More Than Friends

More Than Friends

Ch. 5 Realizations

Hermione's sense of relief all disappeared and every single muscle in her body tightened. She couldn't breathe...everything seemed to be spinning, and her senses became uncomfortably aware of Harry's very being.

"What was that, Harry? Sorry, I missed it." Hermione tried to stall from hearing the dreadful news about her best friend's undying love for another beautiful girl. At the same time, she couldn't just leave at the very moment...Harry would get suspicious. Plus, there a part of her that actually wanted to know.

"I said: I fancy someone else now." He examined her carefully to see if she was catching on. She was looking anywhere but at him.

"Oh. That's...great, Harry." She looked up at Harry and gave him a smile. For some reason, this smile was the hardest to maintain.

Harry knew her enthusiasm was false, and saw her smile falter.

"Hermione? Are you okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She swallowed hard. She didn't know if she could stand being in the room any longer; she knew she had to get out. "Um, I'm really tired, Harry. Do you think we could finish this conversation later?" Hermione faked a yawn, and stretched.

"Um, sure, I guess." He had to admit, he was disappointed she wouldn't stay. After a few moments of silence during which Harry watched Hermione gather her things and head for her room, Harry broke the silence. "Hermione?"

Hermione was halfway to her room, and stopped when she heard Harry's deep, velvet voice. "Yes?" She turned around.

Harry's Gryffindor courage had escaped him once again. Damn it! Just tell her! "Um, good night."

Hermione sighed. "Goodnight, Harry." With that said she turned back toward her room and closed her door.

Harry stared at the spot Hermione had been just moments before and mentally kicked his self for what he had gotten himself into. He never thought it would happen, but it was plainly obvious to Harry now...

I love Hermione.

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It was Friday night and since there wasn't much homework assigned for the weekend, Harry and Hermione spent the night catching up and hanging out with their friends in the Gryffindor common room. However, ever since that tense night in their common room a week ago, neither Harry nor Hermione could think of anything else but.

Harry looked across the room to where Hermione was and saw that she was currently engrossed in a conversation with Ginny. Hermione laughed. Gods, she's beautiful. Harry smiled to himself as he watched Hermione's face light up.

"Harry? HARRY!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry Ron. I didn't catch that." Harry shook himself out of his reverie and turned his attention back to Ron who, until Harry dazed out, was talking about some new tricks and strategies they could use to beat Ravenclaw in the Quidditch match next week.

"Of course you didn't catch that. You've been starring at Hermione for the past five minutes."

"No, I haven't!" Harry quickly denied.

"Yes, you have," Ron said as-a-matter-of-factly. "It's no use hiding it, Harry. That's all you've been doing this whole week is stare at Hermione." He smirked as he watched his friend frantically try to think of an excuse.

"I, uh, I-I, well, you see..." Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew he couldn't hide it from Ron- he was his best mate, after all. "Can you keep a secret?" Harry directed his friend toward the back corner of the room, so no one could hear their conversation. Ron followed.

"I'm all ears."

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"...and that's when I realized that these feelings have always been there. It's always been her, but I've always denied it. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do." As Harry finished telling Ron about his newly discovered feelings for Hermione, he hung his head in his hands in desperation. He sighed.

Ron looked at his friend in sympathy. He knew it would happen sooner or later. He knew Harry would wake up and see what was beside him all along. He just couldn't believe it took this long. "Well, what else is there to do? Tell her!"

"I can't." Harry looked up at his friend. "She doesn't like me in that way. If I tell her, she'll feel awkward around me and things won't ever be the same. I can't lose her as a friend." He looked over at Hermione. "I'd much rather have her as a friend-for-life rather than my for-now-girlfriend."

"But how are you so sure she doesn't feel the same way?" Ron sat back in his chair and examined Harry adoring his object of affection. When Hermione and Ginny headed for the girls' dormitories, he turned back to Ron.

"Trust me, she doesn't. Why else has she been avoiding me all week? Ever since that night I almost told her, she has only spoken to me when truly necessary. She probably feels weird around me."

"You never know. Maybe she's been ignoring you because she thinks you like someone else besides her and she's jealous."

"I don't think so."

"You don't think so, but everyone else does." Ron watched in amusement as his friend's head came snapping back up.

"What? What are you talking about?" Harry was confused. What does everyone else know that he doesn't?

"Well, let's put it this way: everyone was shocked when Hermione and I went out because they all thought it would be you and her. When we broke up, I saw what they meant. Hermione has always been closest to you. Even while we were dating, she would be constantly talking about you. It sort of bugged me, to be honest. But now that she and I are back to being the good friends we were, I think no one could be better for her than you." Ron sat back in his chair and watched as Harry took in all he said. After a few moments, Harry let out a deep sigh- one of frustration.

"I don't know, Ron. I mean, I just don't know if I'm willing to risk my friendship with her. I've made things bad enough, as it is." Ron stood up and stretched. It was nearing 11:30.

"Well, just think about it and let me know what you decide to do. I'm going to bed. But trust me; it's very likely that she sees you as more than a friend too." Leaving that in Harry's head, he went off to his dorm.

Harry, however, didn't move from his spot. Instead, he sat in his chair and thought on Ron's words.

Could he possibly be right?

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(Earlier that same evening during Harry and Ron's conversation)

Hermione looked over to where Harry was and saw that he was settled in the corner of the room talking to Ron. Probably talking about Quidditch again...or...her. Whomever the 'her' was, Hermione already didn't like her. She came to the conclusion last night that her feelings for Harry have become something more; they always have been something more. She knew that she could never see him as only a friend once again. That's why she hated 'her'.

"Ginny, can I talk to you?" Hermione interrupted Ginny in the middle of whatever it was she was talking about. Ginny was taken aback.

"Well, we were talking until you interrupted me like that." She put her hands on her hips and pretended to be mad at Hermione.

"Sorry." Hermione gave her best gal pal a small smile of apology. Ginny noticed this was something more serious, and took off the mad act.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" She looked at her in concern.

"Do you think we could talk in your room? In private? I don't want to risk anyone eavesdropping."

"Sure." Hermione followed Ginny up the staircase and into her room. Thankfully, no one else was in the dorm. The two sat on Ginny's bed and Hermione took in a deep breath.

"So what's up? What's bothering you?" Ginny nodded to Hermione.

Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them. "H-How are things between you and Harry?"

Ginny was confused. "Um, they're fine." She said this slowly; as if it was the most plainly obvious thing in the world. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I'm curious. You have no more feelings for him whatsoever?" Hermione looked cautiously at her friend.

"Not as more than a friend." Ginny paused, then realization struck her and her face lit up. "You like Harry, don't you!"

"Shh!" She covered Ginny's mouth with her hand to shut her up. "I don't want them to hear; they're downstairs, for pete's sake!"

Once Ginny had freed herself from Hermione's grasp, she spoke again, but this time, much quieter.

"Okay, okay. So, when did this happen?" She sat eagerly awaiting Hermione's response.

"You didn't answer my question yet."

"Oh yeah. No, I have no more feelings for Harry in that way. We're good friends now. Sure it took a couple of weeks for things to go back to normal when we broke up last year, but things did go back to normal. Now we're the most platonic friends that friends could be." She smiled at Hermione. Hermione just sighed.

"Good. So, you don't mind that I like like Harry?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Nope."

"Good." Hermione looked relieved. Before she let her feelings go any further, she wanted to make sure Ginny was alright with it. She didn't want to hurt her.

"Well?" Hermione looked back at Ginny.

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to tell me just when you realized these...more-than-friendly-feelings? Or are you going to let me sit here in anticipation for the rest of the night?"

"Oh, right."

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"...and that's why I've been ignoring him this whole week. If he ever finds out, I'll die. He'll probably laugh on the spot and reject me right then and there. What am I going to do Ginny?" Hermione collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes.

"Do what most people do when they find out they're attracted to someone. Tell him!" Ginny knew even Hermione wasn't immune to the star seeker's charms. Every girl eventually had a crush on him; most, at the moment they meet him. But in Hermione's case, things took a bit longer...a bit longer than Ginny expected.

"I can't," Hermione groaned.

"Yes, you can. What's stopping you?"

Hermione's eyes snapped open, and she sat upright. "What's stopping me? Maybe our seven year-long friendship that I'll be putting at risk if I tried anything with him. That could be something." She gave Ginny a rather disbelieving look.

"Sorry, Miss Ihavetomakeeverythingcomplicated. I was just answering your question."

"Sorry, Gin. I'm just so frustrated. Of all people, why did it have to be him? Never in a million years would I imagine this."

"Actually, I'm surprised it took you this long."

"What? What are you saying?" Hermione had a look of puzzlement on her face.

"Well, everyone always knew it would be you and Harry. Then when I went out with him, everyone became shocked and came to the conclusion that you two were too oblivious to your feelings and always would be. Trust me, he thinks of you more than a friend should too." Ginny watched Hermione as she let all this new news sink in.

"There's no way, Ginny. He even told me the other night that he likes someone else." Hermione lay back down on the bed.

"Exactly! He said he likes someone else besides Cho- not besides you." Ginny was trying to convince Hermione what everyone else plainly saw. So far, nothing was working.

"Gin-"

"Come on, Hermione. Must you make everything complicated?"

"Everything already is complicated." Hermione stood up and began pacing. "If I ever did go out with Harry- which, I never will- and we broke up, things would never be the same between us. I might even lose him as a friend, and I couldn't bear to even consider the idea. I can't do anything that would jeopardize that." She stopped pacing and stood with her hands on her hips facing Ginny.

Ginny sighed. This girl's head was a thick as the books she reads- and, considering this very girl was Hermione, that was rather thick. "Fine, don't believe me." She lay back on her bed and faced the ceiling.

Hermione sighed in frustration and rubbed her temple. "You know what, I'm tired. All this thinking is really wearing me out."

Ginny faked a gasp. "Hermione tired of thinking? That's not possible."

"It is when the subject of the matter is Harry." Hermione said this is a small voice, causing Ginny to look back at her friend. She saw the sadness in her eyes and stood up to hug her friend.

"Come on, 'Mione. You need some sleep. It's almost midnight. We'll figure out what to do. Don't worry." Ginny released Hermione, and gave her a small, yet sincere smile.

Hermione looked back at Ginny, and was grateful that her friend was so patient with her. Had someone been talking with her about their boy problems, she would have given up 30 minutes ago. "Okay. Some sleep sounds good right about now. Night Gin."

"Night Hermione." With that, Hermione headed back downstairs.

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