academic curiosity

*********22

"This won´t come to any good," Dale said to Lily and a listening Joe, Alia and Oscar Bodin as they all sat in a line at the Gryffindor table. "Look at the way Madam Pince is stabbing her fork into Hagrid´s muffler... "

They all turned over their shoulder and watched the librarian absent-mindedly jab as she gazed at the empty chair that Dumbledore usually sat at.

"Hagrid shouldn´t let his muffler hang on the table like that," Oscar said.

Alia said, "The teachers are very depressive."

"You mean depress-ING? That´s their job," Dale corrected.

"They´re depressed because," Oscar turned from them and look over one of his shoulders at the staff table, "Because they have to eat all those `stovies´ there... Glad we didn´t get that down here!"

"Can you pass the colcannon, Oscar?" Alia asked. "Thank you, you´re a dear."

"Is it possible that they´re worried about something? And that that something is also why Dumbledore is missing?" Lily suggested.

"What did you just call me?" Oscar said to Alia, a dark expression quickly spreading over his face.

"I think the word `missing´ is a bit over-dramatic, don´t you? I mean, he´s been GONE a week. That´s not unusual," Dale said in reply.

"I just was thanking you for passing the-"

"I know what I heard, Bashir. What are you THINKING calling a man a `deer´ in public, especially with other men around!"

"But I-" Alia started but was interrupted by Dale.

"Yes, Dumbledore often goes to straighten things out at the Ministry I imagine. Bet they can´t do anything there without him..."

"Wonder how he gets there..." Joe thought out loud.

"Yeah, I don´t imagine he takes the phone booth like us common wizards do," Oscar added. Turning to Alia he said, "Look, I forgive you about what was said earlier I think. But just don´t do it again. That´s Attemptive Reputation Ruination."

"Look here!" Alia suddenly cried, slamming a fist onto the table, "I´ve been trying to tell you all but you won´t listen! Dumbledore is quite gone from the country, don´t you see?!" She looked to her left and right in jerky motions of impatience.

"How do you know that?"

"Which country?"

"Did a deer tell you?" Dale, Joe and Lily asked at the same time, in that order.

"I know because, somewhere in Africa, a Prime Minister disappeared and their Ministry is blaming ours because it was The Dark Lord and his Followers who did it, they say."

"They have Prime Ministers in Africa?"

"Why do they think it was Voldemort?" Oscar, then Lily asked.

"Well, they must have Prime Ministers if one was stolen! And they think it was Voldemort because they saw a big green skull with a serpent tongue in the sky the day after!"

"The Dark Mark!" Joe said, with amazement.

Alia nodded, looking from one person to the next. Gossip of any kind was her greatest hobby. "This was two weeks ago, and the Ministry here is only acting on it now because AT FIRST they didn´t believe it was true. They heard the reports from travelers who had been there and since they are all dotty people like hags and missionaries, the Minister thought they were telling tall tales..."

"But Dumbledore heard and knew it was serious!" Lily guessed.

"Yes! Once he heard the stories he left immediately. I saw him in the front entry way and I asked him why the Lord Voldemort would be all the way down in Africa."

"What did he say?" Dale prodded her on.

"He just said he would be back very soon and he congratulated my cousin Orly on his promotion to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement!"

"Why didn´t you ask him about the Dementor that tried to suck out our souls, Alia?" Lily asked impatiently.

Alia said defensively, "I can´t unearth ALL the international community´s secrets y´know!"

"YEAH! She doesn´t have THAT many cousins!" Oscar agreed in Alia´s favor.

*    *    *

The next day was their first Defense Against the Dark Arts class of the week. They were preparing for the beginning of their final unit, which was on the Grindylow.

Lily and Alia shared a desk behind Dale and Joe. Lily tired to do well in this class because she found the subject matter interesting, though the class often became dull and their teacher was quite an oddball.

Professor Bottle picked up a pointing stick (he had used to use his wand as a pointer but accidentally shot a spell off the board that had ricocheted and hit Rusty Cogswell in the eye and he had to be taken to the infirmary). He jabbed the stick at a small speck in the ocean on a map of Western Europe.

"This, students," Professor Bottle began instructively, "is the location of a rather infamous wizarding prison used by our Ministry. Can anyone tell me it´s name?"

Lily raised a hand, but Bottle called someone just behind her.

"Azakaban Prison, I believe Professor?" Sirius Black called out, rather cockily.

For some reason the class laughed as if he had told a swell one-liner. Dale coughed and Lily shifted in her chair.

"Yes! Good! Three points to Gryffindor!"(Professor Bottle was hated by the rest of the staff because he always gave odd-numbered amounts of points and made the huge hour glasses in the entry look off-kilt.)

"Like anyone´s surprised the Gryffindors know all about the prison!" Kendra Mercer cracked dryly and the rest of the Ravenclaws snickered. The Ravenclaw Seeker turned and glowered at Alia, who had beat a bludger into her face a few too many times than necessary during the last match.

"Yes, yes, that´s a good one there," the Professor carried on, gazing at the map. "And it is on this island, far out to sea, protected from Muggle intervention in the same way that Hogwarts and The Ministry For Magic are, that we put all of our worst and most fearsome lawbreakers-"

"Professor?" Alia raised her hand.

He squinted at her suspiciously.

"What sort of laws have the prisoners broken?"

"Ah... What sort of laws, you ask? Well! The most important laws! Now can anyone tell me what sort of creature guards Azkaban Prison?" He looked up into their midst, imploringly.

Lily raised her hand hopefully.

"Ah! Yes, Pettigrew is that you? What... You have an answer then? Fantastic! Well then, let´s hear it!"

Lily turned and stared severely at Pettigrew.

Peter´s squeamish voice raised above their heads from the back of the room towards the Professor.

"Er, Mrs. Norris?"

The class broke into laughter again. The Professor looked up at Peter with confusion.

He was looking around helplessly and both Sirius and Potter had their faces on their desks, cracking up.

She turned back around and raised her hand again.

"No, that isn´t right... Oh, Lupin, do you have the right answer?" The Professor asked.

Lily itched her shin under the table while Remus gave the correct answer.

"Azkaban is guarded fiercely by The Dementors."

"Excellent, another seven points for Gryffindor!"

"Does anyone from Ravenclaw know what a Dementor is?"

Polite silence.

"Hm... Okay, any body from Gryffindor then?"

Lily immediately raised her hand and looked around to see who else was raising theirs. It was just she, Alia, Joe, Potter and Lupin who seemed to know. Dale had stopped paying attention at "Mrs. Norris" and went back to reading the latest issue of `Astro Hag From Telaurus-5´ and Sirius, who also knew about Dementors, was watching out the window at the foggy expanse, a look of boredom had settled on his face.

"Oh, just three of you?" The Professor replied, befuddling Lily completely. She was still re-counting the raised hands when Joe, who had been picked to give his explanation began illuminating the class on how he thinks The Dementor bought it´s robes at the same place his grandmother did, etc.

The Professor refrained from giving them any more points. He moved on quickly.

"So,at the very best, our knowledge of the Dementor is limited, which is why I have decided that we must have our final unit on it!" He then flipped the board over and there on it was a huge, gleaming rendition of the thing Lily had seen in the carriage when she was returning from holiday.

She jumped back. The sketch was even in the same angle as she had seen her own Dementor.

The rest of the class twirled their quills, looking vaguely interested.

"Is that what we all saw after Christmas?" Sara Convoy asked benignly.

"Hm? What was that again?" The Professor asked, cupping his hand around his ear.

She repeated the question and he nodded. "Of course, the decision for a lesson on the dementor was hardly a spontaneous decision on my and the Headmaster´s part. In fact, I´ve been given to understand that a few of you have taken it upon yourselves to do independent research, isn´t that right BOYS?" Professor Bottle called up loudly towards the four boys sitting in the back.

"Heh, heh," Potter replied.

"I was dead at the time," Black said quickly, turning from the window.

"Yes, but then we had The Living-Dead-Girl resurrect him," Potter added as Peter cracked up and pointed at the back of Lily´s head.

"Now boys!" Professor Bottle scolded lovingly.

"It´s true..."

"Professor?!" Lily suddenly interrupted, as she was growing very impatient now.

He looked at her and then conferred with his class list for a moment.

"Ahh.... What is it, Miss... Miss Burly?"

Lily could hear Potter, Pettigrew and Black cracking up behind her. Dale was covering his mouth with his hands.

"Eh... Does the... Does the Headmaster say how and why a Dementor came to be here?" she plodded forward in a disgruntled voice.

"Oh, well, obviously Headmaster Dumbledore knows the ins and outs of the event, but why that could be any of your business is beyond me, Miss Burly!" Bottle replied snidely.

"Yeah, Bertha!" Kendra Mercer turned, and grinning, said merrily to Lily, "Did you miss the Memo about how losing your soul on school grounds is not the responsibility of faculty?"

"Maybe it was addressed to you wrong?" Potter added and the students cracked up, including Lily.

"Nonsense about memos!" Oscar Bodin said. "I would have got one too, isn´t that right Professor?"

"Of course!" Bottle assured with a look of annoyance. "Now, as I was saying. A Dementor consists of a almost transparent yet extremely dark material that is immune from physical attack of all kinds..."

As he plodded on, occasionally jabbing a part of the drawing on the board with his stick, Lily leaned over and consulted Dale in front of her.

"So, I wonder why Dumbledore isn´t saying why we had one of them here!"

He looked away from Astro Hag and blinked. "If I were Dumbledore I wouldn´t bother telling that great idiot Professor either!"

"Me too!" Alia whispered below Bottle´s lecture.

"...it is a fine example of the efficiency and good sense of our Ministry, even in the most distressing of times that they both rid the good people of this land of the menace of the Dementors and at the same time put them to the use that they obviously were really intended for!!" Professor Bottle looked around at them excitedly.

Lily heard someone in back whisper, "That sounds like bollocks to me!"

And Mike Dravus of Ravenclaw said rather skeptically, "Do you mean that the Dementors exist just so that we can have prison guards?"

"In a roundabout sort of way, yes, I think so!" He nodded happily and continued. "When the Dementors roamed free, under the leadership of that great foe Grindelwald, wizardkind had a very difficult go of it explaining how such a horrible and disgusting presence could be tolerated to walk the earth... But the wisest of the people- Those in the Ministry of Magic, knew that these creatures must have some purpose. And so, it was natural for these great wizards to conclude that the destructive power of the Dementor would be best put to use on the criminals and other outcasts. Any questions?"

Lily raised her hand once again.

"Oh... Mr. Corner. What is it?"

"Can I go to the lavatory?"

"Wait for the bell, please. Oh, it seems we have one more hand raised! Yes, Mr. Owens?"

Lily at this point had been jerking her arm side to side in the air.

"Oh, I was just stretching my shoulder back Professor," Owens explained apologetically.

"Uh! I think Lily had a question, Professor Bottle," Dale announced loudly.

"Oh?" The Professor looked back at his name chart with confusion.

"I mean, Miss Burly has a question," Dale corrected himself.

"Oh, Bertha, of course!"

Lily said, "Yes. I was wondering if you are suggesting that-"

Then a bell clanged magically above the doorway and everyone flew out of their seats.

Professor Bottle spun the board back, gathered his things and marched out the door towards the staff room, probably with a stiff drink in mind.

"Well, that was all rather boring, don´t you think, Starla?" Lily overheard one of the Ravenclaw girls ask another as they filtered through the door and into the crowded corridor outside.

"Those Dementor thingies don´t seem too terrible after all," Frank Longbottom was saying and his friends nodded with relief. "At least they´ve a purpose for existing... I do hate to think of a magical creature living independently of wizards! I mean, like these Centaurs for example, now. How do they serve us, anyway? They just take up valuable land space and cause problems..."

"Don´t say that too loudly, mate! That Half-blood twit and her gang will hear and start some club going on about Centaur rights next!" A boy named Bernie went on derisively, looking sidelong at Lily.

"Nah," Frank replied, "For all their noise, they´re an all right bunch, really!"

"What are you doing Alia?" Lily asked, fighting to move towards Longbottom and his smirking friend.

"Holding back your fists, dear. I was going to ask Frank to the next Hogsmeade Weekend, and wouldn´t that be grand if he had two black eyes and was missing teeth on our date?"

"What´s all this, Longbottom?" Potter said suddenly.

"We were just talking about your mum, Potter," Frank explained good naturedly.

Potter nodded at Frank and then stalked towards Bernie, standing next to him.

"And you? Were YOU talking about my mum?"

All the students who had been milling around between classes stopped intuitively and stood staring at the two boys with great interest.

Bernie seemed to guess that the time for wise cracks had passed.

"No, no, we were just-"

Potter yawned and messed up his already messy hair with one hand. "-Talking about you father getting arrested?"

Bernie went rigid and everyone else moved closer to hear better.

Lily went to leave, but Alia snatched at her arm.

"What are you going on about?" Frank said skeptically, eyeing both boys.

Sirius laughed a few feet away. He said in his usual lackdastic tone, "You mean you didn´t HEAR, Longbottom?"

"´Bernie, Sr.´ was brought in by Ministry Aurors a few days ago. Seems that he was discovered with a African Minister for Magic tied up in his attic!" Potter explained with wicked glee. He glanced at Lily very quickly and looked back at Bernie, smirking.

There were a few gasps, but generally it was confusion on many faces. Lily saw Alia´s widen with excitement. "Hardly anyone knows about the African Minister being abducted!" Alia hissed to Lily proudly.

"Or maybe they´re just surprised that they have Ministers in Africa!" Lily replied sarcastically and yanked her arm back out Alia´s grasp.

Lily marched into the center of the ring of blood thirsty students.

Potter messed up his hair again. Lily stood by his side, hands on her hip, glaring around the circle.

"AM I THE ONLY FOOL HERE WITH CLASS IN FIVE MINUTES?!? " she began yelling at all the stupidly curious faces. But no one made a move. She pointed at her wrist watch angrily saying, "HELLO!? DO YOU ALL SPEAK ENGLISH?!! MOVE IT, HEFFERS!"

"One McGonagall is quite enough, thanks," Peter Pettigrew cracked and there were a few laughs.

"But she doesn´t LOOK like McGonagall..." some boy called out appreciatively.

"Yeah, I´ll speak any language you want, Evans!" Potter joked. "English, Bulgarian, Martian, French... Veux-tu m´epouser?" he said, smiling. Though probably no one understood this any better than Lily, there was a tumultuous wave of male laughter.

"Okay, move along!" Remus suddenly called jovially. "I have four tons of Fanged Geranium to re-pot eight floors down in the greenhouses and it isn´t getting any friendlier people!" He glanced at Lily skittishly and then moved past her quickly, towing his three mischievous friends behind him.

Since Potter´s French speech to Lily, Alia had gone red with a giggling fit.

"Wow," Dale said to Lily. "You´re one bad mother-"

"Shut your mouth!" Lily interrupted.