Salt

Remus stood on the edge of the shoreline trying to find Sirius.

It was salty here. Like the roaring ocean wind. It sliced into his pale skin, whipped and tangled his robes about his legs, staggering him. It wasn't what he was looking for.

Salty as the strong, grey ocean. Powerful and terrible. Beckoning him, pulling him in with its hypnotic waves. Remus would not be fooled; this isn't what he wanted.

Salty like the cold rain. It fell in icy sheets, cutting and biting into his face, soaking his clothes. He felt heavy. Heavy and terribly old. It forced him to his knees but he would not give up. He still hadn't found what he came for.

Salty, like the tears that streamed freely down his face. Hot, burning his skin. They stung his eyes and he wiped impatiently at his face but he knew they were never going to stop falling. His heart was in a vice and it was squeezing all the life out of him.

When he ran his tongue across his lips he could taste the salt. Wind, rain, ocean, tears and salt all accumulating on his mouth. He had only wanted to chase away the wind cutting and chapping his lips. He decided it wasn't so bad. He would deal with the peeling splits later. He didn't want to taste the ocean.

None of this was what he came for. It wasn't salty like Sirius. Like his smooth skin, his pretty lips, his aristocratic nose, his elegant neck, graceful fingers or strong shoulders. A taste Remus knew so well it hurt.

Sirius has often joked that Remus tasted sweet because he ate so much chocolate. Remus would roll his eyes at the silly joke; it had grown tired. But then he would laugh and kiss the lips he loved more than anything. Salty like Sirius, not sweet, like Remus.

Remus slumped over onto his hands and knees. The vicious wind pushing and pulling him like a rag doll, the malicious rain pounding into his back, tears falling into the hard, stinging sand.

He clutched desperately at the ground, trying to get a grip on something, anything; sobs racking his tired, thin body. He clawed at the sand. He punched the ground in anguish. He was lost. Lost in the ocean. Lost in the wind. Lost in his own mind. The salt of his tears falling, joining with the elements of the shore.

He would give his life to hear Sirius make a stupid joke again. To have the freedom to roll his eyes, but feel overwhelming fondness anyway. To taste him once more.

Sirius tasted like the ocean. Or maybe the ocean tasted like Sirius. At least, it used to when they would come here together. It felt like so long ago and it probably was. But now the taste was empty and artificial. Mocking him, jeering at him and his desperate attempt to find his lost love.

He hated this place. He hated it more than anything he'd ever felt.

Remus stood up and defied the ocean. Defied wind, rain, tears and salt. Defied the cruelty of his own foolish thoughts. Why look for what is gone? Why hope for the hopeless?

He couldn't find Sirius here at the shoreline, and so, he would never return again.