Broken: The Journal of Harry Potter

Broken: The Journal of Harry Potter

Chapter Two: FATE

June 10 2:30 AM

"Harry," Voldemort hissed, his voice ladened with pleasure.

I awoke to that voice and for a moment I thought it was all in my head, until I looked up to see the Dark Lord before me. Some part of me prayed that it was all just a nightmare and any second I would wake up in your arms safe and secure. I knew fate had come for me and it had come with red eyes of hate and the smell of death and decay.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice determined not to betray the terror I felt.

"I think you know what I want Harry."

"You have gotten what you wanted. I agreed to join you. I am ready to become a Death Eater."

Voldemort laughed, and the sound was like nails dragged across a chalkboard. It hurt my ears to listen as he continued to chuckle.

"Did you really think I was going to let you be a Death Eater? Did you think that I would trust you that much?" He asked as the laughter died on his lips.

"But what was the training for?"

"Oh, that was just me letting my Death Eaters have a little fun with you. I couldn't deny my boys the pleasure of breaking the boy who lived now could I?"

"They didn't break me!" I screamed as the anger began to boil under my skin.

"No, I didn't think that they could. Why, look at you right now all flushed with rage. No, my dear boy," he hissed as trailed a hand down my cheek, "I am the only one who is going to have the pleasure of breaking you."

"You can try, but you won't succeed," I said the need to defy him growing stronger.

"Such brave words from such a foolish boy," Voldemort said as he ran his hands down my body.

"Stop," I whispered weakly, his touch causing my skin to crawl.

"That's not what you told your precious Draco, nor my Death Eaters when they had they fun with you."

My whole body shook with a rush of fury, and my words spewed out of my mouth like poison.

"You leave Draco of out of this you bastard! As for your fucking Death Eaters they didn't give me much of a choice when the forced themselves on me now did they?"

"Strong words, Harry dear. I could have sworn I heard moans of pleasure coming from your cell."

"Why you fucking bastard!"

"Those weren't yours? No matter, you will make them for me by the time I am through with you."

"Never!" I screamed

"Oh no Harry? I bet that not only will I have you moaning my name from pleasure you will also one day sink before me and suck me dry as your former lover watches."

"I will never betray Draco like that."

"Never say never Harry. But alas I tire of playing games with you. Now get on your knees."

"No."

"You dare to defy me? Well, no matter I like to play rough anyway," with that said Voldemort drew out his wand and pointed it right at me.

"Imperius Totalus!"

My mind went blank and I froze.

"How do you like my new curse Harry? I came up with it just for you. I knew that you could probably fend off the Imperius curse so I heightened its power to make sure even you couldn't break it. Don't you like it? Oh, that's right you have no response until I give you one. How completely wonderful. Now kneel!"

With that Harry sank down to his knees.

Sometime in June 1: 30 PM

I don't know how long I have been under the Imperius curse. Days or weeks even. This is the first extended period of time alone the Dark Lord has given me since he put me under the curse. Oh, he has let me awake from it for minutes, sometimes even hours. During that time I am left to try and piece together just what I did while under it. It haunts me for somewhere inside myself I know just what I have been doing with the Dark Lord. I always awake naked, and he forces me to watch him put his robes back on. He always has some type of degrading comment and my body flushes with anger at his words. Every time I try to fight him he places me back under and again I fall into the darkness of my own mind. His control is over whelming and I fear in the end it will break me. Why he has left me to my own mind today I do not know. I am left to wonder when he will return to begin the games he likes to play. I can smell my betrayal of you on my body, in my mouth, and all around this room. I used to wish for escape, now I wish for death. I don't think I can ever face you knowing what I have done. Be it not under my control is no matter. I should have been stronger. I should fought harder. You deserve better than someone with such a weak mind whose body has been defiled by the filthiest of monsters. I should stop writing to you now; let you go while I still can. I can't seem to do it though, Draco. I know that if I stop he shall truly control me. Let him have my body and my mind, but I am not ready to give him my soul.

11:30 PM

I can hear his footsteps as they fall against the stone floor. I know he is coming for me and I pray that maybe somehow I can escape my fate tonight. I pull at the chains that pin my to this nightmare and I look for something to cover myself with.

"Why, Harry you are looking positively radiant tonight. May I dare ask what you have been up too?" Voldemort hissed across the room.

"You have been gone all day, that is reason enough for me to be happy." I threw back at him.

"Touché dear Harry. I thought that you might have needed some rest after all that activity we have been engaging in."

"Activity? Is that what you call it Voldemort? I thought it was forcing me to please you while I have no say in the matter? But then again using the Imperius curse is the only way to get anyone to touch such a disgusting monster like your self? What happened Tom did the girls not go for the whole Dark Lord look? No, wait! Girls don't do it for you now do they? It was the boys that turned you down wasn't it? What they didn't want to touch a filthy muggle-born like yourself? Did you have to force yourself on them like you do to me? " I raged as I watched Voldemort's eyes grow dark.

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH POTTER!"

"Or what? You will curse me? Throw me into hell? Kill me? Trust me I think I am already dead Tom. So there is nothing you can do! You can't hurt the dead Tom."

"Don't call me that Potter! That filthy muggle name is mine no longer!"

"Did I hit a nerve? Or maybe I hit more than one? Come on tell me Tom! Or maybe not. Why would I want to know anything that goes on inside that twisted head of yours? Why would I want to know anything about you, you sick fuck!" I screamed as I felt my soul returning to my body. Let him strike; let him try to break me. For once I was fighting and it felt good.

"I tire of your games Riddle. If you are going to strike do it or leave me the fuck alone!"

Voldemort reached his hand out to strike me, but pulled back as a smile crossed his gruesome features.

"My dear Harry you almost made me hit that beautiful face of yours. Shame on you! I can't have my pet look ugly now can I?" Voldemort said as he stroked my cheek. "Let's see now Harry, now that the unpleasantness is over with maybe we can get back to the game I had planned tonight. This one you won't tire of I promise. Bring in the guest, gentlemen."

I watched in horror as two Death Eaters dragged in a boy with red hair.

"Ron?" I cried. "Please don't let it be you!"

"What is the matter Harry? I thought that you would be happy that I brought one of your friends to join you!"

"You leave him alone!" I yelled.

"Yelling is no way to greet a guest Harry dear. Please control yourself. Now I promise Harry if you play nice I will let your young friend go."

"I will give you anything. I will do anything! Please don't hurt him."

"Now, isn't playing nice the better option Harry?" Voldemort questioned as he drew out a long blade.

"Please don't hurt him!"

"Say please master."

"Please master."

"Well, since you asked so nicely I won't hurt him. No Harry dear. I think I am going to leave hurting him up to you."

"No I won't do it!" I screamed in horror.

"Oh no? Well, I think you will! Imperius Totalus!"

With that my world once again went blank.

I awoke hours latter to find a broken and bloody Ron laying across my bed. I crawled my way to him and pulled him gently in my lap. He was naked and his whole body was covered in blood. I pushed the bile back down in my throat and forced his name to come from my lips.

"Ron?"

"Harry is that you?"

"Yes, Ron it is me. I am so sorry! Voldemort he made me. I should have fought him. I am so sorry," I cried as my tears fell on his face and washed away the blood.

"It is okay. I knew you would have never hurt me on purpose. It's not your fault, Harry."

"It is! It is! I should have protected you. Oh, God I don't even remember what I did."

"Don't remember Harry. You would never forgive yourself. I love you Harry. You were always my best friend. Remember the good times, not the dark ones like this one. I have to go, Harry."

"No! Don't leave me! I love you. Stay! Don't you dare die on me Ron! I will save you. Please stay with me!"

"Good-bye Harry. You will beat him. I know it." With that Ron closed his eyes for the last time and his head rolled off my lap. In those moments all you could hear was my screams as they echoed off the cold stone walls in despair.