Caught In The Middle

Chapter 5 - It Feels Good to Have Friends

"Sang pur." Draco muttered the new password created by Millicent Bulstrode. She had recently become obsessed with the French language. Millicent was one of the new Slytherin prefects. Draco had forfeited his prefect position, and Pansy, although very reluctantly and making a huge fuss all the while, had decided to do the same.

"First Quidditch, now your prefect position! Why are you giving everything up? Everything that meant so much to you?" Pansy asked exasperatedly.

He stared at her, the question not quite penetrating him. Her blond hair had been put up in a messy ponytail; she looked tired, disheveled, and not at all like her normal self. But it was something else that had caught his attention. The look on her face was what he was interested in. Her forehead was creased, she was biting her lip, her blue eyes stared at him, and she looked genuinely concerned. She was concerned, and not just that, she was concerned about him. Someone cared; she cared.

So he stopped and reflected upon her question for a moment and then simply said, "Because it's not fun anymore...it doesn't matter to me..." And it was true. Tormenting Potter and Weasley just didn't give him any satisfaction. It all seemed so pointless and stupid. He didn't care anymore. It was as if he was a different person. He certainly felt like a different person, but for some reason that didn't seem to bother him.

And Pansy had nodded because she said she had understood. And he felt so much better - no one had really understood him before...no one had ever tried to understand him before...

The portrait swung open, and Draco entered the common room. Pansy, who had just a moment ago been chatting animatedly with Blaise about Slytherin's Qudditch strategies for the year, suddenly fell silent, as did everyone in the common room. The entire Slytherin common room was stock still; Blaise looked around nervously, and Pansy stood frozen at his side. But Draco didn't seem to notice. He flopped onto an empty leather couch, leaned back and sighed as if nothing at all was wrong.

The stillness lasted for a moment, and then everyone rushed out. They roughly pushed past Pansy, and left, all the while muttering things like "what a disgrace", "un-Slytherin", and "filth." Their words affected Pansy deeply. She was no longer the same bubbly, arrogant, and some-what annoying Draco worshipper. Their words changed her, and she was no longer one of the most popular Slytherin girls. Her association with Draco had been her downfall. Draco was sorry about it, and had even told her that she didn't have to be his friend and that if she wanted to, she could go join the rest of the Slytherins; he wouldn't mind. Pansy had refused his offer and tried not to be affected by their cruel words, but no matter what, their words always hurt her.

However, their words did not affect Draco. He had a very different opinion about himself. He didn't believe he had done anything "un-Slytherin." In fact, what he did was a very Slytherin thing to do. All Draco had ever wanted was his father's approval, but he failed there and his father's demands had begun to suffocate him. He wanted to be free. He wanted to make a mess. He wanted to not worry about "upholding the prestige of the Malfoy name"; he wanted to be himself. So he turned to the one wizard who could help him, turned to the one wizard his father utterly despised - Albus Dumbledore. The man may have been off his rocker, but he had helped Draco. He had listened, unlike his father, his own flesh and blood.... Lucius was gone now, and Draco was left on the opposite side of the war. He was on the winning side. Bad guys never win, he had thought wryly before making his final decision.

Draco still sat on the couch, sprawled out in a very un-Malfoyish manner. He was doing what he did almost everyday - brooding. He had his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest. There was a sudden waft of air over his face; it came again, and again...

"Earth to Malfoy," said Blaise Zabini as he waved his hand over Draco's face; he moved his lips right in front of Draco's right ear and shouted, "Hey... Malfoy are you alive?"

Draco suddenly snapped his head up and his eyes flickered open. "WHAT?" he demanded.

Pansy, who was used to Draco's mood swings, simply flinched, but Blaise, who wasn't, jumped up and exclaimed, "Merlin, Malfoy, calm down!"

"Sorry," Draco muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"You all right, mate?" asked Blaise, his dark eyes betraying a look of unconcern.

"I'm fine!" replied Draco quickly.

"Great!" exclaimed Blaise, whose face had broken into a wide grin. "Then you can help me on this Potion's essay - it's killing me!"

"Fine, but I swear this is the last time," replied Draco as he followed Blaise to a sharp-cut, deep mahogany table, where Pansy was already seated.

"That's what he always says..." muttered Blaise, while he rummaged through his book bag, looking for his half-finished essay.

"What was that, Blaise...did you say you didn't need my help?" shouted Draco. "Well, I suppose I'll be going then!" he said, taking the joke a little farther by pretending to be leaving.

"No...I didn't say anything," replied Blaise sheepishly.

"All right, give it here...let's have a look at it..."

Draco took the piece of parchment from Blaise, and he couldn't help but smile...it felt good to have friends...

Draco was also in the N.E.W.T level Potions class with Blaise and Pansy, but he had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he had forgotten how nasty the essay was. Professor Snape had been in a particularly bad mood that day, though Draco couldn't recall why. They were studying rare potions. Potions that were commonly used in the days of Old Magic...

Draco always knew he was going to take N.E.W.T Potions; it was not even questionable in his mind. Sure enough, he received an O on his Potions O.WL. and immediately signed up for the course. However, when he found out that they would be studying Old Magic Potions, he seriously reconsidered his choice...

Old Magic was stupid and practically useless; it was from the days when magic was first beginning. There were few people then who were blessed with magic blood; they were the first witches and wizards, and were said to be from Arabia. These first witches and wizards developed a primitive magic. Legend said, so primitive that they didn't even use wands to perform their spells. They could just will things to happen. Nonetheless, Old Magic was nowhere as good as the much progressed new magic. Because sometimes, with Old Magic, if the right amount of concentration was not applied then something completely different than what the user had wanted might have happened. And when the user was thinking or wishing for anything, his or her wish might have come true, even if they didn't really want it to. One had to constantly and completely be in control of one's mind. Old Magic was like a small child who had yet to attend a school of Magic, but could still, unwillingly, make things happen.

Draco remembered when he was younger there had been a movement to return to Old Magic ways. He remembered how his father had nothing good to say about it. He spoke of Old Magic condescendingly and with a sneer on his face, although that wasn't much different from his usual manner of speaking. His father loathed Old Magic, so Draco grew to hate it, too. He wasn't exactly sure why it was so wrong, but because his father despised it, Draco had automatically assumed it was something he should hate, too. This, however, was after the summer after Draco's fifth year...his father, after the Department of Mysteries fiasco, had been put in Azkaban (although he had escaped) and Draco was left with his mother in Malfoy Manor.

N.E.W.T. Potions was really the only reason Draco really wanted to go back to Hogwarts. His father was gone...and Draco's once arrogant pride of his father had vanished. It wasn't really easy to respect a hypocrite. His father was probably wrong about so many things; why couldn't he be wrong about Old Magic also? Draco's dilemma ate away at him for days, and his mother wasn't any help either. She had become so distant lately, even more distant than her usual self. He barely even saw her...ever since his father had been sentenced to life in Azkaban, she had avoided Draco like a mouse would a cat. Eventually, Draco realized the choice was up to him. Take N.E.W.T Potions and learn something he had thought despicable his entire life, or not take it and forever live in the shadow of his father, following like a miserable dog whatever he commanded.

So, Draco took the first step. He decided, after thoroughly convincing himself that learning about Old Magic was not as bad as associating with Mudbloods, to take the course. His life as he knew it started to unravel from there. Defying his father's beliefs about Old Magic was just the first, and least significant act of rebellion Draco would commit in his seemingly never-ending summer from hell. But that was all far behind Draco now. There was no going back.

The essay Professor Snape had assigned was about the Binding Potion. It asked what the potion's purpose was (Draco snorted when he had read it...it was a binding potion...it's purpose was quite obviously to bind!), its ingredients, how to make it, and what the possible dangers were. Dangers? thought Draco, well, it was a bloody Old Magic potion - practically everything about it was dangerous! Leave it to Snape to assign something so impossibly vague.

"Where in the name of Merlin does Snape expect us to find all of this information?" grumbled Blaise, breaking Draco's trail of thought.

"Where have you checked?" asked Draco.

"Well, in our N.E.W.T Potions book to start, then in The Big Book of Potions by Audrey Chang, then in Potions for Dummies, then - "

Pansy snorted, and not bothering to let Blaise finish, said, "Obviously you won't find any of it in new books! It's an Old Magic Potion; you have to look in old books! Though they're probably all in -"

"The restricted section," finished Draco.

"But who'll give us a pass?" questioned Pansy, "Professor Snape's never in a good mood these days," she mentioned dismissively.

"Leave that to me," replied Blaise, who had such a wickedly mischievous grin on his face that Pansy was afraid he was going to do something they'd all regret.

"When can you have the pass by?" asked Draco, choosing to ignore the look plastered on Blaise's face.

"As soon as you need it," he replied smugly.

"Go get it now, and meet Pansy and me in the library - we'll check the books you might have overlooked."

"Ginny, will you do one last favor for me?" he asked, but Ginny already knew he just spoke in the guise of friendship.

"Yes, Tom?" she asked weakly.

She was cold. She was tired. She was filthy. She was angry. She felt helpless. She felt weak. She felt betrayed. She felt stupid.

There was nothing she could do about it anymore. She was stuck here in the Chamber; there was no getting out. No Knight in Shining Armor to save her. No chance to say goodbye to her family. And she was too tired to resist him. She should just answer his question, whatever it was, maybe if she complied he would end it sooner...yes, she should be good and listen to good old Tom...he would be merciful...it would all end soon...

"Tell me, why are you so afraid of me?" he asked in his sickeningly kind voice.

"I don't know what you mean, Tom..." she replied quietly.

"I mean when I come close to you." He took a step towards her and she flinched. "Why do you flinch? When I touch you," he bent down and touched her face; she shivered, "why do you shiver? And when I kiss you," he pressed his lips to hers and she gasped, "why do you gasp?"

He grasped her arms and harshly brought her up so that she sat with her calves beneath her thighs. He stared at her...his cold blue eyes met her sad brown ones and he bored into her. She wanted to look away, but found herself unable to do so...

He cupped her chin, sending chills down her spine, and then he kissed her, this time letting his tongue slide into her mouth. She gasped, and struggled pitifully. She was too weak...he pushed his tongue farther into her mouth and she let him, she pulled him closer, she let her tongue explore his mouth...he tasted so powerful, so wonderful...but no, no...this was wrong!

He pushed her down, her fragile body met the cold stone, and she screamed, but he didn't care...he planted harsh kisses down her neck; he stopped to smile at her maliciously...

She knew this was wrong, so she tried to resist him...she refused to please him...she clenched her fists and feebly pounded them on his back.

He stopped...he was angry; she had made Tom angry...now he would hurt her! Why couldn't she have just let him have what he wanted? It would all end soon anyway.

But, then he threw his head back and laughed. It was a disturbing, sharp laugh that echoed through the chamber. Ginny tried to laugh too...he's just playing, he wouldn't hurt me!

"Silly girl," he scolded, "You can't resist me!"

And then there was a voice calling out to her...

"Ginny! GINNY!"

Her eyes snapped open and she found herself sprawled in a most disgraceful manner on a couch in the Gryffindor Commons.

"Ron?" she said, sitting up.

"Harry told me you've been looking for me."

It was two months into the term, and Ginny hadn't been able to get Ron alone even once to tell him about what she had seen. When they had first arrived, he was busy adjusting to N.E.W.T classes, and then he had been buried in homework. Then he was appointed, to everyone except Ginny's -- she had faith in him -- surprise, Quidditch captain. It was absolutely impossible to get him alone. "I have to do my Charms essay," "I'm having a meeting to discuss the new Quidditch strategy," "I have to meet Harry and Hermione," and "I'm just too busy!" were just a few of many excuses Ron used when Ginny cornered him.

"I-I need to talk to you," she said as she got up and straightened herself out, "I need to talk to you privately."

"Why? Can't this wait - "

"WAIT?!? I've been bloody waiting for TWO months! Haven't you got any time for your little sister anymore? Am I not IMPORTANT enough?" she shrieked, the stress of the fifth year and her continual dreams finally taking its toll.

"Ginny! Please, calm down! You're making a scene!" whispered Ron fiercely, as he grabbed her arm and led her out of the Common Room.

"Now what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked once they had gotten away from everyone.

"I wanted to talk to you about..." suddenly Ginny didn't feel like telling Ron what she had seen....she wasn't even sure if she had really seen Charlie or if it was just her imagination acting up.

"Well?" questioned Ron impatiently.

"I-I..."

"RON! There you are!" someone shouted from behind them. Ginny turned to see Harry advancing towards them.

"We have Quidditch practice. Did you forget?"

"Oh, right. Look Ginny, I've gotta go, maybe we can talk later?" he asked apprehensively.

"Oh, fine!" she muttered.

"Great...and maybe you should just skive off this practice, you don't look too good, and it's not that important anyway," he suggested.

Ginny opened her mouth to protest, but he was already running back to the Common Room with Harry. And he was right; she wasn't feeling too good...she needed to rest... but every time she closed her eyes she saw Tom...

Ginny drew her bed's curtains and pulled her covers around her. She gently lowered her head to her pillow and hesitantly closed her eyes - a flicker of Tom's leering face. She opened her eyes, and then closed them - a flash of Tom's cold blue eyes. Again she opened her eyes, and again she closed them - a glimpse of Tom taunting her.

"Ahhhh!" she screamed, throwing her pillow across the room. Why wouldn't Tom leave her? He had hurt her so much, and now he haunted her dreams...what more would she have to suffer?

Ginny sighed, and with a great effort managed to pull herself out of her bed. She dropped to her knees and peered underneath her bed. Among the dust, missing socks, and crumpled up parchment was Ginny's book bag. She grabbed it and began frantically searching through it.

Oh where is it? I know I put it in here...please, please be in here! Ah, here it is! She triumphantly snatched up the wrinkled piece of parchment that was wedged in between her Potions Book. Hastily scrawled on the parchment was the name of a potion Ginny desperately needed. The potion would drive away one's bad dreams; the only thing was that it was very complicated and if not made correctly, it could have really awful side effects. Ginny had heard of the potion one day while she was walking behind a group of seventh year Ravenclaws. They were discussing a particularly nasty potion they had to make in Potions that week; apparently they had all made it incorrectly, and when they had to test the potion on themselves, they had all spent the night with Madam Pomfrey.

Ginny jumped up and began pacing around the room...she wanted, no she needed, this potion. It was the answer to all of her problems. She could finally get some sleep! She would no longer look like she had been through hell every single day. Well, she thought, I will just have to go the library and find the book..."Moste Potente Potions" was what it was called, most likely in the Restricted Section, but she didn't care! She was going to get that book! I'll just have to sneak in without being caught. And with that, she rushed out.

Ginny was running through the corridors in such a frantic hurry that she didn't see the small girl who was skipping and humming an annoying tune until she had run smack into her. They both fell crashing onto the cold, hard floor. Ginny's leg twisted in an awkward position and a sharp pain shot up her thigh, but she ignored it and immediately sprang up.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized. But the girl still lay sprawled on the floor, not bothering to get up. Her pale, protuberant blue eyes stared at her in a way that most people would find uncomfortable. Not Ginny, though; she knew this girl. In fact they had become close friends.

"Luna? Sorry, I didn't see you!"

"Oh it's all right," answered Luna, who had gotten up and was now pulling up the grey and blue striped sock on her right leg; she never bothered pulling up the other one, "Where were you going in such a hurry?" she questioned, raising her pale eyebrows.

"Oh, nowhere," replied Ginny, trying her best to clear away from the subject. "So, what are you --"

"Oh! I should like to go with you!" exclaimed Luna. "I've always wanted to go to nowhere...I've heard such wonderful things about it...my mother went there once and she --"

"Luna!" gasped Ginny, trying her best to contain her laughter. "I was just kidding!"

"Oh," Luna said, her face falling, "Then where are you going?"

Ginny sighed. At this rate she'd never get to the library!

"Look, Luna I'm going to the library, and when I get there I'm going to sneak into the Restricted Section and steal a book...so if you don't mind, I'm really in a hurry!"

Ginny was annoyed to see Luna smiling serenely at her. Honestly, they had been friends for a while now, but sometimes Luna could be incredibly frustrating.

"What a coincidence," she simply said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that's exactly what I was going to do," she announced, smiling widely.

Ginny stared at her blankly. "What?"

"I said that's what I was going to do, too!" she said exasperatedly. "Come on, we'll go together!" And with that she swayed away, leaving Ginny no choice but to reluctantly follow her.

Ginny sat with her head down on the table in the library. Luna sat across from her with her hair pulled back with a quill and her forehead scrunched in concentration. She was coming up with a plan and refused Ginny the right to speak. So Ginny tried to catch up on some sleep, because it didn't seem like Luna would have a plan ready any time soon.

"I think I got it," murmured Luna absently.

"Hmmm?" asked Ginny, who had dozed off and was now rubbing her eyes.

"I've got a plan!"

"Really? Well, let's hear it, then."

"Well, first you have to sneak into the Restricted Section..." She pointed to a map of the library that she had drawn on a piece of spare parchment. "I want you to go this way," she indicated with her quill.

Ginny nodded and listened to her plan; it wasn't very complicated. First, she would sneak into the Restricted Section, going the long way - around all the other sections, because Madame Pince was currently stacking books in the Charms Section. She would then find the book, and sneak out while Luna created a distraction to make sure no one, especially Madame Pince, saw her.

"Got it?" asked Luna.

"Yeah, I think so." She got up nervously. Well this was it.... "Wish me luck," she whispered, smiling nervously at Luna, who nodded solemnly.

First she walked over to the Charms Section to make sure Madam Pince was still there. She glanced down the aisle, and sure enough, there was Madam Pince on a stool, putting books away. She then slipped away and walked as fast as she could to the Restricted Section. She reached it and grabbed the doorknob. Her heart was beating quickly, and she was shaking. It's now or never, she thought, and with one deep breath she pulled the door open. I'm here...oh Merlin, I'm here!

She stood frozen for a few seconds, not really believing that she had gotten there without being caught. The book, I have to get the book! She suddenly remembered. She looked around; there must have been thousands of books here. Where was she to start? She walked down the first aisle and began looking at the spines of the books.

"Belinda's Beauty Spells?" she read. "What's this doing in the restricted section?"

She moved further down the aisle...Moste Potente Potions started with 'M.' She searched the entire aisle, but it only went into the C's. She moved to the next aisle when she heard it...

It sounded like the swift movement of someone in the next aisle. Someone's in here! She couldn't move and panic quickly seeped into her. She saw a flash of white blond hair and a flash of green, and then the person disappeared. A Slytherin! They would rat her out in a second. What could she do?

Well, I'll just have to get that book and run! she decided...If the first aisle went from a to c then the second would be d to f, and the fifth aisle would be m through p. She sprinted down to the fifth aisle, and sure enough, she found the 'M's.'

"Yes!" she hissed triumphantly as she searched for her book, "Moss: It's Dark Uses," she murmured.

"Here it is!" she whispered, yanking the book out of the shelf. She tucked the book underneath her arm and was just about to run, when she heard someone clapping behind her...

"Good job, Weasley," said an icy voice. "Now hand it over."

"Malfoy!" she hissed.

Ginny hadn't spoken to him that night in the summer, thinking of it made her shiver. He had seemed so vulnerable then, but once he arrived at Hogwarts he turned back to his old self. He was just more reserved than usual. And he didn't associate with those two oafs anymore; instead he spent most of his time with Parkinson and Blaise Zabini. Other than that he was perfectly normal. Ginny often saw him snapping at innocent first years, but that was all he could do now - he wasn't a prefect anymore. Apparently he had given it up, although why he had done so was beyond Ginny; he used take pleasure in the power it gave him...

"Give me the book," he commanded.

"Why should I?" she said, glaring at him. His cold grey eyes flashed with annoyance.

"Because if you don't, then I'll just have to inform Madam Pince about your escapade," he said, with a horrible smirk plastered across his face.

"What are you talking about, Malfoy?"

"You know being in the Restricted Section without a pass is against the school rules...and you, Weasley don't have a pass...do you?"

"And do you have a pass Malfoy?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," he replied smugly. He slipped his hand into his robes and fished out a piece of parchment.

"I, Professor Sinistra, hereby give Mr. Blaise Zabini, Miss Pansy Parkinson, and Mr. Draco Malfoy permission to obtain research materials from the Restricted Section," he read, smiling evilly at Ginny when he was done.

"So, Weasley, you'd better hand over that book or else I'll have to go get Madam Pince."

Ginny was just about to answer angrily when she saw Luna's wavy blonde head behind Malfoy. She put a finger to her lips and pulled out her wand.

Ginny tried not to smile; she just had to make sure Malfoy didn't see Luna..."I am not giving you this book, Malfoy! I got in here, I found it -"

"Yes, yes, Weasley you are magnificent, but unless you want to get - "

"Incendio!" whispered Luna. Red, hot flames sprang from her wand and onto the edge of Malfoy's robes. He turned around and stared at the hem of his robes in horror as Ginny and Luna made their getaway.

Malfoy quickly came back to his senses and stomped out the flames. "Weasley!" he snarled. It was too late; Ginny and Luna were too far away to hear him.

Malfoy pursed his lips and looked around angrily, "Reparo!" he said, and his frayed robes automatically fixed themselves. He then swept out of the library, all the while cooking up ideas of how to get Weasley back.

"That was great, Luna!" exclaimed Ginny, as she and Luna sped out of the Library.

"Well, you know...it wasn't really anything..."

"Oh, come on, Luna! That was genius...and you got there right on time, too!"

"Yeah, I guess I did," said Luna, smiling. "Did you get the book?"

"Yeah! Thanks to you," said Ginny, showing Luna the book. "Well, I'm going to go read it and find my potion," she told her. "Thanks!"

"You're welcome," Luna whispered. Ginny grinned at her, and then ran back to the Gryffindor commons...it felt good to have a friend...