Beware of the Fat Muggle In Love

     ------------------Beware of the fat Muggle in love part 13, "Conspiracy Theory"-----------

"How come you are interested in our job at a time like this, boy?"

Neville had turned his anger into the fuel he needed to speak to this heavy, rugged Auror by the name of Argyle, in order to get some well needed information about just how the hell they knew about Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail, and hadn't cleared Sirius Blacks name in all this time.

"I mean, with the tragedy of your friends and all, shouldn't this be pretty boring and not to mention the least of your concerns in the world?" Argyle continued in a kinder, but still firm, tone of voice.

Neville's face was still colored with soot and blood and tears, but he ignored the fact that less than half a year earlier, he'd have been on his knees, still crying, next to his friends.

But that was a totally different Neville Longbottom than the Neville that stood infront of this tall, intimidating man, trying to lure some answers out of him.

"I know, and I'm devastated by all this, but.... I intend to become an Auror myself when I graduate this year, so my questions would really help me out when I begin my training after next summer," Neville said trying to sound convincing.

Neville did actually want to speak with an Auror as he'd said, so it wasn't all a lie.

Besides, Ron had also become interessed in becoming an Auror (working at the Ministry together with his father and Percy did not appeal to him that much, to say the least.) so he'd be helping both of them and hopefully getting an answer to the whole Wormtail matter.

"Oh you're gonna be an Auror? What's your name, then?" Argyle asked acctually looking cheerful for a second and stroked his beard.

"Neville Longbottom," Neville replied.

Argyle's face fell.

"Oh. Longbottom, you say?"

Neville nodded.

"I knew your father," Argyle said and shifted from one foot to the other, looking around nervously.

"Did you?" Neville felt a bit excited about meeting one of his fathers friends. Maybe Argyle could tell him something about how his father was like before... before the Death Eater attack that sent both Frank and his wife to St Mungo's, completely insane that they didn't even recognise their own son anymore.

"Yes I did. We were good friends and served the same noble, magnificent man for seven years," Argyle said proudly.

"The Minister of Magic, you mean?" Neville said.

Argyle shook his head.

"Tell me. Have you gotten you letter from Mr Malfoy yet?"

Nevilles heart lept up into his throat and his stomach sank with a thump.

Neville didn't know what to make of this.

For a second he lost himself and almost threw up from the mental tension he'd gone through the last few days.

But he didn't.

Instead he smiled back into Argyle's face.

You have to act evil for a while, Neville, he thought to himself.

If you don't we might never understand what the hell Lucius Malfoy wants with me or who is behind blowing up the pub and most of all...what the connection between all of this is.

"Of course I have. And I'm sorry to say that the job I was supposed to do has been done for me," Neville said with an inner anguish he'd never felt before.

Argyle looked curious.

"Really? What was your job, if I might ask?" he said and stroked his beard again.

Neville swallowed.

"I was going to take care of Joey Jackson. But since he died in the explosion, well..." Neville said and tried to smile.

"Yes, well that is a shame. I'm sure that if you owl Mr Malfoy he'll give you a new job to take care of. After all, your first murder is an important one if you are to make it as a D.E," Argyle said and patted Neville's back.

Neville knew that it was now or never if he were to find out who was the brains here.

"You wouldn't mind telling me who's behind this, would you?" Neville felt the sweat break out on his forehead (his armpits had been soaked for a good five minutes already) and tried to casually wipe it off with his frayed robe sleeve.

"Would if I knew that myself! My group doesn't get to know about hits like these," Argyle said.

"Your group?" Neville asked.

"I'm the leader of this team of Aurors. We're seven in this team but teams can be in any numbers from two to ten, depending on how good you get along with other Aurors."

"And...was my father in your team? Before..."

"The accident? No, he wasn't."

"Accident? But I thought..."

"I know, it was the dumbest mistake ever! Barty Crouch Jr and his team of Death Eaters misstook your parents for real Aurors and put Cruciatus on them! But they've all paid the price for that, I can tell you," Argyle said and almost started laughing but stopped himself.

Neville sank through the ground.

Here he stood face to face with a Death Eater that claimed to be and old friend with his father and said that Frank Longbottom too was a loyal Death Eater!

He needed to get back to Hogwarts and breathe! Get some time for himself to digest this, let it sink in.

Did he believe Argyle?

A man he'd never seen before in his life?

How else could he know about the letter from Lucius Malfoy?

"He's proud of you, you know," Argyle said suddenly.

"What? Mr Malfoy?"

"No no no!"

"Do you mean...The Dark Lord?" Neville said and couldn't hide the trembling in his voice anymore.

"No! Your father! He tells me about how you've grown everytime after you and you grandmother's been to visit him,"

"WHAT!!?" Neville shouted.

Several people around them turned their heads and looked at them and Argyle put his finger over his mouth to quiet him.

"Shhh! Don't scream like that!" Argyle whispered and came closer to Neville.

"Are you telling me you didn't know Frank was cured?"

"I...I... I have to go!" Neville said and ran away towards the castle.

He cried the entire way up to Gryffindor Tower, threw himself on his bed and just wanted to disappear.

All of the things Argyle had told him went flying around in his head, making him even more dizzy than before.

He eventually fell asleep and didn't wake up untill Sunday afternoon.

"Fourteen dead?" asked Flitwick as he wiped a tear from his eye. Lupin looked as if someone had torn his heart out. From the southern end of his body.

"Yes, and I don't think it was a random act of terrorism from the Death Eaters side this time," said Albus Dumbledore, sitting behind his desk.

"What do you mean, Albus?" asked McGonagall.

"Think about it, woman! Who were killed?" Snape said in his surly voice while he was leaning against the windowpanes.

"Sibyll Trelawney, Brian Batteler and Joey Jackson amongst others. And among those who lived were Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and his cousin Dudley Dursley and Neville Longbottom," he continued.

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" McGonagall asked just as surly.

Snape waved to Dumbledore to explain as he himself seemed to irritated to do it.

"You see, Minerva. Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom were up here and told me anout some interesting things that has put quite a spin on things which we all thougth was the truth," Dumbledore said in his calm voice.

"It seems that Frank Longbottom was a Death Eater before he and his wife were put under Cruciatus which made them insane..."

Flitwick, Lupin and McGonagall's eyes flew up high on their brows.

"..and it also seems that the same team of Aurors that brought Barty Crouch Jr and his fellow Death Eaters before the Wizards council, were also Death Eaters and still are." Dumbledore continued.

He got up and started walking around in the room looking at all of the strange objects on his shelves as if he looked at them for the first time.

"And just a few days ago, Neville Longbottom received a letter from Lucius Malfoy telling him to kill Joey Jackson as his first task as a Death Eater."

He started petting Fawkes and making baby noises at him as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"But, even if Neville would have killed Joey Jackson, which he never would, he wouldn't have had time to do so as Joey was killed in the pub. Now, while Neville was outside helping his boyfriend, Dudley Dursley, Harry Potter had gone inside the pub in search of survivors. Brian Batteler was dead and Sibylle Trelawney died in his arms," Albus stopped talking for a second, looking thoughtful.

"Trelawney's last words were a prediction. I and Severus have worked it out and know what it means, which is basically this; Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom and Dudley Dursley will play a crucial part in the death of Voldemort!"

Flitwick and McGonagall gasped. Lupin ran his fingers through his hair.

"Albus, do you really believe Sibyll to be true?" McGonagall asked.

"I know all about how you feel about Divination, Minerva. But yes, I do believe her," he said as he'd made his way back to his chair and sat down again.

"You forgot one thing, Albus," said Snape.

Everyone looked at him.

"Argyle's team of Aurors know that Peter Pettigrew is still alive!" he said.

"Is this true?" said Flitwick.

"I'm afraid so."

"What do you suggest we do, then?" McGonagall asked.

Dumbledore pointed to Remus Lupin who stopped biting his fingernails.

"Erhm, yes! I thought it would be a good precaution if Harry and his friends would be taught extra lessons in Defens Against the Dark Arts in case of this prophecy actually coming true and that we restart the Dueling club, so that every student can have a chance at beating some Evil Wizard ass!" Lupin said and crossed his legs, one knee over the other.

"Well, that seems like a good idea," said Flitwick and scratched his head.

"Plus, they should all start learning the Animagus transformation, too! Or at least do the test and see which of them can do the transformation," Lupin added.

"Well, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are all ready in training and shoul be done by Christmas, but I dont' know about the rest of them..." said McGonagall.

"I guess we will have to see how it turns out! But first of all, they must be allowed to mourn their friends. We will tell them about the plan and let them mourn for a month before the training," said Dumbledore and thereby dissmissing the meeting.

The teachers went to their quarters for the night and got ready for another day of teaching.

But with a vail of sorrow in the air.

The funeral was a collective one and the sermon took place on the magically enlarged front lawn of the Hogsmeade church.

Half of the school attended and most of them were crying.

Harry and Cho were sitting, holding hands, next to Ron and Hermione.

Dudley and Neville sat behind them, next to Ginny, Dennis Creevey and Ernie Macmillan.

Crabbe and Goyle were also there, as were the entire Hogwarts staff, sitting in the front row.

Malfoy was sitting in the back row and when Neville looked at him, he saw that he was trying, in vain, to suppress a smirk.

When the priest had finished his speach and the pallbearers came to carry to coffins to their final destination, Neville noticed the song that was being played.

He recognised it as a song by a Muggle singer.

He'd heard it on the radio when he'd been at Privet Drive last summer, but he couldn't remember the name of either the song or the singer.

(And the thought crosses my mind,

if I never wake in the morning.

Would she ever doubt

the way I feel about her in my heart?

If tomorrow never comes,

does she know how much I love her?

Did I try in every way,

to show her every day,

That she's my only one?)

Neville saw that Harry was crying and Cho was holding him silently.

He felt empty for a moment, knowing there was little he could do to ease his friends pain.

Then a part of the song caught his attention.

(So I made a promise to my self,

To say each day how much you mean to me.

And avoid that circumstance,

where there's no second chance,

to tell her how I feel.)

He knew that this Muggle singer was absolutely correct!

He felt even more sorry for Harry; he hadn't gotten the chance to say goodbye and tell Brian what he meant to him.

I'm not going to let that happen to me and Dudley, he thought.

(And if my time on Earth would go,

and she must face this world without me.

Was the love I gave her in the past,

gonna be enough to last,

if tomorrow never comes?

So tell that someone that you love,

just what you're thinking of,

if tomorrow never comes.)

Later, when the wake was over and everyone had returned to the school, Neville pulled Dudley into the boys toilet on the first floor.

"I don't hink this is the time for this," Dudley began to say, but Neville kissed him and effectively shut him up.

"That's not why I pulled you in here," he said.

"All of this has made me realise that you should always let the one you love know how you feel about them," Neville continued.

"I want you to know I love you. I want us to always tell eachother this every chance we get, just in case something like this would happen again and we wouldn't be so lucky."

Dudley didn't say anything.

He pulled Neville closer to him and hugged him.

"I love you. Deeper than I even realise myself," he said.

Then, Neville remembered another line from the song.

"You're my only world."

Three weeks passed and the sounds of cries, echoing through the corridors, were replaced with some of the more normal sounds of laughter and moans over extra Potions homework (and of course a scream or two when a Charm or Tranfiguration went wrong. It was mostly Seamus, Lee and Dean that caused them.)

Dudley and Neville were still together and were now showing their affection openly between classes and had gotten about thirty points taken from both Gryffindor and Slytherin fro indeacent exposure, mostly in the Astronomy Tower, but also in odd places, such as The Great Hall after lights out (on the teachers dining table), in the Lake(after a warming spell which caused the Giant Octopus to wake from it's hibernation and almost pulled both boys down into the depths with it) and they got caught once in Lupin's office.

Lupin however, laughed and even though he took (only) five points each, he did seem to look at them a bit too...hungry.

Dudley had said it was because it was so close to the fullmoon and he probably wanted to eat them.

Harry agreed, but in the case of HOW he wanted to 'eat them', Harry was of a different opinion, remembering his talk with Lupin a while back.

There was no doubt in his mind that Remus Lupin was a real sexual beast, ready to mount anyone who he found even remotely attractive.

Anyway, Dudley and Neville's open display of affection had inspired at least eight other couples to come out (not including Crabbe and Goyle who still weren't finished with their detention) not to mention all of the singles, who strangely enough had a majority of Hufflepuff students.

The rumors in the school were that Greenhouse number six was the hot spot for a quickie among the gays.

"Let the straights have the Astronomy Tower! It's so out anyway!" a fourth year Ravenclaw had said, but most people thought he was just smitten with the whole new gay scene and was nothing more than a wannabe homo.

Harry, Ron, Neville and Dudley were spending the Christmas holiday at the castle.

Dudley would have liked to go home, but when he thought about what Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would say about him being a Witchard was enough to scare him into staying.

Plus, Neville was staying this year.

"I sent a letter to my grandmother explaining why I'm staying this year, and I really hope she understands why. I have'nt told anyone except you guys about what Argyle said about my father and I don't think she could handle it yet," Neville said as he was taking a bite out of a piece of chicken.

"What are you going to do about that, anyway? Your father, I mean," Hermione said and hadn't noticed that her spaghetti had just lashed out and grabbed a meatball with it's 'tentacles' and looked like it was assimilating it.

Ron was however looking with a strange fascination, but keeping his distance in case it felt like having a bigger meal.

"I don't know. If what Argyle said is true, and my father is sane again, should I write him a letter? But if it IS true, that means he is also a Death Eater and I don't want to have anything to do with that," Neville said and was also starting to notice Hermiones spaghetti.

"Well you have to contact him and get some answers. If he replies you'll know what is the truth and if he doesn't, I guess Argyle is lying," she said.

"How do you figure that?" Harry asked as he raised his fork and aimed carefully for Hermione's spaghetti.

"Well, If he answers, that means he is sane again, of course! But if he isn't sane, he can't answer the letter, now can he?"

"Or he just wouldn't answer to not blow his cover! I don't know about you but being a Death Eater is a pretty serious crime and I've never heard of a Death Eaters lips flying so loosely as Argyle's, thereby making him a total idiot!" Ron said and seemed to be distracting the spaghetti with a meatball on his knife, while Harry sneaked up on it from behind.

"You might be right, but...Harry? What are you doing?" Hermione said and looked at him and then realised that half of the people around the table were observing her food with great interest.

"Shh! I've almost got it," Harry said and stabbed the spaghetti repeatedly and Ron joined him with his knife, both boys crying out things like 'Die, you monster' and 'I'm going to dance on your grave after I take a leak on it' and other things of equal dislike.

Hermione could have sworn that, when the onslaught was over and Harry and Ron had returned to their seats, the spaghetti sighed a last 'why?' to her before dying.

"How awful!" both Hermione and Ginny said and put their hands over their mouths.

"I know! Possesed food! It's really gross that demons would ever jump into food to try and kill something," Ron said.

Hermione pushed the plate away from her and didn't eat more that day.

"For the last time, NO!! I won't date you, you little sod!!" Malfoy screamed at a fifth year Slytherin boy who had just asked him out for the third time that week.

Dudley was sitting across from Malfoy in the Slytherin common room, drinking a cup of hot chocolate.

"Really, Dudley. Can you believe this? I've been asked out by thirteen different guys these past two weeks and not one single girl!" he continued

Malfoy turned and saw that the boy was still standing next to him, on the verge of breaking into tears.

"Are you still here? PISS OFF, YOU TWAT!!!" Malfoy screamed and caught the attention of a prefect who immediately walked over to him.

"What's going on here? Why's Pete crying, Draco?" the tall boy asked and looked very suspicious.

"None of your buisness, Virgil! Now why don't you continue disturbing someone else?" Malfoy answered and waved his hand at him.

"That's five points from Slytherin. For being a complete bitch!" Virgil said and walked away.

Malfoy gaped after him.

"That nut is on such a powertrip! Unbeliavable!" he muttered to himself.

"You should have thought twice about that, really," Malfoy said grumpily to Dudley.

"What did I do?" he said.

"Going around flaunting yourself with Longbottom, turning the school into some gaynest where you can't get some rest from every homo wanting you for your looks and money!" Malfoy said quite loud and acted as if this was some curse put on him.

"Flaunting?!? Showing affection in public is nothing compared to what you did with Hannah Abbot in Transfiguration class!!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know there would be a lesson there right then?" Malfoy said.

"It was our class! And you had a schedule with you!!" Dudley said.

"Well, she was satisfied anyway. Who cares about a little exhibitionism now and then?"

"A little? You were both buttnaked and everyone could see everything!! Nothing left for imagination there, I tell you!" Dudley said and finished his cup of chocolate.

"And what you just said is complete hippocracy! How come you are allowed to do such things in public, and I and Neville aren't?" Dudley said and felt pretty sick of this conversation.

"Well, it's plain to see! I'm normal and you guys are...how do you put it? Erh...Not normal! Well, like me, that is," Malfoy said and looked satisfied with that answer.

Dudley couldn't believe his ears.

"So. We are not normal?"

"Well..."

"And you are?"

"As I said.."

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Draco?" Dudley shouted and stood up.

"Nothing! All I'm saying is that I don't want all the queers after me! Why can't they just leave me alone?" Malfoy said.

"Is that all?" Dudley said, still pissed off.

"Well, yes!"

"Well, then. How come you tolerate my presence then?"

"But, you're different! You're not, like...a REAL homo. You're..." Malfoy said and had no idea how stupid he sounded.

"Not REAL?!?! You are so sodding dumb, I can't believe I hang with you!" Dudley said.

"Oh really? Then why don't you go to your little Gryffindor slut and betray the Slytherin spirit totally?!?!" Malfoy shouted back at him.

"I think I might just do that!! And leave you alone so you don't have another queer after you!!" Dudley screamed and walked towards the exit.

"Bitch!" Malfoy shouted after him.

"Squaw!!" Dudley replied.

"Asshole!!!"

"Upper vascular hood!!"

Malfoy shut up as he had no idea what the hell an upper vascular hood was and was actually quite confused by such an insult.

Dudley left the Slytherin dungeon with it's green lights and damp corners and headed for the library.

Malfoy sat down in his chair.

Confused.

He walked up to the dormitory and was just about to throw himself on his bed when he saw a Raven perched on a chair nearby.

He took the letter which read 'Draco Malfoy, Slytherin boys dormitory'.

He turned it around and saw it was from his father.

He immediately opened it and found a second letter inside it.

He ignored it and started reading.

"Draco, I have brilliant news for you!

Because of your success with your first job as a Death Eater, the Dark Lord has approved you as a loyal Death Eater and you will recieve the Dark Mark as soon as you come home for the Christmas holiday.

You have made me proud and you have brought honor to the Malfoy name.

It must have been a tricky job in placing so many bombs in such a little timeperiod, but it was beautifully done.

The result pleased all of the Death Eaters.

I do however have a second task for you.

You will give another future D.E his second job, as in your brilliance you accidentally took care of his first job.

I have enclosed a second letter with this one and you are to give it directly to Neville Longbottom as soon as possible.

     L. Malfoy."

---------to be continued in chapter 14, "Silent Night"--------