Keeper's Secrets

Keeper's Secrets, Chapter 3 -- Hallelujah

The small blue-and-white planet tilted slightly, stopped, wobbled slightly and started to tilt in the opposite direction. It was December 21st, 1994, the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, and the day on which Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley fell in love.

* * *

Oliver rubbed the sleep from his eyes and turned to peer at the alarm clock by the side of his bed, which was currently pointing to "You've Still Got Time To Snooze". Giving a satisfied, sleepy little snuffle, he flopped over and buried his head in the pillow and tucked his left arm around Mr Snowy, the stuffed cat he had slept with ever since he could remember.

It struck Oliver as a little strange that the sun should be shining through his window while his alarm clock was saying "You've Got Ages Yet", particularly in winter when the sun didn't come up properly until about 9 am. Of course, he then remembered that he was on holiday and that he didn't actually have to get up at any set time. With another little snuffly noise, he relaxed completely and sank into the fluffy pillow in his own bedroom.

Precisely four seconds later, he was in the corridor, racing towards the bathroom, Mr Snowy looking particularly disgruntled under a fold of the thick duvet under which Oliver had just been sleeping.

* * *

Oliver dashed back along the corridor, towel akimbo and having a serious Hair Moment, in something approaching "panic". He just managed to swerve in time to avoid trampling over his brother Elijah, who had left Hogwarts a year previously, and was a total tit in Oliver's opinion. Percy was supposed to be arriving in a couple of minutes, and they were supposed to be going down to Diagon Alley to hear Alyeska, a new American singer-songwriter who had just arrived and was giving a mini-concert in Here Be Dragons, the new bookstore which had just opened and which Percy had been raving about for several days now. It seemed like he lived in the shop, which was understandable with the size of his family, and the fact Percy said that Here Be Dragons had an excellent cafe and coffee shop attached, with some particularly comfortable sofas.

Oliver pulled a jumper on on and looked in the mirror. Light blue? No. Too little boy. He shedded the jumper and threw it in the corner. Red? No. He pulled that one off too. I look like a gimp in that one. His yellow round-neck, green fleece and grey roll-neck all joined the pile in the corner, until he had a brainwave and yanked open his chest of drawers and pulled out his old black velvet v-neck, with its long sleeves. He pulled it on and quickly grabbed a pair of black corduroys, throwing the jeans he had had on onto the bed, threading a belt through them as he looked around for a clean pair of socks to wear.

He sprinted out of his room, grabbing his favorite dark purple hooded cloak as he slammed the door shut, brushing past Elijah coming the other way (who muttered a choice few words at him), and thumping down the stairs, across the hall and into the kitchen, where his mother was sitting at the table. She looked up from writing her last few Christmas cards to the people who she hadn't included on her original list but who had sent cards to the Woods.

"Everything okay, love? You seem to be in an awful rush..."

"No, Mum, just got to get down to the Alley to see this new singer," Oliver said, grabbing a morning roll from the countertop and savagely munching into it. He rounded the countertop and opened the Floo Powder jar, taking a pinch and throwing it in the fire. "The Burrow!" he yelled, and as his mother said "Don't shout, darling, and I thought you said you were going to Diagon Alley," he stepped into the fire and began to spin around. He was very used to the Floo network, so he could actually take another bite of morning roll as he arrived in the Weasley's kitchen.

"Oh, hello, Oliver," Molly Weasley said, her hands up to their elbows in a massive bowl of some pudding-like mixture. "Percy's just on his way down. Percy! Would you like a cup of tea, love? There's some in the pot, help yourself."
"Thanks, Mrs Weasley," Oliver said, pouring himself a mug of tea and splashing some milk in from the pint bottle next to the teapot. He gulped it down and was just putting the mug (it was a Chocolate Frogs mug which Oliver remembered had been packaged with the Frogs last Christmas) back down when Percy came in, looking very tight-lipped.

You're the one that I want
Woo-oo-ooh.

-Grease, "You're The One That I Want"

"Hi, Ol," Percy said. His eyes, however, spoke volumes.
"Hi, Perce," Oliver said, slapping Percy on the back. "Need to get out of here?" Oliver asked sotto voce.
"Yes. Your house."
Oliver straightened up. "Oh, bugger, I've forgotten my wallet. Mind if we pop back to mine, Perce?"
"No, s'okay," Percy said, eyes grateful.
"See you later, love," Molly Weasley said, as Oliver and Percy disappeared with a muttered "The Woods" at the fireplace.

Little Blue
How do you do?
Your smile looks like heaven
but your eyes hold a storm about to brew

--The Beautiful South, "Little Blue"

Oliver and Percy reappeared in Oliver's kitchen with a pop.
"Back so soon?" Mrs Wood said from the table. Elijah glowered from the countertop where he was making a sandwich.
"Yes, I just want to pop upstairs and show Percy my broomstick," Oliver said smoothly. "He wants to feel what I've done to get it so grippy."
"Okay, darling," his mother said, turning back to her cards.
Oliver gestured for Percy to go ahead of him up the stairs and into his room, where Percy collapsed onto the bed with a muffled sob, holding his head in his hands.
"Percy?" Oliver was shocked. He'd never seen Percy show this much emotion.
"Mmmfle mmble Fnngh Jrrgh bnnfrrd!" Percy said, his head still buried in Oliver's trousers.
"Okay," Oliver said, pouring a glass of water from the jug next to his bed. "Drink this."
Percy lifted his head and Oliver pulled the trousers out from under Percy's head, folded them and put them at the head of the bed by the pillows. Percy gratefully took the glass and drank deeply.
"Thank you," he said weakly, as if he were going to start sobbing again at any moment.
"Now. What's up?" Oliver asked, refilling Percy's glass.
"Fucking brothers," Percy said, his voice breaking slightly. "Fucking bastards."
"Ah," Oliver said, knowing exactly what Percy meant. "What was it this time?"
Percy mumbled something which sounded like "I don't want to talk about it" and took another gulp of water. "'m okay. 's fine."
"Back in a sec," Oliver said, and walked down the hallway, wet a flannel in the bathroom sink and brought it to Percy. "Here. Wipe your eyes, Perce."
"Thanks," Percy said.
God, he's cute when his face is tear-stained, Oliver thought.
Oh, he's so concerned...he's so lovely... Percy thought between sniffs.
"You okay?" Oliver asked.
"Yeah," Percy said, sighing. "It's just...ugh. Bastards. I am not going to let them spoil my day."
"That's the spirit," Oliver said, clapping Percy on the shoulder. "Off to Dragons?"
"Yes. Let's," Percy said, standing up and cleaning his glasses.
Hmm. He'd look cuter without those silly horn-rimmed things, Oliver thought to himself. Bah...who am I kidding? He'll never be my boyfriend or anything...

What, never?
No, never!
What, never?
Well...

- Gilbert & Sullivan, "HMS Pinafore"

* * *

They emerged from the Floo Network at the Leaky Cauldron and hurried through Diagon Alley. Percy opened the door to Here Be Dragons and walked in, pushing it open for Oliver. There weren't too many people there yet, and they seemed to just be setting up the set for Alyeska. It wasn't much, just a high-backed, long-legged chair with a furry zebra cushion, and some recording equipment. A table with copies of Alyeska's latest album was off to the right, and several comfy-looking sofas and chairs were being arranged by two harassed-looking young booksellers, whose nametags proclaimed that "Meria" and "Pippin" welcomed you to Here Be Dragons and hoped they could be of assistance.

"Want to get a seat at the front?" Percy asked, brushing up against Oliver.
No, I want to take you to the Old Manuscripts section and fuck your brains out. "Yep, good idea." Oliver followed Percy, willing his eyes not to stare at Percy's bum as he walked around Meria, Pippin and another employee who was carrying a large box of the latest Vevelia C. Ponkleberry romance, which his mother had on standing order with Flourish & Blotts. Percy chose a sofa which bore an unusual resemblance to a tiger and laid his coat over the back of it. Oliver did the same with his cloak and followed Percy to the coffee bar, but was sidetracked by the latest Quidditch Almanac which was sitting on the Newly Arrived table. While he leafed through it Percy bought them each a cappucino and started to look at an anthology of Roman poetry.

"Whatsat, Perce?" Oliver asked.
"Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo," Percy replied. And if only you knew what that meant.
"Oo-kay. Any good?"
"Yes, quite, there are some rather good poems in here," Percy said. "Not really worth the asking price, though...I'll search through some of my old books if I want to read any of these."
"I didn't know you went in for Roman poetry...or any poetry, actually."
"Whyever not? I love poetry," Percy said, taking a sip from the cappucino as they walked back to the sofa. The bookstore was starting to fill up with people, and there were only a couple of rows of seats left at the back.
"Me too," Oliver said with a smile. "Though I'm quite picky."
"Really? What do you like?"
"Well...I love Coleridge's Kubla Khan."
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree?" Percy quoted.
"Yes, where Alph, the sacred river ran, through caverns measureless to man, down to the sunless sea," Oliver continued.
"It's a good'un," Percy said. "I'm rather partial to Jabberwocky. It just sounds so much fun."
"'Twas brillig," Oliver said. Hmm...you could be gay after all, Percy my friend.

Alyeska chose that minute to walk out to the center of the set, so Percy and Oliver quickly put their cups down and started clapping. She was wearing a set of turquoise green robes, which set off her long curled auburn hair perfectly. She was carrying an acoustic guitar, and smiled at them all as she sat down. In the background, someone turned down the lights in that section of ths store.

"Hi, and welcome to Here Be Dragons," she said in an American accent which neither of them could place, laying the guitar across her lap and started to tune it. "Glad you could make it. Thanks to everyone here for having me." She cleared her throat. "My first song today is going to be an old Joan Baez song, which I'm sure tons of you know..." With a jaunty smile, she adjusted the guitar and started singing. Her voice was pure and simple, reaching out to them. She sang uncomplicatedly, as if she were just speaking the words rather than trying to sing them.

"How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must the white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
How many times must the cannonballs fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind,
The answer is blowing in the wind."

-Bob Dylan, "Blowing in the Wind" (made famous by Joan Baez)

As Alyeska sang, Oliver sat back and closed his eyes. In his mind, he saw Percy. How many years must some people exist before they're allowed to be free? How many times can a man turn his head and pretend that he just doesn't see? Alyeska went into a little picked instrumental bridge before the last verse, and called out "harmony, anyone?" A couple of people at the back started to harmonise with the tune, and a few more picked up, until it sounded like a fully-voiced choir. The answer is blowing in the wind. The bookstore erupted into applause as the song finished, and Alyeska grinned and tossed her head back in a laugh, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "Thank you! Thanks! You guys rule!"

She took a sip from a glass of water under her chair and smiled at the audience again. "Okay...this is one of my own songs, and I call it Fire and Ice. Hope you like it." She struck a cord and began to hum.

"Oh, he is Fire
And I am Ice
He warms my heart
And melts it twice.
But I am strong
And I am cold
I draw my coat
Around my shoulders.

Oliver almost shivered as the discord of the last chord faded before Alyeska started the second verse, her face a portrait of anguished, unrequited love.

He warms my soul
He warms my face
At any time
In any place.
But I am cold
And I am distant
To me his warmth
Feels nonexistent.

Percy stole a look at Oliver. If only...if only he would love me... He focussed his attention back on Alyeska. Oliver looked at Percy out of the corner of his eye. Could he love me? Could he?

If I were Fire
And he were Ice
I'd hold his heart
In my heart's vice.
He'd keep on trying
To make me colder
But all he'll get
Is one day older."

-John Walton, "Fire and Ice"

The last cadence resonated from Alyeska's throat, and the room hung on it as if there was supposed to be more of the song...a conclusion to the unrequited love. Alyeska smiled and leant down to take a sip of water as first one person started to clap, then a second and a third, until the room was thundering with applause. "Thank you. Thank you. Shh, people! I'm often tempted to write a fourth verse in, but I think the unrequited love does quite nicely there, don't you?"
"Yes!" a young witch who Oliver remembered was in Ravenclaw shouted from the back of the room. He didn't remember the lip-stud or the nose-ring from seeing her at Hogwarts, though. Nor the dyed-pink hair.

"Wasn't that a fantastic song?" Percy said excitedly to Oliver.
"Amazing," Oliver agreed. As Percy turned his head, Oliver studied him. He'd give anything to be with Percy...and he didn't care what it was, he didn't care how much it cost him.

"Okay, folks, I've got one more and then I'll give you a break from hearing me," Alyeska said. "This is another cover, of a Leonard Cohen song, called Hallelujah. If you've ever been where this song has...I'll buy you a drink in the break." The crowd chuckled, and Alyeska smiled, though she looked as though she meant it. "You can join in the choruses if you like. They're easy enough." She started picking the notes of the chords with a guitar pick

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Her voice floated across them, singing Hallelujah. Oliver looked down at his hands, on his trousers, and closed his eyes again. In his mind, he and Percy were in the middle of a wooden dance floor, under a spotlight. Hallelujah. Percy's arms were around his neck, and his were around Percy's middle. Hallelujah. In his mind, Oliver looked deep into Percy's eyes, and saw... Hallelujah.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.
She tied you to a kitchen chair,
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Percy's eyes closed. He was sitting opposite Oliver, across a small table an expensive restaurant, as Alyeska's voice flowed over him. Hallelujah. Between them was a tall red candle in a silver candlestick, and they were both looking at it. Their eyes lifted and met each other, and a world of understanding passed between them. Hallelujah. Oliver smiled at him, a loving, caring, adoring, emotional smile. Hallelujah. Percy sank deep into Oliver's smile, into his eyes, into... Hallelujah.

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Percy dropped his hands from around Oliver's neck and moved back a step. Hallelujah. He turned his back, and walked slowly away. Hallelujah. Oliver pushed his chair back slowly, and it creaked across the floor. Hallelujah. He crumpled his white linen napkin and placed it gently on the plate in front of him, stood up, and walked away without a backward glance. Hallelujah.

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Percy's eyes opened again, and he turned his head sideways. Hallelujah. Oliver opened his eyes too, and turned to look at Percy. Hallelujah.
They looked at each other and Oliver nodded his head twice, slowly. Hallelujah. Percy nodded his head back, twice and slowly. Hallelujah.

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah.

Oliver's eyes remained locked with Percy's. Hallelujah. Percy couldn't break the eye contact if he'd wanted to try. Hallelujah. They gazed into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Hallelujah. Oliver blinked and leaned closer to Percy. Hallelujah.

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

"Percy," Oliver said silently, his lips moving slowly. Hallelujah. "Oliver..." Percy replied. Hallelujah. "I love you," Percy breathed, his inhibitions and his worries lost in the Hallelujah. "I love you too," Oliver whispered, the words coming out of him like the wind from a suddenly-trimmed sail. Hallelujah.

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Percy gazed into Oliver's eyes. Hallelujah. Oliver returned the look. Hallelujah. Percy leaned forwards. Hallelujah. Oliver bent towards Percy. Hallelujah. As their heads moved beneath the high back of the sofa, their chins angled upwards. Hallelujah. Oliver's lips pursed slightly and Percy's shaped to meet them. Hallelujah. Their mouths met, and Oliver's hand reached up to caress Percy's left cheek, the stubble shaved away that morning. Hallelujah. As the song ended, the only things in the universe at that moment were just Oliver and Percy...and as the final word floated away from Alyeska, she was the only one who could see them, with nothing in their minds but Hallelujah.

-Leonard Cohen, "Hallelujah"