Foreshadowing the Unexpected

Chapter 27 - The Wait

One cannot change the past, but one can ruin the present by worrying over the future.--Anonymous

Connor woke from his nap after the episode with Rupert to find his friends had returned and were quietly waiting for him to wake.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked groggily, sitting up a little.

"Dunno," Quentin said, "but we just got here about ten minutes ago. Madam Cosgrove told us not to wake you."

"I think she's keeping me drugged so I don't drive her barmy, asking when I'm going to get out of here," Connor joked. "What's been going on in school?"

"Nothing much." Ivy shrugged. "Classes Thursday were mostly revision of stuff we've already gone over. Professor Binns was going on about goblin wars of the eighteenth century, Charms was preparation for Cheering Charms, and Flitwick assigned us an essay about them. On Friday, Ms Grayson talked about hinkypunks, and didn't give us any homework. Professor Thompson lost his voice in the first fifteen minutes of class, and just had us reading and summarising the chapter we started last week."

"Professor Lyra's got us working with crystals," Zack said. "She set an essay on the different types of crystals used for divination. You've got plenty of time to make that one up, I already finished mine, so I can help you with yours. I'm assuming you're learning the same stuff in Care of Magical Creatures as my class, and we talked about runespoors. Professor Grubbly-Plank said she was holding off on assigning an essay until she knows if she can get a specimen to show the class."

"We brought you some of your books and stuff," Quentin said, with an expression that told Connor it hadn't been his idea to do so, "but I don't think any of the teachers really expect you to be caught up right away."

Connor talked with his friends for over two hours and then began to tire again. Madam Cosgrove came and shooed everyone away, then gave Connor three different potions and some biscuits with milk, saying he needed to have something in his stomach so that the potions wouldn't make him sick.

"I don't remember ever getting biscuits and milk when I was ill," Remus said as he entered while Connor was eating. Connor grinned and wordlessly offered him some, but Remus declined. "I just wanted to check and see how you were. I met with Severus, who seemed to think that your visit with Rupert earlier might have upset you."

Connor sighed and finished his milk, pushing away the remainder of his biscuits. "He was just being Rupert," Connor said heavily. "He doesn't know how to think about anybody but himself. I think Professor Snape's ready to strangle him."

"I think you could be right," Remus said wryly. "Want to tell me about his visit?"

Connor told him about how Rupert had come to see him acting contrite, then defensive, about his actions. Remus listened calmly, with a bland expression, then simply shook his head. "Professor Snape will sort him out if anyone can," he said. "Or the next full moon will."

"Uncle Remus," Connor asked quietly, "what's it going to be like to transform? What should I expect?"

Remus studied Connor's face earnestly for a few moments, then nodded decisively. "I want to believe that you shouldn't expect anything at all, because you won't be changing--but there's no way to know if that's true. I reckon it's best if you know what I can tell you, so that you can be as calm as possible if it happens.

"It will probably start a few hours before the moon is actually full, but not always. Keeping busy and trying to keep focussed on other things may help. Like Rupert, you may feel very ill beforehand - feverish, nauseous, dizzy. I usually just begin to feel run-down and tired, and often very thirsty, though I'm not sure why.

"Not long before the transformation begins, I usually begin to itch all over, as if my skin were crawling with ants. That's the skin preparing itself for what's about to happen. It gets stretched and hairy and generally abused during the entire process as it adjusts to its new shape. After the moon is completely full, the real transformation begins, and happens relatively quickly, though it will most likely seem like hours instead of minutes. With any luck at all, you won't be conscious for it.

"Your bones will become almost fluid for a few minutes while they re-shape themselves into the image of the wolf. That's the part that really hurts--bones aren't meant to do that, and they fight the inevitable every time. Your head will ache as your skull changes shape, forcing your brain to do the same. All of this is extremely painful, but the pain recedes once the transformation is complete.

"Because there won't be any Wolfsbane for you this time, you'll lose all sense of your human self. You will a werewolf, only, driven solely by the need to be free, and to hunt, and to kill humans. When you aren't able to free yourself from your prison, chances are, you'll fly into an animalistic rage and attack the only living thing that's available to you."

"Myself," Connor said in a wavering voice. His heart was pounding fiercely in his chest, and he could feel the tears forming in his eyes. He knew that his uncle had tried to be as honest as possible without being to graphic with the details, but it was still unbearably awful to think that he might be enduring everything that had just been described to him.

"Yourself." Remus said sadly, resting a comforting hand on Connor's knee. He waited to give Connor a minute to assimilate it all, before asking, "Do you have any other questions?"

"You said that hopefully I wouldn't be conscious for it," Connor said. "You mean the pain will make me pass out?"

"That would be one possibility," Remus said honestly, "but Severus has been working on developing a very strong sedative that will hopefully be strong enough to tranquillise a werewolf, but not so strong that it would be fatal to humans."

"They're going to try to knock me out?" Connor asked hopefully. If anyone could manage it, Professor Snape could!

"That's the plan. If you change, we're hoping that even if you're not asleep, you will be sufficiently sedated, and you won't be aware of what's happening to you. If you don't change, you'll sleep peacefully through the night, and no harm done."

Connor was quiet, allowing all of this to penetrate his mind and be understood. After a few torturous minutes, Connor asked timidly, "Uncle Remus?"

"What is it, Connor?" Remus's eyes were full of sadness and compassion.

Connor leaned forward, put his arms around his uncle, and allowed a sob to escape him before managing to murmur, "I'm scared!"

"I know you are, Connor," Remus answered, returning the embrace, stoking Connor's messy hair. "I know."

----------0---------

Harry and Ginny arrived at just the moment that their son threw himself into Remus's arms. They wanted to take Connor home during the month-long wait ahead. Connor tearfully argued against it, but it was Professor Lupin who finally convinced them that it was a bad idea.

"It will pose too many uncomfortable questions--too many people have seen that he's nearly recovered from his accident. Connor will fare much better here, where he has plenty of distractions to keep his mind occupied. He has end-of-year exams coming up to revise for, and Elizabeth is going to work with him on learning some Spanish. At home, he'd simply brood until things become so overwhelming in his mind, that it will end up utterly consuming him." Lupin argued. "Here, he has several professors and an uncle to look out for him."

Ginny and Harry reluctantly agreed and left the school only after Connor had been pronounced fit enough to leave the Hospital Wing.

After Connor said good-bye to his parents on Monday evening, he dressed, looking forward to returning to Gryffindor and spending the night in his own bed. Some of his wounds were still raw and bandaged, but there was not enough reason to keep him from resuming his daily activities as long as he took it easy. He was all ready to go, when Professor Lyra showed up.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Madam Cosgrove said I was well enough to go back to Gryffindor," Connor said eagerly.

"Sorry, but it's going to have to wait a little bit longer," Professor Lyra said. "We need to make sure your mental shields are going to hold when you go out into the castle. Another accidental Healing at this stage would be disastrous."

Connor couldn't believe he'd forgotten about his mental defences in all of the commotion of the past couple of days. Loathe to get back into bed, he chose to sit in a chair near Professor Lyra for the exercise. He felt the familiar tug at his mind that said that she was monitoring everything as he took his time tearing down his defences and building them up again. He was surprised at how much of his defensive wall was intact after such a traumatic ordeal. True, it was very thin in places, but it was there.

By the time he felt the comforting silence in his head that only allowed his thoughts to enter, he was feeling tired again.

"That was actually better than I was expecting," Professor Lyra told him with a smile.

"Yeah," Connor agreed. "I kind of expected things to be a mess after Healing Rupert and everything."

"I'm sure it was a mess," Profess Lyra answered. "It seems your mind repaired its own defences as best it could once you lost consciousness."

"How can it do that?" he asked, feeling confused.

"It's what we've been working toward, Connor," Lyra said with a chuckle. "Your mind is becoming strong enough to protect you when you need it most, and to rebuild your defences, even when you're not aware of it."

Connor felt a bit awed. It was fascinating to get a chance to see how much he was progressing with his Occlumency--not that he ever wanted to repeat what he had gone through. "So I can go back to Gryffindor now?"

"Yes." She smiled. "You can go back to Gryffindor now."

Connor wasn't feeling quite fit enough to run back to the tower, but he did go as quickly as he could. He avoided the secret passageways, in case he had any kind of trouble on the way, and approached the Fat Lady with the password: Neutiquam erro! He crawled through the portrait hole to find all of his friends waiting for him inside.

"Surprise!" they all called. "Welcome back!"

Connor grinned broadly at the sight of his friends waiting to greet him. Even Clio was hooting and chirping excitedly, and Circe was rubbing affectionately against his legs.

It looked like they had the makings of a nice little party going. He allowed himself to be guided to an armchair by the fire, where Clio immediately joined him and began grooming his hair while he answered everyone's questions. He did the best he could without compromising the truth, rather successfully he imagined. They ate the treats someone had smuggled up from the kitchen, turned on the wizarding wireless, and generally had a good time.

The Weasleys expressed their outrage that Slytherin house seemed to be determined to kill Connor off, and half-heartedly plotted revenge. Many others agreed.

"Last year it was Vanessa Malfoy, and this year it's that little Dursley kid!" Victoria announced with loathing. Rupert hadn't made himself very popular among the Weasleys. "What's it going to be next year?"

"Bite your tongue," Rachel said. "Don't invite more trouble than he's already had!"

"We should figure out how to change their password so none of them can get back into their common room without saying that Slytherin stinks, or something," Shawn Weasley suggested.

"We should shove Dursley into a vanishing cabinet," Aiden said with an enthusiastic expression.

"It wasn't really all Rupert's fault," Connor said in a placating tone when the revenge plots against Rupert and Slytherin started getting a little less outlandish and sounding a little more personal. "It was stupid to go to Snape instead of the hospital wing, but he couldn't help it that he sneezed at the wrong time. It was just really bad luck."

With the mood broken, the party wound down, and people began gathering their things.

"Hey Connor," Aiden asked as everyone began to head up to bed, "how come your precognition didn't warn you this was going to happen?'

Connor was about to lie, and tell him that it had warned him, only seconds too late. Luckily Rachel came to his rescue, and made lying unnecessary.

"That's what the Occlumency lessons have been for," she said in an aggrieved tone. "It's to keep him from having visions all over the place. Haven't you noticed he's hardly had any at all this year?"

"Now that you mention it, I hadn't noticed," Aiden said, "but you're right. It's been a quiet year as far as that goes." He looked almost disappointed about it as he bid everyone good night.

"Honestly," Rachel muttered as she watched him go. "Sometimes I wonder if he's been hit with too many bludgers."

"I think I'll turn in, now," Connor said with a jaw-popping yawn as the clock chimed ten. "I'll bet I've got loads of class work to get caught up on."

"You only missed three days of classes," Ivy said bracingly. "It just seems like more because you were in the hospital wing over the weekend. You'll be fine."

"C'mon Clio, good night, Ivy, good night, Rachel," Connor said, shoving himself to his feet and following Quentin up the stairs. He stroked Clio's wing as he climbed. "S'too late to take you up to the Owlery. You can go back through the dorm window."

Clio hooted disdainfully at this suggestion, and Quentin chuckled. "Looks like you're going to be stuck with her tonight."

Zack brought up the rear, yawning widely. "It's been so quiet in the dorm the last few nights without your snoring," he told Connor's back, "I don't think any of us has gotten a decent nights' sleep in ages."

-----------0---------

Connor sat at the Gryffindor table the next morning looking normal, except for a couple of bandages visible on his arm from time to time when the sleeve of his robe slipped up. Students from other tables smiled or waved at him in welcome, and Connor felt very happy to be back. Clio had gone back to the Owlery, presumably when Connor had let her out of the window that morning.

"It's Tuesday," Connor said as he finished his porridge. "Which means Transfiguration and Charms first. I got the summary for Chapter 23 finished for Thompson on Saturday night, and the essay on Cheering Charms finished on Sunday. Binns didn't assign anything, and I haven't missed a Herbology class."

"You sound eager," Quentin said in surprise. "You're ruining a perfectly good opportunity to skive off homework!"

"I can't afford to fall behind again," Connor said. "Exams are coming up soon, and I want to get good marks."

"You should be taking his attitude," Rachel said to Quentin. "I started revising for my exams weeks ago."

"That's because you're insane," Quentin shot back, "The only students who started that long ago are the ones sitting their O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s."

While Quentin and Rachel bickered good-naturedly back and forth, Connor pulled out a piece of parchment and began to make a list. He was determined to fill each and every one of his days with as much activity or revision as possible, to keep his mind off of the long wait until the full moon.

While he was scribbling out a revision schedule, a pretty tawny owl swooped to drop a note in front of him. He unfolded the pale green parchment and read the brief note written in Ms Grayson's neat and flowing script.

Please meet me in the Defence Against the Dark Arts office on Friday evening at six o'clock to begin your Spanish tutoring. Signed, E.G.

"Got a girlfriend, Con?" Zack asked, eyeing the parchment.

"No, why?" Connor asked quizzically.

"Only girls use coloured parchment," Zack said with an expression that said he found the practice dubious.

"It's from Ms Grayson, saying that she wants to start teaching me Spanish on Friday," Connor said, knowing this would raise questions.

"Why on earth would you want to learn Spanish, on top of everything else you have to do?" Ivy asked with a laugh, as though she thought Connor was joking.

Rachel took the parchment from him and said, "You're not kidding!"

"What's up, Connor?" Quentin asked, taking the parchment from Rachel and looking it over before passing it back to Connor.

"I've, er, been accepted into a Potions program in South America over the summer," Connor answered, telling them what he had been coached to say about it. "The family I'll be staying with wants me to learn some Spanish so that it'll be easier to communicate with me while I'm there."

"South America?" Rachel asked in surprise. "Why didn't I know about this?" Her tone asked, why wasn't I invited, as well?

"I just found out myself," Connor said. "Professor Snape submitted my name. I think it's a pretty exclusive program--they only take a handful of students each year, and they have to be recommended by a Potions Master."

Rachel looked both impressed and slightly insulted at the same time. "It sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"It sounds like torture!" Quentin corrected. "A whole summer of intense Potions studying?"

"No thanks," Zack said good-naturedly. "So, do you really think you'd like to be a Potions Master some day?"

"He's smart enough," Ivy said before Connor could answer.

"I think I'd like that," Connor admitted, feeling faintly embarrassed, but proud. "Potions just seems to make sense in a way that none of my other subjects does."

"And you get to go all the way to South America?" Rachel asked wistfully. "What part?"

"Peru, I think," Connor answered. "That's where the instructor lives."

"I'm so jealous!" Rachel said as she gathered her book bag. "You'll have to keep a journal while you're there so you can tell us all about it when you get back!"

They all collected their things and began to leave the Great Hall for class, still talking about Connor's summer plans as they walked.

"When will you leave?" Ivy asked as they bid Rachel good-bye and made their way to the Transfiguration classroom.

"I'm not sure," Connor answered truthfully. "My parents are working out the details of getting there and everything, but I think I leave the last week of June, and come home the third week of August."

"The whole summer, then!" Quentin said. "Sorry about that."

Connor shrugged. "I don't mind. I'm really looking forward to it, actually."

---------0---------

After his first night back in Gryffindor Tower, Connor had trouble sleeping. His dreams were turbulent and confusing--no amount of meditation or Occlumency blocked them out. He spent the majority of his sleep time reading by wandlight until the sun came up, and pretended that there was nothing wrong with only getting four or five hours of sleep at a time.

Connor worked on his homework, revision, and research for the Marauder's Map at an almost frantic pace over the next three days. He couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom as the days slipped by. He seemed to be living in a strange time flux, where one moment the minutes seemed to drag interminably on, and the next moment he wondered where all the time had gone. He did everything he could think of to keep from dwelling on the fact that his entire future would be determined by what would happen at the end of the month.

Professor Snape seemed to understand Connor's need to stay occupied, and had him doing ingredient preparation for the entirety of the their usual Wednesday brewing session. Snape also assigned Connor an extra essay about bezoars, even though bezoars had nothing whatsoever to do with the potion they were working on.

"Connor, are you all right?" Quentin asked him on Friday afternoon, as Connor was flipping purposefully through a huge book of Identification Charms.

"I'm fine!" Connor answered quickly. "I just have a lot to work on before school's out for the summer holidays."

"That's nearly two months!" Quentin said incredulously.

"I know, I just want to be prepared," Connor said cryptically. "Do you think the Map might identify people by their wands, instead of... no. Never mind, the ghosts don't carry wands, and Mrs. Norris and Filch didn't, either."

Quentin still looked a bit worried, but went along with Connor's enthusiasm over finding the key to identifying people on the map. "That's a good thought, though," Quentin said, "we can't rule out the possibility that the Marauders used more than one charm. None of the other animals in the castle show up, and neither do the house elves. Just students, and anyone with the power to get the students into trouble...."

"I think you might be onto something, there!" Connor said eagerly, thinking aloud now that the idea had caught his attention. "The house elves mind their own business, and would never get a student in trouble unless it was something really, really bad, I'll bet. Mrs. Norris was just....weird. She had some sort of connection to Filch, and reported to him or something, so it would make sense for her to show up, but not other animals around, because none of them is going to go off trying to get a student into trouble. Ghosts can get us in trouble, and Peeves is trouble. How does it all tie into the map, though? How does it know?"

At that point, Zack, Rachel and Ivy came to the table, and the discussion went around in circles, with them being no closer to an answer than they had been before. In the end, Connor checked out the book he'd been reading in the hopes of finding something new, and they all went to dinner, careful not to talk openly about it in front of other students.

--------0--------

After dinner, Connor went to the Defence Against the Dark Arts office, ready for his first Spanish lesson with Ms Grayson. Professor Lupin was seated in an armchair by the fire, grading essays, but stood and gathered his things when Connor came in. "I'll leave the two of you alone for this."

"Buenos tardes, Connor," Ms Grayson greeted brightly. "¿Cómo se va?"

Connor wasn't sure how to answer this, so he simply said, "Hello."

Ms Grayson laughed and gestured for Connor to take a seat in front of the desk, while she took a seat behind it. "I said, Good evening, Connor, how are you?"

"Good evening," Connor said with a hint of a question in his voice, not sure if he was meant to answer her original statement. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you," Ms Grayson answered. "In Spanish, that would be: Muy bien, gracias."

"All right," Connor said, feeling a little foolish.

"Here, this will help," she said, sliding a book across the desk to him. "It's a book of common phrases that you'll probably need to know. How to ask questions about where to find different items and places and things like that--normal every day conversation."

Connor took the book, and flipping through it, saw that it was divided into sections and alphabetised. He took a moment to search under the topics and found the page he wanted quickly. "Muchas Gracias."

For the remainder of the lesson, Ms Grayson asked Connor questions slowly in Spanish and waited patiently for him to look up the words and work out a reply. She corrected him when necessary, and helped him with putting words into the right order. At the end of an hour, she was smiling.

"You're doing very well, Connor," she said encouragingly. "I've written a list of phrases that I'd like you to translate and work out the answers to before we meet again. You can ask me at any time if you have a question, and we'll go over the phrases and the answers next time. Does that sound all right?"

"Si," Connor said with a smile.

Ms Grayson laughed and sent him on his way saying, "That's the spirit! Let try to meet again on Monday."

---------0--------

Over the weekend, Connor got permission from Professor Lupin to play in a pick-up Quidditch match, and spent several hours out on his broomstick, enjoying the spring air and being with his friends. Clio seemed to be following Connor everywhere he went, as if afraid he'd disappear again, to somewhere she couldn't reach him, like when he'd been in the hospital wing. She perched on the top of the Quidditch stadium seats while he played, and then moved to his shoulder when he went indoors. She crooned to Connor as she groomed his hair, as if she could sense his sudden distress and was trying to comfort him.

Madam Cosgrove refused to let Connor practice Healing so soon after his accident and subsequent injuries. She insisted that he rest and finish healing, and that she would see how he was feeling in a week or so before continuing their lessons. Connor was frustrated by this, and argued that he could still practice wanded healing, but to no avail. Madam Cosgrove wouldn't budge in her opinion that Connor needed rest and relaxation for the time being.

The rest of the weekend Connor spent working on studying his Spanish. He dove into learning Spanish as though learning it was the key to fending off the possibility that he would not be able to go to Peru over the summer.

Ivy and Rachel sat patiently across the table with him in the common room all of Sunday evening, testing him on his translations and answers. Connor knew that his pronunciation was off, but at least he had most of the phrases memorized. At one point, Quentin and Zack sat down at their table and tried to decipher what Connor was saying, but quickly gave up and went to play Exploding Snap, instead.

"Wow, Connor," Ivy said when it was time to go to bed on Sunday night, "You're doing really well. I guess you're really serious about this Potions program!'

Connor nodded a bit distractedly. "Thanks for quizzing me on it. You, too, Rachel."

Both girls smiled and then looked at him curiously when he pulled out his schoolbag and instead of packing away his Spanish notes, pulled out a Potions text and parchment.

"Connor, it's a bit late to start another project, don't you think?" Rachel asked, sounding a little concerned.

Connor looked up at her, and the glanced at the clock. "I guess I didn't realise it was so late," he lied. "You're right."

Rachel and Ivy both looked relieved when he put his things away and stood up.

"You've been working awfully hard lately," Ivy said to him. "Don't worry so much. You're all caught up in your classes, and you're doing great with your Spanish. You can afford to relax a bit."

"I didn't think I'd ever say this," Rachel added, "but you've been studying too much. You've been looking like some of the seventh years, going spare over their N.E.W.T.s coming up. Go on and get some sleep."

Connor agreed obediently. As he entered the room, he saw that Andrew was already asleep, and Zack and Quentin were changing into their pyjamas. He collected his toiletry kit, went to shower, and when he returned, found that Zack and Quentin both had their bed hangings drawn.

Climbing into his own bed, Connor drew his hangings, got out his Potions book and parchment, and started on his essay on bezoars.

----------0---------

On Monday morning, Connor was exhausted. He had finished his essay and tried to sleep, but had woken after three hours and hadn't been able to get back to sleep.

By the time he got to his Advanced Potions class after lunch, he was dragging his feet.

"Are you ill, Mr Potter?" Professor Snape had asked him during class, when his potion wasn't coming out the correct shade of blue.

"No, sir," Connor answered honestly. "Just not sleeping well."

Professor Snape studied him for a moment before saying, "See me after class." He strode back to the front of the classroom and continued instructions without looking at Connor again.

The other students looked at Connor sympathetically, obviously believing that he was going to be in trouble for his poor performance in class. However, once everyone has left the classroom, Connor approached Professor Snape's desk, and was surprised to be handed a small phial that he recognised as Dreamless Sleep Potion.

"I will inform Madam Cosgrove that I have dispensed this to you. Do not make a habit of relying upon it in the future. I needn't tell you how dangerous that could be."

"No, sir," Connor answered. Sleeping without dreaming for prolonged periods of time could bring on psychotic episodes, among other things. "I'll be careful."

"Dismissed," was the only reply Professor Snape gave before turning and going to his office.

Connor pocketed the potion and hurried to Defence Against the Dark Arts class, where Professor Lupin met him at the door and led him back out into the corridor.

"Your friends are worried about you, Connor," he said without preamble, tipping Connor's face up to see the dark circles beneath his eyes. "I can see why: you look worn out. Would you like to go and see Madam Cosgrove?"

"No," Connor said tiredly. "I have some Dreamless Sleep to take tonight, so I should be fine tomorrow."

"It's nightmares, then," Lupin said sympathetically. It wasn't really a question. "I'm sorry."

"I'll be all right," Connor said with a wan smile.

The bell rang then, and Lupin allowed Connor to take his place in the classroom without further argument.

--------0--------

"I'm very impressed, Connor!" Ms Grayson said that evening after their lesson. "You've obviously worked hard over the weekend to master these phrases. I didn't expect you to make so much progress."

Connor smiled at the praise. He had worked hard, and was proud of himself.

"However," she continued in a sterner tone, "I didn't mean for you to forego sleep to learn them."

"I didn't!" Connor denied hurriedly. "I mean, I wasn't sleeping well, but it wasn't because I was working on Spanish. I was working more on Spanish because I couldn't sleep!"

"Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked with concern.

"Bad dreams," Connor admitted.

"About werewolves?" she asked, looking sad.

"Not particularly," Connor said with a shrug. "I've had one or two like that, but it's been other stuff, too: falling from a broom, being chased by wild animals, drowning--that sort of thing."

Ms Grayson nodded in understanding. "Anxiety dreams. You're feeling out of control of your life, and it's manifesting itself while you sleep."

"I guess," Connor said, shrugging again. It did make sense. "Once I wake up after having one of those dreams, I can't get back to sleep."

"I know what you mean," she said kindly. "I've had that problem myself, at times. Have you seen Madam Cosgrove? She may give you something to help."

"Professor Snape gave me some Dreamless Sleep Potion for tonight," he told her. "He said he'd tell Madam Cosgrove he gave it to me."

"Good," Ms Grayson approved. "Then I want you to go back to your room, and go straight to bed."

"I will," Connor promised, gathering his bag. "Do you have more for me to study?"

Ms Grayson held out a piece of parchment and said, "This is not to be even looked at tonight. Your assignment tonight is for you to get a good night's sleep."

Connor folded the parchment in half without looking at it, and tucked it into his bag.

He made his way back to his common room and was met by Rachel, looking stern. He didn't even have to ask, he simply held up his hands defensively and said, "I'm going to bed right now!"

He didn't even wait to hear her call, "Good!" before he was hurrying up the stairs.

---------0--------

The rest of the week was much better for Connor. The potion he had taken seemed to do the trick to break the chain of nightmares that had been keeping him from sleeping. He still had an occasional nightmare, but he understood why he was having them and was able to go back to sleep afterward.

Over the following days, letters arrived almost daily from Connor's parents, offering encouragement and distraction with news from home. By unanimous decision, none of the other family members, including Ian, Lucy and Adam, knew what Connor was facing at the end of the month. No one would be told anything until they knew for sure what the future was going to be. All anyone knew was what everyone else had been told--Connor had been in an accident involving an exploding cauldron.

Adam drew pictures to cheer up his big brother, and Lucy and Ian sent letters and sweets. Connor wrote back to them that he was feeling much better, and that there was nothing to worry about.

Connor still studied with a single minded focus to keep his thoughts from wandering too far into the possibilities ahead of him, but didn't let his work make him ill. He tried hard over the following week to incorporate some fun into his schedule, though the fact that he hadn't played Gobstones, chess, or Exploding Snap in a long time meant that he didn't win very often.

When there was only one week left until the full moon, Connor began to sleep poorly again, and suffered from frequent stomach aches. He didn't have much of an appetite to speak of, and he could tell that his friends were becoming worried about him again.

Connor only saw Rupert at mealtimes, but the other boy never made eye contact. It was obvious that Rupert was continuing to drop weight rapidly. Connor began watching him for any signs that the approaching full moon was affecting him in any way. He wasn't sure what symptoms were caused by the waxing moon, though, and which ones were brought on by nerves.

Finally the day before the full moon dawned, and Connor hadn't slept for more than an hour. It was a Friday, and his stomach jumped nervously at every little sound that he wasn't prepared for. At breakfast, Professor McGonagall approached and told him kindly that she wanted him to see Madam Cosgrove after the meal, and that he was to be excused from classes for the day.

While Connor knew that this was most likely the best course of action, he half resented having his only distraction from the coming night taken away. He ignored his friends' concerned looks as Professor McGonagall walked away, and picked listlessly at his breakfast.

"Connor," Rachel said timidly after a few minutes of silence, "what's going on with you? For the past month, you've been acting strange, and you look like you're making yourself ill. Is there something wrong you're not telling us about?"

"I'll be fine, Rachel," Connor said with a tired sigh. "I've just got a lot of pressure on me right now, from a lot of different things, and it's getting to me, is all. That cauldron explosion... I guess I'm still letting it bother me."

"You've been having a lot of bad dreams lately, mate," Quentin said in an apologetic tone.

Connor simply nodded.

"Madam Cosgrove will get you sorted out," Zack said encouragingly, sounding as though he wasn't sure he believed it. "Just try to relax and let her help you."

Connor nodded again. What could he say? I'll know by tomorrow if my entire life has been turned upside down and if I'll become a human-flesh-craving-lycanthrope once a month from now on?

Connor was touched and pleased when his friends all walked with him by unspoken agreement to the hospital wing after breakfast. They said good-bye to him at the entrance to the infirmary, waiting until he had gone inside before leaving.

---------0---------

"Mr Potter," Professor Snape greeted him as Connor went looking for Madam Cosgrove in her office. "Madam Cosgrove will be here momentarily; she has gone to fetch Mr Dursley."

"Are we in trouble or something?" Connor asked uncertainly. Maybe Rupert was doing even worse that Connor himself was?

"Guilty conscience, Potter?" Professor Snape smirked mildly. "No, you're not in trouble this time. You both need to be weighed, and to have everything that you can expect explained to you before the full moon commences."

"Weighed, sir?" Connor asked, then added, "I've already had a talk with Professor Lupin about what to expect."

"I'm aware of the extent of your knowledge on the subject, Mr Potter, but there are still some items that need to be addressed. Your parents will also be joining us shortly." Snape said this last sentence sourly, but didn't expound upon his dislike of spending time in the company of the Potters. "You will be weighed so that I can determine the correct dosage of the sedative you will be consuming this evening, and any other potions deemed necessary."

Connor nodded, and Professor Snape told him to remove his outer robes and his shoes in order to get the most accurate measurements. Stepping onto the scale, it was easy for Connor to see that he'd lost a bit of weight since the last time he'd been weighed. Still, he was willing to bet it was no where near as significant as the amount of weight that Rupert had lost.

Rupert came through the office door with Madam Cosgrove, looking miserable and afraid. He didn't make any eye contact with either Connor or Professor Snape after seeing them standing by the scale.

"That's you done for the moment," Professor Snape told Connor while marking a parchment on the desk. "You may put your shoes and robe back on. Mr Dursley, remove your shoes and outer robe, please, and step up onto the scale."

"Yes, sir," Rupert answered in a low, sulky tone. He actions seemed mechanical and forced, but he obeyed Professor Snape without question.

Connor had no idea how much Rupert had weighed before, but the number was still quite high, in Connor's opinion, for a twelve year old boy. "He wasn't sure if it was a kind thought or not, but he found himself thinking that at least one good thing might come out of all of this, at least for Rupert.

"Right, then," Madam Cosgrove said once both boys were weighed and seated in front of her desk. "We have a few things to discuss, and you will both be taking several potions over the next few hours. We're just waiting for Mr and Mrs Potter to arrive, and we can get started."

"Why do we have to wait for them?" Rupert asked. His tone was more curious than demanding, but Professor Snape gave him a warning glance anyway, before going back to measuring out a glowing orange potion into two metal cups.

"Mr Potter is your legal guardian in the wizarding world, Mr Dursley. His permission is required for any treatment you receive here. The same goes for Connor." Madam Cosgrove explained.

"What about my parents?" Rupert asked. "Do they know what's going on?"

"Didn't you write to them?" Connor asked, bewildered.

"Mr Dursley has been instructed to keep his own counsel in this matter," Professor Snape said abruptly. "He parents have been informed of his situation, but have not yet replied to any missives sent on the subject."

Rupert's lower lip trembled slightly, but he said nothing more. Connor couldn't imagine his parents knowing something like this had happened and not responding at all. "Don't worry, Rupert," Connor said in his most consoling tone, "my parents will look after both of us. I'm sure my dad will go and talk to your dad as soon as they know anything."

Rupert didn't look at Connor, but Connor could see tears beginning to swim in Rupert's eyes. Rupert sniffed and nodded, obviously fighting to maintain his composure. Connor looked back at Madam Cosgrove.

"There is still fifteen hours until the moon begins to become full, and you will need to be moved to a more secure location," Madam Cosgrove said.

The matron didn't have a chance to continue before the sounds of the infirmary door swinging open interrupted her, and Harry, Ginny, and Professor McGonagall came into the room, making it rather crowded. Connor felt comforted by the presence of his parents, and leaned back into his mother when she put her arms around him from behind. Harry stood behind the seated boys, and put a hand on each of their shoulders.

"My parents didn't come?" Rupert asked quietly, looking down at his hands.

"You parents couldn't come," Professor McGonagall answered gently. "Muggles can't even see the castle, Rupert."

Rupert seemed to accept this answer, but Connor couldn't help thinking that it sounded a little hollow, as far as excuses went. He was sure that the adults could have found some way for the Dursleys to come to see Rupert if it was really necessary, but they either weren't being given the opportunity to try, or they didn't want it.

"I was just about to explain everything that the boys can expect over the next few hours," Madam Cosgrove said kindly.

Professor McGonagall nodded, and used her wand to conjure three comfortable chairs for Harry, Ginny and herself. They all seated themselves in a row behind the boys, and listened attentively.

"Professor Snape has developed a series of potions that Rupert and Connor will take to prepare them for the sedative potion that will, hopefully, keep them unconscious and unaware of anything and everything that takes place during the period of the full moon," Madam Cosgrove said.

Professor Snape came forward with the two metal cups that he had measured out minutes ago and presented one to each of the boys. Connor took his wordlessly and sniffed it, to see if he could detect any of the ingredients.

"This isn't a Potions lesson, Mr Potter," Professor Snape said mildly. "Drink up."

Connor looked at Rupert, who was staring into his cup with trepidation, and shrugged philosophically. Professor Snape would hardly poison them at this point. He tossed the potion as far to the back of his throat as possible before swallowing, and then screwed his eyes tightly closed as the sour taste registered. She shivered uncontrollably for a moment and then cleared his throat loudly.

"Are we allowed water?" he asked once he felt capable of speech.

Professor Snape smirked and poured a glass from a ewer, handing it over silently.

"Severus, really," Madam Cosgrove said in exasperation. She quickly poured another glass for Rupert, and set it before him while Connor gratefully quaffed his water down.

Rupert watched Connor, and then took a deep breath and drank his potion. He snatched up the water immediately after, and emptied the glass in four long swallows. His eyes were watering when he finished.

"What will that one do?" Connor asked as his mother rubbed his shoulders comfortingly from behind.

"Think of it as a primer," Professor Snape said calmly, with only the slightest trace of amusement in his expression. "The amount of sedative needed to keep you from being conscious of your situation tonight is potentially dangerous--especially if you are not infected with Lycanthropy. This first potion is one of many that you will take to prepare your body for large amounts of sedatives to flood it. Without the preparation, you could very well go into shock and die."

"Well that's blunt," Harry said through gritted teeth.

Connor looked over his shoulder at his father to see that he looked tense and terribly alert. His jaw was clenched, and his hair was messier than usual, as if he had raked his fingers through it repeatedly. His mum had a placating hand on his arm, but she looked very tired and drawn, as well.

"I don't see the point in sugar-coating the truth," Professor Snape sneered. "Knowing the truth will, hopefully, keep either of these boys from refusing any of these potions or taking their situation lightly." He was looking at Rupert as he spoke, but Rupert would not look up from his hands in his lap.

"The potions may have certain side-effects, such as dizziness or drowsiness. They may become emotional to either extreme. We would like them to remain in the hospital wing for the remainder of the day, so that they can be monitored and observed." Madam Cosgrove explained.

"We're not going anywhere," Ginny said firmly. "Do the boys need to be in bed?"

"I have some hospital robes here for them," Madam Cosgrove said, setting one on her desk in front of each boy, "and we've got an area already charmed for privacy waiting. They may study, or play quiet games or do whatever they'd like as long they remain in the closed-off area and stay calm. The closer we get to moonrise, the more we'll have to do and to discuss."

Ginny, Harry and Professor McGonagall got to their feet.

"I'll be in to check on you all throughout the day," Professor McGonagall said in her usual brisk manner, but Connor couldn't helps but notice that she was wringing her hands as she said it. "I am at your disposal at any time if you should need me."

"I have a class to attend to," Professor Snape said brusquely. "I shall return with the second potion in two hours."

He left without another word, the heels of his boots sounding unnaturally loud on the stone floor as he exited the hospital wing.

Connor stood and picked up the hospital robes, and wondered if the possible transformation later was the reason he wasn't being given the customary pyjamas he'd become used to wearing for long stays in the infirmary. He tried to dismiss that cheerful thought as he excused himself to change in the loo. When he emerged, his mother was waiting to take him to the charmed area, while his dad waited for Rupert to take his turn in the loo.

It was a pleasant surprise to find a dressing gown at the end of each bed, one of which Connor donned immediately. There was also a stack of games, some magazines, and a small table with chairs in the area, along with two beds. Set off to one side of the room was a low table and two arm chairs, a basket of biscuits, fruit and other snacks, along with a pitcher of pumpkin juice for their convenience. It was actually quite cosy, for the hospital wing.

"Do you feel like resting now, honey?" Ginny asked Connor as he tied the sash on the dressing gown. "You look really tired."

"So do you," Connor said as she put an arm around him. He rested his head against her shoulder, and wondered when he had gotten to be taller than her. "You could lie down, if you want."

"I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you," she smiled warmly at him, "not the other way around."

"I don't think I could sleep right now," Connor said, even though he followed that statement with a yawn that made her chuckle. "I just want to sit, I think. Maybe a game of chess?"

"You should probably wait for your father for that," Ginny said. "I'm never much of a challenge."

"Wait for me for what?" Harry asked as he accompanied Rupert in and closed the curtains.

"A game of chess," Ginny told him, drawing her wand to check that the Privacy Charms were sufficiently in place. "Connor says he's not ready to sleep."

"Sure, I'll play," Harry said, pulling out a chair at the table and sitting in it.

"Rupert, is there anything in particular you'd like to do?" Ginny asked kindly.

"No, thank you," Rupert answered, shrugging into his own dressing gown and lying down on one of the beds. "I think I'll just rest."

"We'll try to be quiet, then. Let us know if you need anything." Ginny said, going to draw a blanket up over him and mother him a bit.

Connor took a battered chess set from the stack of games and sat across from his father. He set up the board and sighed heavily. "It's going to be a long day."

--------0--------

Two hours later, Snape returned to the hospital wing with another potion for Connor and Rupert to take. This one was colourless, and smelled strongly of vanilla. Rupert was shaken gently awake by Harry, who helped him to take the potion, and then let him go straight back to sleep.

Connor downed the potion, wondering how it could smell like vanilla but taste like mould. "Disgusting," he said, making a face as he chased it down with pumpkin juice.

Snape merely sneered and made some notes on a parchment he carried on a clipboard. "How are you feeling?" he asked Connor, "Any side effects from the first potion?"

"Not really," Connor answered. "I don't know if it's the potion, of if it's just that I have a lot on my mind, but I'm really tired, but don't want to sleep at all."

"It could be the potion," Snape said, making a note. "The one you just took may give you some relief on that score. It should make you drowsy."

Connor nodded and allowed his mother to shoo him into bed, as though she expected him to fall asleep immediately. Professor Snape rolled his eyes rudely at her behaviour, but said nothing about it.

"Rupert's been asleep pretty much since the first potion," Harry said to Snape, "though I think he was faking it at first. Poor kid's worrying himself to death."

"That poor kid brought this on himself," Snape said acidly. "It won't hurt him at all to worry about it."

"Professor Snape," Ginny said reprovingly. "He's barely twelve years old. He made some very foolish mistakes, but I don't think that even you believe anyone deserves this."

"I'll thank you not to tell me what I believe, Mrs Potter," Snape said mildly. "I've gotten to know Mr Dursley quite well over the past month, and have a very firm understanding of what he deserves or not." He made another notation on a second sheet of parchment, and looked up at Harry. "No doubt depression is playing a part in his conduct, but the potion and recent lack of decent sleep are probably equally to blame. Unless he exhibits dangerous symptoms such as seizures, vomiting, hysteria or things of that nature, you have little to worry about. For now."

"Thank you, Professor," Connor said as Snape was leaving.

Snape stopped for a moment and inclined his head in acknowledgement before saying, "I'll be back in one hour."

-------0-------

Over the next several hours, Professor Snape, Madam Cosgrove, Professor Lupin and Professor McGonagall all paid frequent visits between classes to check on the 'patients'.

Connor was told that his friends were led to believe that he'd picked up a virus and was contagious for at least the next twenty-four hours, so they were not allowed to see him. He hated that he seemed to constantly be lying to his friends, by omission or otherwise, but knew that there was little that could be done about it at this point.

Professor Snape brought a different potion each time he came to see them. One of them had made Connor burst into laughter at odd moments and sing cheerfully to his parents. One had made him feel what he believed it must feel like to have a hangover. Two of them had to be taken with food, and Connor and Rupert forced themselves to eat bread and soup twice that afternoon, even though neither of them was hungry.

Rupert didn't speak much to anyone unless asked a direct question, and his answers were stilted and monosyllable.

It was late afternoon when Connor finally fell into an exhausted, worried sleep.

He didn't wake until he felt a firm hand on his shoulder shaking him. He looked up to see his father looking down at him with a fierce bravado. "It's time to wake up, son."

"Wha'time izzit?" Connor asked sleepily, rubbing at his eyes and feeling very sluggish and stupid.

"It's time to go to Remus's house," Harry said soothingly. "It's less than two hours until moonrise."

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