academic curiosity

Lily was a bit on edge next morning, the OWLS exams had commenced for the fifth years and Lily´s friends were running around frantically from the library to the common room, stricken faces affixed on the open pages of giant books. For once no one talked of war casualties or one of the many new and ridiculous laws put into effect by the Ministry for protection against the Death Eaters, in a hope that was as desperate as the fifth year´s in their late studying.

"How was the date with Venkmen yesterday?" Debra Skitter asked out of politeness when Lily set down next to her to go over her Tranfiguration notes.

Lily smiled and shrugged.

"Don´t kiss and tell, do you," Frank Longbottom mused.

"You say that in a very jaded voice," Debra commented with a grin as Lily stuck her nose in her notes and out of any business of Longbottom´s. She would rather not know about Frank´s girl troubles, thank you.

She saw Remus Lupin at the end of one table nearby, also studying. It seemed awfully unfair that he was still expected to do exams, his father put in his grave not even a month ago. She looked away just as Potter came and sat next to him looking over Remus´ shoulder at the book and whispering something that made them both snicker.

"Exams are sooooo boring," Lily could hear a girl sighing sorrowfully.

Lily rather relished in the change of regular routine. Panicking over school work was much less stressful for her than the wizarding war and the blunders of their government.

*****

They had finished one of the written portions of their OWLS exams in the Great Hall and Lily and her friends were airing out on the edge of the lake. The weather was mild and cool and Lily was taking a great pleasure in the sunshine. She wondered if Ralph would be finished with his NEWTS exams soon. After a few minutes she looked over the tree line of the Forbidden Forest and recalled another day, similar to this one when a huge skull had erupted into the sky and students ran in panic back to the castle.

The others had taken their shoes and stockings off and were kicking up lake water. Lily simply watched, leaning on one hand.

"I´m a disgrace at Defense Against the Dark Arts," A slytherin named Celeste Harper was saying to them all, her feet causing splashes. "Like what on earth is a Erkling? Or a Doxy?"

Lily stared away, trying not to roll her eyes. She was in a headachy mood where things annoyed her that usually didn´t. Alia seemed to have sensed this because she was sitting far away from her.

No one seemed to be able to inform Harper of what these things were, though it was basic Defense so finally Lily said, "A doxy is a kind of vicious insect-fairy thing... Like a shrunken Tomoko Satori if you will." Alia and Nann Green laughed, the slytherin girls only smiled. It was glaringly apparent that Celeste lived with servants who took care of doxies, who were found in draperies and old trunks that didn´t have doxy balls to ward them off. "And an Erkling is like your Head of House but without the..." Lily made a open armed motion in front of her stomach indicating a pot belly, "and the general sense of goodwill."

"Slughorn," Flavia Ire said cooly, "Reminds me of a big spider in it´s web..."

"Oh no... Here´s another article about Stubby Boardman!" Nann Green cried out suddenly, from where she had been paging through a Teen Witch Weekly.

"Oooh! Can I have the clipping when you´ve finished reading it?" Celeste inquired.

"Looks a bit like Sirius Black," Lily commented with a smile as she leaned over to see the picture.

"Liar, you take that back!" Alia cried in mock disgust while the rest of the girls tore at the magazine and oohed, exams gratefully forgotten for time-being.

"I´m going to draw a mustache on him," Lily said, suddenly taken with a mischievous streak.

The other girls didn´t pay her any mind until a quill had been whipped out, still inky from her Defense written exam.

"AGGGH!" a girl was screaming, Lily hardly could tell which because they quickly became a mass of kicking and other defensive measures to protect the integrity of the Stubby Boardman clipping.

Lily flew belly down over two of the girls, Flavia was bending Lily´s ankle away from the rest of her body in an attempt to drag her off the others. Lily was outstretched, quill digging into the magazine as Nann wriggled in confusion. No one was sure who had the magazine in their grip, finally Celeste figured out that it was herself and as soon as Alia was done sitting on her arm she ripped the article away.

The girls rolled apart breathlessly and Celeste held out Stubby in dejected sadness.

"He has a mustache... On his forehead," she proclaimed.

Lily had also drawn a talk bubble saying, `Bon Jour.´

"That´s derogatory!" Alia decided out loud, pointing accusingly.

"Against French men?" Lily answered.

"Yes!" Alia replied.

"Yeah. I guess so, huh?" Lily offered. She was about to lean back with her arms behind her head on the sandy lake grass when she heard a voice yelling quite loudly from higher up on the bank, "EXPELLIARMUS!!!"

The girls froze and turned, like everyone else on the lawn around them. Lily narrowed her eyes when she saw the madcap hair do of James Potter next to Sirius Black. They both had wands out and were scrapping with a person she couldn´t see.

"Oh, there´s something NEW," Flavia said sarcastically. "Potter blasting at people with his wand. Wonders never do cease!"

Lily and Alia laughed. "One day he´s going to aim the wrong end and give himself a perm!" Alia added merrily.

"Looks like he´s already done that a few times," Lily joked though she sort of liked his unruly hair. She was hoping it was just a phase.

The girls laughed but they hushed as another flash of wand light lit up the outline of the bank and then shortly after they heard James inquire rudely, "How´d the exam go, Snivelly?"

Lily stood up, walked up the bank and saw that Severus Snape was lying on his belly in the grass, wandless and looking humiliated.

"I was watching him," Sirius sneered, "his nose was touching the parchment. There´ll be great grease marks all over it, they won´t be able to read a word."

"Why does he always do this?" Lily muttered at Nann, who was beside her now along with the others who had been sitting on the lake edge.

"Who?" Nann asked,

"Potter! What´s he trying to prove?"

But she didn´t get a answer because there was a lot of vicious laughter at Snape´s expense after what Sirius had said and Lily winced at Peter Pettigrew´s particularly shrill giggle. He was edging towards the scene like everyone else but daren´t move from behind the shadow his two more popular friends.

"You wait..." Snape was crying breathlessly. Lily straightened and saw that he was honestly distressed but was making a hidden motion for his wand, which must be lying in the grass nearby. He couldn´t retrieve it though. The spell he was under was like being bound in ropes. He looked ridiculous and pathetic and finally in fury he began to screech a long stream of unhappy things, half of them unsuccessful hexes.

"Wash out your mouth!" Potter said in a horrible tone.

The huge pink bubbles that Lily had seen Potter use many times before, once on Bellatrix Black even, came coursing out of Snape´s mouth until he started to choke on them.

Lily darted forward. She sounded out as loudly as she could, "LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Everyone turned to her now, clearly excited by this new development. Lily saw Potter´s hand go to his head to tousle his unruly black hair.

"All right, Evans?" he greeted cordially for all the world as if she interrupted their golfing.

"Leave him alone. What´s he done to you?" she continued staring Potter down and feeling very much like she was in some Western where she and him both had a loaded gun at their holsters on Main Street. Who would be quickest? Doing her best to conjure up the spirit of Clint Eastwood (probably somewhere in California nowhere near a pistol, but no matter) she glared at him refusing to be the first to look away. But he seemed to have the same thing in mind.

Without taking his eyes off her face he replied loudly so that all could hear, "Well, it´s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

This received much laughter but Lily didn´t find it amusing at all. The fact that everyone else was willing to help inflate Sirius and Potter´s heads even more just served to make her even more annoyed.

"You think you´re funny but you´re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone..." she announced stoically.

He finally flicked his eyes away and Lily felt that she was about to gain ground. She looked down over at Snape and saw that he was no longer choking on the bubbles but that he looked like a wild animal backed in a corner.

"I will," Potter offered quickly, "if you go out with me, Evans! Go on..." Lily had to fight to keep her face straight at this. But she couldn´t stop her cheeks from getting pink. She felt that everyone in the year was eyeing her hungrily.

"Go out with me and I´ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again," he continued. Behind him Sirius had his eyes shut as if he didn´t want to see the train wreck that was inevitably going to occur in a few seconds before the entire fifth year.

Lily took a step forward and replied in complete earnest, "I wouldn´t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!"

There was a pause. It didn´t seem that Potter quite understood.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said to fill up the space of silence. But Potter hadn´t heard this. Lily saw that his face had gone white, with fury or what Lily couldn´t tell and didn´t want to think about.

"OY!" Someone cried and suddenly blood flew off of Potter´s face as a flash filled the air and Lily knew Snape had found his missing wand.

She jumped back and couldn´t help being a tiny bit impressed with the speed of Potter´s reaction. Snape was hanging upside down in the air a second later, flashing the world his gray underpants.

Nobody in viewing this could help but crack up. Potter, Sirius and Peter roared loudly at the sight and Lily could hear Alia´s tinkling laughter somewhere back by the lake. She fought hard not to laugh herself. Underpants were underpants.

But she couldn´t allow it to continue of course. "Let him down!" she commanded Potter, wondering if he would obey her in hopes for a date.

"Certainly." He complied and Snape landed head first on the earth causing more derisive laughter.

Snape snapped to his feet, aiming his wand but Sirius said, "Locomotor mortis!" and he went rigid. Both Gryffindor boys were eyeing him, looking jinx-happy.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily cried angrily. How many times did she have to say it? She pulled out her own wand and aimed it at the space between Potter and Sirius.

"Ah, Evans," Potter sighed, his eyes flicking to her willow wand and her face. "Don´t make me hex you..."

"Take the curse off him then," she called out.

Potter undid Sirius´ hex and the Slytherin boy struggled to his feet, looking disoriented from being flipped upside down, struck solid and motionless and getting tossed about like a rag doll in less than a few minutes.

Potter and Sirius watched Snape straighten with every sign of regret and dislike. Clearly Lily had ruined the finale they had been planning for Snape in this round of bullying.

"You´re lucky Evans was here Snivellus!" Potter was grumbling at him, tucking his wand back in his robes.

"I don´t need any help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!!" Snape hissed.

Lily hadn´t been expecting the insult. "Fine," she said at the Slytherin, "I won´t bother in future. And I´d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus!" she replied to him feeling a cold white anger.

"APOLOGIZE TO EVANS!" Potter yelled at Snape, his wand out of his robe pocket again.

"I don´t want YOU to make him apologize!" she cried in disgust, Snape quite forgotten. "You´re as bad as he is..."

"What?! I´d NEVER call you a... You-know-what!" he cried at her.

This only made her feel worse.

"Messing up your hair because you think it´s cool to look like you´ve got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can! I´m surprised you´re broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it! You. Make. Me. Sick!" She cried, throwing her hands up and stalking off.

She could hear him calling out her name and it gave her a squirmy, mean sort of pleasure as she hurried away from him.

Eventually Nann and Alia trailed after her, the former dragging Stubby Boardman along, forlornly wearing a curly cue mustache on his head, the word `Bon Jour´ jutting out of his neck.

Both girls were gasping after they had caught up to her on the steps of the castle.

"You can walk bloody fast, can´t you?" Nann sighed, holding her side with her free hand.

"Only when I´m propelled with hatred," she commented cooly. "I had to get away as fast as possible before I saw or heard anything else that would make me want to vomit!"

"Now that we´ve all stormed off to the stair here, now what?" Nann asked.

"Oh, well we go tear this picture of Stubby Boardman out and hang it on Filch´s office door," Alia instructed the Ravenclaw girl.

"I wasn´t finished with the article on the other side!" Nann cried as Alia ripped it out.

"I´ll buy you a new one," Lily offered, rubbing her hands evilly as they all ran to Filch´s office.

They ran covertly down the corridor, Nann looking both ways for members of staff.

They all three stopped a minute later at the appearance of Mrs. Norris.

"It´s Filch´s wife!" Nann moaned quietly, as they all peered around the corner at her.

"What the hell is she doing?" Lily asked, squinting at the cat suspiciously.

They all saw it and though describing it didn´t sound so bizarre, seeing it with your own eyes was. The cat was poised decrepitly at one of the north-facing windows and staring at a spot in the air just by the window frame.

"She´s just staring at the wall or something," Alia muttered with confusion. "Is she going to move?"

"Maybe she´s dead?" Lily wondered.

"She´s twitching though," Nann pointed out.

"Oh, yeah, you´re right," she said. Leaning closer, Lily was put in mind of something she had seen recently... What had it been?

Suddenly a low, diabolic mewling came traveling down the corridor and it took them a full minute to realize it was coming from the cat.

"Oh my god!" Lily was sighing, covering her mouth so the cat wouldn´t hear her laughing.

When Mrs. Norris finally propelled herself at the window frame in a morbid attack formation all the girls were watching openmouthed.

After a few seconds, Mrs. Norris must have come to the conclusion that attacking the wall was futile and stalked off.

"She´s gone to fetch Filch!" Nann cried, "Hurry!"

"I think that cat has finally gone senile," Alia muttered as she took out her wand and affixed the clipping on the office door high above their heads.

"That´ll be hard to get unstuck," she commented. "It´s the same spell Ada used to put up her He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named posters in our dorm in first year!"

"Creepy!" Nann sighed.

"You don´t know the half of it," Alia said.

"We still have His ears on the headboard of the bed she used!" Lily informed.

"Now you know the half of it," Alia sighed.

"Hey, didn´t that cat´s staring put you in the mind of something?" Nann asked suddenly, scratching her chin.

"Now that you say that, it did!" Alia replied.

Lily had it then.

"I saw a group of kids lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling! Just yesterday!"

"Yeah! Hey, me too!"Alia cried as they walked off at high speed from the caretaker´s office.

"I didn´t see that," Nann murmured. "But I saw Ralph Venkmen the other week..." she looked apologetically at Lily, "He was looking into a lavatory stall for a awful long time. He even started to prod at the air with his wand for a bit until I cleared my throat. He left right then without a word."

"Okay, and so can I just verify a fact in this story," Lily said quickly. "Was he or was he not in the girl´s John?"

"Sorry," was Nann´s rueful reply and Lily shook her head.

"I´m a little worried about that, I´m not gonna lie," Lily announced.

As they crossed back towards the Great Hall (where the desks used in their exams had already been shuffled away) James Potter came in too, from the lawn with Sirius, Peter and Remus.

Both the girls and boys paused and readjusted themselves in different directions, Lily and Potter walked in a wide circle around each other.

"Oh, boy!" the girls could hear Sirius mutter comically.

*****

Before Lily knew what had happened they had whizzed through the rest of their OWLS.

"I failed them all," Peter Pettigrew informed her the last exam day, though it was probably that he was actually talking to the wall behind her because that´s where he was looking at.

Professor Tonks let them sit and try and tune in to the Wireless in before their Astronomy exam, her class was stationed below the tower. Potter was doing a very fine job of not noticing that Lily existed, which made her feel stupid and annoyed. That they would be apart the whole summer in a matter of a few days made it all the worse. By the time he got back for their sixth year at Hogwarts he would have undoubtedly talked himself out of fancying her and she would probably just start to consider him good looking.

She was staring at a chair angrily at these ruminations. She still hadn´t formed a proper goodbye in her mind to say to Ralph either. She was not likely to ever see him again after he left for Finland or wherever his destination for studying wand-making was.

After the Astronomy exam was declared over she had a peaceful, idyllic moment on the tower, looking over the lake and the grounds in the half moonlight. Alia came up beside her followed by Frank Longbottom and Debra Skitter.

"It´s been nice," Debra mumbled shyly.

`What?" Frank asked dumbly, though the other two girls knew what she had meant as they looked down at the tranquil wilderness below, the twilight and star formations above.

"Just being here..." she tried to explain.

*****