Lessons

He was her Master, and she wholeheartedly devoted herself to him. Bellatrix was a stubborn, strong-willed person and would never bow down to anyone, but for him, she was willing to give up who she was. It was as if she lived to serve only him.

But he wasn't just her master; he was her teacher as well. It all began when she had met him once; she was quite young then. Bellatrix clearly remembers the profound conversation they had to this day. He must have seen the potential in her, and so he began to give her lessons.

Lord Voldemort taught her things. Many things that would never be taught in any school. Things that she would have never imagined herself learning. And somehow, she always managed to impress him, because she was a fast learner. She had always found his lessons to be interesting, much more than the dull and monotonous lessons they had at school.

As the days passed, they became better acquainted with each other. Bellatrix began to notice that there was something different in the way he looked at her with his fiery eyes. He would often address her casually as "Bella" and not "Bellatrix". It made Bellatrix wonder if he did fancy her. If he did, she probably wouldn't have found it surprising. After all, several people had found her to be attractive. It would have been most flattering.

Soon, their lessons seemed to be more on an intimate level, often ending up in nights of passion. He had taught her the meaning of pleasure and lust, and she had enjoyed every rendezvous they had.

Bellatrix can recall by heart everything he taught her, but there is one lesson that she wishes she could forget.

That night, they were together on the bed, lying there in silence for a long time. She had been foolish enough to ask him if he ever held any feelings for her. Without even bothering to look at her, he said indifferently, "You can never satisfy me completely, Bella."

It was a simple and short statement, but it had made its point. And from then on, Bella learned that no matter what she did, she would never be an equal in her master's eyes. He respected her skills, her loyalty, and regarded her as a confidant, but he would never learn to love her. It was one of the most painful lessons she had learned, because she felt as if she loved him. She didn't know whether it was love, really, or strong obsession. Whatever it was, she felt strongly for him; she craved for him so much. To this day, she still admonishes herself for even thinking that he would ever fall in love with someone.

He had also taught her about pain. For the Cruciatus curse to work, he had said, one had to truly intend to inflict pain. He had subjected her to the Cruciatus curse several times that it would probably cause little pain to her now. It was a lesson that was valuable in battle, and for teaching her that, she was grateful.

"Bella," he told her once. "Words create lies. But pain can be trusted. You can say something and not mean it, but pain is a true feeling. It is something you can't deny." She had never fully understood what he meant. There were times when he would tell her things that were rather deep or philosophical, and while she didn't understand all of them, she valued them all the same. Her master was intelligent; perhaps too intelligent for his own good.

When Bellatrix was with him, she always felt above everyone else. He didn't love her; it was true, but he did seem to value her more than the rest of the Death Eaters. She liked to think that she was special to him, and perhaps it was true. And while she would never give him full satisfaction, he was able to satisfy her---something that not even her husband could do for her.

She's done everything for him; applied everything she learned from him. She had chosen to suffer in Azkaban for him than renounce him, as a sign of her loyalty. There were times when she would fail to do what was asked of her, but generally, her performance as a Death Eater was good. He would've been proud.

Perhaps one day, the Dark Lord will reward her. But for now, it is only a thing of her dreams.