No Laughing Matter

It was late afternoon the next day when Fred made it back to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Just in time to find Lee putting the 'closed' sign in the window and preparing to leave for the day. He was as tired as he could ever remember being, and though he hadn't really slept at all for two days, he at least felt that he had gotten a few things accomplished. He finished locking up the shop so that Lee could leave early, and went through the routine of checking that everything was as it should be before trudging up the steps to the apartment above the shop. He dropped his cloak somewhere in the vicinity of the hook by the door, and slumped into an armchair without even removing his boots. A wave of his wand lit a fire in the grate, and his eyes fluttered closed as he went over the past two days events in his head.

Bill had still been shaking his head, half in amusement, half in amazement at the story Fred had told him about the Marauder's Map and its capabilities when they arrived in Hogsmeade. They had arrived at the castle during the dinner hour, and entered the Great Hall to find Dumbledore at the head table talking with Professor Snape. He had looked up and seen them, and calmly took a sip of his wine and dabbed at his mouth with a napkin before excusing himself and moving to greet them.

Several of the students had spotted Fred and waved or called out a greeting, which he had returned absently as he watched his old headmaster approach. Even though he had been out of school for several months, he couldn't help but experience the feeling that he was about to be sentenced to a month's worth of detentions with Filch. He had seen Ron, Harry and Hermione looking puzzled at their presence, but they had stayed seated when he had gestured for them to stay put. They had put their heads together at once to discuss what it could possibly mean to have both Bill and him standing in the great hall in the middle of October. Bill had made a movement with his arm, and had Fred looked over to see Bill signaling to Ginny, who had been sitting further up the Gryffindor table, that everything was fine, and mouthing, "Don't worry."

Fred thought vaguely of moving to his bed, but the armchair was so comfortable...

"Bill, Fred," Dumbledore greeted them as if he had been expecting them. "Shall we meet in my office?" He turned and led the way without waiting for them to respond, with every appearance of cheerfulness.

They followed him to the stone gargoyle where Dumbledore uttered the password, "spice drops!" and then step onto the revolving stair. A stolen look at Bill told Fred that he seemed to be having the same sense of déjà vu that he was. Was there a Weasley that hadn't been called to this office at some point? Maybe Percy, he mused, though he was not amused by thoughts of his brother. He followed Bill and Dumbledore inside and took t seat that was offered to him in front of the large desk.

"What brings you to Hogwarts today?" Dumbledore asked without preamble.

"Professor, this morning there was an incident at the Malfoy estate that George and his girlfriend, Rowan were involved with," Bill began, sensing Fred's unease.

Dumbledore nodded, and said, "Yes. I have spoken with Kingsley Shacklebolt. He filled me in as best he could. I trust that George and Miss Winters are recovering?"

Fred nodded, and then said, "Sir, George woke up a while ago and gave me some news that we thought you should have. It concerns something he saw at the Malfoys, but I guess I need to go back a little father." He silently prayed that Harry would forgive him for divulging the secret of the map, and continued, "When George and I were at school, we, uh, liberated a certain item from Filch's office. It was called the Marauder's Map, and is map of Hogwarts, including all of it's secret passages out of the school."

Dumbledore surveyed Fred for a moment, and said, "And you bequeathed it to young Mr. Potter three years ago."

At Fred's stunned look, the headmaster chuckled before becoming serious again. "I know about the map, Mr. Weasley; it is still in Harry's possession." He'd made sure of it.

"Yes, well, then you probably know this map has certain abilities.... to tell where different people are within the castle and it's grounds."

Dumbledore nodded and motioned for him to continue with his confession, "You probably know, then, that the map was designed by four former students... one of which went by the name of Wormtail..." Fred paused to see if any of this was news to the older man.

Bill made the connection and swore under his breath at the implications of what he was hearing. He knew who Wormtail was from his dealings within the Order of the Phoenix.

"They've got Pettigrew working on re-creating the map, with Percy helping fill in missing details about the castle. According to George, it looked nearly complete, but it hasn't been enchanted yet," Fred finished, though it seemed unnecessary.

"I can't say that I haven't been expecting something like this since I learned of the map and it's makers," Dumbledore admitted. "Very well, then. Bill, I will need to ask you to return to headquarters and give a report to the others. Call a formal meeting; we will have to begin setting a watch at the Shrieking Shack."

"There's another tunnel that leads to Honeyduke's," Fred added feeling angry at the whole situation.

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded calmly. "I'm afraid that any tunnels, other than the one from the Whomping Willow into the Shrieking Shack, will need to be completely disabled."

"Shouldn't they all be destroyed?" Bill asked.

"We may need an alternative route out of the castle if the situation becomes too dire."

Dumbledore looked over his glasses at the two young men in front of him to be sure they understood the implications of his words. "If the castle is breached, the safety of the students will be our number one priority. The members called for the watch at the Shrieking Shack should have the ability to create portkeys, should it become necessary to evacuate the students to a safe location."

"What can I do?" Fred asked. He wanted to do something constructive, even if he was not to be allowed into the Order yet.

"Bill, if you would go and call that meeting, I will try to join you later, if possible. I am going to need Fred to stay here tonight to help make plans to secure the castle." Dumbledore walked him to the door of the office and added, "On your way out, would you please have Professor McGonagall send Harry to me here, with his map?"

Bill nodded and left without further questions. Dumbledore returned to his desk, took out his wand, and with a smooth movement conjured a plate of sandwiches and a flagon of pumpkin juice. He had not missed the tired look to Fred's face, or the dark circles beneath his eyes.

"I think that in the course of today's events, you may have neglected to eat properly," he said kindly, gesturing to Fred to take a sandwich. "It could be a while before Minerva locates Harry and gives him time to retrieve the map."

"Thank you," Fred said, reaching for the plate and biting into a thick ham and cheese. As soon as he took a bite, he realized that he was famished. He gratefully took the juice that Dumbledore poured for him and took a deep draught.

Dumbledore, too, took a sandwich, and began to eat; Fred and Bill's arrival had prevented him from finishing his own repast, and while he wasn't hungry in the strictest sense of the word, he didn't wish to make the young man in front of him uncomfortable by watching him eat. They sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying their meal, until Dumbledore finally said,

"I'm grateful that you came to me with this information, Mr. Weasley. I know that you feel frustrated with the restrictions that your mother places on you in regards to the Order. I have to say that I admire your restraint; we both know that you are old enough - and even eager - to join, and only refrain to honor your mother's wishes."

"Mum's been through a lot," Fred said, feeling the heat in the back of his neck as he fought not to blush. "What with dad getting bitten, Ron, Ginny and Harry at the Ministry, George and I leaving school to open the shop, and Percy, and all. George and I can't seem to bring ourselves to baldly ignore her feelings, even if we think she's wrong."

"Molly is a strong and capable woman with a deep and abiding love of family. Percy's seeming defection hit her as a blow, and this latest development isn't going to do anything to detract from her pain. It is as real a wound as any you could inflict on her person, and she bears up under the strain admirably," Dumbledore said quietly, knowing that he was not saying anything that wasn't already obvious to her son. "That being said I should tell you that even if you and George have not been accepted as a full members of the Order, your help has been and will continue to be, valuable to us. With your new business getting off the ground, and new love in your lives, you might find that full membership in the Order would be a heavier burden than you would expect."

"We could handle it," Fred said firmly.

"There's no doubt in my mind that you can," came the calm reply. "Order or not, you both may be called upon to help in your own unique way."

Fred nodded, and reached for his pumpkin juice again. There had been so many thoughts running through his mind all day, that he could scarcely believe that he had been planning to spend this day having a quiet picnic with Carly in the countryside.

"Tell me about Carly," Dumbledore said kindly, with the customary twinkle in his eye. "I believe that you've been seeing quite a bit of her lately. Extraordinary how things work out, isn't it? That you and George should unwittingly find identical twins in completely separate circumstances is remarkable."

Fred smiled in spite of his embarrassment at having Dumbledore ask about his love life. He was about to tell the headmaster all about her and her family (he felt that her aunt and uncle would be sympathetic to the Order, and possibly useful contacts), but was forestalled by a knock on the door. He turned in his seat to see Harry come in, looking nervous, and smiled at him in greeting. Harry looked faintly queasy as he took the chair next to Fred at Dumbledore's urging.

"Good evening, Harry," The old man said gently, to put Harry at eas, "Professor McGonagall asked you to bring a certain map with you?"

"Yes, sir," he took a worn piece of parchment from his pocket that Fred remembered quite fondly. "I've got right here."

He handed it over to Dumbledore, not meeting his gaze as he did so. Fred was sure that Harry didn't see the headmaster's lips twitch as he took the parchment and spread it on the surface of the desk. He vanished the plate of sandwiches and juice and looked up at the two boys, gestured to the blank parchment and said, "If I might ask?"

Harry's face flooded with color, and Fred cleared his throat to cover the laugh that was bubbling up inside him and stood up, "Allow me... I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!" He tapped the map with his wand and watched the spidery lines form the outline of the castle. He was surprised how much he had missed saying that particular phrase.

"Ingenious," Dumbledore said appreciatively, then said almost to himself. "But then James and Sirius were more brilliant by the age of twelve than many adult wizards."

Harry, looked as though he wasn't sure what all this was about, seemed to sense that he wasn't going to be reprimanded for being the owner of such a map, and listened curiously as Dumbledore gently pointed out the dangers posed by the secret tunnels that lead out of the school. Harry understood that sneaking into Hogsmeade was no longer going to be an option for him, for whatever the reason, and was horrorstricken at the fact that neither he, nor Ron or Hermione had thought of the implications of Pettigrew having been one of the creators of the map. For the next hour, he stood in front of Dumbledore's desk, next to Fred, and helped Dumbledore navigate the map and explain exactly how it worked. By the time Fred showed his former headmaster how to make the map go blank, (mischief managed!) Fred knew that Harry had a million questions running through his mind.

Fred could practically hear the gears turning in Harry's head, and could see the disappointed acceptance flit over his expression as Dumbledore locked his beloved map in his desk drawer. Harry was dismissed to return to Gryffindor Tower, and Fred was positive Ron and Hermione were waiting to hear every detail of his meeting. He could envision them huddled in a corner just downstairs under the guise of Prefect duties, waiting for Harry to come down the stairs out of this office. He had a shrewd suspicion that Dumbledore knew it, as well.

"Well, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore smiled at him. "You and George managed to keep this map secret all this time.... I'm impressed. I don't think it would be bragging to say that there isn't a lot that involves Harry that I am not aware of."

Fred nodded, not quite sure that he should be proud of the compliment he had just been given. Dumbledore, however, didn't seem to need him to give any explanations on the matter, and said, "Professors Snape and McGonagall should be joining us shortly. There are plans that need to be made in regards to the security and possible evacuation the school, should Voldemort's plans to invade the school succeed. I would appreciate it if you would stay to give us the benefit of your expertise in this area."

"Yes sir, professor."

At that point the other two Professors arrived. Though Professor Snape made it clear that he was less than enthusiastic about Fred's involvement, he subsided after a few calm words from the headmaster, and the four of them discussed some of the emergency plans that were already in place for the castle, and how they could be revised to be more effective, and made new plans. It was quite late when they all agreed that they had a good plan of evacuation for the students. They all prayed that they wouldn't need it. The only thing left was to alert the staff and perfects of the changes in security, and try to keep everything else as quiet as secret as possible so as not to cause a panic among the students.

Dumbledore invited Fred to stay in the guest quarters at the castle, or to arrange for him to have a room at the Three Broomsticks in the village, but Fred asked to stay in Gryffindor Tower. Dumbledore seemed to know without being told that he wanted to spend time with his siblings and to fill them in on their brother's injuries and recovery. He gave Fred permission, and the password to Gryffindor Tower, and Fred had left him to go over the plans they had just made once more.

He had climbed the stairs to Gryffindor tower, given the password to the Fat Lady, and climbed inside to find Ron, Ginny, Harry and Hermione alone by the fire, deep in discussion. Ginny spotted him first and cried, "Fred!"

"Fred!"

Fred opened his eyes and was surprised to find that he had drawn his wand simultaneously, and was pointing it at his father.

"Take it easy, son," Arthur said gently, withdrawing the hand he had put on his son's shoulder to rouse him. "I've just brought George home from hospital, and wanted to check in with you."

"What time is it?" Fred asked groggily, sitting up in the chair he had never gotten around to leaving.

"Nine o'clock, Tuesday morning."

"Hell," he replied, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus. He had not gotten nearly enough sleep, and the shop needed to be opened in about a half and hour. "Where is George?"

"He's in bed," Arthur said. "But he probably won't stay there. The only way that the healers would let him leave St. Mungo's was if he promised to go straight to bed and take it easy for another day or two. He's going to be a bit weak, and needs to take the potion they sent home with him every five hours."

Fred scrubbed his hands over his face wearily, trying to focus on what his father was telling him. He stood up with no real thought in his head but the fact that he needed a cup of tea, and a shower to wake him up. He was glad to know that George was well enough to come home, and he wondered idly Rowan had been released as well. He couldn't imagine George wanting to be released if Rowan had to stay there. He would have wanted to be near her until she was allowed to go as well. He supposed that both Rowan and Carly were now installed temporarily at the Winters' estate until things settled down.

His father followed him into the tiny kitchen, and took the kettle out of his hands when he Fred simply stood there, holding it as if he couldn't remember why he had picked it up. Urging him to sit in a chair at the table, Arthur took over the making of the tea, and within a couple of minutes; Fred was sipping at his first cup with a grateful sigh. Moments later, George stumbled blearily into the room with a blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, and sat in the other chair with a groan of, "Tea!"

Once both of his boys were sipping tea and eating the biscuits from a tin that he had taken from the pantry, Arthur took off his glasses and began polishing the lenses on a soft cloth taken from the pocket of his robes. Fred and George gave each other a meaningful look at this familiar gesture from their dad; they both knew that it was his way of stalling for time when he needed to say something that might not be well received. They watched him in silence for a few more moments before George finally said, "Just say it, Dad."

Arthur didn't pretend that he didn't understand what his son was talking about. He replaced his glasses, took a fortifying breath and said bluntly, "Percy was spotted fleeing the scene by Aurors when you and Rowan were attacked, George. The Ministry has officially listed him as a suspected Death Eater, and there's been a reward posted for his capture."

Fred just sat with is mouth hanging open, waiting for someone to tell him that this was all a big joke. George issued a single succinct swear, then asked, "Mum?"

"Coping," Arthur said grimly. "Barely."

Fred sighed, stood without a word, and made his way to the small fireplace against the far wall. He kneeled down, took a pinch of powder from the pot nearby and tossed it into the flames and called, "The Burrow!"

He held his breath as he plunged his head into the fire and surveyed the kitchen of his parents' home. Molly was sitting at the table, a lonely figure, with her hands wrapped around a mug, and red-rimmed eyes staring off into space. Fred swallowed the lump that rose in his throat at the sight, and called softly, "Mum!"

Molly's eyes came back into focus as she spotted her son in the fire, and she left the table to stand in front of her own fireplace, "Hello, dear."

"Mum, I hate to ask, but can you come to work at the shop today?" Fred asked quietly. "I mean, it's Lee's day off, George is still recovering, and I need to sleep more than I need to breathe. We could really use a hand."

"Of course I can," she said brusquely, wiping at her eyes and patting her disheveled hair. "I just need fifteen minutes to pull myself together, and I'll be right there."

Fred returned to the kitchen, sat opposite George again, and said, "Mum's going to come in and see to the shop today so George can recover, and I can get some sleep."

Arthur nodded and patted him on the back in a proud and grateful gesture. They all knew that Molly would be better off if she could keep herself busy, and Fred had just given her the perfect way to set her troubles aside for a few hours. George touched his fist to Fred's in a long-practiced gesture of solidarity, and then said, "Someone should tell Ron, Ginny and Harry before they read it in the Prophet, or hear about it from one of the other kids at school."

"Dumbledore is seeing to it, though I don't know how much of the story will make it into the Prophet right away. Fudge will want to keep it as quiet as possible that yet another person close to him has been found to be in league You-Know-Who." Arthur seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment, and then spoke again in a somewhat amused voice. "Remus Lupin is at Headquarters right now, waiting for word that Ron and Ginny have been told the news; then he's planning on sending an anonymous tip to the paper himself. We're going to take a page out of Fudge's book, and try to use the media to our advantage, calling on him to resign his post. Madam Bones is in an excellent position to replace him; she's fair and honest, and she supports Dumbledore, though she isn't a member of the Order. Fudge has seen how much popularity she's gained recently, and he's been looking for a way to tarnish her character, but hasn't been able to come up with anything."

"Carly's Aunt Suzette and Madam Bones are good friends. Is the Order absolutely sure that Fudge isn't in league with You-Know-Who himself?" Fred asked; his brow furrowed as he thought of how this news would affect his family.

"As sure as we can be," came the unsatisfactory reply. "Fudge may be the mother of all idiots, but we have no solid evidence to support the idea that he isn't just incredibly foolish in his choice of acquaintances and ministerial decisions. Frankly, I just don't think that he's so good an actor that he could have fooled Dumbledore all this time, and Dumbledore himself had taken to referring to Fudge as 'that near-sighted fool'. Time will tell, I suppose. It shouldn't be long now before his remaining supporters abandon him like rats on a sinking ship."