Slightly Off-Kilter

Severus scowled at the green bear, its silver ribbon shredded and hanging over its nose from the stuffed toy's upside down position against the blackened sofa. The bear too looked a bit cooked, further testament that Gayle had not left willingly but there had been a struggle to encourage her leave.

He didn't want to think of where Gayle was and the company she was involuntarily keeping but Severus knew it was something he was going to have to face. The odds that Gayle would survive was pretty slim. If Gayle was targeted then it was a foregone conclusion that Severus was coming up soon in the 'take down the traitors' scenario.

"What do you think, Severus?" asked Albus doubtfully.

"Cut and dried to me, Headmaster," Severus said in a formal, cold tone. "We're looking for a corpse."

Albus gave him a long worried look and nodded resignedly. He'd come to the same conclusion.

The school year started and the students were startled to find an even more ill-tempered and morose Potions Master than before. If they had walked on eggshells around him before, now the shells were Fabrege and expensive to boot. No word on Gayle's whereabouts, not even a clue, had presented itself and the worst was assumed. Severus acted as if in mourning and the staff treated him as such. Order of the Phoenix members kept a close watch out for signs of Gayle but to no avail. It was as if she'd simply vanished.

Halloween fell away to the Christmas season and the snow covered the ground in a thick blanket. The grounds keeper Hagrid, a half-giant of a man, was busy chopping down trees to decorate the Great Hall when he spied a lithe form moving from tree shadow to tree shadow. Immediately wary, Hagrid approached and discovered a gaunt and pale Gayle stumbling slowly but surely toward the castle.

"I made it," she gasped happily as Hagrid picked her up as if she were nothing and ran for the castle's huge front doors. "I made it!"

The front doors burst open and Hagrid came through them with a whirl of snow and something bundled in his arms. Severus, Albus and Minerva were almost ready to enter the Great Hall for lunch. "Hagrid, what on Earth -" protested Minerva before she spied what was squirming in Hagrid's tight embrace. "Gayle?"

Gayle wiggled out of Hagrid's arms and flew straight for a very stunned Severus Snape. Three steps from him, she leaped and landed perfectly in Severus' arms, snuggling her cold body next to him lovingly. "Hiya, Sevie, miss me?" she cooed at him and then gave him a hug so hard that it pushed the air out of his lungs.

"Gayle?" he whispered disbelievingly, his voice shaking as much as the rest of him. He held her tight and without thinking, turned on his heel and raced for the school infirmary. Hagrid, Minerva and Albus followed right behind.

Madam Pompfrey, the school nurse, clucked and soothed as she warmed Gayle up, allowing the woman to babble excitedly about her daring escape. It was quickly ascertained that she'd not been harmed at all, merely detained where Voldemort could be assured that she wouldn't inadvertently babble any secrets. The Dark Lord had assumed that he could use Gayle's insanity against the Order but had overestimated how crackers she truly was.

Albus began to suspect a ruse when her explanation was clear, concise and without tangents off into bizarre subjects (other than her mentioning that Severus needed to wear something besides black more often, which Dumbledore actually found viable). He watched her with narrowed eyes as she explained everything yet again when Severus demanded it without getting a single fact out of order or confused. It was obvious neither Severus nor Minerva had caught on.

"Severus, go prepare someplace for Gayle to sleep in your chambers. Minerva, I want you to send an owl to St. Mungo's head physician and inform them that Gayle has been found and will remain at Hogwarts for the time being. Poppy, I wish to speak with Gayle in private for a few moments." Albus organized the room clear of everyone except him and Gayle.

It was as if the years melted away. Her brown eyes were clear and bright, not wild-eyed and slightly glassy as they had been the last time he'd seen her. She gave him a shrewd look and a wry smile. "Can't get anything passed you, eh, Albus?"

"Rarely," he agreed.

"I hope Severus kept notes on all his potions because that last one he shoved down my gullet was a winner." She grinned at him slightly.

"That was a very foolish thing to do, if I have the events in my head correct," admonished Albus sternly.

Gayle sighed. "I know, but it was all I could think of. You set it up so perfectly I just couldn't resist. You probably have everything right though."

"The last potion restored your sanity?" inquired Albus, pleased despite everything.

"It took a couple of weeks in my system but yes. I was right about them making me sick. The last one made me dizzy and I had headaches all the time. No doubt the desired reaction, but since I didn't tell him the symptoms, Severus never knew." Gayle hugged her knees to her chest. "By the time you guys had put me back in St. Mungo's the plan was fully formed in my head. Voldemort came just as I figured." She tipped her head to one side. "By the way, if I'm an admissable witness I can confirm that Peter Pettigrew is indeed still alive, thus clearing Sirius."

"We'll come back to that," agreed Albus. "Please continue."

"Actually it was Pettigrew that came after me. We struggled, I zapped the bear and the sofa right before he knocked me out with a lucky Stupefy shot. I came to with Voldemort talking to his flunkies. I babbled like a loon at him and he laughed all the way to my special chamber. They interrogated me and I meandered around half-truths and bizarre facts that only a maniac would come up with and they dismissed me as a righteous candidate for St. Mungos. Voldemort had this brilliant scheme that they could feed me information that would trick various key members of the Order but alas I pretended to not get the facts right sometimes, frustrating them more than anything. They patiently continued to coax me however and just when I got everything right and they were going to send me out into the world, I escaped." She looked triumphantly. "Score one for the nutters, Albus."

"Indeed." Albus looked pensive. "Severus won't be pleased at your deception, you understand. He's been quite upset about your assumed demise when we found no trace of you."

Gayle sighed again, staring into nothingness. "I know," she confessed, "but I honestly believe it was for the best. You would not believe the information I've gathered, Albus. I think, deep down, Severus will understand. We've risked our lives for much less in more dangerous ways so he really has no room to complain."

Albus grinned slightly. "I suppose not, but don't expect a warm welcome once he figures it out."

Gayle grinned saucily at the headmaster. "He's not going to. I'm going to 'slowly' come back to normal. I'm going insist on one more draft of a Sanity Potion, pretend to take it and voila! I'm me again."

Albus looked at her shrewdly. "Are you the old Gayle or slightly improved version?"

"Slightly improved actually," she said. "I'd say I'm still a bit crazy but in a fun kind of way."

Albus smiled broadly. "Excellent. Severus has actually missed the chaos you wreaked, though he'll deny it with his dying breath."

Gayle grinned evilly. "Yes. I know."

Severus gaped at her. "Your bear?" he repeated stupidly. She nodded. "You...but..." He sighed. "I'll buy you another."

"Okay!" she chirped and snuggled against him. A withering look at the staff in the staff room stopped any forthcoming snickers. That comment alone should have warned him, but it didn't.

Two days later he was still fooled. "Sanity Potion?" he repeated in confusion. "You want to try one more?" She nodded vigorously, holding her silver bear with the green bow around it's neck tightly, as if it might get away. It had been sitting on her trundle bed that morning; Severus had already gone to teach his classes. "Very well, I shall whip one up this evening!"

Gayle beamed at him as if he were a god. Severus couldn't help but smile back. He never suspected that his plant in the corner of the room seemed to suddenly die a withering and painful looking death that same evening.

Exactly two weeks later they were arguing over the demonstrative properties of wormwood root and wormwood bark in PepperUp Potion. Severus, puffed up with his own importance and cleverness, never suspected a thing. Gayle and Albus kept the secret.

Did they live happily ever after? Well, let's just say there was an empty cell at St. Mungo's for a very long time and leave it at that.