Hermione, My Love

Yet again, Hermione was in the library, researching her Arithmancy assignment for Professor Vector. Harry sighed with a mix of relief and exasperation. On one hand, it was comforting to know that some things would never change, at least insofar as Hermione was concerned. The world could go to Hell in a handbasket, and that girl wouldn't care, as long as she had her books. Then again, Harry mused, it would be nice to see her branch out a bit in her interests. The world was more than just about books. He knew as much.

And so there he stood, watching her from the Restricted Section, hidden under his tried-and-true Invisibility Cloak. He finally managed to snatch it back from Ron, who'd been using it for arguably carnal ends all over the school. Harry sighed and looked down at his hands forlornly, only to remember that he couldn't see his hands. I have to just go through with this, he thought. I have chosen Hermione and I will have her for my girlfriend. I am a Gryffindor. I am brave. I won't be scared. I will go forward and reveal myself. I will stop talking to myself...

He hadn't known for a long time how he really felt for Hermione. He had had a silly crush on Cho Chang, but she was older than him and still smarting from losing Cedric. She bounced back fairly quickly during her 7th year and married right after graduation. Harry barely had a chance to say hi. He remembered, with sadness, the age-old crush Ginny Weasley had carried for him. But she got over it in a big way when his fifth year rolled around. Her distant idolatry was shattered by her discovery of how emotionally distant he was once they began dating. Maybe I turned her into a lesbian, Harry thought dismally. But at least she's probably happier now. She had left him very suddenly over summer break and began openly dating Lavender during his sixth year.

Hermione's the only girl who has ever accepted me as I am, he decided. To her I'm not an icon, an idol, or the Boy Who Lived. No, to her I am just Harry Potter, her friend. And maybe more, if I can work up the nerve. He remembered the kiss she'd given him on Platform 9 and 3/4 way back at the end of fourth year. Maybe there was something in it that he was too blindsided to see. There was only one way to find out. Steeling himself, he slowly made his way toward the bushy haired girl aborbed in a thick tome.

Ron's POV:

There she is, good old Hermione. Sitting with a book in her face, just like always. Hair still a bushy mess, but her body has certainly...arrived. Ron smacked his lips, a charming smile flitted momentarily across his face. He had come out in a big way, going from the Boy Who Lived's best buddy to being a total playa around school. Bill had always been his favorite older brother, so it made sense that he would follow in his footsteps.

And to his credit, he had bagged more chicks than he cared to remember. He pleasantly recalled making up for his crude behavior during the Yule Ball to Padma Patil. He had tried the relationship route with her but found himself restless and bored. There was no tension, no excitement. He'd hurt her when he ended things, but at least she never found out about that swinging time he'd had with her Gryffindor twin in the Astronomy Tower. He'd segued that into a private rendeszvous with an equally promiscuous Lavender--until Ginny stole her away. Yes, Ron decided judiciously, he had learned how to woo women, even the lesbians.

But never Hermione. No, never Hermione. She was always his friend. She held the cherished, sainted position in his life. She saw through his cool-jerk facade. And she still liked him. That was the amazing thing. She despised his love-em, leave-em attitude but she still liked him. Ron was eternally grateful. But it was to his great consternation that she didn't see why he was this way. No, she failed to see that all this time Ron was conquering the female population of Hogwarts it was only his warped attempt at conquering her indomitable will. It was always you, Hermione. Always you. I couldn't have you, so I tried to replace you. But no one could never live up to my standards of you. Now I'm tired of denying the obvious. He flipped through the catalogue of false, meaningless trysts and found nothing worthwhile. I want to settle down with the only woman who has ever conquered my heart, with the only person who has made life exciting. The arguments, the jealousies, the obvious attraction kept at bay for so long. But not any longer. Ron stepped forward from behind a shelf of books near the library entrance.

Draco's POV:

There she sits. Reading a book. A goddamn book. Does she EVER do anything else? Draco's inner voice drawled this last line. She should've finished the entire library by now, including the Restricted Section. He smirked at a memory of his sixth year when he stole an illicit kiss from her--she'd caught him sneaking a peek at the Kama Sutra (with animated illustrations, 6th edition). It was really for him to try out with Pansy, his girlfriend since, like, forever. But she'd caught him, Miss Perfect Prefect at the time, and he decided to shut her up. Who knew it would develop into something more?

Admittedly, not much more. Hermione was always more enthralled with her books than with her men. Her coollness toward him for several weeks afterwards--she didn't report him lest the story get out of his seduction--enticed him horribly, much as he hated to admit it. He found himself drawn into her orbit, his ceaseless flirtations becoming more apparent with each incident. Hermione gave him a trademark smile, small and knowing, but never responded. Except once or twice, yet with such ambivalence he could never be sure if she felt the same way or if she was simply making an innocent gesture. There was no telling with her. She was like a dominatrix; she controlled everything. Never gave an inch. It infuriated Draco, and yet he ached for more. He would rather have her derision than nothing at all. So he continued his strange obsession with her, finding himself less and less interested with the always compliant Pansy, even less entranced with his secret affair with Ginny Weasley. She seemed to enjoy his company about as much as he did, so he never felt cheated or as though he were cheating her. That he was cheating on Pansy never occurred to him.

This, however, could develop into something more. It would mean the end of his world, for his father would never, ever accept a Mudblood into the family. But Draco no longer cared. He was out of his mind with...what? Lust? Love? He didn't know, except that he knew he wanted her at any cost. Screw the world and the expectations laid at his feet as the last remaining Malfoy. To hell with his arranged engagement to Pansy. He would sooner give it all for one true sign of her affection. Life seemed so much more exciting when he didn't know where things were going. So he took one uncertain step forward toward the table where Hermione sat with her books and parchments fanned out all around her.

Snape's POV:

Lingering in the doorway, he stood with his arms folded across his chest. He snarled as he watched three boys corner Hermione from all sides. He curiously raised an eyebrow, wanting to know what in the hell was going on. But at the same time he was lax to approach the group of young men. He noticed that she was completely unaware of the approaching men, who were suddenly noticing eachother and eyeing eachother nervously. They each shifted in their spots and eyed Hermione like buzzards surrounding their prey. Snape longed to whisk her away from them to his safe, dungeon haven.

It'd been a fantasy of his for quite some time now. He longed to save her from the fumbling idiocy of Potter, the disease-ridden dick of Weasley, the calculated manipulations of Malfoy. Only he, Professor Snape, felt he could settle the burgeoning beast of womanhood within her. He knew there had to be a woman somewhere in that bushy head of hair and somewhat frumpy uniform which expertly hid her blossoming curves. She wasn't like the other girls who would surrepticiously raise their skirts just a little higher every day or stuff their bras with socks in order to entice the boys in their classes. What they never reckoned was that they might entice their professors!

And though Hermione never once attempted to gain the affections of any man, she'd quite accidentally won the heart of the elusive Potions professor. However, he could not bring himself to approach the fair young lady who was oblivious to her suitors. Deep down, Snape knew--with his consistent pessimism--that he could never have her. He, after all, was a respected professor, and she...well, she was one of his own pupils! He could lose his post! But the thrill of possibly getting caught in a compromising position with his best student? Ah, yet another unrequited fantasy. Still, he wondered if perhaps she was more mature than her peers, and perhaps she could, with some persuasion, see past his cold mannerisms to the loyal heart that beat within him. He was a rebel with the ultimate scar of past sins--surely that would attract her? Hardly, he figured again, she barely registers me on her radar. Ultimately, there was just no telling with Hermione Granger. She was as elusive to pinpoint as he. And that mystery attracted him to her more than anything else, save her obvious brilliance.

Hermione's POV:

Ah, another day in the Hogwarts library. And oh, do I relish it! Hermione took in the scent of the thick, dusty book before her (Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Damn Near Anything) and gave a small smile. Where else can I go for rest and relaxation...and a little entertainment? Such interesting books these shelves held, far more interesting than her parents' personal library at home. Just dentists my arse, she clucked her tongue. They were brilliant, Sunday scholars. She was proud to have inherited their thirst for knowledge.

And willingness to try new things. Alas, Hermione dramatically thought, I will miss Hogwarts. Graduation is fast approaching and when it does I will take the next step toward my ultimate destiny. Goodbye precious library, goodbye Gryffindor tower, goodbye Ear...

"What are all of you doing here?" Hermione suddenly noticed the three young men standing before her at odd angles. Harry, clutching his Invisibility Cloak; Ron, his face flushed with the same stifled anger she remembered was so apparent on his face when she had merely befriended Viktor Krum; and Draco, his arms crossed, a dubious look playing on his noble, aristocratic features. For a split second, Hermione's heart skipped a beat as she gave one long sweeping glance at the party gathered before her. She even noticed, with piqued curiosity, Professor Snape way back at the entrance to the library, overseeing the proceedings with his trademark sneer. Are they really all congregating for me?

Harry began. "Well, um, I just came to check on you because you weren't going about your, um, Head Girl duties. Um, yeah, that's it."

Hermione eyed him suspiciously. "Harry, you are an absolutely awful liar. I don't begin my duties for another hour. You, of all people, should know. I gave everyone a copy of my study/work/play schedule. Do you honestly think I would be SO uncharacteristically unorganized? Honestly, Harry."

Ron smirked at Harry, then turned on all of the charm he could muster as he faced the girl of his dreams. "Hermione, darling, I was hoping to speak to you privately. Would you please consider letting me escort you to dinner in the Great Hall?"

"Really, Ron, where else would dinner be? The greenhouse?" She gave an annoyed huff. All this trite conversation was taxing her patience. She only had 55 minutes to finish reading this most interesting chapter on the many uses of gillyweed. "You needn't charm me the way you do every other girl in this school." Hermione clucked her tongue. "Honestly, Ron. You needn't ask me to dinner; I'm nearly always available. All you have to do is sit down with me. But I suppose you're too busy gallavanting about to realize that."

Harry asked, "Hermione, is there something wrong? You seem rather upset."

Talk about stating the obvious! "Nonsense! Just mildly annoyed. I only have 54 minutes and 34 seconds to finish reading this chapter before I simply must get to a meeting with Professor McGonagall." All of the boys uneasily shifted in their places. Hermione sighed. "What do you all want? Out with it!"

Draco pulled up a chair and sat down to face Hermione. "I'm just going to say it. Hermione, I..."

"LOVE YOU!" Harry shouted, his fists clenched at his sides. There was a wild look in his eyes, shocked at his compulsion. Draco swiveled around to look at him in shock. Ron's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"No, you don't! I love her!" Draco snarled as he stood up. He sorely wanted to beat up that no good, meddling Potter. He is always budgering in on my territory and he always wins. Well, not this time!

"Bugger off, you dolts. She's MINE!" Ron started clambering onto the table. He automatically lunged at Draco, knocking him out of his seat and onto the floor. Harry ran over to the other side of the table where the two boys were exchanging fisticuffs on the floor. In his vain attempt to separate them, he got dragged into the brawl. Snape, for a moment, considered breaking up the fight, but desperately fought the urge to save his secret princess from the claws of wretched teenage impulsiveness.

Hermione was at a loss for words. There she was, complacently reading her books, when she was interrupted on what had seemed like a quite ordinary day by three guys FIGHTING over her. Who'd have expected it? And, to her utter horror, she had accosted her two best friends even as they were trying to profess their LOVE for her! She began chuckling to herself. The idea of the three most eligible men in the school fighting over me is completely laughable! And yet, so true. She slowly got up out of her seat, not really wanting this moment to end. Giving a long, tired sigh, she raised her wand and murmured, "Mobilicorpi!" All three boys instantly separated and lay frozen on the floor. "All right, guys, I'm going to undo the spell but you have to promise me you'll behave." After a moment, she laughed softly. "Silly me, you can't make a promise when your mouths are frozen, can you."

She murmured the counterspell and each boy stood up. She looked at each of them in turn and said, "Please sit down. I will explain to you why...I cannot return your affections." Each guy looked at her with shock as she retreated to her seat.

After everyone was seated (even Snape, who now sat near the door, riveted to the conversation), Hermione gave a small shudder of breath as she began. "I have already pledged my--how shall I say it?--my, er, love to something else. Something greater than myself or anyone in this room." She unconsiously fingered the spine of the book in front of her.

Ron looked aghast. "You're in love with a book!?"

Hermione gave an annoyed sigh. "HONESTLY, RON! A book?...yeesh, I LIKE books, I even LOVE reading some books over and over again. But I would NEVER pledge my love to a..." she began laughing then, tears forming in her eyes. After a minute she began to retain her original composure. "No matter how good the book is."

Harry grinned sheepishly back at her, trying not to ignore the seriousness of the situation with a chuckle of his own. "Okay, then to whom have you pledged your love?"

Hermione suddenly turned serious. She looked forward and stated in an austere tone of voice, "I have pledged my life to the Jedi Order. I am a Padawan, a Jedi knight in training."

Ron scratched his head. Draco furrowed his brows, confused as all get out. Snape's heart dropped to his feet. Harry alone seemed to grasp Hermione's predicament.

"I didn't know such a thing existed."

Hermione nodded. "Nor did I. But I was approached at a very young age. My parents, naturally, allowed me to train. Being as I am an earthling from the Outer Rim, I have not been restricted by the same rules and regulations of the other padawans who are natural citizens of the Republic. My training was broken up into sessions, and I got to come home after each one. Schooling to be a witch disrupted my Jedi training somewhat, but it was decided by the Jedi Council that it would be to my benefit to be fully trained in all of my capabilities. So when I leave here to come home for the summer, I actually travel to the planet of Corisant. Soon I will complete my training. Then, I will be inducted as a citizen of the Republic and given the right to take the trials necessary to become a full fledged Jedi Knight. Upon completion of the trials, I will leave this planet, possibly forever, to serve the Force." Silence permeated the room as she spoke this last line.

Ron turned to Harry and whispered, "Harry, I think she's gone nutters. Do you think we should restrain her?"

Harry looked at him, alarmed. It never occurred to him that she could be going off the deep end. "No, I think not. She might use the Force against us."

Draco overheard and muttered, "What in Merlin is the Force?"

Hermione heard this and suddenly stood up, brandishing a bright blue, glowing light saber. "Do not question my sanity, Ron, and don't even think of mocking me, Draco. I know how to use this thing!" She whipped it around a couple times.

Harry gasped. "Then it is true! There are other planets, and other inhabitants, and a fully formed intergalactic government?"

Hermione replied slowly. "Yes."

"And there is truly a Jedi Order?"

Hermione replied more quickly. "Yes, Harry. I just explained that."

"Yes, well..." He trailed off. "I always considered Star Wars an excellent American import...but...wow!"

Ron turned to Harry. "What is she on about?"

Draco turned to Hermione and raised his hand in truce. "Please, put that thing away." He looked pointedly at the light saber. Hermione obliged and stuck it in a pocket within the folds of her robes.

Hermione sighed. "The Jedis serve as protectors of the peace, representing the best interests of the Republic. They use what they call the Force to guide them, and, well, it is a thing much larger than any of us. As a future Jedi, I have pledged my life to the Force, and I must not have any attachments. That means no boyfriend. No lover. Ever." She looked downward, a single tear streaking her cheek. She wiped her face and struggled to maintain composure. "I'm sorry; I never thought I would ever have a love life. I naively believed I could very easily give up everything here on earth. I mean, I made the promise when I was just a child."

"Can't you undo it then? Please, Hermione, for us." Ron grabbed Hermione's hand impulsively, his eyes searching hers for a trace of affection.

"No, Ron, it can never be like that." She pulled her hand away and gave a tired shrug as she retorted, "Besides, what would you want with me? You could have--and probably have had--every girl in this school!"

"What did you expect me to do? Remain celibate while I basked in the glow of your annihilating contempt?" He suddenly covered his mouth, shocked at his words. (A/N: That was my absolute favorite line from the movie "The Tao of Steve." I couldn't resist including it here. The flick is a total must-rent!)

Hermione looked hurt. "I have never felt contempt for you, Ron! I've always loved you." She turned quickly to Harry, effectively avoiding Draco's steely eyes. "I've always loved you both."

Harry cried out, "And yet you never told any of us about this!"

"Of course not, Harry! I can't just go around telling everyone, 'hello! I'm a jedi!'"

Draco squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. "To think that I would've given up everything to be with you."

"Well, Draco, now you don't have to." Hermione busied herself by stuffing her things into her backpack on the floor. Absentmindedly, she continued to talk. "The prospect of traveling among the stars, while exciting, now fills me with some grief. But...I have sworn myself to the Order, made an unbreachable pact and I must keep it. I will keep it. I only hope all of you can understand." She stood up, holding a strap of her bag tightly as she surveyed the forlorn lot. She tried--hard--not to let her voice break. She felt a terrible weight had been suddenly placed above her heart. She wished they hadn't decided to tell her how they felt. She wished she could go back to being blissfully ignorant; then maybe the impending trials wouldn't seem so onimous. After all, there was suddenly a lot more at stake. "We can still be friends. I'd prefer it that way." No one responded. "I have to go now." She still had plenty of time before her meeting, but she rushed out of the room, fleeing the library, not noticing the hardened grimace on Professor Snape's face as she passed him.

Harry slowly got up, not sure whether he was sad or glad. It was all so final. Pondering his plight, he slowly made his way out of the library. A little ways down the hall, he bumped into Ginny. For an instant he wondered if perhaps this was meant to happen, sort of like a cosmic second chance--until she asked if he knew where Lavender was.

Ron, on the other hand, tried to act like nothing had happened. He got up and decided to find Susan Bones for a quickie in Filch's office. Little did he know she was helping Neville Longbottom discover more than just the caverns beneath Hogwarts. When Ron found them, he helped them.

Draco leaned back and squeezed his temples methodically. He wondered what to do: he had hoped Hermione would be the key to a whole new life. He still wasn't entirely sure what the Jedi Order was, but he figured that, whatever it was, it meant Hermione was beyond his grasp. The only consolation was that she was also beyond everyone else's. When his fiancee found him a few hours later, wondering what he was up to, he gave her a small shrug and told her he had merely been meditating on how to perfect the Vagrant Kiss (page 556, Kama Sutra, 6th Ed).