Just Lust

Just Lust

12/10/77 - New Moon

The night was born with a certain vagueness that came to be expected by the young girls that celebrated it. On this night, only the clouds would veil the delicate secrets that simply a flickering light would regard and ratify. On this night, masks of happiness, intelligence, and even frivolousness, were inverted to expose five identities marked by unfaltering bravery and remarkable uniqueness. On this night, betrayal was set aside along with lies and distrust in an inescapable pit--a pit which was the product of the sweat, the tears, and the blood that had once belonged to friendship and love.

On this night their story began.

From an outsiders perspective the night in question would seem to be the reunion of a devilish cult consisting of only female members, for they encircled a rotund candle in the most entrancing and mysterious way. Among the urgent whispers, distinct and mischievous laughter could be deciphered; and the only elements of light that would allow intruders to utilize their sense of sight were the flaming candle and the sporadic glimmer of a nosy star - the moon was currently unavailable.

Any outsider would classify the vanilla scented scene before them as malicious and corrupt. But to those who knew of the true intentions of the group could see how blatantly pure and incorruptible they actually were, those who did know were few and currently part of the aforementioned circle; who, by the way, were engaged with a rather petty confession, that - in their opinion - was not petty at all.

"Well, did you snog him or not?" This shamelessly blunt question was posed by Katherine Roberts, the self-acclaimed best chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Katherine, or Kat as she was more widely known, was the athletic connoisseur of the seventh year girls' dorm - which makes sense, when considering the influence her four brothers had on her, the only girl in the family.

The recipient of the shamelessly blunt question, Ashley Windsor, offered an equally shameless answer: "Yes, he was quite good." Such a disgraceful attitude would seem unladylike and downright vulgar to most. But since she was not used to her new-found attention from the opposite sex, her situation was quite different.

"You don't say! I simply can not believe that the prudish, saintly, self-respecting, nun snogged the Hufflepuff seeker!" Natasha Beckett shot out sarcastically, causing the rest of the girls to laugh. Sarcastic Natasha, simply put. Her humor did come in handy often times, sadly, it did not come without an annoying cost.

"Weren't you over him? You don't need to snog someone just to inflate your self esteem," Lily Evans coolly put in. Though her own doubts about her advice were bubbling beneath her, she spoke with confidence, knowing - or hoping - her words were true. Though no matter how hot her doubt would become beneath her, she was too stubborn to let go of her faithful principles.

"I agree. The foundation of your confidence should not depend on the hollow approval of a hormonally driven teenage boy," spoke the youthfully wise voice of Julia Deleon, the reasonable conscience that was always dutifully ignored. She was smart, but fun loving - though only when the time was right. God forbid she should be slacking off during studying hours.

"I'm just meant to be misunderstood!" Ashley said dramatically. "So, what have you got for us, Kat?"

"It's Kenny. He's started spying on me again. It's so frustrating and he's getting Kevin and Kyle in on it too. If my brothers don't leave me alone soon, I think I'll kill them all," Katherine complained menacingly.

"He's just worried about you, Kat. He doesn't want you to get hurt," Julia tried to reason with her.

"Why do I have to have so many brothers? Why couldn't I just be an only child! Or have sisters instead," whined Katherine.

"You don't want be an only child," Ashley insisted. "It's quite boring."

"And you definitely don't want a sister," Natasha concluded with Lily nodding in agreement.

"I know what you mean, though. Potter does the same thing. At least Kenny's related to you, Potter has no reason to be worried about what I do," Lily huffed.

"Still going through that dry spell?" Ashley asked playfully.

"Yes! I mean, I know it's not me. Before Potter I had plenty of guys who fancied me! It's his bloody fault no guy will look at me for longer than three bloody seconds."

"Well, that's how it's been for me since I began to notice boys, stupid Kenny. Looks like you're destined for the same tragic fate," Katherine sadly related.

"All of you should concentrate more on your studies and less on boys," Julia began her familiar lecture. Really, I mean you'll all forget about these boys the minute you reach the real world. Your studies, that's what will get you far once you leave the castle. Only then should you start pursuing your love life."

Natasha rolled her eyes, "You are so right. Now, let's stop this boy nonsense and take out our Transfiguration books!" The girls laughed.

"You all laugh now, but I know that I will not be the one crying over a boy, and don't expect me to console you when you get your hearts broken," the other girls rolled their eyes at Julia's declarations.

"So, tell us Julia, what's been going on with you lately? Anything we should know?" Katherine asked.

"Well... no," Julia noticed the candle flicker. "Okay! Well, um... I don't want to say..."

"What? Why not, what are you hiding?" Ashley badgered.

"I'm using my secret key!" she proclaimed defensively.

"No fair," Ashley was disappointed that Julia was keeping her business a secret. What was the point of their meetings if she wasn't going to spill her thoughts?

"Natasha, your turn," Julia hastily shifted the attention away from herself.

Natasha eyed Julia curiously before speaking, "I broke up with Damon and, surprisingly, I feel relieved."

"Don't you mean divorced?" Lily stated sarcastically.

"Yeah, you were for like two whole years!" Ashley said amazed.

"Well, what was then? You usually aren't to quit on someone easily," Katherine was also surprised by Natasha's confession.

"I don't know. I was surprised when I told him as well. All of a sudden I just feel like I need time for myself, he was just too... attached."

"I'm surprised you're saying that," Julia seemed apprehensive.

"What do you mean?" Natasha asked accusingly.

"Well, Natasha," Lily began cautiously. "You've always been um... dependent on others. Not in a bad way, of course. You just never really seemed to want to have free time."

"Well, whatever. Lily what were you planning on sharing?" Natasha clearly wanted to get off the topic of her dependency issues.

"I kind of already said my piece. My dry spell is killing me! I know what you're going to say Julia, and I concentrate enough on my studies, thank you. I am Head Girl, after all." Julia crossed her arms and decided to pass on Lily's piece of information.

"My advice: snog someone. There are plenty of boys that are willing. All you have to do is pick one," Ashley explained.

"When you find someone that doesn't mind being on the wrong end of Potter's wand afterwards, let me know."

"If it wasn't for James..." Katherine said more to herself than anyone in general.

Natasha gasped, "I just thought of something." Her expression subdued as though she just realized that it was a bad idea, "Never mind."

"What is it?" Lily inquired.

"You won't agree to it," Natasha insisted.

"Will it solve my horrid, embarrassing problem?"

Natasha nodded.

"Well then, what is it?"

"Potter..."

"He's the source of my problems, how is he a solution?"

Natasha snorted at the irony that only she seemed to see. "Well, he, um... he's the only one willing... I mean, he can't end up on the wrong end of his own wand. What I'm saying is... you could snog him and then, you know, dispose of him."

"That's horrible," Katherine objected.

"What do you mean? That's perfect," Ashley disagreed.

"I would never do that!" Lily said defiantly.

"I told you, you would never agree," Natasha regretted she had spoken her thoughts.

"Why would she, you can't just use someone like that," Katherine stood up for her Quidditch captain.

"Why not, it's not like he hasn't done that with other girls," reasoned Ashley.

"Just because he's done it doesn't mean that she should do it back. He genuinely cares for her, that would be cruel," Julia defended Katherine's point.

"It's not about Potter's feelings! It's about my pride. I will not give him the pleasure of snogging me. Never," Lily was determined.

Natasha sent her an oh-really look, "Enjoy your dry spell, then. It'll last until you leave Hogwarts."

"What's so bad about that, Lily?" Ashley asked. "I mean he's good looking..."

"He fancies you," Natasha continued.

"I bet he's a good kisser," Ashley and Natasha seemed to be in a compliment-James verbal ping pong match.

"He's really sweet, when he wants to be..."

"He's really popular."

"He's a wicked chaser," Katherine interjected.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Natasha asked amusedly.

"I don't know. I just wanted to join."

"So what do you say, Lily?" Ashley asked hopefully.

"If I say I'll think about it, will you all leave me alone?" Natasha and Ashley nodded energetically. "Fine, I'll think about it."

"Lily's going to snog James!" Natasha sang happily.

"This plan is highly illogical," Julia spoke up after her indignant silence. The other girls smiled at disapproving attitude.

With that, the candle was blown out in darkness. They bid each other goodnight and fell soundly asleep--a small but nagging load lifted off each of their consciences.

---

Another confession was being dealt with not too far away by a group of not so unfamiliar boys. The current residents of the seventh year Gryffindor boy's dorm were each in their respective beds, though only one was actually asleep. The aforementioned confession belonged to the infamous James Potter. The confession: why exactly he fancies the one and only Lily Evans. Though this topic did not come as a surprise, it had never been so freely spoken about before...

"... and then when she drinks from a straw, that's the cutest--"

"Prongs, will you bloody shut up already?!" Sirius yelled at James from his bed across the dormitory. "You fancy her, we get it!"

James sat up on his bed, "Am I talking that much? I mean, it's getting to the point where she's all I can think about. I mean, I think... I think it's more than that, Padfoot. This can't be just a little crush..."

"James, how do you know? What if this is just an infatuation? What if it's just the thrill of a chase?" Remus suggested.

After a few moments of silence, James spoke up, "I've never thought of it like that, but how am I supposed to know? I've never felt like this."

The three boys rested in comfortable thought for a few minutes.

"I've got an idea," Sirius proclaimed, grabbing the others' attention. "You should test her out. You know, try and snog her."

"Padfoot, that's not an idea. Those are my daily thoughts. Here I am thinking you're going to tell me something helpful."

"Did you even think about Lily and whether or not she would even agree to that?" Remus asked.

"Okay, well, that's the only problem, but once you snog her you'll be able to tell how you really feel. Maybe then you'll shut the hell up," Sirius muttered the last part, but not low enough.

"You don't care about my feelings at all, as long as I stop talking," James said sadly.

"That's right," confirmed Sirius candidly.

"Thanks mate."

"No problem."

"Do you think I can get her to snog me?" James asked hopefully.

"Sure, why not? Shouldn't be that hard," Sirius encouraged him.

"Now you're making me feel like there's something wrong with me!"

"Look, just do the opposite of what you've been doing now. Even if it's not the right way to act, you'll still get her attention."

James seemed to come upon a realization, "That might work."

Remus glanced between the two interested, "It's not going to work."

"Why are you so negative, Moony?" Sirius questioned.

"She's just not interested. She's made it pretty obvious so far."

"Thanks for your vote of support Moony," James grumbled.

"It's still worth a shot," Sirius insisted. "Look Prongs, tomorrow act exactly the opposite way that you act in front of Evans. Barely even look her way. If you don't get a response from that then there's not a chance in hell she'll snog you."

James nodded, "That sounds like a good idea."

"Good, 'night then," Sirius turned over in his bed.

Remus shook his head in disagreement, "This plan is highly illogical."