On Hold

On Hold

The Gryffindor common room was almost deserted, as all the students and their luggage were currently boarding the thestral-drawn carriages to ride to Hogsmeade. Only two students remained. As prefects, Ron and Hermione were charged with making sure nothing had been left behind.

“Another headless hat.” Hermione straightened up from behind a sofa. “You’d think people would be more careful with their things.”

“We’re not all as organised as you, love,” Ron replied from the other side of the room, his back to her. Hermione blushed. Although it felt wrong to be smiling so soon after Dumbledore’s funeral, she couldn’t help but feel happy that she and Ron seemed to finally be together. But there was still something troubling her.

“Ron…” she started. He turned round and looked at her, the seriousness in her tone evident. When she didn’t continue, he moved over to her and slipped his hand into hers, squeezing slightly.

“What’s up?” he asked, in a tone quite unlike him.

“I was thinking - about us. There is an us now, isn’t there?”

Ron gave a slightly bitter laugh.

“’Mione, there should have been an us for the past three years. Now that I’ve finally got a clue, you surely can’t be having second thoughts?” He looked so downcast that Hermione had to reassure him at once.

“Never. You’re right, we shouldn’t have messed around for so long, and I’m glad we’re together. But well, there’s Harry.”

Ron raised his eyebrows.

“What about Harry? He’s got Ginny, remember?”

“That won’t last. Oh, not because he doesn’t like her,” Hermione hastened to add, as Ron’s eyes flashed dangerously. “But because Harry’s got … well, he’s got to go after Voldemort, that’s what he said, isn’t it? He’s probably already finished with her.”

Ron ran a hand through his hair.

“So you think that because Harry’s being all noble and that, we ought to do the same?”

Hermione looked beaten.

“I don’t know, Ron. Are we more of a target together? Or do you think we’re in deep enough anyway?”

Ron chuckled.

”Only you would analyse a relationship in this much detail,” he grinned, “No, that’s a good thing!” he added quickly.

“I just…I don’t know.”

Ron looked as if he wanted to say something about that, but held his tongue.

They stood in silence for a moment.

“The carriages will leave in a minute,” Ron said, breaking the calm. Hermione nodded, not moving. She bowed her head as if about to cry. Ron put his arms around her, tentatively. Although he had been holding her at the funeral, this was different, somehow. Hermione leaned against him.

“I don’t want to go, Ron. I’m scared.”

“Don’t want to leave Hogwarts?”

“That, and I don’t want to go on this mad trek to kill Voldemort,” Hermione said. Ron looked startled.

“But we have to go, Hermione. Harry can’t do it without us.”

Hermione looked at the floor for a moment, then looked back at Ron with haunted eyes.

“But I’m scared,” she said again, in a small voice. “I’m not brave like Harry, like you. All I’m good for is answers in class.”

Impulsively, Ron pulled her close and held her tightly.

“’Mione, we need you. Harry’s a leader, a fighter. He doesn’t have time to think of plans, and doesn’t see things like you do. And me, I’m just the follower. I’ll do whatever Harry tells me, but I can’t think like you.”

“You’re more than a follower,” Hermione said, her voice muffled by her hair and Ron’s chest.

“No, ‘Mione, I’m not,” Ron said shrugging. “But it’s ok. Every team needs a follower. Just like every team needs a leader, that’s Harry, and a smart person, that’s you.”

“Ron, do you think I’d have agreed to be your girlfriend if you were “just” a follower?” Hermione demanded, wriggling out of his grasp. “You’re one of the bravest people I know, and you don’t even have to be! Harry has to do this, and he knows it. You could stay here, sit your NEWTs next year, and not worry about Dark Lords or Horcruxes. But you wouldn’t even consider that. You’re going off to fight, to do the right thing. That’s bravery, Ron.”

Ron held his hands up in mock defeat.

“OK, I understand. But seriously, I think we know we need to go together. Even back in first year, we were strong together, while we’d have had no chance individually.”

“When did you get so wise?” Hermione managed a weak joke.

“There’s something more, isn’t there?” Ron asked shrewdly. Hermione moved back close to him.

“It’s what you said about us being strong together. The three of us are strong together, but I can’t see how we’d work it if we were two and one.”

“So you really do want to end it.” It wasn’t a question. Ron pulled away abruptly and moved to the window. He stared out across the grounds, the hoops of the Quidditch pitch visible against the sky.

For a moment, the two stood separated.

“I don’t want to end it, Ron, but I can’t see it’s going to work while we’re with Harry. Don’t think of it as ending, more as putting it all on hold for a while.”

Hermione moved over to the window, and tentatively reached for Ron. He put his arms around her from behind and held her close.

“I do love you Hermione - I know we’ve only been together properly for a few hours, but I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now.” Ron rested his chin on Hermione’s bushy hair, looking out into the distance.

“I know what you mean,” she replied. Ron didn’t need to hear the words to know she was echoing his sentiments.

Is this the end already
Or is it just the start?
I can’t believe it’s taken so long
For me to believe my heart
And just when I realised it
We must do other things
It seems unfair this is the end
Before it even begins

So long we’ve danced around it
But when it all comes clear
It seems that it must be put off
Perhaps for many years
But I don’t want to think it’s over
I have to think there’s hope
Cos I can’t imagine me without you
Can’t see how I’d cope

So we’ll put our love on hold
And maybe when we’re old
We’ll look back and say this made us strong
But wherever we may go
One thing I’ll always know
I will love you all my life long

Do you know how much I need you?
Right now, he needs us more
And we can’t make the time for us
If we’re off to distant shores
I’ll never not have time for you
Just say you’ll never leave
Already I’m too much part of you
And that’s why I believe

That we can put our love on hold
And one day, when we’re old
We will look back and say this made us strong
And wherever we may go
One thing that we both know
Our love will last all our lives long

And I can take on anything
If you’re there by my side
I’ll face the dark and bring it down
And then make you my bride
You are my rock, you are my help
I’m nothing without you
But as long as we’re together
There’s nothing we can’t do

So we will put our love on hold
And I know, when we’re old
We’ll look back on our love that stayed so strong
And everywhere we go
We will always know

This love is strong enough to last
Put everything else in the past
Our love will shine through unsurpassed
And will remain all life long

Ron stroked Hermione’s hair absentmindedly.

“It’s going to be hard, you know,” he said conversationally, still looking over the pitch. “I’ve already got used to holding you like this, I’m going to miss it.”

“You can still hold me sometimes,” Hermione said, turning to him. “We just can’t take it any further. It already seems to be moving so fast…”

“Yeah, “ Ron said, “But then, we don’t need to do all that couple stuff about getting to know each other, do we? We’ve spent the last six years doing that.”

Hermione just smiled warmly at him, and nestled her head back on his chest.

“Just never leave me?”

“Never.”