approaching it, he almost collided with Nora Hartfield who had appeared from behind one of the bushes.

Both of them looked instantly at the book the other one was holding, and Nora gave a sort of half-smile. "Hippogriffs Hatch? Bit of light reading for the weekend?"

The moment the words were out, she looked alarmed at having spoken so sarcastically, and he reassured her quickly by smiling back. "Letters from Wendelin the Weird to her Lover? Assignment for History of Magic?"

Nora blushed, covering the title with her hands. "This one's a bit silly. I like reading letters, though, they give me a better view of who the person was instead of just reading a biography." She cleared her throat, looking even more uncomfortable, and Remus was sure she wondered why she was talking so much. "What about yours, then?" She pointed to his book. "Hippogriffs aren't considered Dark Creatures, are they?"

The way the word rolled from her tongue gave him a shiver. "No, but I've always found their behaviour an interesting cause of study. Besides, the Headmistress has suggested that I look into something else -" He stopped himself, unsure of whether he should break the news already, as they had really just played with the thought a few evenings before.

"Can you keep this to yourself for a while?" When she nodded, he continued, "Professor Merlot has suggested that I start a second subject. Care of Magical Creatures has never been taught at this school."

Nora's eyes lit up. "Oh, that would be great!" She checked herself, and gave her usual half-smile again. "I mean, I'm sure many people would be very interested in that." She frowned, a thought visibly crossing her mind. "But how would we pay for the Magical Creatures? And wouldn't most of them be frightened of us?"

This girl was definitely more mature than the others - and also much more direct. "We haven't planned the particulars at all yet. As for their reactions, I can say from my own experience that only some react badly to werewolves." I still have trouble saying that word, don't I? "Most of them behave like normal animals: only if you are frightened of them, they will sense it at once."

Nora nodded. They stood on the path for a moment, and Remus was thinking of walking back into the castle, when she suddenly burst out with: "Is it true about tonight?"

His heart started pounding very loudly, and he tightened his grip around the book. "What do you mean?"

She frowned up at him. "That you're spending the night with us. Jun said that Miss Merlot said so at breakfast - I was up in the dormitories helping Madam O'Connor with María." Constance had mentioned that young María Aciano had very low blood pressure and usually fainted at least twice on the day of the full moon.

"Yes, it is true." Nora nodded, and fell silent again. Remus was battling with himself whether or not to ask - his pride and his reluctance to talk forbade it, his curiosity and above all, his fright told him to. He groaned inwardly at himself. "Nora - can I ask you a few questions about it?" Finally, although it had come out much unsteadier than he would have wished.

She seemed to have waited for this question, and gestured into the direction of the palm-trees. "We could sit down if you want to..."

"Good idea." They sat, and Nora looked at him expectantly. He had no idea where to start. And he felt so very sheepish exposing his fears in front of a girl of seventeen... but some things had to be asked.

"Have you ever remembered anything?" Oh, good heavens, Remus, could it have been a less vague question for a starter?

But her look was distant, and he awaited her answer impatiently. "I never did before I came here. But there's something now... I don't exactly remember, but there's some feeling the next morning. Some feeling of, well, having been with others I knew and trusted." She frowned. "Sorry, that doesn't make any sense..."

"It does, actually." She had no idea how much sense it made. It was an exact description of his last years at Hogwarts. The thought relieved him to some extent.

"Er... do you have any idea what happens during the night... what you do?"

Nora shrugged. "Well, the teachers have told us what they can see. They supervise us, you know... we have wood and plants and other things to play with, and it seems we also play with each other."

Remus contemplated her tone. She was so... detached, as if she were talking about something she had been reading about. A thought suddenly struck him, and he bent forward. "Is it a real... pack? Are there Alphas?"

She looked embarrassed, suddenly, and he wondered whether he had crossed the line. He himself felt more than uneasy talking about it. But -

"There is one Alpha," she said, and looked up at him, biting her lip. "It's me, apparently."

He raised his eyebrows. "I see." And, with a slight smile, he added, "That fits."

Nora blushed again, this time more strongly.

~~~

Reluctantly, Remus turned to the last page of Hippogriffs Hatch. Why couldn't the book have been longer than four hundred and thirteen pages? Not that it was very well written -in fact, it was quite superficial and very badly researched- but he didn't care much about that right now. The end of the book meant the end of his excuse to stay outside.

He sighed, put down the book and looked up into the sky. The sun would be setting in about two hours, he estimated - no, he knew -, and at the thought, all his feelings of dread and anxiety came back full force. He supposed he should go inside, but, well, another few minutes couldn't hurt.

Nora was the Alpha wolf. Good heavens, he didn't even want to think about the implications of it. What would he behave like, when introduced to the pack as a newcomer? He was much older than them, after all... he only had a few vague ideas about lupine behaviour in general (he had never cared to do much research about it), but there was probably no doubt that he would challenge the Alpha sooner or later, and then what if he hurt her?

And what if...

Remus stared at his book, then stood up abruptly. He had to get inside at once and tell Charlotte that he was transforming alone. There was no way he would run the danger of THAT happening.

He had only been at the school for two weeks, so he supposed he couldn't really judge, but the manor did seem quieter than usual. He heard no loud footsteps, no shouting and no laughter; but he was almost glad about it, as the contrary would probably have unsettled him.

Charlotte was not in the teachers' common room, nor was his knock at her door answered. He sighed, knowing he would have to look for her in the Common Room. For the umpteenth time that day, he shook his head at himself and descended the stairs to the second storey. It seemed part of their routine to sit together during the afternoon, and Charlotte had recommended to join them as early as possible that day. But he had tried to shirk around it...

Stopping in front of the door to the Common Room and listening, he could hear quiet talk, the rustling of papers, a bit of music - and there, had that been a blast from Exploding Snap?

Gathering all his courage, he opened the door. They were all there, sitting together in large groups, some of them playing cards, some of them lying down on the sofas. All of them fell silent when he entered the room.

"Good afternoon," he said with as much ease as he could muster, and spotted Charlotte at that moment. She was surrounded by a whole crowd of children. Tinh Shanyong was even half leaning against her, and on her other side sat Aimée Martin, whose hair she was doing up into braids.

The Headmistress was obviously pleased to see him, he noted, and the other children looked at him eagerly as well, some of them returning his greeting.

"Do you want to sit down, Professor?" Felix Rosenstrauch offered, and gestured to a chair beside him. His voice sounded slightly less energetic than in the morning, but he hadn't lost his smile.

Remus smiled back, and took the offered seat, still feeling all eyes on him. Oh, dear. Suppose this is not the right moment to ask Charlotte for a private conversation.

"I've been outside reading," he said, feeling that he had to justify his long absence.

"Yes, Nora told us that." Felix's German accent was more pronounced than ever, and his grammar, as was the case with many of the foreign students, was uneven. "She said you prepare for a new subject...?" He smirked, and Charlotte gave a small laugh.

"You can see that nothing stays a secret for long in here, Professor Lupin!" she said, and some of the children laughed, while also eagerly studying his reaction. He continued smiling his even smile.

"Yes, I see. I will try and hold my tongue, then, whenever I catch anything indecent."

There was louder laughter, and some of the looks he caught were full of surprise. Well, he was used to it. Most people didn't expect a sense of humour from him.

"Will you do Care of Magical Creatures then, Professor?" asked Karolka Wyszinski, who was sitting close to Charlotte with her usual group of girls. Karolka usually took the initiative when anything was begging to be asked, and a few of the children sent thankful glances into her direction.

"I don't know yet," he replied. "I for my part would like doing it very much - I'm sure I can still learn a lot." He cast a short glance at Charlotte. "It depends on... other things."

"Money, you mean." Jorge Guerrera's voice sounded more bitter and aggressive than ever. "It's not very probable that they will give us even more money now, they don't even think we deserve the money we get..."

"Jorge," Gabriel Hernández and Gómez said at the same time, and Jorge quickly replied something in Spanish, in an equally aggressive tone. Every person in the room seemed to know exactly what he had been talking about, though, and behind Gómez' back, María Aciano nodded. Remus wondered whether he had ever met an eleven year old girl who was so experienced in financial matters.

He would have to inquire about the exact situation later - all he had heard until now were allusions and vague comments. Not that he had hoped for anything before he had come here; after his experiences with the Werewolf Registry, he was actually surprised how much support the school did seem to obtain.

They talked about Magical Creatures and various other subjects for a while; the conversation was so pleasant that although his increasing exhaustion and uneasiness made it impossible to forget what was coming, the stress of it was at least eased - and that was already a huge achievement. When he finally glanced out of the window, he realised that moonrise must be less than an hour away. Gómez had followed his glance and nodded at him.

"We had better get going," he said, and his remark was followed by a general murmur of agreement. Not happy or willing agreement, but no-one complained. They stood up, helped those who were having troubles keeping their balance, and slowly walked out of the Common Room and downstairs. Charlotte was supporting Tinh Shanyong, and Remus had almost given up all hope of talking to her when Felix Rosenstrauch and Leonid Dimitroff came to his rescue and helped Tinh down the stairs. The other teachers and Angela followed, leaving Charlotte and Remus alone.

She looked round the room, as if to see whether anyone had been forgotten, and finally turned to him, with an earnest expression on her face. "You'll be all right. It will take a while before you get used to each other, no point denying that, but if anything happens we intervene."

He frowned. "How so?"

"Another stroke of genius from Teri's side - a combination of Impedimenta, Stupefy and various other spells which we can use from up here to restrain each of them. The strongest version of a Stunning Curse, for example, is just enough to make a werewolf a bit dizzy."

"I see." Remus bit his lip, then suddenly wondered when he had done that the last time. As a teenage boy, probably... "Have you ever had to intervene because of... er... other things as well?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Other things?"

Well, yes, obviously you need to make yourself clearer. "I talked to Nora earlier, as you know, and she told me that she's the Alpha wolf in the pack." How entirely weird - two weeks ago he would still have danced around the words, but now avoiding them at all costs seemed rather pointless. "Well, I'm not an expert concerning the behaviour of wolves, but..." Oh goodness, get it over and done with!

"Well, I've been wondering whether one of the male students ever aspired to the position of an Alpha wolf. Next to Nora." There. If she doesn't understand that, I'll have a problem...

Fortunately, Charlotte seemed to understand at once what he meant. Her tone was very slightly amused when she said, "You're asking about the sexual behaviour of the wolves?"

Remus could only nod.

"Well, we don't allow that to happen. The older students can indulge in whatever activities they feel are necessary, as long as they're successful in hiding them from us... but not during the full moon." She looked at him shrewdly. "You've been worrying you would get into an embarrassing situation with Nora?"

"It is entirely possible." He blushed. He hated blushing.

"I agree - but don't worry, we'll take care of it."

Well - that meant he had no excuse not to go down now. They started walking slowly downstairs. "Is everyone already going outside?"

"Oh, no. Everyone's transforming separately in small rooms in the cellar, we think that's a better idea psychologically; while these children share everything, it might still be better to keep certain things to themselves. Their naked bodies are among these things."

Remus smiled, in a mixture of amusement and relief. He could not believe he hadn't thought as far as this until now. "Yes, that's a good idea. How do they... we... get back into those rooms?"

"Well, there's an interesting question," she said. "At the beginning, we used to lead them each back to their rooms separately with a modified form of Accio. But as it is, almost all of them now go back on their own. It's become routine."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I see. You will have to use that charm on me, though."

She nodded. "Yes, Teri's prepared."

It seemed that everything was. Charlotte showed him the way down to his room; it was in a long row of rooms that were all connected to one large corridor - which, as Charlotte had explained, led to an open door at the end, through which they would exit and be led directly to the field.

The room had obviously been a dungeon once - unsettling thought that there were so many of them under this pleasant manor house - but every effort had been taken to make it at least clean and dry. It was empty bar one small wardrobe that seemed very stable. He undressed quickly and locked his clothes in it, feeling that it was high time.

The first thing he always felt was a tickling sensation all over his body, which slowly became stronger. It wasn't exactly painful, but uncomfortable, especially since it announced the next steps: every muscle in his body contracting - his skin tensing until it felt as though it would tear - his hearing becoming over-sensitive -

He stopped pacing around the room -a habit he had acquired long ago, which somehow made the pain more bearable until it was no longer possible to stand up- and stepped closer to the door. Even though he had known they were there, the sounds he could hear still came as a surprise to him. Soft moaning could be heard to his left and right, and something in him which had nothing to do with the transformation contracted.

To hear someone else experiencing exactly the same things... to feel other people so close to him... it was reassuring and frightening at the same time.

His sense of smell was increasing along with his hearing, and as he finally fell down on all fours, and a small groan escaped him, he opened up to the unusual, yet so familiar smell all around him. It was incredibly intense, and evoked instinctive reactions that he hadn't felt for a long time. The aggression that was building up inside him was increased by it, and he panicked at the realisation, but there was also a sense of... natural belonging. That was what it felt like, was his last coherent thought.

~~~

It was unusually warm when he woke up. Hot panic shot through him, panic that he would find himself outside, that everything had gone wrong. But there was hard stone under him, he realised coming more to his senses, and he finally dared open his eyes. He was back in the room, lying on the floor. He was overwhelmed with relief, and They must have kept the rooms warm during the night, was his first, rather irrelevant thought.

He heaved himself upwards. There was a throbbing pain in his arm, and he winced, looking down at an open wound. His head was also hammering painfully, scratches covered his body, and a muscle in his leg seemed torn - but apart from the usual exhaustion, that was about the only damage he could find. Compared to previous nights, this was nothing.

He limped to the wardrobe and got dressed as quickly as he could, his heart suddenly pounding stronger than his head. If he was relatively unharmed, did that mean he had been the winner in some fight? Then who had lost? He ran more than walked out of the room, anticipating the worst, and bumped into Nora, who had been in the room opposite his.

She looked as dreadful as he felt, and she too was limping. Remus gritted his teeth, looking at her anxiously, but she smiled at him weakly.

"Well, at least I gave you hell, too," she muttered, and he stared at her.

"Do you remember anything? Is anyone else hurt?"

She shrugged, leaning back against the wall. "I don't remember, but I think I would know if anyone was badly hurt."

A door to their right opened and Angela emerged, María Aciano leaning against her. Within seconds, other doors opened and students stumbled out, and the other teachers came hurrying downstairs. Charlotte approached Remus and Nora, who were both still leaning against the wall.

"Come on, we'd better get the two of you upstairs."

"Charlotte," his voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat. "Is anyone else hurt? What happened?" He wanted to ask more questions, but his voice seemed to fail him, and Charlotte silenced him with a wave of her hand.

"Don't worry, everyone's fine. Come on."

They dragged themselves upstairs and into the hospital wing, where half of the beds were already occupied. Remus' heart sank at the sight of Olivier Mbomo, who had a nasty gash across his cheek and seemed to have a broken arm. However, the boy's eyes lit up at the sight of Nora, and he seemed very relieved.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his voice as hoarse as Remus'. Nora nodded, and Olivier sank back into his pillow.

The rest of the children had soon arrived in the hospital wing, and the other teachers were hurrying back and forth between the beds. Angela seemed to have taught them basic healing and cleaning spells, which a rational voice inside of Remus immediately judged as very sensible; but his irrational anxiety soon became stronger again.

"What happened?" he repeated in a low voice, as Charlotte came to his bed. "Why is nearly everyone hurt? Did I...?"

She shook her head, and he realised for the first time how exhausted she looked. She probably hadn't slept all night. "If you absolutely need to know, you got into a bit of a fight with Nora, and Olivier came to defend her." She grinned suddenly and winked, and Remus shot a quick glance at Olivier's bed. The boy seemed to have overheard everything, and the faintest tinge of red was now mingling with the ashen grey colour of his face. Nora looked impassive.

"As for the others," Charlotte continued, and started cleaning the wound on his arm, "those scratches and small wounds are normal. As I'm sure you know, a wolf's definition of 'playing' is a bit more violent than a human's."

When Charlotte had moved on to Jorge Guerrera's bed next to his, he looked around, taking everything in: The children's looks, the teachers' concerned, yet silent and efficient care for them, and the children's gazes at him.

From a far corner of the room, Rachel Fitzgerald and Anne-Laure Dauphin smiled at him weakly, and he suddenly realised how much he had been expecting them to look frightened, or reproachful. But they had been through all of this themselves, and they knew what he felt. They were like him. He was so little used to this that the realisation, trivial in itself, struck him with the force of an Expelliarmus.

Remus finally sank back into his pillows, the last tension leaving him. He felt guilty for having hurt Nora and Olivier, although he knew it was irrational; but it could have been so much worse.

They moved upstairs to the Common Room later, and the day consisted of nothing but sleeping, eating and quiet talk. Remus had more than one student asking him how he felt, and strange though it was to him, it was also reassuring and... pleasant. Even though it might just be because they were alike, he felt that everyone genuinely cared about everyone else - and that that, since the previous night, included him.

Almost as though it had been a dream, vague memories of the night surfaced later during the day - or rather than memories, there was a sense that he had been able to run free, and that he had been with companions. When he returned to his room that evening and found a letter on his bed, he dropped on the cushions with a weary smile. Picking up the letter, he stared at it for a long time before opening it, the memories of the night before mingling with memories from the past.

***