Love Grows

Love Grows

I don’t believe people fall in love.

The whole phrase makes it sounds like loving a person is very abrupt and almost accidental. The idea that you can one day wake up, go about your business the same as you do every day, but make a wrong turn or stumble and fall, only to meet a pair of eyes and fall in love. The phrase also implies that once you fall in love, everything will be all right, allowing you to spend the rest of your days in golden bliss with your love. It’s as if once you meet that pair of eyes, wedding bells start ringing and you’re already riding off into the sunset.

I don’t mean to say that I don’t believe in love at first sight or that love can hit you hard once you realize whom exactly you do love. I remember that it hit you especially hard, my dear. One moment you’re just sitting there, laughing with your friends. The next you’re just looking at me, like a blind man who can suddenly see, with the most indescribable look of astonishment in your eyes.

It was all I could do not to laugh out loud, at that expression on your face and in relief that you’ve finally saw what I’ve known for so long.

I still believe in love at first sight, though I most certainly didn’t fall in love with you when I first saw you (how could I, you were nothing like I thought!) and though I don’t believe people fall in love. I think that people can love each other as soon as they meet. But being in love comes later, it doesn’t start right away.

I don’t believe people are destined for their one, true love.

The idea of soulmates is romantic enough, I’ll readily admit.

That you are intrinsically tied to another person ever since the beginning of time and you’ll belong together forever more. It’s a comforting concept but it’s too much so. I can’t help but think it was all made up by some poor, lovelorn fool. What are the chances that you’ll meet your other half, who just happens to belong in the Wizarding world when most people don’t and who also happens to attend the same school as you? I know—the counter is that this is where fate lends a hand. Fate is not as mystical as some people try to make it. The simple truth of the matter is that we make our own fate. Every choice we make today affects what choices we’ll have tomorrow. Our future today is much more infinite than what it will be tomorrow. With a little bit of luck and a little bit of wisdom, we can work our way towards a happy ending. But that happy ending is not pre-ordained for anyone.

I believe people grow in love.

If you think about it, it makes sense. When people write about love, they speak of it hypothetically, as if trying to determine its nature, much as I am doing now. But when people in love speak about being in love, it’s a living thing. Much as when we speak about our love, we feel it around us, enveloping us in that wondrous warmth. It’s between us and links us, taking breath as we take breath. It’s the most amazing thing.

And like any living thing, it grows. I don’t know how long our love has been growing, but I suspect it’s has been awhile. Some loves grow up fast, like those that can spring up in one glance. Other loves, like ours, take longer to develop, germinating at first sight perhaps but needing an eternity of conversations, laughter, and adventures before finally becoming a sturdy sapling. It took forever for our love to grow up, but once it did, there was no way we could have gone on ignoring it, no way that we could have turned time back.

It’s living still and it’s growing still, but I’m sure you already knew that. You may have been the last one to know about it, but once you did, it didn’t take you very long to understand what we have. I just want to let you know I don’t regret a thing. I don’t know what will happen with the next day, the next month, the next year. Whatever happens, I’m just so thankful that I’ve been able to share this love with you.

I love you so much. Sometimes I can’t breathe when you’re with me. You look at me, with love illuminating your brilliant green eyes. We don't even need to touch, my mind stops, I forget to breathe, but that’s all right because you’re all and everything I need.

I love you.