Keeping Emma

Chapter 19: Shaken, not Stirred

Emma awoke the next Saturday morning and went to the window. It must have snowed overnight; there was at least two inches of fresh snow on the ground. The sky had cleared and the morning sun shone brightly, if coldly, in the icy blue sky, turning the grounds into a field of sparkling diamonds. Emma went to the bathroom and then returned to bed, wondering when Severus would be coming back to her. She regretted letting him leave the previous Sunday while she was still angry. When he had come into the bedroom that night, she had turned away from him. Then, when she'd awakened the next morning, she had found that he had already gone back to Hogwarts.

Earlier in the week, Michael had asked her to bring him a book from his desk in the library. She couldn't help but notice the file he had left on top of the desk. It had Severus' name on it. She'd brought Michael his book and then, later, she had sneaked back into the library to read the file. She had seen reports from the Muggle police about his parents. His father had been arrested several times for beating his mother and for public drunkenness. There was a news article about his father's death in the factory where he had worked and the Daily Prophet listing of his mother's death. There were several scrolls of parchment. They were the transcripts of the Death Eaters' trials. One Death Eater after another had testified that Severus had been a trusted member of Voldemort's inner circle. Somebody named Crouch had grilled Dumbledore about Severus' involvement, but Dumbledore had firmly maintained that he had been loyal to the Order.

Most disturbing, however, were Ministry of Magic reports about his more recent activities. The reports were signed by Portage and documented Severus' activities on Knockturn Alley. It seemed that the Ministry had suspected Severus of trafficking in illegal potions right up until the previous summer. There were also reports of his patronage of a certain Knockturn Alley establishment called Glenda's Northern Star, a known house of ill repute. It was a type of business the Ministry seemed to turn a blind eye to. She had begun to wonder if Severus was still going there. She wished that she had minded her own business and not read those reports. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him with some hooker-witch with a flat stomach. He had not even bothered to write her at all this week. And where was he? He was supposed to come back to her last night. Maybe Glenda was putting in some overtime.

Emma realized that Severus had complete control over her. He was a consummate liar with the ability to do whatever he wanted at any moment while she was rendered powerless. She remembered what Michael had said at the hearing, that she really had no way of knowing, for certain, anything regarding him. Sighing, she got showered and dressed and went out to the dining room for breakfast. As she walked up the hall toward the dining room, she heard Severus' and Michael's voices, arguing, as usual. She picked up her pace and burst into the room. Severus, Michael, and Natalie sat at the table.

"When did you get here?" she asked. "And why didn't you come to our room to let me know you were here?"

"I did. You were in the shower, so I left my bag on the floor by the bed and decided to wait for you here."

"Why didn't you come back last night?"

"The Headmaster asked me to do something," he said. "I spent last night in London, at the Leaky Cauldron. He needed some supplies from Diagon Alley. I sent them off to him by Owl Post this morning before Apparating here." The truth was that Mundungus Fletcher had sent word that a Gringott's Goblin had been behaving oddly and had been fired. It was such an odd thing for the Goblins to do that Dumbledore had suspected that the Dark Lord was behind it. Severus had been dispatched to find him to see what he was up to. He had found the Goblin in Glenda's, drunk and disoriented, claiming that he had no memory of any events leading up to his dismissal. Severus was worried. The Dark Lord was adept at possessing the minds and bodies of weaker wizards and other creatures.

"And that's the only place you went? Diagon Alley?"

"Of course," Severus said. "Where else would you think I'd be going?"

Emma didn't answer. She sat at the table and a plate of Mrs. Trumbell's French toast appeared before her. "What were you two arguing about?" she asked.

"We weren't arguing, Emma," said Michael. "We were discussing Magical politics. I was just explaining to Severus about the Supreme Coven. Anyway, Severus, our Supreme Coven has only one law. It is the old Wiccan Rede, An it harm none, do what ye will. That covers pretty much everything, Severus, from baiting Non-Magicals to...oh, let's say, creating and distributing harmful potions."

Emma noticed that Severus looked up at her father sharply at that last.

"You provide your children with wands even before they can walk," said Severus, wanting to change the subject. He turned to Natalie. "When did you get your first wand?" he asked.

"Daddy began teaching me simple charms when I was six," she said. "But I used his first wand for lessons, and I didn't get to carry it on me."

"Americans will never stand for any government imposing restrictions or interfering on how or when we use magic, telling parents their children cannot do magic. Maturity and good sense is a process. A young witch or wizard needs to practice the Craft. The idea that at age seventeen, he will suddenly be legal and possessed of good sense is absurd. Besides, what is the point of having the ability and having it restricted at every turn?"

Severus merely shrugged and said, "Your country is only two hundred years old. It'll be interesting to see how that works out for you over a few millennia, especially as your population grows. You haven't been tested by fire like we have. Speaking of population growth, isn't it true that American witches and wizards always intermarry with Mug...I mean Non-Magicals for the sole purpose of increasing your numbers and to breed them out of existence?"

"That is absolutely untrue," her father had said. "Our country is somewhat larger than yours. In all that land, there are less than twelve thousand of us, most concentrated in the New England area. If we marry Non-Magicals at a higher rate, it's because most of us would never be able to marry at all if we waited to meet one of our own. It's not some sick plot to breed them out of existence. We are simply more open-minded about intermarriage. And as far as being tested by fire goes, most of your problems throughout history have been the result of closed-mindedness, bigotry, and racial hate. You use nasty racial slurs to refer to Non-Magical people and those born into wizard families whose powers do not develop. We see no difference between meeting one's needs by magic or technology. Both are born of human ingenuity. The American Community of Witches and Wizards exists in a bond of..."

"Yes, I know 'a bond of perfect love, perfect trust, and perfect peace with our Non-Magical brothers and sisters.' Well, it sounds like you have a perfect little Utopia over there," Severus had said sarcastically. "So why has the Daily Prophet been gloating so much lately about the prospect of your Community accepting Ministry rule and our economic system?"

"I planted those stories for the sole purpose of achieving Emma's release. There's no way on the Goddess' green earth that a branch of Gringotts will ever open on our soil. Nor will Fudge's face be adorning the walls of our Coven Chambers."

Severus had barked out a laugh. "So, you played them?"

"I did what I needed to do to achieve my ends," Michael had said. "In America, Witches and Wizards hold office at every level of government. One of the President's Cabinet members is a wizard, as are several senators and members of the House. Some people have a vocation for politics, for public life. Being a witch or wizard has little to do with it. Unlike here, we are Americans first and Wizards second. The ability to perform magic is a genetic trait, like having blue eyes or brown. It does not make us better than anyone else, or give us the right to kidnap or enslave any sentient being. Take the House-Elf situation. Our House-Elves have been free for well over two centuries. They are unionized and contract with families. Abuse is never tolerated."

"Excuse me," said Emma. "This is all very fascinating. But where is my mother?"

"Mrs. Trumbell took her breakfast to her room, Emma," said Natalie. "She says that it would be bad luck for your mother and Daddy to see each other before the ceremony."

Emma grabbed her plate and got up. "I'm going to go have breakfast with her," she said. "She'd probably a nervous wreck. It's nine o'clock. The ceremony is at three. Shouldn't you two start getting ready? Severus, August got you a tux for the wedding. It's in the closet."

"A tux? I am not wearing..."

"Oh, yes you are, Severus, if you want to live to see tomorrow," she said. "You both need to start getting ready."

"Emma," said Michael. "We're men. It's not going to take us six hours to get ready. Only you girls can manage to squeeze fifteen minutes of activity into six hours of time. August and Mrs. Trumbell are downstairs getting everything ready for the ceremony. I have nothing to do. In fact, I have the television charmed to pick up the playoff games. I'm going to spend my last two hours as a free man watching football."

Emma turned and, carrying her plate and juice, left the dining room, grumbling something about men and cavalier attitudes.

"Wait! I'll come with you, Emma," said Natalie, grabbing her toast and orange juice and following.

Natalie and Emma went to Viola's room where Natalie used magic to do their hair and make-up. The morning sped by. Around noon, Viola began to get nervous. She sent Emma to go check on Michael, in case he was changing his mind. Emma decided to go check on what Severus was doing first. He was standing by the closet, a towel wrapped around him, having just gotten out of the shower. He was holding up the tuxedo, eying it with an expression of disgust.

"Emma," he whined, "I'm going to look ridiculous in this."

"No you're not. You're going to look incredibly hot. Men always look hot in tuxedos. Think James Bond."

"James who?"

Emma sighed. "Never mind, Severus. Just wear the tuxedo. Please? For me?"

Severus hung the tux back in the closet and turned to Emma. He pulled her to him and lowered his mouth to hers. "I missed you," he said. "I'll make you a deal. Make love to me and I'll wear the tux."

"Severus, my hair and make-up are all done."

"It's been six days," Emma," he said. "Or are you just still mad at me for leaving you here?"

"You shouldn't have done that, Severus. This time is precious. Soon we won't be able to make love anymore and you went and wasted an entire week."

"And your answer to that is to waste even more time? I left you here to keep you from overtaxing yourself. I hated leaving you here. But I promised that I'd always put your safety and the baby's first. And I will."

"You could have told me that, Severus. And you could have sent letters this past week. I was imagining all sorts of stuff."

"What sort of stuff?"

"Like maybe you were spending time on Knockturn Alley, at Glenda's Northern Star."

Severus released her and stepped back. "How did you even hear about that place, Emma?"

"Michael sent me into his library to get something and I saw the file he compiled on you on the desk. I read it, Severus. It seems that you're pretty well known on Knockturn Alley. Were you really dealing in illegal potions?"

"Yes, I was. I'm good at making them, Emma, very good, in fact. So, the Ministry was investigating me, huh? Good thing I stopped. But, damn it, Emma. Your father deliberately left that folder out. He wanted you to read it. He is just trying to undermine me and this marriage. Don't you see that? His fondest wish is that we fail and he gets to keep you and our child. He does nothing but interfere. He makes cracks about me not being able to afford to buy you a decent house; he puts down my politics. He despises me, Emma. I keep quiet because I don't want you upset, but I can't stand that man. I'd hoped getting him your mother would give him something else to focus on, but I see it hasn't."

"Have you been faithful to me since we got married, Severus?"

"I promised you that I would be. In case it escaped your notice, I really have no need to pay for it anymore, Emma."

"You promised me that you'd stay with me until the end. Did that mean the end of our lives or..."

"I meant the end of this time, Emma. If the day comes that I have to walk away, be assured, it will be because I have to, not because I want to. I have to fix the mistakes I made. My presence at Hogwarts is more than just as a teacher. I made an Unbreakable Vow to Dumbledore to help protect Lily's son. Should the Dark Lord return I will have to send you and our daughter away to keep you both safe."

"What would happen if you broke the vow?"

"I would die, Emma. We have years together before Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts. If Dumbledore and I are vigilant, the Dark Lord will not be able to come back. We will be able to destroy him completely. Don't let your father's manipulations get to you. I promised I'd never lie to you, Emma. Don't you trust me?"

"I don't know," she said. "I want to. But after all this, you tell me that you're going to walk away from me and our child? Please, just get dressed, Severus. Wear whatever you want." Emma walked to the door.

Severus took out his wand and silently pointed it at the door, placing a Sticking Charm on it. When Emma attempted to open it, it held fast. She turned to see Severus holding his wand.

"Open the door, Severus."

"No, not until I make you understand." Severus crossed over to her and placed his hands on her upper arms. "If he even begins to suspect that I am Dumbledore's spy, he will come after you and our child. He would think nothing of killing a baby. He's done it before. And you? He'd play with you first, torture you, probably even turn you over to the Death-Eaters for sport, so he could watch them have their fun before he killed you. Don't be naïve, Emma. I am a pretty powerful wizard, and I am no match for him. When...if the time comes, you need to think only of yourself and our child and return to America to live under your father's protection. And if the Ministry falls, don't come back, no matter what you hear about me. You will know the truth, but you must keep it to yourself. I will stay loyal to Dumbledore until...until the Dark Lord is defeated."

"Or until you're dead, right, Severus?" Severus remained silent. "Oh God, you're not planning on surviving, are you?"

"I hope I'll survive. Nobody wants to die, Emma. The Dark Lord's plan is for world domination, the extermination and enslavement of the Muggle race. If he comes to power here, it won't be long before he casts his eye across the sea. Neither America's ocean border nor her arrogance will save her. They need to prepare."

"Are you going to warn Michael?"

"I hadn't thought of it, but yes, he needs to warn his Supreme Coven. I notice that you never call him dad when we're alone."

Emma smiled. "Yeah, I know. It's proving difficult to get used to. Titles like that, they're sacred somehow. I don't want to hurt him or Natalie, but maybe it's too late. Or maybe enough time hasn't passed. I don't even know what it means to have a father. I watch Natalie interact with him, hoping it will seep in by osmosis or something, but it doesn't seem to work that way. With Natalie, it's easier. Sisters can be friends and she has become my friend. She's self-absorbed, but in a funny way."

Severus removed the Sticking Charm from the door and said, "Emma? I'll wear the tux. But only because you asked me to."

Emma ran back to him and kissed him before running back out the door. She walked to Michael's door and knocked. His voice bid her to enter.

He was standing at the dresser, tying his tie. The television was on. He really was watching a football game. He turned his head and smiled. "Emma, is everything all right?"

Emma stood in the doorway. "Oh, yes, my mother sent me to check to see if you've changed your mind about getting married."

Michael laughed. "No, I haven't changed my mind, but she's probably half hoping I had."

"Well, she is a little nervous," Emma admitted. "So, who's winning?"

"Washington. I think they're going all the way this year."

"How did the Buffalo Bills do this season?"

"They went five and four, placed fourth in their division. They pretty much sucked, as usual. They really need a quarterback." he said.

"Well, at least I didn't miss anything." She hesitated a few seconds and then asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything you want, so long as it doesn't compromise national security, I'll even promise to answer."

"Natalie told me that your parents were Muggles," she said.

"We don't use that word, remember. But anyway, yes, my parents were Non-Magical."

"So, how did you find out you were a wizard?"

"My mother told me that her first clue came when I was three and she'd refused me a cookie. She turned around and the cookie jar was floating in front of me, opened, and I had one in each hand. Toys appeared in our shopping carts from out of nowhere. As I got older, I was able to know what people were thinking before they said anything. More than one kid tried to bully me only to find himself hanging upside down on the jungle gym in the play yard. Then, in fifth grade, the assistant principal stared at me in the lunch room. I stared back and heard his voice in my head telling me to come to his office. When I got there, my parents were there. He'd called them in. He explained the existence of wizards and witches to them and let me try a simple spell with his wand to prove it to them. He told them about the Salem Institute and I went there beginning the next year. They were actually quite relieved to find out that I wasn't some abnormal freak."

"What happened to your parents?"

"My father died when Natalie was seven. My mother did not handle losing my father well and died less than two years later. My parents were already in their forties when I was born. Natalie greatly resembles my mother. Same build, hair, and we all got our green eyes from her. My mother was born in England. She and my father met during World War II. Her maiden name was Janet Evans. She has cousins who still live here, but we lost touch decades ago. I keep meaning to look them up some day, but I've never gotten around to it."

"How do you manage to keep the existence of magic secret in America?"

"We don't live separately, so we don't have the problem of witches and wizards behaving and dressing strangely. We only wear wizard robes for ceremonial purposes, like solstice celebrations. Americans are a bit more likely to mind their own business when they notice something odd happen. We do use memory alteration charms from time to time, but it's mostly a personal choice made in the moment. I've been caught using magic a few times, but I usually just look at the person, shrug my shoulders, smile and walk away. They may look a little confused, but they usually just do the same. Over here, the Ministry of Magic acts like it's the end of the world if a Non-Magical person sees them do magic. But, really, who are they going to tell? Nobody would believe them."

"That's true," Emma said, smiling. "I thought, at first, I'd been dropped into a loony bin."

Michael smiled. "Well, that's not too far from the truth," he said. Then he turned serious. "Emma, while I have you here, there's one thing I want you to know. If you ever, at any time, want to leave your marriage, just tell me. I will take care of you and your child. I don't want you to worry about ending up homeless or poor. I would never allow that to happen. I know you say that you love him and that you're happy with him, but if that changes, if he changes, then you need not stay with him. Nobody, not him, the Ministry, has any say in it. You're not a piece of property. Do you understand?"

Emma nodded, feeling her eyes begin to fill with tears as she recalled the fear of being imprisoned, of that girl at the start of term feast calling her an "it," as if she was not even a person, her fear of that Circlet around her neck.

Michael looked saddened by the pain she obviously still felt. "Emma, I'm so sorry. Everything bad that has happened to you and to your mother has been my fault. I should never have just disappeared like that. I should have made sure your mother was all right. I promise you, nobody will ever hurt either of you again. I'll kill anyone who tries."

He gathered her to him and just held her while she cried. The top of her head didn't even make it to his shoulder. After a few minutes, Emma seemed to recollect herself and started. She hurriedly stepped out of his embrace. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I got your jacket all wet."

"Emma, it doesn't matter. I can fix things like that with a wave of my wand. I can't tell you how much you have come to mean to me, Emma. I know it is difficult for you, but I hope in time, you can come to love me."

"I do care for you, and I am so grateful that you're going to make sure my mother is safe."

"I'm grateful I've been given a second chance to spend my life with her. When I first learned of your existence and believed that you dead, I was heartbroken. I taped your mother on television, the news reports, and watched them over and over. I wanted to contact her, but I was worried that she would hate me. Then, when I learned you were alive, I stopped at nothing to claim you. Natalie was supposed to have gone back to the Salem Institute this year, but instead she agreed to go to Hogwarts just so I could have a spy in the school to make sure you were safe until I could gain your freedom through their court. When I faced your mother, I wanted to do it with you in my keep."

"You seemed very sure that you would be walking out of that courtroom with me that day."

"I knew they would turn you over to me. Fudge had told me flat out that he had enough votes in his pocket. I hadn't known that you were pregnant, though. That was a surprise."

"I wish you didn't feel guilty about what happened to me. You had nothing to do with it."

"I just want you to be happy and safe."

"I am. But I need you to respect my choices and my marriage. It may sound incomprehensible, but Severus and I really do understand each other. We have so much in common. Both of us were very much alone as children. No siblings, few friends. He was taunted for being poor and not of pure blood. I was made fun of for being poor and illegitimate. His father was violent and hurt him and his mother, and some of Mommy's boyfriends hurt us. He immersed himself in dark magic, seeing it as an avenue to being respected. I immersed myself in books, studying and work for the same reason. I read that file on your desk, but you already know that, don't you? Severus dealt in illegal potions to earn money. It's not fun being poor, you know. Do you really believe I saved all that money to come to England, to buy decent clothes, to help my mom with the bills from waiting tables? I used to sell homework, research papers at school."

"Emma, I don't trust him." Michael said.

"You don't have to. He's my choice and if you want to be a part of my life, you will respect that fact. And as for the rest, nothing that happened to me was your fault. You didn't even know I existed. Our relationship might progress better if it was based on respect rather than guilt and regret. I'd rather you wanted to be in my life because you like who I am and not to assuage your own guilt."

Michael looked at her for several seconds, silent, letting her words ferment in his mind. "You're right," he said finally. "You're very wise for someone so young."

"People used to say that I was born old, probably because I have always been rather serious. Emma looked down at her watch and started. "Well, I'd better let you finish dressing. You're getting married in less than two hours."

As she walked toward the door, Michael called out, "Emma!" She looked back at him questioningly. "I do like the person you are, a lot."

She smiled, but as usual, her smile seemed to transmit sadness instead of joy. "I like you too, Dad," she said before closing the door behind her.

Emma returned to her mother's room to tell her that Michael was still intending on going through with the wedding. She was sitting on her bed sipping a cup of coffee, a serene smile on her face. When she went into the bathroom, Natalie told Emma that she had spiked her coffee with Calming Potion as her mother had begun plotting to escape and run away.

They spent the next couple hours getting dressed and freshening their hair and make-up. Soon a knock came on the door. Natalie jumped up to open it and August walked in carrying their flowers. Viola's bouquet was made up of white tiger lilies. For Emma and Natalie, he had smaller bouquets of the same but tinged in a pale peach.

After handing the flowers to them, he said, "The Chaplain has arrived. He, the Ambassador, and the Professor are all downstairs. There are also several additional guests, mostly staff from the London Embassy, Prince Bandar from Saudi Arabia and his Aides and body guards, The French Ambassador and his wife and son and a few friends of the Ambassador, only about thirty in all. I floated the piano from the drawing room into the conservatory. Mrs. Trumbell insisted it would be bad luck to not have music at a wedding. I swear that woman makes up old wives tales on the spot for every occasion. At any rate, if you're ready, I'll escort you downstairs now. Mrs. Trumbell really doesn't play or sing that well, and we've been listening to it for the last fifteen minutes. Please come. She won't stop until you do."

Emma, Natalie, and Viola all laughed and followed August to the elevator. They took it down to the first floor and entered the conservatory. The floor to ceiling windows admitted an almost blinding amount of sunlight that reflected off the snow-covered grounds outside. August and Mrs. Trumbell had erected a trellis at the far end that had vines of white roses covering it. Chairs had been set up in front, forming an aisle for them to walk down. Natalie went in first followed by Emma.

As Emma walked toward the trellis, she spied Severus sitting in the first row on the left. She nearly fell over. He was wearing the tux and an expression of disgust. And she had been right. He looked absolutely incredible in it.

Finally, August, who was also Michael's Best Man, took Viola's arm and escorted her to the trellis where Michael stood with the Chaplain.

Viola turned and looked at Michael's secretary. "You're a good man, August," she said.

"I know, Mrs. Dalton," he said.

After the ceremony, the photographer August hired took several photographs of all of them in various combinations. August explained that the man was a wizard, but he would be creating two albums, one magical with pictures that moved and the other not. Emma asked for copies of the non-magical prints, especially the ones that were taken of her and Severus together. It had never occurred to her before, but they had no pictures of their own wedding.

After the ceremony, they formed a reception line in the foyer as the guests made their way to the large formal dining room on the other side. In the reception line, Emma greeted Paul, who had brought his fiancée, a pretty dark-haired woman not much taller than Emma was. She was worried as they moved on to Natalie, but Natalie smiled brightly and welcomed both of them, congratulating them on their own upcoming wedding. Natalie seemed to have completely forgotten about her broken heart over Paul's engagement to another woman.

The reason became clear at dinner when she managed to switch seating cards to make sure she sat between both the young Marine she fancied and the son of the French Ambassador. She spent the evening flirting outrageously with both of them. Emma felt vaguely envious watching the ease with which she handled the two young men.

After dinner, a musical ensemble August hired set up and they had some dancing. Knowing Severus' dislike of the activity, Emma pled tiredness and sat with him to watch, although she did have a chance to share a dance with her father before he and her mother left to catch their flight to Paris.

By eleven o'clock, she was truly feeling tired, so she and Severus made their escape to their bed, leaving August and Mrs. Trumbell to keep watch over Natalie and the few remaining guests.

"Severus," she said as she closed the bedroom door. Despite what he thought, she loved the way he looked in that tux. "Before you get undressed, would you do something for me?"

"I guess," said Severus. "What do you want? Olives?"

"No. Would you tell me that you like your martini shaken, not stirred?"

"But I don't like martinis at all," he said, his expression clearly revealing his suspicion that she was insane.

"Just say it, Severus. And then I want you to come over here, kiss me, and pick me up and carry me to the bed so we can make love."

"I thought you were tired."

"Not anymore. I want to play a game I just made up. It's called 'The Spy Who Loved Me.'"