The Great Merchandise Discovery

                             The Great Merchandise Discovery

    “I’m bored.”

    “Yeah, you’ve mentioned it,” sighed Harry, investigating the dirt under his thumb nail for what seemed like the hundredth time. Harry and Ron were staying at the Granger’s house for a week before the summer of their fifth year at Hogwarts began. Unfortunately, it seemed Hermione didn’t entertain a lot, and she had been reading for the best part of the three days the boys had been staying. Harry had no problem with this though, because it was a thousand times better than living with the Dursley’s. For Ron, there had been but one uplifting experience to Muggle life so for, and that was Mountain Dew. Mr. Granger had served he and Harry it their first night there, and Ron had quickly become addicted. He was now going through eight cans a day. All three of them were now lounging in Hermione’s room, and Ron had been complaining the entire time.

    “No, you don’t understand, I’m at the breaking point! I’ll go insane if we don’t get out of this house!” Ron yelped melodramatically.

    “Oh alright!” cried Hermione finally throwing down her copy of Hogwarts, A History. “I’ll go ask mum if she has anything we can do.”

    Hermione stormed out of the room, and returned 5 minutes later.

    “Come on, you two. We’re going to Toys R Us to get a birthday present of my little cousin, Susie.”

    “Where??” Harry and Ron questioned together.

    “ Honestly, don’t you know anything? It’s a Muggle toy store. I’ve actually never been to it. I never enjoyed toys when I was little... I liked books a lot better. But anyway, its just a few blocks from my house, so we can walk there.”

    “Ok, fine! Anything to get out of this room,” said Ron, leaping up and joining Hermione at the door. Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed.

    “Come on Harry, let’s go.”

    Ron was a little overexcited while walking to Toys R Us. Maybe it was the fact that he had been indoors for three days, or more possibly, it was the after effects of the four Mountain Dews he had gulped down early that morning.

    “Can’t you guys go any faster?!?!?”

    “Seriously Ron, what’s the hurry? And when did you become so interested in Muggle toy stores?” Hermione asked, annoyed.

    “Well I’ve been thinking,” Ron said, while kicking a McDonald’s coffee cup ten feet into the air, which ended up coming down on a passing car. “Muggles, they got pretty good taste. I mean, whoever invented that Mountain Dew stuff, they must of been a genius or something... Speaking of which, I’m really thirsty. Anyway their toys can’t be that bad, and if they are I can just make fun of them.”

    Harry couldn’t help but laugh. It had been just over an hour since Ron’s last Mountain Dew. Harry had no idea how he was going to survive the year at Hogwarts without the bubbly drink.

    “Finally! There it is!” cried Hermione, pointing to a big building across the street.

“YEA HAW!!!” shouted Ron, running right through traffic to reach it. Cars blared their horns and swerved to avoid hitting him.

    “The idiot!” muttered Hermione.

She and Harry then followed Ron across the street.

    “He must’ve gone inside already,” said Harry, looking around. “Come on.”

    Hermione and Harry entered Toys’ R Us and immediately saw Ron. He was staring at a display with wide eyes.

    “Bloody hell, Harry...” he whispered.

    Only then did Harry get a chance to look at what had Ron entranced. It was a huge cardboard castle, resembling Hogwarts. Over it in bright green letters was his name, Harry Potter.

Under his name it said in smaller letters “Harry Potter Merchandise Outlet.” Behind the display was at least two isles of toys, all in packaging labeled “Harry Potter.”

    “No way...” muttered Hermione”

    Harry was speechless.

    “But... No... How... I...”

    “This has got to be a joke.”

    “Hermione?” asked Harry, turning slowly around to look at her.

    “Yeah?”

    “Did you let Rita Rita Skeeter go?”

    “Oh, of course not!” She stated blankly and patted her book bag protectively. “Harry, do you think anyone told about you, or... how the hell could this happen?”

    “I dunno... You tell me...”

    “I GOT AN IDEA!” Ron shouted, finally coming out of his daze.

    “What”

    “Lets look at the stuff!!” he said, a little too eagerly.

    Since none of them had a better plan, they started walking down the nearest isle. The first item they came to were the action figures.

    “ WICKED!” Ron shouted again. “Look, its me!!!”

Ron plucked a package off the shelf and tore it open, ignoring Hermione’s hissing reprimends.

He quickly kneeled down on the floor and examined the mini Ron.

    “Weeeeeee!!!!!!! Look I’m flying!!” he shouted picking up the cheap toy and waving it around.

Meanwhile Harry stared, amazed at the little figure of himself. “Flying Quiddich Harry.” And then there was another one, “ Spell Casting Harry.” And then “Harry and Hedwig.”

    Hermione was also staring, amazed at the plastic figure of herself. “I look so... so.... beautiful!” she cried.

    Soon all three of them were tearing open packages and actually playing with the toys.

“Ha Ha Ha! You die Voldemort!!!” Harry laughed manically, banging the Voldemort figurine against the tile floor. “See?!? See?!? I’m killing you now! Little boy, am I?!? eh?!?”

    Ron was also having his own fun. “Uh oh, Draco, look! Here comes Fluffy!!” Ron made the huge three headed animal step all over the Draco until the little toy’s head popped off. “Oh no! You better go ask daddy for help! Looks like your gonna need some new robes too!”

    Hermione, however, was simply sitting on the floor quietly with two action figures in each hand. In her right was Ron, and in her left was herself. “Mhua” She whispered to herself, making the figures bump heads in a kissing motion. “I love you Hermione! I love you Ron!” She sang softly.

    After thirty minutes of playing with the action figures, they moved on to the next section of toys.

    “Snape’s Potion Set?” Harry asked quizzically. “What is the world coming to?”

The three ripped open the little kit, but soon got bored after, of course, wacking the Snape figure a few times on the shelf.

    They next came to the games. “Harry Potter Trivia,” Ron read aloud. “Well, I don’t think we need to do that....”

    They searched, dumbfounded, through shelves containing Harry Potter Uno Card Game, Harry Potter Trading Cards, Harry Potter Levitating Challenge, Escape the Womping Willow Game, and Harry Potter Quiddich Card Game.

    “Wait!” said Ron. “This Levitating Game, it says the ball actually floats... But Muggles can’t use magic!”

    Hermione glanced at it and sighed. “Its blowing air, Ron. The pressure allows it to float. It runs on batteries.”

    “Oh yeah I forgot about that, ekeltricity...”

    “Oh Looky!” squealed Hermione, pointing to a green package. “You get to slime Malfoy! See here, it says Harry and Draco Duel Game!”

    “Cool!” cried Ron picking it up, “Ha ha ha, all this green junk comes down on Malfoy. Serves the little ferret right.”

    They then came to the adventure play sets. “They call that a basilisk?” Harry scoffed down at the Chamber of Secrets set, “Oh, give me a break...”

    “ That does not even resemble Aaragog,” Ron looked with disgust at the set, “ I was not scared of anything like that... It was at least, uh, thirty times bigger.”

    “Sure...” mumbled Hermione under her breath.

    Next they examined the Lego sets.

    “This is just getting too weird.” shuddered Hermione, watching the boys build the Hogwarts Express, than crash it into the wall.

    Suddenly a store manager came sliding across the floor, down the isle.

“ WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?” he roared scanning the mess.

“GET OUT OF MY STORE THIS INSTANT!!”

Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn’t need telling twice.

    Finally outside, the three just stared at each other. Then, standing there, they made a pact to never ever mention to anyone what they had witnessed in Toys R Us.

    “Lets just go home,” said Hermione. “ My mum will have to get Susie a present somewhere else.”

    “Yeah, lets.” agreed Harry.

    “LOOK!!” screamed Rom, suddenly.

“What?!?” Harry, demanded, startled.

    “A SODA MACHINE!!!!!! AND THEY HAVE MOUNTAIN DEW!!!!!!!”