Another Story

Chapter Four

In which Remus and Ginny learn some things

The following morning Severus left his chambers somewhat later than usual. His body was still stiff and slightly uncooperative, but thanks to Hermione, the pain was nothing like it should have been. Instead of going on directly to the Great Hall and to breakfast, Severus chose to duck into the staff room to prepare some coffee before facing the irritating chatter that always pervaded the hall at mealtimes. He could have had coffee in his rooms, of course, but the temptation to linger there, comfortably sipping a warm cup before the fire, would have been too great. And if he had missed breakfast, Hermione would have lectured him that evening about the importance of good nutrition and keeping up his strength. People who cared could be so meddlesome sometimes, he decided, opening the staff room door.

"Good morning, Severus," said Professor Lupin as he stepped inside.

Severus frowned. He had imagined that he would have the room to himself. Many of the professors were already at breakfast, and he had expected Remus to be one of them.

"Remus," he acknowledged before going to one of the cupboards in the room and taking out a green and silver coffee cup. It was his, and knowing that, no one else ever touched it.

He glanced at Lupin's cup, which was not surprisingly scarlet with a chipped handle. Was there anything he owned that wasn't slightly shabby? Severus wrinkled his nose slightly as he realized that the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor was drinking what appeared to be hot chocolate instead of coffee. He was momentarily amazed that anyone could take him seriously. Then he remembered Remus' conduct in the demon realm. Appearances could be deceiving.

"How are you and Hermione doing?" asked Remus conversationally.

Snape glared at him as he prepared his cup of coffee and said, "That is supposed to be a secret."

"I know," shrugged Remus, taking at seat on the window sill.

"As well as can be expected," Severus conceded, realizing that the werewolf could never leave well enough alone. "And you and the Weasley girl?" he asked.

"I am tutoring Ginny in advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts. She wants to be able to defend herself better. And others too, I imagine," said Remus.

Severus frowned as he realized that her desire to learn advanced defense techniques was probably spurred on just as much by the attack on his person as the one on her own. Gryffindors were not always difficult to fathom.

"Is she doing very well?" asked Snape.

"Quite well actually. And it gives us a chance to spend more time together. You and Hermione might consider ..."

"Believe me, Lupin, our relationship will be much more successful if she stays out of my area of expertise," Severus interrupted. "Just as I will stay out of hers," he added.

"Transfigurations," Remus reminded him.

Severus made a face into his coffee cup, imagining the influence that Minerva McGonagall would be having on Hermione, especially when she became her teaching assistant. Not that he was entirely displeased. Hermione would be remaining at Hogwarts, perhaps even for the summer, depending on the war.

"No, for better or worse, the war will be over by summer," Severus thought, shaking his head.

"Knut for your thoughts," said Remus, watching him with a curious expression.

"My thoughts are worth much more than that, I assure you," said Snape sourly.

"It's an expression."

"I know."

"You're worried about the future," said Professor Lupin. "But it doesn't take a genius to figure that out," he added.

"And you aren't concerned?" asked Snape.

"I am. I worry about what will become of our students. One in particular. I imagine that you know what I mean," said Remus.

Severus looked at him for a moment and said, "I have inkling as to what you might mean by that."

"If I thought she would go or if I knew somewhere safe enough, I would try to send her away from here," admitted Remus.

"You're right. She wouldn't go," said Snape with a snort. "Hermione wouldn't either," he said with a bitter chuckle.

But for an instant Severus was proud of her strength and determination and her desire to do her part in the war. Then he remembered the death toll from the last battle. And the horrible magical injuries. The pain and suffering caused by the conflict. Any Gryffindor-like sentiments he may have felt for that brief moment vanished, replaced by the more thoughtful, more Slytherin, and less romanticized perspective he normally enjoyed.

Remus refilled his cup and held it up almost as though to make a toast. Severus sneered slightly, but joined suit with his half empty mug of coffee.

"To wicked old cradle-robbers and the wonderful young women who love us," said Remus with a grin that managed to mask the growing sadness in his eyes.

"I must insist that you stop calling me old," said Severus, clinking cups with his fellow professor and resisting the urge to smile.

"And you should get to breakfast, Severus, before your ball and chain notices that you're missing," said Remus with a chuckle.

Severus rinsed his cup and left it to find its own way back to the cupboard. At the door he turned and looked at Remus, who was gazing out the window and over the school grounds. He had a sudden thought concerning their banter.

"You use humor to deflect everything, don't you?" Severus questioned.

"Sometimes it's the best thing. In some situations ... in circumstances like these ... it is quite frequently the only thing," Remus answered with a weary half-smile.

Later that day ...

Ginny Weasley had never imagined that her sixth year would end up being so wonderful. Granted, she had come through a close encounter with a demon and several days of being trapped in a different realm of existence to get there, but whenever she looked at Remus, not to mention the way she noticed him looking at her, she was certain that it had been worth it. She closed the book she was reading, a rather dry text on defense against curses to prepare her for the next lesson that her tutor wanted to teach her, and glanced over at Remus, who was working at his writing desk while she lounged on the couch.

It was ironic. He had almost seemed more at ease during their imprisonment than he did now. But then, Ginny suspected that something had happened to him after her escape, something that had truly rattled him. She had tried to get him to tell her about his journey from the Divinations classroom to the prefects' bath, but he always managed to change the subject. Remus was good at being evasive. He had kept the secret of his lycanthropy from many people. Maybe through keeping that secret he had become better at keeping others. But Ginny really wanted to know what he was keeping from her and why.

"Remus? Are you almost done grading papers?" she asked with a little yawn as she sat up and set her book aside.

He smiled over his shoulder at her and said, "I believe I can take a break if that's what you're asking, Ginny."

She nodded and motioned for him to join her on the couch. Remus laid his quill aside and sat down heavily next to her. He didn't mind the interruption. The rolls of parchments on topics like Practical Uses for Kneazles or Defense Techniques Against Dragons from his third year students could wait, at least for a little while. He liked this part of their relationship. Quality time, Ginny called it. He pulled her into his arms and felt her sigh softly.

"Something the matter?" he questioned.

"If only I could ask you that and get a straight answer," she thought, looking upon to his troubled eyes. "Remus ..." she began to say, pausing when she felt his stiffen slightly. He knew that tone of voice already. "What happened in there?" she asked.

He admired her persistence and her perceptiveness. Ginny just seemed to know when something was bothering him. He considered telling her that he was just worried about the war and the safety of everyone in the castle. It wouldn't be a lie exactly. Unpleasant thoughts about the conflict had been troubling him for quite some time, the only respite ironically being their time in the prison realm. But Remus didn't think that Ginny would accept that answer. It would be just one more thing to worry about for her when she was obviously quite busy worrying about him.

It was time to tell her the truth about what was plaguing him, though he did not want to do it. It would frighten her, of course, but the account of what had happened during his escape he feared could possibly change the way she saw him for the worse. It had reawaken misplaced feelings of guilt and shame in himself that Remus believed had long been dealt with. What would her reaction be?

"I spoke to one of them," Remus admitted to her, closing his eyes as he said those words.

"You spoke to one of the demons?" she questioned for clarification.

"That's right."

Ginny shivered slight at the thought and asked, "What did it say to you?"

"The demon said that I was ... that since I am a werewolf ... that I am a Dark Creature like them ... their kindred. I was permitted to return, unchallenged and unharmed, only because they believed that I would kill and destroy in their place, that I am exactly like them," he confessed to her.

"Surely you can't believe that," said Ginny, looking deeply into his eyes.

"When I was a child, I often wondered if I was bitten, if I had become a werewolf, because I was bad. It was a long time before I understood that it wasn't my fault and that I didn't have to let the few nights I spend as a werewolf every month define who I am as a person. But as an adult, I haven't often thought of such things. What the demon said ... it was so unexpected that I suppose it blind-sided me. It's not easy to shrug off something like that," said Remus.

"Of course not," Ginny said sympathetically.

She touched his cheek and smiled rather sadly, seeing the pain and shame in his eyes. He didn't believe those terrible words, she knew, but they had reawakened doubt in his heart concerning his own nature. He caught her hand and held it for a moment.

"Come here," she said softly, pulling Remus toward her.

After a bit of pulling and gentle tugging Remus found himself lying down on his side with his head in Ginny's lap. She stroked his hair and hushed him as he tried to say something. She knew that it would be a flippant remark or an attempt to change the topic. She wouldn't put it past him to try and discuss the weather or tomorrow's Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. Ginny rubbed his shoulder and back and watched the turbulent expression in his eyes mellow.

Remus drew his knees up and felt himself begin to relax. Ginny was everything he had ever needed. She had said very little regarding his conversation with the demon. She didn't need to do so, he realized, as she ran her fingers through his graying hair before kneading his shoulder. Ginny was able to convey her sentiments, her opinion of the whole affair, with just those gentle touches. What had happened changed nothing about how she felt about him.

For a moment Ginny thought that Remus might break down in tears, but instead he merely closed his eyes. The tension in his shoulders dissipated. To Ginny he seemed more relaxed and at ease than he had been in days. The mystery of what had been troubling him had been solved. She was rather pleased that it was something so simple, although she was also certain that it had seemed anything but that to Remus. She could not imagine what had been going through his mind since the encounter. She suppressed the urge to shudder and merely continued to comfort Remus.

"I love you, Ginny," he said quietly.

Leaning down and kissing him softly on the temple, she said in tender reply, "And I love you too."

Ginny wanted to do something to take his mind off the incident, something that would make him feel better too. Her hand brushed against his side. He wiggled slightly. She grinned as she realized that he was ticklish. For a moment a distinct resemblance between Ginny and two of her more mischievous brothers could be seen.

"Remus, tell me, are you by any chance ..." she began to ask in an almost mock-innocent voice.

He knew that tone. Not so much because of Ginny using it, but it reminded him of a few of his old school chums, who found it to be the height of absurdity that a werewolf was ticklish and would scream like a little girl if some of happened to cast Rictusempra on him, though they, like Ginny, were also never reluctant to use the old fashioned method too.

"Now, Ginny ..." he started.

But it was too late. She had seven brothers of various ages and abilities, including Charlie, Fred, and George who never happened to treat her like porcelain, especially if their parents weren't around. And somewhere between boisterous Charlie and the terrible twins, Ginny had become an expert tickler. Before Remus even knew what was happening, he had dissolved into a helpless fit of gasping laughter and what sounded suspiciously like giggles.

"What were you saying?" Ginny asked, grinning at him almost ferociously as her fingers dug into his sides.

Of course, Remus couldn't say anything, though some of his giggles sounded suspiciously like, "Stop it!" or perhaps even "Please!"

In that situation Remus did the only thing that he could do, as he was far too old to scream for help. He tried to tickle Ginny back, which only naturally required a good deal of twisting and turning. The end result of his brief, but valiant struggle was a loud thud as they both wound up on the floor with Ginny on top.

Remus groaned from the impact and said, "I surrender. Do what you will."

"You know ... I would really like to take you up on that ..." said Ginny rather seductively, switching gears faster than Remus would have ever dreamed possible. "But I'm afraid that if I did that, it would violate a number of agreements we've made," she finished with a slight pout. How much of it was a put-on, Remus could not tell.

She leaned down and kissed his slightly parted lips. He was still winded from their little tickle-fight, which had been almost utterly one-sided thanks to Ginny's many years of surviving her brothers. The playful look had yet to leave her eyes as she kissed him.

Putting his arms around her, he mumbled in response to her observation, "Don't I know it."

Remus would never forget that night after the previous full moon began to wane. There had been a completely unsubtle knocking at the door to his private rooms. He had been dozing by the fire and was awakened rather suddenly. His wand was in his hand in an instant as he dashed toward the door, thinking that the final battle with Voldemort was about to begin. He had thrown open the door expecting to see Albus Dumbledore or perhaps Severus having come to collect him for the battle.

But it was none other than a red-faced Ron Weasley who greeted him with the words, "I'm here to defend my sister's honor."

Remus had lowered his wand, half unwillingly as Ron appeared quite ready to draw his at a moment's notice, and asked, "Is it in any danger?"

"You tell me, professor," said Ron.

Remus had invited Ron inside as the corridor was not the appropriate place to have such an exchange, especially if it were to come to blows.

"I have nothing but good intentions toward Ginny. I would never do anything to harm her or jeopardize her reputation or her future," Remus had explained to the young man.

"That's exactly what I was worried about, sir. You see, she's my only sister, and I'm the only brother that she has here to look after her now. Harry said that I shouldn't be so concerned, and I would like to believe that, but you are a lot older than Ginny," Ron told him, calming down as he realized that Professor Lupin was taking him seriously.

Remus nodded in an understanding manner and said, "And I am very glad that she has you, Ron. Very glad indeed. Your concerns are, of course, quite valid. I am a number of years older than either of you. Now what can I do to ease those concerns?"

Ron seemed to think very hard for a moment before replying, "I just don't know."

Remus had felt momentarily uneasy about the thought that if he could not convince Ron of his honorable intentions that the young man might bring his father, their father, into the matter, or worse yet, Molly Weasley, who could be something of a holy terror in any matter that even seemed to threaten her children. Remus knew that they would have to be told eventually, but he wanted to choose the time, preferably closer to the end of Ginny's seventh year, and the place, with any luck a place too public for either parent to hex him, to officially ask for permission to court Ginny. He was already considering the possibility of marrying her, if she would have him, though he acknowledged that it was premature to act on what was only a vague notion at present.

"Ron," Remus had said, "I give you my word of honor that my conduct with your sister will be above reproach, that I will in no way sully her good reputation or allow her to come to harm through any fault of mine."

Ron looked at him incredulously and said, "That was precisely what I needed to hear, professor."

"Good," said Remus with a slight smile.

When they had made that arrangement, Remus knew that Ginny would be perhaps mildly disappointed, but it was for the better, he realized. The last thing young Ginny needed was to become pregnant at the end of her sixth year, not simply because of the interruption in her studies or the effect it would have on her family and herself, but because of the impending war. And it simply wasn't a good time to start a family, not even if all of the other circumstances had been ideal. Not to mention that Remus would also have been very displeased if she acquired an ill reputation. He wanted to strangle some of his Slytherin students enough as it was.

And then for him there was also the question of ethics. There were rules, mostly unspoken and unwritten ones at Hogwarts, that would certainly have discouraged such an intimate relationship between a professor and his sixth year student. But for Remus it was more than a question of mere rules. Ethical conduct meant a lot to him, and he tried to uphold certain standards. It was one thing to be in love with a student. The questions Ron had raised were another entirely. The simple emotion of love would not sway how he treated Ginny in class or affect the grades she received from him. His professional and personal life could be separated. But other things could possibly hamper even his good judgment, and Remus was aware of that and would never let it happen.

With that thought Remus gave Ginny an affectionate kiss on the forehead and released her, chuckling as she reluctantly clambered to her feet and smoothed her robes. She understood the situation as well as he did.

"I suppose I had better finish up with those papers," he said, standing and smiling at her.

"And I should get back to the dormitories. I have some transfigurations' homework to do," she said with a small sigh.

"Have a good evening then," said Remus, giving her a peck on the cheek and noting that she seemed to have an unusual amount of work to do in that class. "Minerva must be assigning an exceptional amount," he thought as she left quietly.