When the Darkness Broke In

Chapter ~ XI:ii

What it is to Burn

"Seems our wax wings have melted away..." Billy Talent

Draco didn't take long to notice that something was up with Sirius Black the next day. He wasn't being surly or impatient and he was smiling. Continuously.

"Alright, I've had enough, just tell me," he sighed, when he had, quite literally had enough. There was only so much out of character behaviour he could take from some people. He didn't trust sudden fluffy-clouds-and-flowers behaviour from convicts with tempers like doxies on amphetamines.

"Tell you what?" Black asked, obviously trying to repress a rather shark-like grin.

"What you're so happy about. But if it's that you had your wicked way with Lupin I don't need the nitty gritty, alright?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You look like one of those dreadful Cheshire cats. It's a pity you won't disappear, too, really."

"I don't look like a fucking cat! I hate cats!" Black laughed, giving him a shove which was probably intended to be amiable, but nearly knocked him off of his feet. "Well, except Crookshanks. He's alright..."

Draco stared at him, unamused. "So, are you planning to tell me or will I be forced to endure your dozy grinning all day?"

Black smirked, and looked around, even though they were alone in the room and had been for an hour, "Well," he began, "it's just that it looks like we're actually getting back together."

Draco had to repress a grin of his own at the man's obvious excitement. He was extremely jittery and seemed to want to squeal and jump up and down, barely managing to keep himself in check.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks. I'm really pleased, y'know?"

"I did suspect so."

"It's been such a fucking long time... It's just bloody fucking brilliant. Fucking brilliant."

"I honestly don't care how much 'fucking' was involved, Black. I may just vomit if I learn, too."

Black blinked at him for a moment before replying, "Oh! No, no - not literally! Nah, nah, it was nothing like that." He gave a distant smile and blinked a few more times.

"Well, if you aren't likely to destroy my innocent sensibilities with your rampant sexual exploits - which is all too close to bestiality for my liking - you can elaborate. Provided there is no suggestion of sex. You're meant to be my teacher for pity's sake! How do you expect me to respect you once I've been forced to imagine you naked?"

"You'd better not imagine me naked, Malfoy."

"Oh I promise with my entirely black little heart not to. Really. I should have to kill myself."

Black flapped at him, vaguely, muttering, "Don't do that either. It'd piss of my godson."

"I'm not so sure about that, actually," Draco replied, not allowing his disappointment of the past week to show. "He doesn't seem to have much time for me at the moment."

"What d'ya mean?" Black asked, settling onto a table. It seemed he had something of an aversion to chairs.

"The only time I see him is our scheduled meeting. He's far too busy with the fat Welsh baboon to bother with me at the moment, that much is patently obvious."

"Yeah, I see what you're saying. Between you and me, mate, I think he's got pretty shitty taste."

Draco stared at him through half-narrowed eyes. "No, I mean, who would want to be involved with a tall, dark, sports prodigy?"

"Lily Evans, weirdly."

"And perhaps Remus Lupin?"

"What?" Black asked, looking slightly stupid. "Oh. Fuck. Well, when you put it like that, I suppose his taste isn't too bad really."

"You're an arrogant git at times, you know."

Black gave him another broad, toothy grin, "I have every reason to be."

"Hm. I wish I could say as much for myself."

"Well, we can't all be perfect."

"Obviously."

Black stopped grinning and gazed at him for a moment, before asking, "What's the matter with you, mate?"

"Oh, you know, life, the Universe, your godson. The same as usual."

"What's he done now?"

"Nothing. Particularly not around me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's either avoiding me since he tried..." Draco cut himself short, quickly. "He's either avoiding me or he's being told to not to hang around me with me as much."

"Not by us, he hasn't!" Black said quickly and starting to frown. "Why would he avoid you, anyway?"

"Because he's stupid prat who doesn't learn from his mistakes."

"Has he been acting up again?" Black asked with a huff, "We fucking told him he can't keep acting like that."

"Well, since I stayed at your cottage he hasn't been acting at all. I've only seen him once and we can't speak in lessons. I can't face sitting in that stupid room for another evening just hoping he'll grace me with his presence." He blushed, hoping he hadn't actually said that out loud.

"You haven't been fucking waiting for him?" Black demanded in exasperation.

"As mortifying as it is, yes. I don't have any other option. If I want to speak to him I have to wait for him," Draco explained stiffly.

"And you're really that desperate to see him?"

"Not desperate, thank you very much, just keen."

"Really?"

"Are you trying to suggest otherwise?"

"Absolutely."

"Well what do you expect? I'm used to seeing him virtually every day!" Draco snapped. "He tried to kiss me again and now he can't stay far enough away! I just really wish he'd grow up."

"Or maybe we should all act more like kids and then we might avoid all the fucking stress of 'grown up relationships', eh?"

"It's easy for you to say - you've got what you want; you're happy. I'm stuck in purgatory."

"Ah yeah, but by its very nature purgatory is only temporary, isn't it? You'll get to the big fluffy cloud eventually."

"Do I look like a Catholic to you?"

"And there's me thinking you were part of the choir..."

"Stop it. My misery is not amusing."

Black stopped grinning and gave a sigh. "So, what do you want me to do about it?"

"You could let me bake Cross and claim it was an accident..."

"No."

"Oh, go on."

"No."

"Then... I don't know. I don't suppose there is anything you can do. I'll just have to carry on waiting for the stupid git to come and find me. I'm starting to hate that room, you know. I spend so much time there it's like a prison cell."

"Less of the prison analogies, kid."

"Well it's true! I'm stuck there trapped by my own stupidity. And yet I still do it! Every evening, all weekend... I'm becoming supremely pathetic."

"Yeah, you kind of need to get your life sorted out, mate. I know he's my godson and I love him to death, but are you sure Harry's worth all this misery?"

"Unfortunately, yes. But it isn't like I have any choice in the matter. Or anyone to talk about it to."

"You can talk to me and Re, can't you?"

"That also appears to be something I have no choice about."

"Look, you can come over to the cottage any time you want. Remus is nearly always there and if I'm not stuck in this stupid bloody classroom I usually am, too. Just don't fucking hole yourself up on your own waiting for him. It's no wonder you're depressed if that's how you spend your time."

"I do use the time to study, you know. I'm not completely stupid. Besides, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything, would I?" Draco added sarcastically.

"Trust me, at the moment the most exciting thing you're going to interrupt is one of Remus' complaints about the garden."

Draco grimaced and turned towards the window. "Maybe I will, provided you don't do anything disgusting like kiss in front of me. Are you sure?"

"Completely fucking sure. At the moment, anyway. Good things come to those who wait. So to speak."

~*~

Harry led Gavin around to the back of the cottage by the hand, and made for the kitchen door. He had finally decided that he was sick of having to spend his time in draughty classrooms and was going to make use of the fact his own home was now on school grounds and take his boyfriend back to visit. The intention had been to sit down with his godparents, maybe have some tea - generally show them that Gavin was a sweet and respectable boy, not a thuggish sex-fiend as both of them seemed to assume. Gavin had taken a considerable amount of persuading before he would willingly even set foot within fifty yards of the garden gate. He was, by this stage, becoming thoroughly terrified of Sirius.

He gave the older boy's hand a reassuring squeeze as he opened the back door and stepped in. As he looked up, though, Harry stopped dead in his tracks, causing Gavin to bump into him from behind. All three of the kitchen's occupants stopped talking and stared back. Draco sat at the table with Sirius and Remus, apparently enjoying a cream tea. He had smiled brightly as Harry had walked in, but his face had frozen as Gavin followed.

"Oh, hello, Harry," Remus smiled after a moment, "come in."

Harry tightened his grip on the older boy's hand as he tried to pull away and leave the cottage. "No, Gav, come in," he said, not sure what to make of the scene he was confronted with. He looked at his godparents and Draco and said, "Alright?" a little uncertainly.

The blond boy took a deep breath and muttered something Harry couldn't hear.

"Come on," Remus prompted, casting Draco an uncomfortable look, "have a seat, both of you." He stood up and smiled at Gavin, offering him his seat. Gavin blushed and began to edge into the kitchen hesitantly, as though he'd rather be running full-pelt in the other direction.

"No, don't worry about it," Harry said, pulling Gavin towards the living room instead, "we'll go upstairs. C'mon, Gav."

"You don't have to, you know, you could always stay here and join us," Remus urged, casting a glance at Sirius, who was eyeing Gavin with some suspicion.

"No," Harry insisted, backing into the living room and pulling Gavin with him, "we'll go upstairs."

They were followed by a chorus of three voices yelling, "LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN!"

Gavin stopped and stared back towards the kitchen looking utterly gobsmacked. Harry tugged him into the hall and up the stairs. "I can' believe th' cocky little bugger jus' told you what t' do in your own 'ome!"

"I can. Draco doesn't usually let technicalities like that stop him," Harry said, grinning.

"Why's 'e even 'ere?" Gavin asked, sounding a little sulky.

"I dunno. He, um... well, Sirius is giving him private tutorials so I suppose it's something to do with that."

"Malfoy's getting' private tutorials in th' Dark Arts?"

"I dunno," Harry lied, shrugging and pulling him into his bedroom, "and it's Defence, anyway..."

Gavin shut the door very firmly and deliberately behind them, giving Harry a devious grin.

"Remus will have heard that, you know," Harry warned him, pushing him bodily over to the bed.

"We can say it was the wind."

"I don't think anyone's going to believe that if they come up here and we're naked..."

Gavin gave a surprised chuckle and asked, "You plannin' t' get me naked, 'Arry?"

"Um..." Harry began, fighting a smile, "maybe half..."

~*~

Downstairs, Draco had rather gone off tea and scones. A tense silence hung in the room, Lupin was slowly rotating his teacup in its saucer and Black was picking grains of sugar out of the cracks in the wooden table top.

"He did that on purpose, didn't he?" the blond boy said suddenly.

"Draco-"

"He did, Lupin, he did that on purpose!"

The fair-haired man gave a small sigh and replied, "No, I don't think he meant anything by it. It was probably more to do with Gavin being clearly very uncomfortable."

"Well, I bet Harry's making sure he's really comfortable now."

"Oh come off it, kid! Harry's not stupid enough to do anything while we're in the room below, is he, Moony?"

"Well, they probably only shut the door because we told them not to - "

"They shut the door?"

"Yes."

Black scowled and leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest, glaring at the ceiling with intent.

"I hate Cross," Draco growled, stabbing his teaspoon into a half-eaten scone, which promptly erupted into flames.

"Draco, please don't burn my house down," Lupin said softly, pouring his tea onto the cake and successfully extinguishing it, "I'm really quite fond of the old place."

"I wasn't going to," Draco replied peevishly. "I just don't see why he had to do that! He's been ignoring me for days and it's all because of the Abominable Welshman! I wonder what Cross would say if he knew how friendly Harry can be when he's not around..."

"Would you really do that to him, Draco?" Lupin asked, casting him a stern look. "Harry is happy, would you really be selfish enough to take that away from him?"

Draco stared at the sodden remained of the scone. "I don't want him to be unhappy, I just don't see how he can be with... with that thing!"

"Draco," Lupin sighed, rubbing his brow, "maybe we're under-estimating Harry's judgement. Everyone makes mistakes - "

"Are you taking Cross' side?" Draco asked, looking betrayed, "I thought you hated him!"

"We don't hate the kid," Black said, "we may not like the little bastard, but we're biased. If Harry's decided he's alright who're we to fucking argue?"

"I thought you were on my side!"

"I, for one, am trying very hard not to take sides. Harry is growing up - and growing up faster than I realised. Sirius and I have missed out on almost his entire childhood; I know that I am not prepared to drive a wedge between us now."

"Hear-fucking-hear!"

"All we can do is help him as much as he asks us to; or as little."

"Don't you care that that fat idiot has already hurt him?"

"Of course we fucking care!"

"That is precisely why we're so concerned, but neither of us is going to tell Harry whom he can or cannot see. And I hardly think Gavin could be considered fat. Stocky, perhaps, but not fat."

"He's a fat, hairy letch."

"Draco, there is no need for that."

"Yes, there is! He doesn't care about Harry! Why will no one believe me?"

Lupin cast Black a glance before saying, "Draco, Gavin told Harry that he's in love with him. Whether it is true or whether he is merely deluding himself isn't for any of us to say."

For a few moments, Draco said nothing. Then, quietly, he asked, "Does Harry feel the same? Did he tell you?"

"No," Lupin said, with a faint smile, "Harry doesn't even know what it is to be in love, yet."

~*~

Directly upstairs, Harry and Gavin were wrapped around each other, kissing rather intently. Harry enjoyed kissing Gavin. Gavin didn't kiss teeth-first, for a start. He had soft lips, which he attributed to using Vaseline on them every time he flew. He said it was to stop them getting sore, but had actually gone to completely the other extreme and made them very soft instead. He did have a little stubble, as times, but he was over a year older than Harry, so it was hardly surprising (although Hermione had disapprovingly commented upon his stubble rash and told him that people would start noticing, soon).

Gavin was very gentle, very loving and very considerate, when it came to matters of the flesh. It was if he was sometimes too shy too press to take things further, meaning that Harry would quite often have to take the initiative or face blushing mumbles of "Is this okay?". Once he knew he wasn't going to cause Harry to run away screaming, though, he would be quite intense - such as when he had given Harry the now infamous love bite before Potions (not that anyone had made any accurate suggestions as to who gave him it) - and Harry actually quite liked it.

Everything that had happened between them so far had been over clothes (if you excluded a few occasions when hands had wandered under pyjama tops or when someone had had a raspberry blown against their bare stomach). It was really quite restrained of them, in Harry's opinion, but he wasn't afraid of moving on, now. He needed to explore his feelings and he wanted to explore his sexuality, too; judging by the fingers edging beneath the waistband of his trousers at the small of his back, he wasn't the only one.

Gavin suddenly gave a small grumble and shifted a little. "'Arry, d'you mind if we swap sides? It's jus' that' me arm's gone a bit numb..."

Harry grinned and gave him a peck on the lips, "'Course not."

Gavin gave him another kiss in return and began to edge over the top. He bent down to give him another, half-way over, and, entirely unbidden, an image sprang to Harry's mind, of Draco on the floor a few feet away, bathed in pale-blue moonlight and staring up at him with near-luminous eyes. He felt a twist of guilt in his stomach, knowing how close he had come to kissing him.

"Are you alrigh', love?" Gavin asked, propped up on one elbow beside him. He bowed to kiss him on the cheek and brushed his fringe out of his eyes.

"Um... yeah," Harry smiled back, catching the hand and stroking the knuckles. "I was just thinking."

"What abou'?" the Ravenclaw prompted softly, kissing his fingers.

Harry pulled his hand free, carefully, and lowered it to Gavin's belt buckle, eliciting a look of astonished anticipation from the older boy, and murmuring, "Can I?"

Gavin, never taking his stunned brown eyes from Harry's, dropped his newly free hand onto Harry's hip and tentatively ran it along the edge of his waistband. "Can I?" he echoed nervously.

Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss him, whispering, "I hoped you'd say that."

~*~

"Lupin," Draco asked, once Sirius had stood up and wandered into the back garden, "how did you cope?"

"Cope?" Lupin echoed, pouring himself some fresh tea. "You mean with Sirius?"

"You told me you knew how I felt, so how did you cope? It's not hard to surmise that Black was the sort of boy who was never short of admirers and made the most of the fact, so how did you convince him?"

Lupin stirred his tea anti-clockwise, gazing into it thoughtfully for a few moments, before setting his spoon down on his saucer and sighing, "Firstly, you're wrong about Sirius; secondly, Sirius didn't require convincing. He required a window of opportunity."

"Really?"

"Yes. He was certainly popular once he'd returned from the fourth-to-fifth-year summer holidays having put on some weight and ceased to look like a gangly twit. And he joined the Quidditch team, so naturally that helped. He did have a few brief... flirtations. No one lasted more than a few weeks because Sirius was far more concerned with sport, practical jokes and his freedom. Fire signs are like that."

"And guess who else is a fire sign..." Draco said flatly.

"Indeed," Lupin smiled, taking a sip of tea, "but they're very different people."

"Thankfully," Draco smirked, looking out of the window to where Black was expertly climbing a very large tree. "What on Earth is the idiot doing?"

"I haven't a clue," Lupin said, shaking his head as if he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"When you said that he needed a window of opportunity, what did you mean?"

Lupin gave another distant smile and said, "I didn't realise it at the time, but my years and years of pining after him were completely wasted. He was just too much of a stereotypical lad to know what he was doing, and when he did I think it was the first time Sirius Black was lost for words. He didn't know how to tell me, and I was certainly not about to tell him! Sirius had a confidence I never possessed and he couldn't bring himself to say anything, so it wasn't exactly surprising that I never could. Besides, we were best friends and neither of us would have been willing to jeopardise that."

"I thought James Potter was his best friend?"

"He was, in the broadest sense. They grew up together, they knew each other inside out - they even looked alike when I first met them - but when we grew older Sirius and I became much closer. We were all best friends - all four of us - but we each had different qualities that we needed from one another, to balance out our own traits. Sirius and I were the most extreme opposites, so I suppose we needed each other more than James and Peter needed us."

"So what happened between you? If you were so afraid of ruining all that, how did you--"

"Morals," Lupin said with a laugh. "Or should I say 'lack of'?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, I don't believe that the details are for your ears, but, essentially, it was Sirius being a typically selfish, hedonistic young man. He wanted something so he took it, making a complete mess of things on the way," Lupin smiled wistfully, looking out of the window to where Black was now crouched, more cat-like than dog-like, half-way up the tree. "He can be thoughtless, stupid and down-right insensitive, but he means well. He loves the people he loves and hates the people he hates. It can be hard to distinguish between the two, at times, and not hard to forget that he doesn't mean everything he says and does. You learn to live with it, and learn to forgive very quickly when you're around someone like Sirius."

"Hark! The voice of experience," Draco smirked. "It must be a nightmare for you, I suppose. Being Cancerian, I mean."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, I do know my astrology! Don't you have an over-riding urge to throw back everything back in his face, at times? Isn't that what you do? You're certainly very much a Cancerian in every other aspect of your life."

Lupin stared at him blankly for a several long moments, before finally saying, "I have my flaws. It isn't easy to forget things that had the potential to ruin your life."

"The time he told Professor Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack, you mean?"

"That too, yes," Lupin said looking away from him. "There were other things, but those are private."

"So if he made a mess of things what did you do to resolve it? You obviously didn't leave it like that..."

"Our friends forced us to make sense of everything. That's the beauty of having friends; sometimes they can see things more clearly than you can yourself."

Draco picked at the table cloth silently for a moment. Then, swallowing, he asked, "What do you do when the only friend you have is the one you're in love with?"

~*~

Strange things were happening to Harry as he lay on his bed with Gavin's hand down his trousers, and they weren't exactly what he had anticipated. His head was filled with thoughts that simply would not go away and which really were not conducive getting his rocks off. The fact that most of them involved Draco didn't unduly worry Harry, but mental images of the other boy laying on his bed, pale and motionless, balanced precariously on the edge of the tower wall, shoving him to the ground with his eyes full of sadness, yelling at him furiously, telling him emotionlessly that he couldn't be friends with him any more, his face falling as he caught sight of Gavin walking into the kitchen behind him... none of it made him want pleasure; it made him want to bang his head against a brick wall. Knowing that the other boy was sitting in the room below, just a few feet away, made it even worse.

There was life, Jim, but not that you'd know it.

"Gavin," Harry said, barely above a mumble, reaching with his own already redundant hand to still the other boy's still dutifully tending one, "you may as well stop... It's not working, is it?"

The Welsh boy looked him through his lashes and bit his lip. "Is it my fault?" he asked meekly, "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, don't be daft," Harry replied softly, "I think it's just because... y'know... there are people downstairs... I'm just a bit worried they'll walk in on us again or...I dunno - I just can't relax. But it's not you, okay? It's nothing to do with you, because I suggested it in the first place, didn't I?"

Gavin nodded, still looking concerned and reaching out to stroke Harry's face. "Would you tell us if it were me?"

"Yes," Harry told him more certainly than he believed, "because if it was you it'd mean we had things to talk about. But it's not."

"D'you promise?"

"I promise."

"'Kay," Gavin sighed, pulling him into a tight cuddle and kissing his forehead. "Nex' time we'll make sure no one's gonna walk in..."

"Yeah... and I'm... y'know... glad that you...did."

"I still feel guilty, though... I mean, wha' sorta boyfriend am I if I can' even distract you enough for somethin' like tha'?"

"Hey, I thought I just told you it's not your fault? If anyone should be feeling bad it's me - it's a bit of a let-down, isn't it. Well... it would be if it had ever been up in the first place..."

"No, 'cause I still... enjoyed it... but I would obviously've enjoyed it more if we'd both... Enjoyed it, like."

"Well, I didn't not enjoy it -"

"I know, I know, but... still..."

"Gavin?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you mind letting go for a minute so I can do my trousers up? If Sirius storms in again now it will all have been pointless because he'll castrate the pair of us..."

Gavin let go rather quickly and sat up. For a few moments he just sat there, rubbing circles in his palm with his thumb. Then, very quietly he said, "'Arry, don't shout at me for sayin' this, but... I... I meant wha' I said the other day." He glanced up at him, blushing, and continued, "I really do love you, an' I don' mind if I 'ave t' wait fer you t' work out 'ow you feel an everythin'... jus'..." he swallowed and stared even more intently at his hands, "jus' promise me tha' when you know you really will say. You will, won' you?"

Harry crawled over to him and made him stretch his legs out in front of himself so he could kneel over his lap. "Gavin," he said, holding his face very firmly between his hands and staring into his round, doleful eyes, "I promise you that the moment I know I'll tell you. And I'm a Gryffindor - we keep promises. Well... most of us do... And I won't shout at you for telling me how you feel, okay? I wasn't even annoyed about that the first time, it was just you not believing me-" any more than I believe myself "-when I say I don't fancy Draco."

Gavin carefully moved his hands and clasped them in their laps, before leaning in and kissing him gently. "In tha' case," he whispered, "I love you; an' I'll wait until the cows come 'ome fer you t'say it back."

~*~

In the kitchen, Draco had been giving Lupin a running commentary on what Black was doing up the tree. Lupin was making what smelled like undrinkably strong coffee.

"I'm going to ask him, you know," the blond boy said, absently, as Black shimmied along the branch, "because he ran out of here like a man possessed - which he probably is, knowing Sirius."

Lupin made a vague noise of assent before turning and quickly saying, "No! No, Draco, I wouldn't do that."

"Why no- ? Dear God, he has just fallen out of the damn tree!" Draco launched himself to his feet in alarm.

"Hmph. Well he knew what he was doing up there. It was inevitable - don't worry about him. He bounces, anyway."

"What? Bounces? I thought only Longbottom bounced!"

"You'd be amazed at the things Sirius can do..."

"That's disgusting, Lupin. I thought you were more refined than that."

"I beg y-"

He was cut short as Black flung open the kitchen door, looking part stricken, part incensed. "Moony! Th-"

"I know, Sirius."

"No, they're-!"

"I KNOW, Sirius."

Draco narrowed his eyes and scowled at them, "They're what?"

Both men turned red and refused to look at him, Lupin keeping his coffee as close to his face as was possible without shoving his nose in it.

"Oh my God..." he whispered, looking at them in disbelief. "Are they...?"

No one answered.

"They've been - been...? With us down here? But they - "

Lupin finally shook his head with a sigh, "No. They didn't actually have sex."

"Certainly wasn't fucking chess, though."

There was a faint but distinct smell of burning in the room, but the only the fire remained in the grate and barely gave a flicker.

Draco swallowed repeatedly and slowly sank down into his chair, resting both elbows on the table and placing his head in his hands. He didn't see the look of regret from Black or the look of heartfelt sympathy from Lupin; all he could see were mental images he wanted nothing to do with.

It was maybe a quarter of an hour later that the three occupants of the kitchen heard the sound of feet descending the staircase. Unanimously, they tensed - albeit for very different reasons - and waited for the two boys to walk into the room. Harry looked no more dishevelled than usual; Cross looked as though he had made a concerted effort to be tidy, and was blushing furiously.

"Are you alright?" Lupin smiled, now clutching his second coffee in white-knuckled hands.

"Er... yeah, fine..." Harry shrugged, over-nonchalantly.

"What are you up to now? Would you like to stay for dinner? I'll begin, soon."

"Um... no, Gavin's going back to the school... he's got homework to do."

"Oh, well, perhaps another time?" Lupin said, as both Black and Draco wore matching looks of 'Over My Dead Body!'

"Thanks..." the Welsh boy mumbled. "I, um... Ancient Runes stuff t'do, y'know?"

"Don't let us keep you," Draco said coldly.

Cross looked at him nervously, and if it were possible, turned even redder. "Um...I'm gonna go," he said to Harry, barely above a whisper, "I'll speak t' you later..."

Harry nodded and reached up to kiss him goodbye. He gave him a faint smile, and met no one else's eye as he hurried out of the back door.

For a few moments there was a deathly silence in the room. Everyone seemed to expect Harry to fly off the handle, and Harry couldn't help but wonder if the whole incident had been orchestrated. He dismissed this as ridiculous and sat down at the spare seat at the table. Still, no one spoke.

"So what were you planning on making for tea, Moony?" Harry asked, lightly. "I'm quite hungry, really..."

"Been working up an appetite?" Draco spat, sitting with his arms folded across his chest and fixing Harry with one of his iciest glares.

Harry blushed and stammered, "W-what?"

"What do you take us for, idiots? We know what you and the cradle-snatching sheep fancier were up to, Harry, so there's no point in denying it."

Harry's face was burning up with embarrassment, by this time. "W-wh--w-we..."

"Harry, I thought you and I spoke about this," Remus said in the sad, disappointed tone that always made Harry feel like he'd just murdered a sack full of cute fluffy kittens.

"We didn't sleep together!"

"You say that as if it really makes any difference," Draco sneered, looking at him through the same hateful eyes that Harry had been used to seeing this time a year earlier - and for all of his school-time prior to that. "You're still whoring yourself, either way."

"Draco, calm down," Remus said sternly, looking to Sirius for support he clearly wasn't going to receive.

"How am I whoring myself?" Harry demanded, his temper rising rapidly. "Gavin is my boyfriend, Draco! I am doing nothing wrong! For God's sake! I'm sorry, I know it gets to you, but this is my home! I am not answerable to you here, okay?"

Draco got to his feet so quickly his chair fell over. "You're disgusting," he spat, looking him up and down like he was the cheapest, nastiest piece of work he'd ever come across. "You let him do whatever he wants to you and complain when I call you a whore - "

"For your information, it was my idea! I wanted to take things further! I was the one who got sick of fumbling around in cold classrooms in the middle of the night and wanted to bring my boyfriend home to see my family but had it ruined because you were so rude he was scared to be in the same room as you! Are you happy, now? None of that would have happened if you could just for once swallow your bloody pride and try to be civil to him, Draco!"

"How can I be civil to something that barely even speaks the English language?"

"For a start he was brought up speaking Welsh, you sarcastic bastard, and secondly, slagging people off doesn't make you seem clever, Draco, it makes you seem like a spoilt little brat, just like you used to be!"

"Boys, stop it. I meant it, stop this ridiculous bickering right now - "

"Remus, stay out of it. I love you loads, but stay out of this because I am sick of Draco trying to ruin things for me just because he can't have what he wants!" Harry said, gritting his teeth so as not to shout at him.

"I'm trying to make you see what he's like, Harry! Why wo-"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?" Harry yelled. "How would you fucking know when you've never even spoken a civil word to him in your life? All you ever do is slag him off and put him down and when you see him you make him feel like he's a piece of shit!"

"Harry, stop swearing. I'm serious. Stop swearing or I'll have to - "

"What? Stop my pocket money? Send me to bed without any supper? For God' sake! You're the only one who can bring yourself to be polite to him, Moony, why can't you try and see it from my point of view?"

"Don't fucking start on him, Harry, Remus has done a fucking lot for you."

"I know, and I appreciate it, but I don't appreciate you taking Draco's side over mine!"

"We're not taking anyone's side..."

"Well maybe you should be! Maybe you should be taking mine for a change and telling him to keep his bloody nose out!"

"Friends look after each other, don't they?" Draco asked icily.

"Not in your case. You look after yourself and don't give a toss who you hurt in the meantime!"

Draco scooped up his teacup and saucer and threw it at Harry as hard as he could, spilling warm tea all over him and shattering the crockery on the floor. "It is at times like this that I thoroughly despise you, Potter. I'm so selfish I gave up my family, my life and my social status for you - to make sure you have a life to keep living. Brand me with the Dark Mark right now, why don't you - I'm obviously that evil."

Remus gave a sigh and silently set about clearing up the mess, only to be stopped by Sirius, who advised him to wait unless there was more to come.

"You were going to die anyway. You only came to me because you had no one else who would believe you after the way you've spent your life ruining other people's!"

"At least I know what I WANT from my life!" Draco yelled back at him, his fists clenched at his sides. "At least I KNOW that I'm in love and who I'm in love with! At least I can tell what love is, Harry - and from what I hear you're having problems in that area, aren't you? I wonder what Cross would say to find out that the boyfriend who doesn't love him keeps on trying to kiss the 'spoilt brat' he's so scared of!"

Remus looked ready to jump between them if fists started flying, but he didn't need to. Harry stood stone still and stared at the other boy in shock.

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Slytherin, you fool! Of course I'd dare!"

"You wicked, petty, mean little bastard!"

"Why don't you add selfish, inconsiderate, deceitful...? At least we'd have something in common, then!"

"How can you call me that? I've been your friend ever since I found out about your father and Voldemort! You've been a bastard to me for as long as I've known you and as soon as you decide to tell me that everything is fine and you want to be friends I have to drop everything! And I did! I put it all behind me and tried to bloody hard to be your mate, but this I am not giving up. No way. Not even for you."

"HE-IS-USING-YOU!"

"IF THIS WAS ABOUT QUIDDITCH HE WOULD HAVE DUMPED ME AGES AGO, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Harry bellowed. "Or is he using me for something else, now? Is that it, eh? So what is it now, Draco? What do you think he's using me for now?"

Draco shook his head in disgusted disbelief and sneered, "What do you think?"

"I think you're sick, that's what I think. And you really don't listen, do you? I told you that I was the one who wanted it, not Gavin, and do you know what? I felt so bad about you being down here and knowing how you feel that I couldn't even enjoy it! So do you know what I did -? "

"Harry - " Remus began warningly, half-covering his face with his hand while Sirius clamped both hands over his ears and hummed loudly.

"- I made sure he came, even though I didn't!"

Sirius hummed even louder.

Draco shook his head at him disdainfully, "So he can't even do his job properly..."

"Well having images of you running through my mind was pretty effective as turning me right off."

"Harry, for goodness sake, please stop!"

"Don't worry about it, I'm leaving," Draco said, backing away towards the door. He stared at Harry for a long moment before hissing, "I really wish I could hate you..." And then he was gone.

~*~

Three weeks without speaking to Draco were some of the most difficult Harry could remember. After a few days the anger at the things he had said dissipated and all Harry was left with was a dull ache for their conversations and some very, very bruised pride. Draco was an obnoxious little brat at times, but he cared about Harry, and Harry knew that. Harry treasured that, because as far as he was concerned, few people genuinely did. He had turned up for their meeting on the second week after the fight, and Draco hadn't; he hadn't shown the next week either. It was down-right miserable.

Gavin knew that Harry and Draco had fallen out, and while he hadn't done a particularly skilful job of hiding his pleasure in the fact, at least he had had the common decency to try. He had wrapped Harry in an abundance of loving cuddles and done everything in his power to cheer him up; most of the time his ideas were nice, but didn't work, or Harry simply wasn't in the mood at all. Harry barely noticed as the older boy became less and less buoyant each time they saw each other, until, as they approached the weekend of the Gryffindor-Slytherin game, he seemed down-right miserable, too. He had even offered to try and speak to Draco himself, but Harry had refused, insisting that he didn't understand Draco well enough to bother.

The day of the match came, and Harry spent two hours beforehand trying to be angry enough with Draco that it would make him more aggressive and hopefully contribute something to their play. All it did was give him a headache.

Gavin waited by the changing rooms for him before the game, dragging him around the back to wish him luck and cast an Unbreakable charm on his glasses for him. Harry managed to smile at him as he kissed him gently on the forehead and told him he'd be watching from the Ravenclaw stand. "I love you," he whispered, the tiny inflection of hope that had been detectable in his words a couple of weeks previously somewhat dulled with resignation. "Now go an' show them Slytherin cheats 'ow good y' are, a'right?"

Harry nodded and turned away, allowing his fingers to trail gently out of the other boy's hand. He missed the miserable sigh Gavin gave as he watched him go.

"You alright, Harry?" Ron asked as they stood at the entrance to the pitch, waiting to be called out. He knew that Harry and Draco weren't talking and couldn't fail to see how miserable Harry had been for the past few weeks. He didn't like to admit it, but he was starting to wish they'd just make up so everything could go back to normal - or as normal as it had been that year.

"I'm fine, Ron. Just concentrate on the game."

"I will..." Ron replied, hesitating as Harry strode out onto the Quidditch pitch. "Just hope you can an' all."

Harry strode up to face the Slytherin, trying very hard to appear unperturbed by the other boy's look of loathing. After Madam Hooch read out the mandatory rules she ordered them to shake hands. With a sneer of distaste, Draco said "No."

"Mr Malfoy, you will observe the match rules," she insisted, clearly thinking that this was just another show of bravado from the school's biggest rivals.

"I will not."

"Just shut up and shake my hand, you prat," Harry growled, holding it out rigidly for him to take.

Draco narrowed his eyes and hissed, "I know where it's been."

"Don't start, Malfoy."

"Gentlemen! You will shake hands according to rules or you will forfeit the game."

"I'm willing to shake hands, Madam Hooch - it's Malfoy who won't."

Draco gave an ugly leer of anger and touched Harry's hand so briefly it was almost a slap.

Madam Hooch tutted at them in disapproval and stepped back to blow her whistle. "Mount your brooms!"

Immediately, all fourteen players raced to their positions and waited for the balls to be released. The moment they were both of the Weasley twins buzzed Harry, saying, "Don't worry, mate-"

"-we'll keep our eye on him!"

"Leave him alone! Concentrate on the game!" Harry yelled after them, swooping to the right to follow the blond boy as he darted off towards the Gryffindor stand. He wasn't going to let the other boy reach the Snitch first, not today. He was far too annoyed. He'd spent so much time wishing he could apologise for the things he had said - even if he had half meant them - and now the other boy was being as petty as he possibly could. After the game he'd try to talk to him, sort this out once and for all, because he really didn't want them to go back to the way things used to be. He enjoyed Draco's company far too much.

Draco was swooping around the pitch as fast as he could, frantically trying to vent some anger before he caught sight of the Snitch. It was all well and good to have some aggression in your play, but at present he was almost shaking with rage and it wouldn't help his hand-eye co-ordination at all. Hate him hate him hate him! Stupid Gryffindork. Stupid prat. Why can't he just leave me alone? The truth of the matter was that Draco's anger with Harry wasn't quite enough to suppress how much he missed him. He wanted it all to never have happened, to never have been there when Harry had brought the stupid Yeti home with him. How could he have been so inconsiderate? Harry's feeble tales about feeling too guilty to do anything didn't help. While they gave him the tiniest sliver of hope that Harry was starting to feel the same way, he had been too hurt by the other things he had said to really accept it. People didn't say things like that to people they cared about.

Harry watched at Draco spiralled higher and higher. In an instant he decided to catch up with him - it wouldn't be hard on his Firebolt - and to use the time to try and apologise. He wasn't going to be able to concentrate on the game like this anyway. He leaned forward and picked up his pace, arcing up steeply to meet with the other boy at the centre of the spiral. As Draco neared him his eyes narrowed and he tugged him broom into a vertical position so it stalled and free-fell towards the ground, spinning rapidly. He pulled out of the descent barely a meter from the grass and darted off towards the Slytherin goal posts. "Was that supposed to be a hint?" Harry muttered to himself, oblivious to the gasps of the crowd at the other boy's death-defying plunge. "Well you're not getting rid of me that easily..."

In the stands, Hermione and Ginny stood next to Hagrid, who was watching the game with a huge pair of omnioculars. "What on bleedin' Earth are they playin' at?" he muttered, lowering them to look at Hermione and gesture wildly as Harry circled the Slytherin posts in hot pursuit of their captain. "Not payin' the blindest bit of attention, neither of 'em!"

Hermione frowned at the spectacle before her, "I think I know what he's doing - and he'd being terribly silly about it," she said, frowning.

"Well it ain't right," Hagrid said, putting his omnioculars back up to his face. "I'd hate teh see what Sirius Black's gonna say about it..."

In the teachers' stand, Sirius Black's lips were pressed more tightly together than McGonagall's and he was muttering darkly in his head about there being time and place for things like this.

Harry sped past George Weasley who yelled, "CALM DOWN!" at him and swung his bat at a bludger without even looking. It whooshed across the pitch and narrowly missed one of the Slytherin chasers.

"And it's sixty-twenty to Gryffindor! The quaffle is back in play and it's Montague - Higgs - back to Montague - Oh! Nice play by the only Gryffindor female, there!"

Draco took a few sharp turns, still trying to shake the Gryffindor from his tail. Just-take-the-hint! He swerved on every word, weaving between other players and finally thinking that he had seen a glimpse of gold near the Gryffindors' top hoop. He launched himself forward, travelling so fast his broom began to shudder slightly. Behind him, Harry also put on a spurt of acceleration, until he over-took the other boy and rounded on him, totally ignorant to the Snitch a few feet below. Draco dropped sharply, reaching out with his left hand, but he wasn't aiming for the tiny fluttering ball. He had seen something Harry had missed, and as the bludger hit the side of Weasley's head, he was already ten feet below, twisting sharply away from the fluttering golden ball so easily within reach and grasping for the boy's robes as he tumbled fifty feet towards the ground. He heard a sickening click as his shoulder was wrenched from its socket, and felt the shooting pains in his fingers as two of his finger nails were torn back from the skin and his littlest finger snapped. But he had a hold of him for the few precious seconds it took for the boy's twin brothers to grab him in and help lower him to the ground, completely unconscious.

As they touched down in the sand around the goal hoops, Draco's hearing suddenly seemed to return, and time returned to its normal pace; he hadn't even been aware of the change until that moment. There were yells and screams from the stands, a great flurry of people were racing towards them, and with a heavy, graceless thump, Harry staggered back to the ground, nearly crashing his broom in his hurry. He didn't have time to reach his friend before he was surrounded by teachers and Madam Pomfrey, who insisted that everyone be held back. Instead, Harry stared, his face blank in shock. Draco found himself collapsing onto the grass, sitting cross-legged and holding his arm to his chest as he watched the blood seeping from his damaged nails.

Harry didn't know what to do. He stood there, dumbstruck, as people fussed over Ron, trying to help him. He saw Hermione and Ginny sprinting towards him, but Hermione didn't stop; instead she skidded onto the floor and flung her arms around Draco, sobbing "Thank you! Thank you!" He pushed her away wincing and telling her to get off of him, half-heartedly. Ginny, on the other hand, flung her arms around Harry. She, too, was sobbing, but he barely noticed; almost automatically, he reached and arm up to hug her, and to his surprise, saw that he had the Snitch clasped tightly in his fingers. He had completely forgotten catching it.

A few meters away, he could see the rest of the Slytherin team huddled together, their faces livid. They were all staring at Draco murderously. He had just lost them the game - for a Weasley. All at once, Harry realised what the other boy had done and untangling himself from Ginny, moved over to where he sat, still shaken, next to a distraught Hermione.

"Drac?" he said, his voice strained and raspy.

The blond boy glanced at him, then continued to stare at his mangled hand.

"Bloody hell! Draco, you're really hurt!" Harry cried, kneeling down beside him and trying to pull the hand away from his chest to look at it.

"Ow! Don't!" he hissed, pulling it back and closing his eyes tightly against the pain.

"Sorry! God, Draco, you have to see Madam Pomfrey - look at your finger! It's broken!"

"My shoulder is dislocated, too, but Weasley is unconscious and they have more important things to deal with," he said emotionlessly. "I'm just a Slytherin, anyway."

"No you're not," François Zabini sneered contemptuously as he and Terrence Higgs loomed over them. Zabini looked down at Draco in disgust, "We don't have blood-traitors in our House," he said before spitting in his face. They turned and walked away, the rest of the house following. Harry began to scramble to his feet furiously, not certain what he intended to do, but certain that it was going to hurt them, only to have a thin hand with an unnaturally tight grip clasp onto his robes and pull him back to the ground.

"No."

Draco stared after them silently, his expression completely unreadable. Harry acquiesced and pulled down his sleeve to wipe the spit from the other boy's face with it; Draco didn't protest, but sat with his eyes downcast. "Ignore them," Harry told him, rubbing his sleeve against his hip and grimacing. "And thank you," he added, finally catching the other boy's eye, "I can't tell you how grateful I am..."

A few meters away, Gavin turned on his heel without so much as checking his pace and headed back to the castle. For a moment, Wood frowned and looked around for what he had seen, gave a sigh and followed, shaking his head.

~*~

Harry and the others had been told to wait outside for news about Ron, but Harry had taken advantage of the fact that Madam Pomfrey's dithering assistant, Marmaduke, had been distracted and had obtained permission to sit with Draco until he was seen to. The blond boy was alone, sitting on a crisply made bed at the far end of the ward. He was deathly pale and his arm, still held across his chest, almost seemed defensive. Someone had clearly given him a bundle of tissue paper to manage the blood still oozing from the tips of his fingers, and he held it around the hand as it rested on his chest, near enough to his shoulder for him to be resting the side of his chin upon it.

He stared into the middle distance with wide-pupiled eyes and didn't seem to notice as Harry walked over and stopped at the side of the bed.

"Are you alright?" he asked, knowing it was a stupid question, but not knowing what else to say.

"I sincerely hope I didn't tear my arm to pieces for nothing," he replied flatly, without so much as a blink.

"Have you been given anything? Painkillers or... I dunno... something?"

Draco shook his head slightly.

"But - why? Didn't you ask?"

"No."

"But-"

"Leave it, Harry."

They remained in silence for a few minutes, watching as people bustled around Ron at the other end of the ward, until Madam Pomfrey saw them watching and drew the curtains roughly.

"Drac," Harry began, quietly, easing himself onto the bed facing him, "I wanted to say thanks... I know you hate Ron and everything, but... that makes what you did even more important. He... well, he could have died and I... Well, it's obvious that I can't accept that as a win. As soon as Ron's okay again we'll have to have a re-match."

Draco continued to stare at the wall, but said, "No, the game stands," his voice monotone and oddly tinny. He looked pale and tense and Harry hadn't the faintest idea what to do or say to him.

"But... I shouldn't have won that - "

"If we play again it is nothing to do with me. I am no longer a part of the team; that is obvious."

"You're going to leave?"

"I don't have a choice. You saw what they did, Harry. You can't honestly think they mean for me to stay on the team - much less be captain?"

Harry ruffled a hand through his hair, frowning, "Well... no, but... can they do that?"

"I couldn't care less," Draco said tiredly. "I never really liked Quidditch much anyway. I only played it because of you. I can still fly without risking my own neck against those horrendous bludgers."

Hesitantly, Harry reached out and squeezed the shoulder that wasn't hurt. "You're being really brave about this; braver than I could be," he said.

Draco gave a snort of laughter and shook his head; "Stop calling me a Gryffindor."

"It's not an insult!"

"It is when I have just been excommunicated from my own house!"

"I - but - I'm sorry... You were brave, though - you're still being brave! You must be in agony and yet - "

"Mind your own business," Draco snapped, leaning back against the bed and knocking his left elbow on the edge of the bedside cabinet. He didn't even wince. "As far as I'm concerned, bravery is but another word for gallant stupidity. It is not a trait I would be proud of."

"Draco, you did a good thing - "

"I did a foolish thing. I nearly caused myself to be killed, now I probably will be - only this will not be an accident."

Harry stared at him for a moment, then glanced over his shoulder to check the others were still busy with Ron before whispering, "Don't say that! He won't - I mean... they wouldn't let him, would they? Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to do anything to you? You'll have to stay here for Christmas - you could stay with us! I can tell Gavin that I can't go to Wales and you can stay with us!"

"Do you really think he would allow it? Of course he wouldn't! He will have heard a full report of what happened by tomorrow morning, and then all of this will come down on my head."

"Then we'll talk to Dumbledore! There has to be something we can do, Draco - we can't just let him take you home and... and God knows what happen to you!"

"What difference does it make? It isn't as if you care."

Harry gaped at him in disbelief. "How can you think that?" he hissed anxiously. "The last couple of weeks have been horrible! If I didn't care I wouldn't have been so unhappy, would I?"

For a moment, Draco said nothing, then he carefully told him, "You should have thought of that earlier."

"I didn't think of it because I didn't want it to happen!"

"Well just remember, Harry, that while you were indulging in whatever it is you two do when you're together, I had no one."

"You've got me!"

"Will you keep your voice down?"

"I'm sorry, it's just - "

"If all you plan to do is make things harder for me by saying stupid things like that, you can just leave me alone right now."

"Draco, stop keep pushing me away! I know that you need me and I want to be there for you, so just swallow your pride and let me, alright?"

"No."

"Listen to me; I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry if I hurt you. You must know that I'd never do that deliberately. You must do..." Harry said, grabbing his wrist and squeezing gently.

"You're incredibly lucky that that is my right arm."

"I know which arm it is. Now listen, I really want us to be mates again, Drac - "

"Drac-o."

' "Oh, shut up! I have totally hated the last few weeks and I'm not going to allow it to happen again, so you're going to forgive me now or you're going to tell me what I have to do to make you forgive me."

Draco closed his eyes and gave a tiny sigh, "I've already forgiven you," he said. "But I am sick of being forced to watch you with him, Harry. I'm sick of seeing it, I'm sick of hearing about it, and I'm sick of feeling sick every time I think of you with him."

"Well I'm sorry, but he's my boyfriend. I'll try not to throw it in your face - and I never do it on purpose - but I'm not going to stop seeing him just to please you. No matter how much I care about you - and I do - I can't let it rule everything else."

"Don't sugar coat the pill, will you, Harry?"

"No, I won't, because it confuses the issue. You're an amazing person - just what you did today proves that - but then so is Hermione and I wouldn't want to go out with her, either."

"She's a girl. Just."

"Well, alright, that doesn't help her cause much, either, but y'know..? You see the point I'm making?"

"As clear as mud."

"Draco..."

"Alright! You're saying you want to be my friend and nothing more, which I already know."

"And I'm sorry if the other night was... was difficult... There was just something weird about that night - it was the moon, it just..." Harry trailed off, lacking the words to describe what he had seen as he and the blond boy lay side-by-side on his bedroom floor.

"Oh wonderful, you're a werewhore."

"Shut up, Draco!" Harry said, thumping his arm playfully and trying to hide a grin. "Really, do. I'm trying to be serious..."

"I'm listening..."

"Well..." he glanced around at the drawn curtains or the other bed and briefly wondered if Ron was alright; "The thing is, I'm really, really fond of you... and I mean - you're not exactly ugly, are you? But I just... I've got to do what is best for me. And regardless of what you think, at the moment what's best for me is having you as one of my best friends, and Gavin as my boyfriend. And he does care about me, Drac, he really, really does. He even offered to come and talk to you about us being friends again, last week. And he meant it."

"So why didn't he?"

"Because I told him it'd be pointless because he wouldn't understand you."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning he's no use to anyone as a big pile of ash."

"Obviously."

"He's not a bad person, Draco. I know you're biased and everything and I know that he did something really stupid on Halloween, but he's made up for it, now. I've forgiven him, and I wish you would, too."

"It isn't that easy. I don't like him, and I do think he has ulterior motives, but mainly I need something to be angry about with him, don't you realise that? I'm...jealous of him. Really jealous. I want him to wither and die so he's out of the way and leaves you for me..."

"Who says - "

"Oh shush and allow an injured man something to cling on to!"

"Sorry..."

The blond boy hesitated for a moment before asking, "Be honest with me, Harry - do you love him?"

"Um... well, I don't know..." Harry blushed. "I care about him a lot - a hell of a lot... but then... I care about you a lot, too... And it's different... but in some ways it's the same. And you're my friend... So I just really don't know. Do you think it's possible to love someone without being in love with them, but it still be different to your mates?"

"How should I know?" Draco replied, "And you may want to change the subject while you're still forgiven."

"Sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, just be quiet."

At that moment, Madam Pomfrey bustled over and said, "You'll have to be away now, young man. I have to see to my patient and I can't do that with you hovering."

Harry slid off the bed, "Can I go and see Ron for a while? For a few minutes, even?" he asked hopefully.

"I'd rather not."

"Oh please, Madam Pomfrey! Think of all the times Ron has been in here with me in the past - it wouldn't be fair for me to go without seeing him."

Madam Pomfrey stood, scrutinising him with her hands on her hips for a moment. "Oh alright," she said, eventually, as Draco circled his little finger with his index, behind her back, "but just for a few minutes. And there won't be much to see, mind. He's out for the count; for a few hours, at least."

~*~

Remus left the cottage with the intention of returning some books to the library. He had been giving himself what he feared would be a head start on his soon-to-be-delegated role within the Order, and had borrowed as many books as Madam Pince had allowed from her precious shelves. He had finished at least three-quarters, but knew, deep down, that this was only the first batch. The white picket gate clunked shut behind him as he made his way across the lawns, now strewn with the brittle leaves from the trees behind the house. The winter always made the Forbidden Forest look more sinister, its trees looking like monsters with long, pointing fingers waiting to reach out and curl around anyone who would venture close enough, but now, on the brink of war, is was more dangerous than a mine field.

Distantly, he heard a heavy splosh and glanced towards the lake, expecting to see the tips of eight large tentacles floating upon the surface. Instead, he saw a figure, stooping to pick up another rock and hurling it with all his force as far into the water as he could manage. His first thought was, James used to do that; his second, Wait a minute, what's Gavin doing out here? I thought Harry had a game today... For a moment, he hesitated, then turned from the path slowly being eroded into the lawn where they passed to and from the school each day, and headed towards the lake.

"You'll upset the squid like that," he said lightly, when he was just a few feet away from the boy. The boy merely shrugged and picked up another stone. "I would ask if you're alright, but I suspect that would be a rather redundant question at the moment; so I will ask what's wrong."

The dark-haired boy weighed the stone in his hand for a moment, his head slightly lowered, then pelted it into the water a fair fifty yards away. "Nothin'," he said sullenly.

"Well, you are by no means obliged to tell me, but I know that what they say about a problem shared being a problem halved is true, most of the time."

Gavin stopped in a crouching position, one hand trailing the floor limply, and turned to look over his shoulder at him. "I don' think tha' you'd be so int'rested if you knew," he said, before looking around and picking up another stone, which he again threw harshly into the water.

"Why don't you try me?" Remus challenged, settling down on the boulder where Lily used to perch and read, clutching his own six tomes.

"I don' think you'd wanna hear it."

"Am I right in suspecting that it's something to do with Harry?"

The boy nodded, stopping for a moment as his shoulders heaved in a heavy sigh.

"What has he done?"

A shrug as he studied the rock in his hand, smoothing his thumb across it and rubbing off the dirt with unwarranted concentration.

"Gavin?"

"I love 'im, y'know..."

Remus's heart skipped a beat. Hearing it from Harry was one thing - hearing the boy say it himself was quite another. "Harry said as much," he forced himself to say, without implication.

"Don' s'pose I outta be telling you that, but... I don' reckon it matters t'im anyway."

"Why not?"

"S'not as if 'e feels the same, or anythin'..." There was a pause as the Ravenclaw gave the stone one last rub and skimmed it nine hops across the surface. "Not for me, any rate."

"Forgive me if I sound a little patronising, I know how unpleasant do-gooders' advice can be when you don't want to hear it, but you have to remember that Harry is more than a year younger than you. He has no idea what he feels, least of all towards the people closest to him."

"I' been startin' t'notice," the boy said, his shoulders slumped and his head hung in such a way that his face was hidden behind the thick, dark locks of hair. "I noticed 'ow much people do mean t'im, though, too."

Remus was in no doubt that he knew precisely whom the boy was referring to; who else could it be than Draco, the determined, petulant and deceptively fragile creature that had so recently become to represent a dawn of change for all of them? And what grounds did Remus have for reassuring the boy when he was almost certain that his suspicions had firm foundation? He wracked his brain for some words of wisdom, of the variety that he had once offered James in times of Lily Crisis, and found none.

"I 'oped 'e'd come an' stay at my house fer a day or two," the boy said pensively, when Remus didn't speak. "I wan'ed my parents t' meet 'im. Don' see the point any more..."

"Gavin, may I ask - have I missed something? I don't understand quite what has happened."

"Same as always," Gavin mumbled, sitting down on one of the small hillocks of grass at the very edge of the lake. "'Arry can' keep 'imself away from Draco-soddin'-Malfoy."

"When? During the game?"

"After. Didn' you go?"

"No, I had work to do. I've seen Harry fly before, and it at least gives Sirius something to tell me about when he gets back from the game if I don't go."

"Well, Ron Weasley were knocked out by a bludger and sorta landed on Malfoy, who 'elped get 'im down. Harry didn't see an' caught the snitch and then 'e were sittin' there wi' Malfoy, wipin' 'is face with 'is robes and actin' like the Sun shines outta 'is ar-- backside."

Remus thought for a moment, before offering, "Harry's a sensitive soul. What Draco did is commendable and I'm sure that his gratitude would have out-weighed all else at that point."

"S' no' that. I know it ain't. D' you know they stopp'd talkin' an that?"

"I did. And I know that the reason they stopped talking was an argument about you."

Gavin stared at him blankly for a few seconds, the asked, "Was it?"

"Both Sirius and I witnessed the entire episode."

"I'll bet Sirius is even more out fer my blood now, innee?"

"Why would he be out for your blood?"

"I don' think 'e likes me. In fact, I reckon 'e 'ates me."

"No, don't be silly. Sirius doesn't hate you; Sirius is like that with everyone."

"Not in my classes, 'e's not. But I don' even care abou' that. I jus' wish 'Arry'd make up 'is mind," the boy sighed. "Jus' scared o'what 'e'll say, tha's all..."

Remus stood up, leaving his books stacked on top of the boulder, and sat down beside the young Welshman. "Gavin, as Harry's guardian I like to think I know him fairly well, and I know that for a fifteen year-old boy he can be in extremes either very precocious or very naïve. We all need to remember, sometimes, that he has had a very unpleasant and unhappy childhood. The sense most of us would make of certain relationships do not quite occur to him as they ordinarily would to someone else."

"I know that - 'e told me all about his aunt an' uncle and what complete bas- I mean bullies they were-"

"Then be patient with him. Draco and Harry are good friends, I know that you're aware of that, and for the time being Draco needs as many friends as he can find. It is not going to be an easy few months, possibly even years, and I would not like to see the boy left alone. I know first-hand how little he and Harry have seen of each other recently, because Draco has been spending more time at the cottage with me than Sirius has, and he lives there."

Gavin pulled at blades of slightly muddy grass between his arched knees, "So it's clear tha' you an' Malfoy are pretty frien'ly..."

"He comes to me because he has no one else. I'm sure that if he had the opportunity to make more friends he would take it."

"I jus' 'ope 'e doesn' take 'Arry an' all."

"Harry isn't a prize to be won or an object to be stolen; he'll go where he feels most happy."

"Well - no, I know... S'not what I meant. 'Arry's worth more than that."

"I'm glad you agree. And frankly, I think a change of scenery would do him good."

The Ravenclaw looked up at him suddenly, his cheeks pink and his eyes wide. "Really?"

"Yes, and I know that the environment may not be completely neutral of the current situation, but perhaps the offer still stands of a brief trip down to the Rhondda Valley in a few weeks' time?"

"Yes! Yeah, o' course it stands!" the boy said immediately, his round brown eyes lighting up with delight, which suddenly dimmed as he looked away and said, "If 'Arry still wants to, that is..."

"I think he will," Remus smiled reassuringly, "even if it is just because he has his mother's stubbornness."

"Won' Sirius mind? Technic'ly 'e's 'Arry's guardian, innee?"

"I'll tell you a secret," he told him confidentially, "Sirius may think he wears the trousers in our household, but I make the rules."

~*~

When Harry went to visit Ron while Hermione was at classes the next day, he found him propped up on a ridiculous quantity of pillows. His face was still a nasty purple on one side and his freckles clashed horribly with the marks where they spread out into paler skin. His eyes were closed and Harry thought he might have been sleeping, but he crept nearer, intent on reassuring himself that the other boy was still breathing.

"About bloody time."

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin as the other boy's voice croaked out to him. "Ron! You're awake!" he grinned, hurrying the rest of the distance. He patted him on the shoulder amiably and said, "You're looking crap."

"I know, Marmaduke showed me. Bloody nutcase."

"Everyone's been fussing, you know. All the girls are running around in huddles going 'Ooooh, poor Ronniekins! He's so bwave!'" Harry teased, reaching in his pocket and pulling out three Chocolate Frogs. "I suppose we're getting a bit old for these, really, but here - these are for you."

"Old? Piss off! These things are an institution. No one's ever too old for Chocolate Frogs, and don't you bloody forget it!"

"Alright," Harry chuckled, climbing up to sit on the bed.

"Thanks, though," Ron lisped, and Harry realised that one of his top teeth on the left hand side was broken. "Makes a change, doesn't it? You bringing me get well sweets?"

"Yeah, I suppose it does. I'll try not to get almost-killed this year, so then you won't have to anyway."

"Good idea."

"Good job Draco caught you or you could've been the second dead one in your family!"

Ron stared at him, and for a few instants it looked as though even his bruises had paled. "What?"

"What?" Harry echoed, his mirth subsiding somewhat. "I mean - Draco caught you. You knew that didn't you? Didn't someone tell you?"

Ron swallowed and pulled at his sheets, "You said... You were talking about Archie..."

Oh Harry, you stupid, stupid git! What the Hell were you saying? "Ron," Harry began apologetically, "God, Ron, I'm sorry - I didn't think..."

There were several drawn out moments of awkward silence, in which the soft squeaking of trolley wheels could be heard across the ward, soon followed by the indignant tones of Draco's protesting voice.

"I forgot..." Ron mumbled, trailing off. "I never told you who he was, did I?"

"No, but... well, Hermione told me. Straight after it happened. You know - that morning after McGonagall took you all... She thought that Percy might be - might be... hurt. I don't think she'd have said if-"

"It's alright, Harry," the ginger boy told him quietly. "I should've bloody told you myself..."

"No, look, Ron - you really don't have to explain - "

"No one speaks about it at home," the other boy said, staring intently at his fingers as they worried a crease in the bed linen, "so we don't at school, either. He killed himself in our barn... that's why we don't play in it any more. It used to be really good for hide-and-seek when we were really little, but then mum and dad stopped us playing there. They said it was disrespectful, and that."

"Why did he do it?" Harry asked carefully, looking at his friend, but trying to attain the near impossible balance between politeness and patronisation.

"I know, but I don't, if you see what I mean. I know what the letter said... well, what the card said... It was Christmas..." Ron told him, a small shake starting in his voice.

Christmas? Something about this story was starting to sound oddly familiar to Harry.

"It said that he didn't want to come back to a place where everyone hated him... and to remember him like he used to be."

Harry felt his stomach plummet. No - no it couldn't be... It just couldn't...

"Ginny and me never remembered him that well. He was our big brother, y'know? I think because we grew up with the others Archie was sort of... we sort of hero-ized him. He was clever like Percy and kind like Charlie and I think Fred and George have his sense of humour or something, because I remember him putting whoopee cushions on mum's chair in the morning to make us laugh..." He paused to take a deep breath and give a distant smile, then said, "Mum and Dad - especially mum - kind of blame themselves for it. They reckon they should have noticed how unhappy he was or something. They don't ever talk about him in front of us, but... I've heard mum crying sometimes. On his birthday and Christmas and things. It's horrible. We don't talk about him at home because it upsets her and we don't talk about it at school because we might accidentally say something when we go home, and I don't think people would... Well, they wouldn't be very nice if they remembered him."

"Because he was like me?" Harry offered, a lump in his own throat threatening to choke him.

Ron stared at him for a minute, before looking down and nodding.

"I didn't realise," Harry said, rubbing his hand through his hair. "When I started going out with Gavin he told me about some guy who'd been so badly bullied that he... well... It must've been Archie. I'm sorry Ron. I can't believe I said something that stupid..."

"It's alright," Ron told him with a forlorn chuckle, "I say more stupid stuff than you do, anyway."

"Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Archie the reason you thought... y'know - when we were up in the dorm that time and you asked me if you could be... Like me..."

The ginger boy shrugged half-heartedly, "I suppose so..."

"God, Ron... I'm so sorry... You've got such a brilliant family - you don't deserve stuff like that to happen to you."

"No one does, do they?"

Harry gave a sigh, "No," he said, shaking his head, "No one does."

There was a lull in the conversation; Harry didn't know what to say next - it seemed flippant to change the subject, but he didn't want Ron to sit and dwell on it and get all miserable because of him. He was deeply relieved when Ron spoke himself.

"So - what's all this I hear about Malfoy saving me?"

"Oh! He caught you!" Harry gushed immediately, "I barely saw it, but he just dived for you! He's over there - " he gestured to the other side curtain screen " - because he mangled his hand up so badly. There was blood everywhere."

Ron stared at him with raised eyebrows for a minute, "Malfoy. Saved me. At cost to himself?"

"Yeah! And he's been kicked off the team and stuff - he was amazing, though! You could've died if it wasn't for him."

"You're completely taking the piss."

"I'm completely telling the truth!"

"Bloody hell..."

"I know! I told you he was alright!" Harry said, proudly.

"Are you sure it wasn't an accident?"

"Absolutely sure. He dived about ten or fifteen feet away from the snitch - downwards, so he couldn't even have been aiming for it!"

"So what, you expect me to be his best mate, now?"

"Well, no - but that's a life debt - you could at least start by being civil..."

"I have been civil. Haven't punched him in ages, have I? And maybe this is some kind of masterplan," Ron suggested facetiously, "maybe he wants the entire planet to have a life debt owed to him so that they have to do whatever he wants!"

"Don't be a prat."

"Well he could," Ron insisted, flopping back and folding his arms across his chest.

"'Well he could' what?" the Slytherin's voice demanded as he yanked back the curtains and sauntered in.

"Ron reckons you have a masterplan to take over the world with life debts," Harry grinned.

"Oh really - how juvenile!" Draco tutted. "Why would I need life debts when I have my charm and good looks?"

"Because not everyone's blind and gullible?" Ron offered, scowling. "Bugger off."

"Now that's not a very good start if you're trying to be civil, is it, Weasley? You could at least have managed 'Bugger off, please'."

"Oh shut up, both of you!" Harry laughed, pulling him closer and wrapping both arms around him from the side so that he couldn't possibly launch a barrage of curses at the other boy.

"Oh my God! Harry, get off him!" Ron ordered, grimacing, "That's horrible! You just hugged Malfoy! I'm sick enough already! Don't make me puke up, too!"

"Stop your whinging this instant, Weasley, you wouldn't be around to revolt at all if it wasn't for me."

"Yeah, yeah, so I'm told. What do you want - a slave for a day? Your homework done by my girlfriend? My best mate's hand in marriage?"

"All of the above?" Harry grinned, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Yes, I think I'll take all of the above. Thank you, Harry. Will you be wearing white or has Cross already ensured that would be too hypocritical?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Yeah, shut up, you perv - what Harry does or doesn't do is none of your business."

"No, and of course, I'm not going out with the school's 'thinking man's totty', am I? So named because you can only face it if you're thinking of someone else."

"You bitchy little git!" Harry gasped and yanked him onto the bed across Ron's legs. "Ron - give me a pillow!"

All three boys froze at the sharp, serpentine hiss of metal curtain hooks curtains being thrown back. Before them, decked head-to-toed in black fur robes, was Lucius Malfoy. He stared down upon the scene with distaste, freezing grey eyes burning into each and every one of them, while remaining fixed on Draco's inelegantly sprawled form.

"Get up," he hissed through gritted teeth; and Draco did so instantly. "Anyone would think you were as common as a Weasley. How you can bear to allow yourself so close to one I will never comprehend."

"What are you doing here?" Harry demanded coldly. This was the first time he had seen the man since the cemetery where Voldemort had tried to kill him. He was even surer now, that the voice from beneath the hood had been his. "The wards around this school should keep warlocks like you away from here."

Lucius Malfoy stepped forward, shoving Draco behind him impatiently, where he shook his head at Harry frantically, as if imploring him to be quiet. "I have come to collect my son, who was so tragically injured during a sports game. You would be well advised, Mr Potter, to take care of precisely what it is you accuse people of; false accusations can be so very damaging in the wrong hands."

"I'm not scared of you. I know what you are and I'm going to make sure that everyone else does, too. You'll be finished long before this war," Harry told him through tightened lips.

"Really?" the elder Malfoy smirked, looking frighteningly like his son, "Then I will take you with me. Draco, we are leaving."

Harry barely caught a glimpse of Draco's face as his father grasped him by the collar and thrust him towards the door. It was all he needed to know that he was terrified.