The Staff Room

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The Staff Room

Chapter 6:

A Sunday Afternoon

The atmosphere in the Staff Room was one of calm and serenity. The large clock ticked faintly every second, and the only other sounds were the occasional rustlings of the newspaper Phillip was reading, and the regulated periodic flick of the page in Severus´ book. Edith sat in a rocking chair in the corner, silently embroidering a circle of white linen.

They all sat, aware of each other's presence but simultaneously thinking they were alone in the large room. All three of them flitted their eyes at the other two at intervals, and when they realised nothing was amiss, continued their activity quietly. This often was the case on Sunday afternoons- especially Sunday afternoons when there had been a house Quidditch match the previous day. Gryffindor had played Hufflepuff, and, extraordinarily, had lost. This was, of course, accounted for by the arrival of the mass of Dementors, and Albus had been, naturally, furious, but it did not stop Severus and Edith from going into wild transports of ill disguised glee. Minerva had taken the Weasley Twins to London after the Match, and would be returning later that evening, no doubt to a barrage of remarks from Severus and Edith that only the two victors would find remotely amusing.

The quiet, pacific serenity of the room was disturbed, however, when the door flew open.

Cindy Sinistra, in robes of bright turquoise, and carrying a bag of sweets from Honeydukes.

`Hi everyone!´ she greeted them, more of a shout than anything else.

The other three gave her looks of a most patronizing nature.

`Anyone want a sweet?´ she barked.

`No, thank you,´ said Edith, glancing up from her embroidery. The stitching around the Cromulous Wello was beginning to take shape.

`How about you, Phillip? Do you want a sweet?´

`No, thanks,´ he said, before returning to his article on the recent blunders by the Ministry on the case of Sirius Black, by none other than Rita Skeeter.

`Want a sweetie, Severus?´ she asked the Potions master. He looked up from his thick book on Lawtell´s Potion and gave her a long look of quiet loathing.

`No,´ he said flatly, his mouth forming a perfect circle.

`Sure?´ she said, smiling moronically.

`Quite,´ he said.

`I've got Bertie Botts, Rainbow Drops, Fizzing Whizz bees, Pepper Imps, Sugar Quills, Lemon Ice Drops... Sure none of you want one?´

None of them responded at all.

`Oh, look; I've got a cockroach cluster here! Who wants that? How about you Severus, eh?´

He waved her away with a casual motion of his hand, without looking up.

`Phillip? How about you?´

`No thanks.´

`Edith, ...´

`No, Cindy,´ she said, rather sharply.

`Okay, then!´ said the Astronomy Professor brightly. `I´ll have it myself, then! Lucky me!´ She popped it in her mouth, and crunched down on it. `Mmmm!´ she said loudly, and continued munching, very audibly, on the sweet, much to the annoyance of the rooms other inhabitants. `Look at me, munching away on this sweet!´ she said, as if she were shocked to find herself eating it. `I need to watch my weight! I cant´ go around eating sweets all day!´ Her voice carried throughout the entire room.

`May I enquire,´ asked Severus, looking up, `why you purchased a huge bag of the things, then?´

`Oh, well, even us teachers are allowed our treats, you know!´ she said, winking at him like someone recently let loose from a mental institution.

She popped a jelly slug in her mouth, and chewed on that for a while.

`I wonder how Minerva´s getting on in London? With those Weasley Twins?´

She paused to consider this, and then, obviously grew bored of it.

`Did I tell you my second cousin Gladys got a new porcupine?´ she asked them. Edith Sprout began massaging the bridge of her nose. `Minky, his name is.... Or is it Blinky. Maybe Twinky... or even Dinky.´ She sat back, trying to remember, tapping her long claw like fingernails on the table beside her. Sitting up suddenly, it was apparent the name of the rabbit had revealed itself to her.

`Fitzwallace! She called it Fitzwallace.´ Severus gave her a look of complete disgust. `Oh, he´s a sweetie, is Fitzwallace. Big floppy ginger ears and lots of cuddly fur.´

`Porcupine´s don´t have fur or floppy ears,´ said Phillip.

`Oh, I know, she tried to transfigure him into a rabbit. But she never really managed it, and he looks more like a porcupine than a rabbit, now, anyway. She´s trying to breed it with her dog, Dimshit.´

`Your sister had a dog named Dimshit?´ asked Edith incredulously.

`Oh, yes, and a rabbit named Fitzwallace. Well, he´s more of a porcupine than a rabbit, really.´

`So you said.´ Severus was not in the mood for Porcupine cum Rabbit stories.

`She´s got a lovely set of silk white robes,´ said Cindy, gazing wistfully out the window.

`The dog?´ asked Edith.

`Oh, no, don´t be silly,´ said Cindy, `Annabelle has the robes. Oh, they´re divine, Edith. She wore them to our family reunion last summer. She wore a lovely white fur cloak with gold fastenings, even although it was summer, and lots of golden necklaces and rings. Her husband, Calvin, is a lawyer for the Minister, and Annabelle told me he´s got it loaded. Knee deep in dosh, apparently. That´s partly the reason she married him, I suspect. Isn´t that a nice plant? What´s it called, Edith? It´s lovely.´ She pointed to a red flowered plant in a glass vase in the centre of the table beside her.

`That,´ said Edith testily, `is a rose.´

`Fancy that!´ said Cindy. `Do you have any roses in the green houses, Edith? I´d love one in my bed room. It would fit in perfectly with the decorating scheme. The walls are red, too, and the bed sheets are red and black zebra stripes. Do you have any of them, Edith?´

`Not in the green houses, no, but there are plenty in the grounds.´

`Oh, do they come from round here, then?´

`Yes, they´re indigenous.´

`Indidigenius, are they. Well, there you have it. I´ll go down and pick some myself later.´

Cindy puckered her lips and twiddled her fingers, sitting idly. Her foot was bobbing along to a tune in her head.

`Anyone want a sweet?´ she offered. It had been less than three minutes since she offered them round last.

`NO!´ they all said back in unison.

`Okey doke, then,´ she said. `If you´re sure.´

She clattered her nails across the highly polished table before standing up and taking a deep breath.

`I´ll be in my room if anybody wants me,´ she announced. `See you all at dinner!!!´

She headed for the staircase, singing.

`Country roads! Take me home! To the place, where I belong! West Virginia! Mountain Mama!´

`Sweet Jesus,´ muttered Severus. Edith chuckled a little.

`She´s not a bad person,´ she said quietly, so as Cindy wouldn´t overhear. `Just...´ she struggled to find the words.

`Impossibly irritating?´ Severus ventured, finishing Edith´s sentence for her. `My sentiments precisely.´

The three went back to their activities, before the door opened once again, and Remus Lupin walked through. He looked, Edith surmised, much more tired than usual, and more haggard, more stressed out. He was carrying his usual battered briefcase, and armful of parchment scrolls.

`Uh!´ he breathed out, dropping the parchment on the highly polished table with the rose in the centre that Cindy had been sitting at. It was an eighteenth century table that Armando Dippet had installed. Seated around it were four Georgian dining chairs. Edith only knew this because she had recently finished reading "The Staff Room", a description of the room given to all the teachers when they joined the faculty. It had taken Edith twenty one years to finish.

`Lupin,´ said Severus, the poison in his voice clear. `You´re looking tired.´

`How nice of you to notice, Severus,´ said Remus brightly. Remus Lupin was one of the few people to realise that the only effective way to irritate Severus Snape or provoke him in any way was, paradoxically, to treat his acerbic cruelty with chirpy, cheery comments. By showing Severus the correct respect for his position, Lupin drove the Potions Master near to madness. Severus would have liked nothing better than for Remus to challenge him, and then he could tear the werewolf to pieces. No one grasped the irony of this more than Remus Lupin.

`I´ve been up all night with the Head master,´ he said, smoothing his hair and sitting down. Severus looked up sharply from his book. `Albus has gone ballistic with the Ministry after the dementors entered the grounds yesterday. He got back from a short meeting with the Minister a few hours ago. I´ve never seen him this angry. Especially after Potter was the one who suffered the most injuries.´

`How is Potter?´ inquired Edith.

`Poppy discharged him this morning, but Albus has asked her to keep an eye out for him.´

`Poor Severus has been beside himself with worry,´ said Phillip sarcastically.

`Wouldn´t it be deliciously ironic,´ said Severus with relish, `if Potter had died yesterday.´

`Severus!´ said Edith, outraged. Phillip looked at him furiously.

`You have no decorum, have you?´ asked the tiny professor heatedly.

`I´m just being realistic,´ said Severus, shrugging his shoulders. `It´s perfectly possible Black will get him eventually. More than possible- I´d say it´s very likely- just a matter of time.´

Phillip was beside himself. `How dare you! Take that back. Everyone within this building and beyond, and I remind you that within these walls are the finest minds in the Wizarding world, are trying to keep Potter safe! I hardly think Sirius Black will get the better of Albus Dumbledore!´

`I am not saying that Sirius Black has the slightest hope of defeating any of those trying to protect Potter, except Weasley and Granger, I am rather saying that Potter will outwit us and foil our attempts to protect him.´

Edith and Phillip nearly exploded at the cool nerve of their colleague, but Remus Lupin sat placidly in his seat, a mild expression of interest on his face.

`Just what do you mean by that!´ cried Phillip, leaping from his seat. `Are you suggesting that Potter is in league with Black? Are you out of your mind?´

`Phillip sit down,´ said Severus patronizingly. `You know what Potter is like. He´ll go off and try to find Black, or something else of equally colossal stupidity, and Black will kill him stone dead in a second. You´re forgetting Black used to know Potter´s father, who was equally high minded and filled with ridiculous bravado. Black simply has to lay the bait and Potter will swallow it like the perpetually foolish boy his father was.´

`That´s very pessimistic of you, Severus,´ said Remus, frowning ever so slightly.

`I´m just being realistic. Every one else is so naïve they can´t see past Potter´s projection of himself as the god-like hero. His father was exactly the same.´

`I´m not sure I agree completely with your characterisation of either of them, Severus,´ said Remus. For a wild moment, Severus thought that the werewolf might actually bring himself to argue with Severus. `But you are entitled to your own opinion. It´s better that there are differing views and opinions, so we can reach a balanced conclusion. Wouldn´t you agree?´ He gave his former fellow pupil a small smile.

`Mmm,´ murmured Severus in agreement, through clenched teeth. The Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher opened his briefcase and began piling papers in untidy piles all over the table.

`Do you know that table was used by the staff to serve Christmas breakfast in 1958 when all but three left to spend Christmas elsewhere. Only two students remained that year- a brother and sister, muggles, who had been orphaned when their parents died in war, leaving them with no relatives or guardians at all, but a country estate and several million pounds in offshore investments and bank accounts.´

Severus looked at her as if she had gone mad. What on earth, he wondered, was the purpose of that information?

`Really?´ said Lupin. `Well there you go. I never knew that.´

Severus cleared his throat and stood up.

`Where are you off too, Severus?´ asked Lupin in a friendly tone.

`I have to speak with the Head master,´ Snape spat back. `Is that all right?´

`Certainly,´ said Lupin. Whether he had missed the sarcasm or ignore it, Severus could only guess. `Have a good time.´

Severus swept out of the room, leaving Edith to tell Lupin about how the blue and green rug had been a gift from Beauxbatons Academy.

***

Severus Snape swept along the hallways of Hogwarts in the direction of the Headmaster´s Office, an expression on his face that would have struck terror into the heart of even the most self assured, prefectorial seventh year. He was thinking furiously about what to say to the headmaster. He really wanted to ask him why he had chosen Lupin to help him work out how to deal with the Ministry about dementors.

`Sugar Plum Fairy,´ he spat at the gargoyle, which sprang to life and jumped aside. Snape strode through, his cloak flying out behind him as he climbed the stairs.

`Afternoon, Headmaster,´ he said sharply, as he barged into his office. Normally he would have knocked, but he wanted Dumbledore to know that he was annoyed.

`Good afternoon, Severus,´ said the old wizard pleasantly, looking up from his manuscript. `How are we this morning?´

`Where is my shipment of Lungfish Bone?´ he barked. `I asked for it to be in my office yesterday. I need that for my second year assessment. Where is it?´ Severus knew this was a stupid thing to appear worked up about, but he still looked daggers at his employer.

`I received an owl from the Potions Supplier last night. It should arrive at eleven o´clock tonight. Is that enough time for you to set up for tomorrow´s lesson?´

`It should do,´ he said grudgingly.

`Would you like a cup of tea?´ asked the Headmaster cheerfully.

`No,´ snapped Severus.

`Okay doke,´ said the Headmaster, not put off at all by his employee and friend´s brusque manner. `I received an owl from Minerva about half an hour ago. All´s well in London, I gather, apart from her mental health.´

`That was always touch and go,´ said the Potions master.

Dumbledore chuckled. `Poor Minerva. I rather feel sorry for her.´

`It´ll give us some good stories to discuss in the staff room,´ said Severus cruelly, ignoring, as always, what people might be going through and focusing on whatever end products there might be.

`What happened with the Ministry with regard to the dementors at yesterday´s Quidditch Match?´ asked Severus, turning to the Headmaster.

Dumbledore looked up and looked Severus square in the eye.

`Remus helped me to negotiate with the Minister. They will not re enter the grounds.´

`Why Remus?´ he tried to sound casual, but Dumbledore was more adept than anyone else at recognising the undercurrents in Severus´ tone.

`Because Minerva was away and Fudge hates you.´ His response was flat and unelaborated.

`Oh.´

`Will that be all, Severus, I have some work to get on with?´ The Headmaster was renowned for not tolerating petulance or jealousy among his staff.

`Goodbye, headmaster,´ said Severus, sweeping out of the office. As he hard the door snap shut, Albus sighed with resignment and turned back to his manuscript.

End of Chapter

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Chapter 7

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