Harry Potter: Parselmouth

Ch.1 - He Could Talk to Snakes

Harry Potter sat in his room in the basement of Number 4 Privet Drive, watching a nature program on his small black and white television set. Across his lap sat his favorite pet, Shirley. Harry lived with the Dursleys, his aunt and uncle and his cousin Dudley, and had since his parents had been killed in a car crash when he was a baby, but these days he usually saw them only at mealtimes, which suited them all just fine.

Up until two years ago, on the day of Dudley's 9^th birthday, the Dursleys had frankly treated Harry horribly. He was regarded with contempt, more like a servant than a member of the family. The Dursleys had allowed him no amenities or creature comforts, and kept him locked in a small cupboard under the stairs when he was not cooking, cleaning or otherwise catering to their whims. All the while, the Dursleys had quite spoiled Dudley, throwing Harry's miserable existence into sharp contrast. But on that auspicious day, they all learned something about Harry that changed the way he would be treated forever. For Harry found that he could talk to snakes.

As he stroked Shirley's smooth, shiny scales, Harry smiled and reflected on the strange events that had changed his life two years ago. He remembered, like it had happened yesterday, the Dursleys, piling jauntily into the car for Dudley's birthday outing.

"Ha ha, cousin!" shouted Dudley in a singsong voice. "We're going to the movies and you can't come!"

Uncle Vernon nodded in approval at Dudley's nasty remark, and added with a malicious grin, "That's right boy, you'll not be getting out of your chores and ruining our evening that easily. You're to finish mucking the garden while we're gone, and then you just get going on the washing when you're done with that. If you're finished when we get back, you can make yourself a spot of supper, otherwise, you'll not eat until you're done!"

Harry could hear all three of the Dursleys laughing as the car pulled out of the driveway. He sighed, and got the rake out of the shed. He knew that he would not be getting a meal until late tonight. It would be difficult to finish all the work he had to do by 8 that evening when the Dursleys (he refused to think of them as his family) were due to come home. In any case, if he did, Uncle Vernon was sure to find fault with something he had done and make him do it over again, or just give him more work to do.

By now, Harry was used to this treatment and accepted it stoically. Life's just not fair, Harry had learned early on. He did not even remember his parents, taken from him in a random accident, who he sometimes imagined might have treated him better than the Dursleys did. His philosophy was, expect nothing from anyone, and no one will disappoint you. Harry had learned that if he kept his head down and got along with his work, he might just be ignored, which was about the best he could hope for in life.

Harry shrugged, dumped a bag of manure into Aunt Petunia's garden, picked up the rake, and got to work. The sun was hot that day, and as Harry spread the manure around, he began to sweat. He was thinking with longing about a nice cold glass of lemonade, which he had had at school a couple of times, and his attention began to wander. Consequently, he wasn't really watching what he was doing, and struck a long diamond-patterned snake with the rake.

The snake jumped, and so did Harry. Harry put his hand on his chest, and more to himself than anything, muttered, "Yikes! You startled me!"

The snake, however, reacted in a rather unusual fashion. It did not flee, but rose up and appeared to regard Harry for a moment. Its mouth opened, but instead of the hiss he expected, Harry thought he heard the snake say, "I startled you? I'm the one who got hit with the rake!"

Harry shook his head, thinking he had been out in the sun a bit longer than was good for him. The snake still regarded him calmly. Feeling kind of silly, Harry said tentatively, "Um, is anyone there?"

"Just me down here," replied the snake, and Harry was sure it was the snake that was talking this time.

"Oh boy, I think I'm cracking up!" said Harry with a nervous laugh.

"Me too," answered the snake, "I've never been able to speak to anyone before."

Harry gaped at the snake for a moment, then said, "So, uh, you've not always been a talking snake?"

"Me? Goodness no! I've just been hanging around this garden catching mice and raising my children, when along comes a boy with a rake, and BAM! I'm feeling a bit light-headed right now, to tell you the truth."

"I'm very sorry," said Harry, bending down to see if the snake had been injured badly. "You don't look too seriously hurt, I don't think. Um, I'm Harry by the way. What's your name?"

"I don't have a name, as far as I know," the snake replied.

"Well, let's see, I think I'll call you, hmm, are you a boy or a girl?"

"Oh, I'm a female, if that's what you mean," replied the snake politely.

"Well then, I'll call you Shirley, if it's ok with you," said Harry with a smile.

"Yes, that would be fine," answered Shirley with a shake of her tail.

"Well, it's pretty hot out here, would you like to come inside for a drink of water?"

Shirley nodded, and Harry began to laugh. "I'm standing out here in the sun, inviting Shirley the snake to come inside for a drink of water. Well, I may be crazy, but if I am, I like it! You are certainly the most interesting, uh, creature, I've ever met, Shirley."

Harry picked up Shirley and brought her inside. He got himself a glass of ice water, and put some more in a shallow saucer on the floor for Shirley. After they had had their drink, they began to talk, and had a strange conversation indeed. Shirley asked Harry why she never saw any of the Dursleys working around the house, and Harry explained his sorry lot in life as the Dursley's de-facto servant. He found Shirley to be a good listener, and soon forgot how marvelous it was that he was sitting in the kitchen conversing with an adder.

When he had finished his tale, Shirley wound around his ankles, and said, "Harry, that's just a sad, terrible story. I'd like to teach your relatives a lesson in how to treat their young. Please, let me help you."

Harry sat still for a moment, thinking. He would certainly like it if the Dursleys didn't treat him so badly. "Alright, I'd appreciate that, but what can we do?"

Although he knew it was impossible, he could have sworn that Shirley smiled. "I've got a couple of ideas, Harry, and I think my family can help us. Here's what we'll do..."

At ten minutes after eight that evening, a blue sedan pulled up into the driveway of Number 4 Privet Drive. As he got out of the car, Uncle Vernon smiled sinisterly. "Look, Petunia, that worthless nephew of ours hasn't even finished with the garden yet! Well, he'll be back out here straight away to finish the job, and then I've got a couple other things for him to do to reward him for his laziness. He won't be getting any sleep tonight!"

All three of the Dursleys laughed in anticipation of the humiliating punishment Harry was about to receive. When they opened the door to the living room, however, they saw Harry seated in Vernon's armchair watching the television. Vernon swelled in indignation. First, Harry knew he was not allowed to watch television, and second, no one was allowed to sit in Vernon's chair. Although the Dursleys were not physically abusive toward Harry, this affront had earned him a rap on the hand at the least, thought Vernon with satisfaction.

A grim expression on his face, Vernon yelled, "Just what do you think you're on about, boy! You get out of my chair this instant!"

Dudley and Petunia watched with smug expressions. Surely, Harry was about to leap out of the seat, contrite at being caught in the worst bout of rule breaking that they could remember.

However, something was wrong. Harry turned in the chair and smiled, he actually smiled. "Can you keep it down, Uncle?" he said. "I can't very well hear my program with you blustering about, can I?"

Dudley gasped. Oh, Harry was going to get it this time, he thought.

Vernon's face turned purple with rage. "You'll pay for that cheek, boy!" he shouted, as he raised his hand and began to stride quickly toward Harry.

Harry reached out lazily toward Uncle Vernon, and luckily for him, Vernon could not help but notice that he was holding a large, angry, hissing snake. Vernon recognized it as poisonous. He stopped in shock and fear, and exclaimed, "Careful, you idiot, that's a poisonous adder you've got there!"

Still smiling in an amused fashion, Harry responded, "Yes, I know, her name's Shirley. She's my new pet."

His anger rising, Vernon shouted, "You'll not have a pet in here boy, I won't allow it..."

But as Harry stood up and walked calmly toward Vernon, the poisonous adder held out before him, Vernon blanched and was silent. Petunia and Dudley looked on in shock.

The snake writhed, spit and hissed. "Careful Uncle, she doesn't like it when you talk to me that way. No, I'm afraid I'm going to keep her."

Vernon's eyes narrowed, and he stared at the snake fearfully. "I'll have that bloody beast's head off before you know it, boy, and then you'll wish you were never born."

To the amazement and fear of the Dursleys, Harry smile only broadened. "I thought you'd say something like that. C'mon out, everybody, and meet the Dursleys." At that point 6 or 7 additional adders came out from under the couch, behind the drapes, in the fireplace, and even down from the rafters. As two snakes approached her, Petunia swooned and fainted, and Dudley stood stock still, whimpering.

"You see, Uncle, these snakes do what I tell them to. And you never can tell where one of them might be. In your chair, under the sink, in your car, even in your bed, perhaps. If you ever do anything to me again, they'll be very angry." At this point, Harry's grin was replaced by a dangerous frown. "And if you harm just one of them, I'll set the rest on you all!"

"Oh, you'll set them on us, will you, boy?" asked Vernon, trying to regain his former bravado. "How will you do that?"

"Like this," replied Harry. "Please stand perfectly still, Uncle." Harry began to make what sounded to the Dursleys like nonsensical hissing sounds, and then said, "Two of my friends are coming to meet you, Uncle."

Two of the snakes, in response to Harry's commands, began to slither across the floor toward Vernon, who now stood frozen in terror. The snakes wound themselves around Vernon's legs, and climbed all the way up onto his shoulders.

"See, I told you, they listen to me," said Harry simply. "Now, you all go sit on the couch, and we'll have a little talk. Please move very slowly, you don't want to frighten them."

Vernon and Dudley helped Petunia to her feet, and as they moved slowly toward the couch, Dudley remarked, "Wow, I can't wait to tell the kids at school about this."

Harry was shocked by Vernon's response. He grabbed Dudley's arm, and said harshly, "You'll not say one word about this to anyone, do you understand me Dudley? Not one word!"

Dudley began to whimper again. Harry was not surprised, as he had never heard his uncle or his aunt as much as raise their voices toward Dudley, regardless of how outrageous his behavior might be.

Vernon pushed Dudley, still whimpering, onto the couch next to his mother, and sat down heavily. "Well, boy, what is it that you want?" he asked with a sneer.

"Basically," began Harry, "I want you all to just let me be."

Harry and the Dursley's worked out an arrangement that was satisfactory, although certainly not to the liking of the Dursleys at all. Harry was allowed to move out from his cupboard and occupy the basement, where he would stay with Shirley and two of the other snakes. The rest of the snakes went back out to live in the garden, but came and went as they and Harry pleased through an entrance he created in one of the basement windows. Just to keep the Dursleys in line, Harry would occasionally send one or more of the snakes up through the laundry chute to patrol the house. Harry still did some chores, although they had been cut back to a reasonable amount, and he came up to the kitchen to get his meals, which he then took down to the basement to eat with his pets.

All in all, Harry spent as little time as possible with the Dursleys, and they barely acknowledged his existence. From his side, Harry had agreed to keep his strange ability to converse with snakes (for he had found he could talk to any snakes that he came across) a secret from everyone except the Dursleys, who were quite anxious to keep Harry's "abnormality" hidden. In an effort to keep Harry content and quiet, they even bought him some toys, and he was given Dudley's old black and white television, a radio, some new clothes of his own, and a new bed. His life, although still frugal by most measures, had become bearable, and his snakes were the first real friends he had ever had.

Now, as Harry approached his eleventh birthday, he was looking forward to the end of the summer. He would be going to public school while his cousin was going to Smeltings, Uncle Vernon's old boarding school. This meant that, for the first time, he and Dudley would not be in school together, further severing the weakening ties Harry had to his "family".

Harry was interrupted by a knock at the basement door. This was a surprise; the Dursleys almost never bothered him anymore when he was "in his lair", as he had heard Petunia put it. Harry stood and put Shirley down on the chair on which he had been sitting. He walked up the stairs, unlocked and opened the door, and there stood his aunt, nervously clutching a letter.

"What do you want?" asked Harry brusquely.

"Uh, Harry, we need to talk. You got a letter."

"Well, give it here then," he said, pulling the letter from her hands and glancing at it before opening it.

The letter was written on fine parchment, and addressed to "Harry Potter, The Basement, Number 4 Privet Drive, Surrey." The letter looked quite mysterious to him, and although the Dursleys would not dare to open anything addressed to him anymore, his aunt was very nervous, almost as if she knew what news the letter contained.

Harry opened and read the letter quickly, and with an increasing sense of shock. He had been accepted to someplace called "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry". For a moment, he thought it might be some kind of joke, but from the expression on his aunt's face, he knew it was not. In addition, being able to talk to snakes had led Harry to accept that the world was not like his relatives and most other people might believe it to be, that there were mysteries and wonders of which he was only dimly aware.

"This letter says I've been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," said Harry. "Do you know anything about this, Aunt Petunia?"

She looked nervous and sighed, and at last replied guiltily, "Yes, Harry. That's where your mom and dad met. They both went to Hogwarts."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "So they were both wizards? And you never told me? Why not?" he asked angrily.

"Uh, well Harry, uh, the subject never really came up, you know. I wanted to tell you," she whispered quickly, "but your uncle wouldn't let me."

"Yeah, sure," said Harry, "Thanks for the letter. Bye." He finished, closing the door in her face.

Harry sat down and read the letter again. It told him to expect a visit from a representative of Hogwarts in two weeks time to discuss the school, find out if he chose to attend, and go over details of the admissions process. He could hardly wait to find out more about this mysterious wizard school.

"Guess what, Shirley?" said Harry to his snake, who had curled up in her favorite spot on top of his television. "It looks like I won't be going to public school after all."