I Saw My Lady Weep

31: Did I Dream This Belief? Or Did I Believe This Dream?

Ginny heard her door open. She looked up from her reading and smiled at her older brother. "Ron! Is Harry with you?"

"Of course... He's talking to the Healers about your release. Today's the day! You're going home!" He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I've got some clothes for you. I'm sure you're ready to get out of these dreadful hospital gowns." He held up a bundle of cloth: jeans, a t-shirt, her trainers, and a roll of socks.

"Thanks, Ron. I really want to get out of here," Ginny smiled at him. After three weeks the Healers had finally declared her completely healthy. After regrowing shattered bones and enduring the slow growth of missing or partially missing internal organs, she was more than ready to go home.

Ron just nodded.

"How's Hermione doing?" Ginny asked, hesitantly. Ron and Hermione had returned to England from Australia early in her stay at Saint Mungo's, with Hermione's parents in tow. The next day, Ron... and suspiciously not Hermione... had arrived at the Wizarding hospital to regale her with tales of their Australian adventure. He told her about the beaches, and about the animals, and about riding in a Muggle "aeropane". And then he told her about the fight between Hermione and her parents over what Hermione had done to them. It was Ron's opinion that Hermione might not ever be able to fix things...

"Well... you know... she's down about it all. It's understandable. I think she knew going in that this might happen." Ron shook his head, sadly. "I don't know what to do for her. And now, of course, she's back at school, so I can't talk to her when I want."

"There's still letters," Ginny prompted.

"I know... I got one the other day. But it's not the same," Ron sighed. He muttered, "Can't kiss a letter..." and Ginny grinned.

"Don't be so down about yourself. At least you haven't been cooped up in a hospital. I can't wait to get out of here and do something... walk around... play Quidditch... whatever, as long as it's not lying in a bed."

"Mum wanted to throw you a big welcome back dinner, but Harry's not letting Mum do it. Or rather, he told her that for tonight, he's going to take you home and have a quiet evening. She and Harry got into an argument over it, really." Ron looked a bit sheepish. "The definition of 'home' I mean... Mum thought you might be coming back to the Burrow, but Harry put a bosh on that."

Ginny just nodded. "Yes, well... she needs to learn I don't live at the Burrow anymore."

"She does, yes." Ron turned a bit pink. "That's why we didn't tell them you were being released today."

"Oh, very clever..." Ginny climbed down from the hospital bed. "Could you give me a minute, Ron? I'd like to get dressed."

"Oh, yeah... sorry." Ron's eyes grew wide. "I'll... er... just step out then."

"Thanks. I'll meet you out there," Ginny said as she started dressing.

Minutes later, she joined her brother in the hallway. She was delighted to see Harry chatting with Ron. "Hey there, you!" She lit up in response to his smile. "So... can we get out of this place now?"

XxxxxxX

"So... You said you've heard from Hermione?" Ginny sat on the couch with Harry. The first thing she'd done when she arrived at Grimmauld Place was toured the house, as if to make sure it was as she left it. This was, to Harry's mind at least, understandable. It had been a month since she was last there, after all, so re-familiarizing herself with the place made sense.

Ron nodded. "She sent me an owl the other day. She says that the classes are interesting, and that there's a flock of new teachers. Apparently they're all saying the same things the teachers said back in our fifth year for the O.W.L.s. She says it's really strange, looking up at the Head Table and seeing McGonagall sitting in the big gold chair. Oh! And the sorting was twice as big this year as it was last year..."

Next to Ginny, Harry nodded. He pulled Ginny toward him until she was leaning against him. "That makes a lot of sense if you think about it... you've not only got this year's crop of Firsties, you've got last year's as well... all those Muggleborns who stayed away from Hogwarts in droves."

Ron stared into space for a moment. "I almost wish I'd gone back with her, now. Almost... I miss her. But you know... there are Hogsmeade weekends coming." He looked up at his sister. "Did he tell you about my big project?" Ron nodded toward Harry.

Ginny shook her head. "What big project is he talking about, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "He's fixing up the Shrieking Shack for me, and in return he and Hermione get to live there rent free."

"You're going to live in Hogsmeade?"

"Sure... at least for a little while. It'll be convenient... George wants us to open up a second shop in Hogsmeade. He and Fred were planning it... you know... before..." Ron looked embarrassed for a moment. "Not only does it let me help George out, it'll be a chance for me to have a bigger stake in the business. Plus, I get to give Hermione a place to call home. I get the feeling she needs that, now that her folks..." He let the statement trail off unfinished.

"Yeah, that makes sense." Ginny let her brother off the hook. "So... how far have you got? What's left to do out there?"

Ron tapped off items on his fingers. "The roof doesn't have holes in it anymore, and there's glass in all the windows. Also, all the plumbing's been updated, though I need to get the heating charms restored on the hot taps. I pulled the old, mold-eaten carpet off the staircase and straightened it. Oh, and the entire master suite is complete. I did that first, so I'd have some place to stay. The rest of the house is a wreck, but my... well... our, I suppose, once Hermione and I are both living there... our bedroom is perfect from one side to the other."

"Well, at least you have your priorities thought out," Ginny laughed. Ron blushed to his toes.

"It's not like we have a lot of room to talk, Ginny... first thing I did when I came here was to make sure Kreacher rounded up a mattress for me to sleep on... and when you left your parents, the first thing you did was talk about redecorating the bedroom." Harry was laughing the entire time he talked. She made to punch him on the arm, but he caught her fist and kissed the knuckles.

"So... Ron..." Harry began, changing the subject, "are you staying for dinner?"

"Can't, mate... I'm going over to George's tonight. He wants me to help get his place straightened out. Apparently, he has a date." Ron grinned.

"A date with whom?" Ginny asked. "He hasn't been out with anyone since Katie, and that was... what... two years ago?"

Ron raised an eyebrow. "With... er... Angelina Johnson, apparently."

"Wait... Fred's Angelina Johnson?" Ginny was vaguely shocked, but didn't know why. "He's taking out Fred's girlfriend?"

"Apparently." Ron looked at his hands.

"Does anyone else think that's a phenomenally bad idea?" Ginny frowned. "I mean... what's in her head, anyway? She and Fred were really close... he told me once he planned on marrying her, eventually. So what... she's going out with her dead boyfriend's twin now? Can we all say 'necrophilia', maybe?"

Ron and Harry just looked thoughtful. "On the one-hand," Harry said, "it's good that he's not moping around his apartment getting drunk. On the other hand, he's going out with someone who might not be the most stable right now... It's like they'll be helping each other to continue their own problems."

"Yeah."

Ron nodded again. "Yeah, well... what can we do? He's twenty-two years old. We're not his parents, we're his siblings. We can't just tell him who he can and can't see when it comes to his girlfriends."

"Oh, you're just now deciding that siblings don't have a say in each other's personal lives?" Ginny's voice was cutting. "What changed between now and back when you were telling me how to live my life, Ronald Weasley?"

"Everything. The war changed everything." With that, Ron stood. He stepped to the fireplace. "I'll see you guys later. On the next Hogsmeade weekend, how about the four of us getting together for lunch, yeah? It will be my treat!" And with that, he Floo'd away.

XxxxxxX

Ginny stood in front of the mirror and stared at her torso. The scar stared back at her. It ran from just under her right breast and ended just above and just to the left of her belly button. When she first arrived at Saint Mungo's, the long scar was a dark port-wine color, almost garishly so... an ugly, angry purple. Now it was merely an ugly, angry pink.

The Healers had done their best at removing most of the scars her accident had caused her. The ones on her face were almost invisible, as were the ones on her arms. She had resigned herself to the splatter-gash scar on the back of her leg. But this one was different. This one was hideous. She was hideous. The disgusting thing... this hideous reminder of almost dying... was awful to look at. She felt spoiled somehow, and knew, deep in her heart, that Harry wasn't going to want to touch her once he saw it.

At the thought of Harry, Ginny let her nightgown drop, hiding the disfiguring mark. She then picked up her dressing gown and put it on. Ginny thought for a moment about climbing under the blankets in the bed, but couldn't figure out how to justify keeping her dressing gown under the covers. She sat down on the right side of the bed; the side that had, quite arbitrarily, become 'her' side of the bed, and watched the shadows move over the carpeting. Without even noticing, she started biting at her thumbnail.

Harry came into the bedroom mere minutes later. "Well, I put out the cat, turned off the lights, and locked all the doors." He stretched expressively. "Been a long day, but worth it. I am so glad you're home, baby."

She winced slightly at the endearment. 'Baby' wasn't one of her favorites, but she wasn't going to correct him. Besides, she had bigger things on her mind. Ginny watched as Harry stripped down to his yellow boxer shorts. "Harry... I..."

He hadn't heard her. "Decided to go with the nightgown, then? I'd kind of grown used to you wearing nothing but your knickers and a smile." Harry waggled his eyebrows at her and grinned at her with an exaggerated leer. Normally, it would have caused her to giggle, but tonight...

"Harry..." she began again, "... I... um... I understand if you want to... you know... sleep somewhere else. Or something."

"What? What are you talking about, dear?" Harry said, sounding concerned. "Are you not feeling well? If you're in pain or something I can go kip on the couch tonight..."

"No, honey... I... well... I haven't shown you yet. And I don't know how you'll feel about me afterward."

"Shown me what?" She watched as Harry's forehead scrunched up. Ginny recognized the expression as being "puzzled yet concerned."

Ginny sighed. "I'm not sure I want to show you... that's the thing. You're not going to want to touch me afterward."

"Oh come now..." Harry laughed. "I doubt it could be that bad. I mean, unless some new Dark Lord's shown up and you've taken his version of the Dark Mark..." He sobered for a moment. "You haven't taken some berk's Dark Mark, have you?" His face was utterly straight, but it was his voice that gave him away. He couldn't stop himself from laughing at himself for saying that.

She took a deep breath and stood. The dressing gown dropped to the floor. Slowly, she pulled her nightgown up over her head, and it joined the dressing gown. Ginny slowly turned toward Harry, holding her arms protectively over her chest. Even though she was still wearing panties, she felt utterly naked and exposed.

It was obvious that Harry was worried about what was going on. After the initial surprise... her joining him in the shower, them sleeping half-naked together, dressing in front of each other... being naked in front of each other had become easy. But Ginny knew she was acting shy now, something she had never done since moving in with Harry.

"What?" Harry asked, and Ginny sighed.

"It's... it's the... this," she said with tears in her eyes. One hand waved in front of the scar. "It's hideous and ugly and makes me look awful."

Harry's eyes went wide. He reached out and held her... just held her. "Ginny... you're not awful and the scar isn't that bad." He laughed gently. "At least it's not on your forehead where everyone can see it"

"Harry, that's not funny."

"Sure it is."

"No, it's not." Ginny leaned into him. "It's not funny at all. It's like I'm not as pretty to look at anymore." Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that this wasn't about the scar at all. It was about the shock of almost dying. It was about weeks of pain. It was about fear. But she kept obsessing about the scar.

"You're beautiful and I love you." Harry picked her up, holding her even more tightly to his chest as he moved toward the bed. "And I always will."

XxxxxxX

Ginny carefully moved Harry's arms into a more comfortable position. He responded, in typical Harry fashion, by pulling her into a slightly closer embrace. She had listened to his breathing grow more and more regular until she was convinced he was asleep.

The tears had started again, but this time they weren't brought about by sadness or fear. She felt a pleasant burning sensation deep within her body that spoke of secret, forbidden feelings. She was happy. Harry made her happy. He had been kind, and gentle, if clumsy, and while their lovemaking hadn't been perfect at least it had been heartfelt, and spoke of things to come.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So this is what it feels like to no longer be qualified to capture unicorns..." Ginny tried not to laugh at her own joke, but the feeling of contentment and love was too much to contain. Ginny pulled the pillow over her mouth and laughed into it. She was desperate to not wake Harry, and concentrated to keep from shaking in his arms. But it didn't work.

Harry shifted, and Ginny felt rather than really saw his shadowy presence lean over her. "Ginny? Are you... are you crying? Is everything okay?" He pulled her into a deep hug.

"Everything's fine, Harry... it's okay. I love you."

"I love you too," she heard him say. She smiled, and cried in his arms for the joy of it.