Boiling Points

Boiling Points

Welcome to MTV's 'Boiling Points'. On today's show, we're taking on the wizarding world, one innocent victim at a time.

What happens when our undercover banker, Melanie, gives the wizards at Gringotts a hard time? Will they lose their cool or walk away with cold cash? Boiling point, seven minutes.

Minutes left 7:00--

*Lucius Malfoy walks in and sees that the only teller that's open is Melanie*

Lucius: Good afternoon, please give me the key to my vault, number 666.

Melanie: How much are you going to take out?

L: *slightly taken aback* Well...why? Why would that matter?

M: Gringott's customers are only allowed to take out one galleon, two knuts and one sickel per two hours.

L: *Raises an eyebrow* I've been here before, that's not their policy.

M: Oh I know, but it is now.

L: I think I should be allowed to take out more then that of my own money, shouldn't I?

M: Well, we're trying to cut down on labor, none of us feel like walking all the way down there so you can take your grand old time getting your money.

5:20--

L: *His face reddens and his jaw tightens* Now listen here, I don't think you know who you're talking to.

M: And I really don't care, now do you want y our money or not?

L: Of course I do! But i certainly want more then-

M: Well I'm sorry, but there's nothing I want to do about that.

L: Excuse me? Want?

M: I'm sorry, I meant can.

3:12--

L: Listen you little trollop, either you give me my money or I'll-

*Buzzer sounds and Melanie holds up her hand and gives him his key*

M: Here's your key, let me get one of the actual tellers to escort you. You're on MTV's hidden camera show 'Boiling Points' and since you lost your temper, you didn't win. Sorry.

*Lucius' eyes widen in anger and a vein throbs in his temple*

L: You did this for muggle entertainment? Expelliarmus!!

*Ten goblins come over, five to hold back Mr. Malfoy and lead him to his vault and the others go to help up Melanie*

Minutes left 7:00--

*Hermione walks in with her mother and comes over to Melanie's booth, who now has a small bandage on her brow.*

Hermione: Hello, we'd like to exchange ten pounds for wizarding money.

Melanie: I'm sorry, we're all out of wizarding money, but I can give you ten pounds.

H: *Looks very confused along with her parent* Umm...But that's how much I want exchanged...

M: Well, hey, at least you'll have ten extra pounds in your pocket right?

H: That's not going to do me any good when I'm going shopping in Diagon Alley now is it?

M: *Brow furrows and she winces, smoothing the bandage* No, sorry.

6:00--

H: Well, how can you run out though? You're Gringotts!

M: Hey kiddo, this stuff happens, it's the way your cookie's crumbling. Get used to it.

H: Excuse m- Oh I never! You're a very rude teller!

H's mom: So you're saying we can't get any money at all? My child needs to get her school supplies, this is ridiculous!

5:13--

*Melanie fishes around in her jeans and pulls out a knut*

M: Here you go, it's all I have, now you can get out and go shopping.

H: I can't buy anything with this!

M: Well I can exchange that into pence for you instead since we can't give out any wizarding money.

H: You're getting me very angry now. Please exchange these pounds for wizarding gold. I know you couldn't have run out since there are people walking out with gold now.

M: They're walking out with gold from their vaults. I suggest you think about getting one in the future to avoid situations like this.

3:49--

*Hermione leaps towards Melanie and punches her in the face*

*Buzzer sounds*

H: Wow, I keep getting better at this every time!

H's mom: *Shocked look on face* Hermione! Shame on you!

Minutes left 7:00--

*Ron walks in with his mom over to Melanie*

Melanie: Hello there, how may I help you?

Ron: I need the key to my vault, number 212.

M: Sure, just let me get that for you.

5:49--

*Molly Weasly taps her foot a little bit as she tries to wait patiently*

M: I'm sure it was here, hold on, I'll find it for you.

3:29--

MW: Do you need any help or...I mean what is taking so long?

M: Uh-oh.

MW: *murmurs to herself* This is so annoying and ridiculous.

R: Uh-oh? Now would this be a bad or good uh-oh?

M: I think it might be lost. When was it used last?

MW: Two days ago, but it wasn't misplaced and we gave it back to the goblin. There should be no reason it's lost.

M: I'm sorry, let me look for it again.

2:10--

M: I think, here we go! Number 220?

R: *Looks crestfallen* Er...no...number 212.

M: Ok hold on.

MW: Please hurry, we do have errands to run.

0:00--

*Buzzer rings and Melanie gets their key*

M: here we go, vault number 212.

R: Thank you.

M: Tell you what. Since you were so patient with me, I'm going to give you 100 sickles because you're on MTV's hidden camera show 'Boiling Points'.

*Molly starts to laugh and thanks Melanie while Ron jumps for joy*

R: Wait until I tell Hermione what happened!

Next time on MTV's 'Boiling Points', Brad pretends to be a musician at the Leaky Cauldron. Will the patron's get the money and withstand his awful singing? Or will Brad hit a wrong note? Right after this commercial break.

*Froofy commercial jingle comes on and a choir of little children sings while various pictures of a glowing, moving rug is on screen.*

It wriggles,

and jiggles,

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and squirms,

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*Commercial ends.*