No Laughing Matter

Chapter Thirty-three

"George Edward Weasley!" Carly had overheard Molly calling him that once, and had committed it to memory for just such and occasion.

"Shhhh!" George said, holding a finger to his lips. He was kneeling on the floor next to the sofa where Charlie was sprawled, fast asleep. He and Bill hadn't gotten in until three a.m., both as drunk as it was humanly possible to get without need for hospitalization. Bill had taken a potion to take away most of his hangover, but it was Charlie's bad luck that he was allergic to one of the key ingredients to the potion, and so had to suffer through it. If he didn't wake up still drunk, he was likely to have a heck of a bad head, and if George was really lucky, a gap in his memory.

Carly walked over to where George to see what he was doing, and crouched next to him. "What are you doing?" she asked. He appeared to be gently smearing a clear cream on Charlie's lips with a cotton swab. "What is that stuff?"

"It doesn't have a name yet," George said with a silly grin on his face.

"What does it do?" her lips were twitching against her desire to grin back. He was obviously pulling a wicked prank on his brother.

"Grows hair," he said. "Or I should say fur."

"You're making your brother grow fur on his lips?" she asked with raised eyebrows, struggling not to let out the laugh that was trying to escape.

"Uh-huh," he answered.

"Well don't forget to put some on his palms," Carly answered with a grin, taking one of the swabs and loading it up with the ointment.

Ginny came into the room a moment later to find George and Carly biting down on their bottom lips, giggling as the covered Charlie's palms in something out of a jar bearing the WWW logo. Shaking her head, she joined them, asking, "What does it do, and how long does it take to work?"

When Harry walked into the room a moment later, he found the three of them sitting on the floor in front of a sleeping Charlie, who was covered head to tow in soot from what looked like the Floo ride from Hell, with their shoulders shaking.

"Shhhh!" Ginny said, swatting at George.

"It should only take about another ten seconds," George said.

As Harry watched. Something began to happen to Charlie's face. Something looked like it was growing from his lips... something furry. George was pounding the floor with his fist in his mirth, and Ginny and Carly (he thought it was Carly since she was wearing lime green robes) were laughing so hard that they had tears running down their cheeks. He made a mental note to find out what they had used on Charlie and add it the long, long list of items that he kept in his head of things to watch out for while around the Weasleys. He was already careful not to eat or drink anything that they offered him, unless it was Mrs. Weasley dishing up the food. He was still trying to recover from the time Fred had tricked him into eating a 'special' bag of Fizzing Whizbees. Instead of the gentle levitation the candy was known to cause, Harry had rocketed to the common room ceiling and had been stuck there for over two hours while people made stupid comments such as, 'What's up, Harry?' when they saw him. What they would have done if he had eaten them while outside was something Harry didn't like to think about. At any rate, he would be back at Hogwarts by bedtime tonight, and would be marginally safer from their hijinx there. A sample of the fur-growing stuff to take back might be cool, though. He wondered what would happen if he dissolved some into Malfoy's tea; maybe he could get Dobby help him to pull it off. Then he wondered if Snape had a private bathroom in his office... a little of that stuff on a toilet seat had definite possibilities.

Fred came into the room, and knew immediately what was up. "Get out of here!" he hissed. "If he wakes up and sees you all watching him, he'll know it's a trick!"

All of them left Charlie there and went to the kitchen, leaving the door open so that they could hear him if he woke. Toolah looked at them all suspiciously, but served up sausages and eggs cheerfully enough. Ron soon joined them, his hair damp, and grinning as he saw Charlie on his way to breakfast. He joined the group at the table and got caught up on what they had done. They were all starting their meal when they heard Rowan saying from nearby, "Oh my God!" then her laughter as she came into the kitchen as demanded, "Why wasn't I allowed to help?"

"I have an entirely different prank in mind for you to try out later," George said mysteriously.

"So what are we doing today?" Ginny asked as she buttered her toast.

"Mum says you three have to finish your school work this morning," Fred said, gesturing to Harry, Ron and Ginny with his fork. "Then she's letting you come to Diagon Alley for a couple of hours with us. George and I are going to see Carly and Rowan to work, and then take care of some business at Gringotts and the shop. By then you three should be ready, and we'll meet you at the Leaky Cauldron; Mum'll send you by Floo."

"I wish we didn't have to go back to Hogwarts so soon," Ron groused.

"Don't you want to get back to Hermione?" Harry asked with an overly innocent air that made Ron eyes narrow in warning.

"Why didn't she come along, anyway?" George asked, mercifully sparing Ron some teasing at his apparently new development - that could wait until later. "Her parents he spooked about the attacks?"

"Yeah, they were," Ron nodded. "But had a big exam coming in Arithmancy, and she's also the only other Gryffindor Prefect, and with the stuff that's been going on, McGonagall thought it would be best that she stay behind."

"She sent Mum and Dad a really nice letter, though," Ginny added.

"Do you think you'll be done with your schoolwork by noon?" George asked as he took a bite of his eggs.

"I've only got Potions left," Harry said with a grimace. "Stupid Snape."

"I can't believe you got a high enough grade on your O.W.L. to get into the class." Ron said. "Come to think of it, I can't believe I did!"

"I think McGonagall or Dumbledore intervened in my case," Harry said. "Stupid Snape."

"I've only got a paper for Charms. It'll only take be about a half an hour," Ginny said.

"Good," Fred said, "We can have lunch at the Leaky Cauldron, then."

Rowan, Carly, Fred and George all exited. No one thought to leave instructions on how Charlie was supposed to remove the fur.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

"So," Fred asked Carly as they walked along the corridor that led to her cubicle. "Have you had time to look over the files that Swift gave you?"

"I read all of them, but I haven't made a decision yet, I should make up my mind by tomorrow, though, so I'll want to really think it over tonight. Are you going to be around? I'd like to have you as a sounding board and get your opinion." She said as they neared her desk.

"Winters." Marcus Appleby had just emerged from his own workspace and sniffed in greeting, completely ignoring Fred.

"Appleby." Carly answered with her own rude sniff. She grinned at Fred as she reached her own desk.

"I'll pick you up after work," he said, gathering her in for a kiss.

"I'll see you then," she smiled. "I can't wait to hear what happened with Charlie."

Carly took off her cloak and hung it on a nearby hook, and set down her bag. She left her desk to go and collect files, when she spotted Fred stepping into Marcus's cubicle.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

"I'm just leaving him a little present," Fred said innocently. He had a yellow lollipop in his hand, and Marcus's desk drawer open; without a any compunction, he dropped the sweet into the drawer and covered it with a quill.

"What is that?" She asked suspiciously.

"It won't hurt him," he assured her. "It's a new product called Sonorous Suckers. They'll just make everything he says come out amplified until he or someone else uses the Quietus charm on him."

"You're incorrigible," she laughed, leaving the scene of the crime with him. "That's one of the reasons I love you."

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

George walked up the staircase at the Daily Prophet with Rowan. They were both still chuckling over Charlie's condition as they rounded the corner that would lead them to her new office, only to find Rita Skeeter, wand out, trying to open the door. A casual glance downward had him noticing that she was wearing sparkly high-heeled shoes. 'Well now,' he thought to himself, 'Isn't that interesting?"

"Is there something you needed, Rita?" Rowan asked sweetly, making the other woman jump guiltily.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Rita bit out, angry at being caught. "My notes for the article I was writing about Dumbledore's complacent behavior during the Hogsmeade attack."

"Complacent behavior!" George's outraged reaction came out only slightly quieter than a roar.

Rowan and Rita merely raised an eyebrow at him as Rita said snidely, "Control your attack dog, Rowan and give me my notes."

Rowan simply looked Rita in the eye and said, "I haven't seen your notes. From the sound of your chosen topic, though, I would guess that they got thrown away as the complete rubbish they are."

"SKEETER!" The booming voice of Mr. Starsmore rumbled across the newsroom like thunder. He was striding to the center of the cubicles waving a sheaf of the light green parchment that Rita always used in the air.

"Oh," Rowan smiled wickedly. "I guess I was wrong. It looks like they're only about to be thrown out as the rubbish they are."

"IN MY OFFICE NOW!" he bellowed as he caught sight of her.

She glared at Rowan before turning with a grinding of her teeth and stalking off toward the boss's office.

George looked at Rowan shrewdly and said, "You gave him her notes, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," she answered, removing the charm that she used to keep out intruders as she opened her door. "Fudge might have been able to tell this paper what to print before, but Starsmore doesn't have to take orders from him anymore. He's not going to stand for that garbage now that everyone knows that Dumbledore was right all along."

"Good for you," he said, kissing her.

"Good for us all," she said. "I have to go out to Birmingham today. No, don't look at me like that; I'll have a photographer with me, and we're going by Floo straight to a house and back. It'll be fine."

"All right," he agreed. She had handled herself well on the night Percy had betrayed them, and he felt better knowing that she was fast on her feet. "Just be careful. I love you."

"I love you, too," she smiled. "You be careful yourself."

He left her in her office, and made a short detour to Rita's office, where he quickly coated the backside of her doorknob in the ointment they had used on Charlie. He was still whistling when he ran into Fred at the door of their shop.