Almost Lost

“James Potter! We are through! Absolutely! I never want to see you again!” Lily Evans screamed at him at the top of her lungs as he cowered in a corner of the Common Room. “How could you do this? This is the last straw! You and I are finished!” She turned and marched out, leaving James sitting on the floor, hunched over and completely miserable.

“Hey, James. It’s alright. I know what she meant to you but you’ll get over her.” It was Sirius. But best friends can’t fix everything. James buried his head in his hands in his frustration, dark hair falling over his forehead, shielding his eyes.

“No, you don’t understand. She wasn’t just some great kisser Hufflepuff I picked up after dinner one night. She was It. The One. True Love. My Other Half. Whatever you want to call it and I blew it.”

“What did you do?”

“I don’t have any clue.”

Sometimes you get second chances

And sometimes you never make it past the first

“How could you not know?”

“I just can’t think of anything important that I did that could possibly get Lily this mad at me. Not if she really loved me the same way I loved her. The same way I do love her.”

“That’s not what I meant.” James looked up from his hands and Sirius could see thin streaks down the sides of his face. It was the only time he had ever seen James cry and they had been best friends since they were little.

“Huh?”

“Don’t you know?”

“Know what?”

“The rumors.”

“I don’t believe in rumors.”

“Lily obviously does.”

It really makes you wonder why some things happen when they do

It really makes me wonder why it wasn’t me instead of you

“What are you talking about, Sirius?”

“Someone obviously told her what the whole school has been going on about for a week. That James Potter kissed another girl.”

“I did not!”

“I didn’t think so and I didn’t think it mattered as long as it wasn’t true but it does and now Lily thinks that you did.”

And when you say it doesn’t matter, well it does

“Lily?” James knocked tentatively on the door. There was no answer. “Lily?” he called again. This time there was an answer, though not the one he wanted to hear.

“Go away,” screamed a muffled voice.

“I think I know what this is about.”

“Good job, Mr. Potter. I’m glad you got it through your thick skull. Now go away. I don’t want to see you again. I thought you said you loved me but I guess I was wrong!”

And all it takes is a mistake to eat your words

“But Lily! They’re wrong!” The door opened suddenly but it wasn’t her.

“Leave, Potter. I think you’ve done enough to her for one day!” The door slammed and James was left standing in front of it, feeling lost.

Just one more time I think I’ll drive on home tonight

Sometimes you never see the warnings

“Lily! I’m not leaving till you at least talk to me!”

And the voice in your head tells you not to go

It really makes me wonder why some things happen when they do

It really makes me wonder why it wasn’t me instead of you

“GO TO HELL!”

“NOT THAT KIND OF TALKING! Look, Lily.” He took a deep breath to calm himself down. “What happened. It’s not right. It doesn’t matter.”

“OF COURSE IT DOES! How can you say that it doesn’t matter?”

And when you say it doesn’t matter, well it does

And all it takes is a mistake to eat your words

Just one more time I think I’ll drive on home tonight

James was at a loss. Just the day before he had taken her down to the lake for a picnic lunch and it had been one of the happiest days of his life and now they were stuck on opposite sides of a door screaming at each other.

And when you look it’s gone

It’s too late to turn around

“But Lily! I didn’t do anything.”

“Grow up, Potter.” James flinched. He had been reduced to ‘Potter.’ “Face up to what you did at the very least.”

And it’s another day facing yourself and the things that you’ve done

Whoa-oh-oh-oh Whoa Whoa-oh

“I DIDN’T KISS ANYONE BUT YOU!”

“HOW DO I KNOW? Can you prove it? I didn’t think you would do this to me but maybe you’re no better than anyone else!”

“Just hear me out, Lily!”

“Why? I’ve heard enough of your wild adventures for one day!”

“But rumors don’t matter!”

“They do if they’re true! Just…leave!”

And when you say it doesn’t matter, well it does

And all it takes is a mistake to eat your words

Just one more time I think I’ll drive on home tonight

James Potter was lying on the couch to the side of the Common Room fire with his feet on the side of the couch and his arm over his eyes. He had long since outgrown the couch but it was still his favorite place to rest. It was warm from the fire, but it had a window above it as it was against a wall and he always had a nice view of the sky. He had been lying in the same position for nearly six hours now and, contrary to popular belief, he was not asleep.

“I’m worried about him,” whispered Sirius to Remus. Both were huddled at the foot of the stairs to the boy’s dormitory and had a clear view of the depressed James. “He hasn’t moved in hours.”

“She really was the special girl that he made her out to be,” murmured Remus.

“I’ve never seen him this upset about anything, much less a girl.”

“That’s what I mean.”

Lily was crying softly into her pillow. She hadn’t been able to stop for hours. Much as she hated to admit it, she did love him in spite of that one thing he had done. He was one of the most special people she knew and he was kind and gentle and funny and…she almost let out a laugh. He was more than anything he could ever do would make her stop loving him. She began crying again. Not even her friends could console her enough to make her stop crying, if only for a moment. They had left under strict instruction to come back at her slightest whim but that she needed a bit of time alone.

One last call to answer

Feeling full of despair

She missed him so much and it had only been…six hours? If this was how she felt now, how long would it take her to get over him? She let out a mirthless laugh. She knew it. She really was in love with him. She wouldn’t be able to get over him at all.

Don’t think I can get through it

Just one last prayer

She got up slowly and her crying finally slowed to ragged sobs before she got them under control. She loved him and he loved her and she knew it. At least she thought she did. And she was going to set it right.

And it’s a leap of faith

When you believe there’s someone out there

It’s a leap of faith

When you believe that someone cares

She got up from her bed and made her way down to the Common Room. The room was dark as the fire had gone out and all she had to see by was the light of the sliver of moon outside. It was empty except for one sole figure lying where she knew he would be. She padded over to him in her bare feet. He looked so peaceful with his arm over his face, much like she had seen him many times before.

“James?”

And when I call out to you will you be right there?

Right there

He took his arm away immediately and she could see he had been crying which was much how she looked.

“Lily?”

“I need to know the truth.”

Searching for the answer

Nobody seems to care

And now I wish that you were here

Beside me

To wipe away my tears

Lily couldn’t help it and a few tears made their way down her cheeks. James reached up and wiped them away. He sat up quickly as she fell to her knees and he held her sobbing body in his arms.

“You came back,” he whispered to her ears. “You came back to me.”

“It hurt, James. It hurt and I didn’t want to believe it.” His heart swelled to hear her use his first name.

“I’m glad you believed in me. You know I would never do anything like that. I care about you and I will never let you get hurt. By my hand or any other’s.”

And it’s a leap of faith

When you believe there’s someone out there

It’s a leap of faith

When you believe that someone cares

And when I call out to you will you be right there?

Right there

“Just tell me it’s not true. And…and that you’ll never leave. No matter what.”

Waiting for the answer

She could scarcely believe that merely a few hours ago she had believed that she might actually be able to survive without him. And she had been alone. That’s why she had come. For all those times when she wasn’t alone. When he was right there beside her, making her laugh and smile and love him.

Remembering times we would share

Somehow I feel you here beside me

Even though you’re not there

“That’s all I need to hear.”

And it’s a leap of faith

When you believe there’s someone out there

It’s a leap of faith

When you believe that someone cares

And when I call out to you will you be right there?

Right there

“And I need to believe it. Can you do that? James?” She sat back on her heels and looked at him, just visible in pale moonlight from the window. He was not wearing his glasses and his face looked younger somehow, and more vulnerable.

And I’ll be waiting by the window

For your smile to come through

And I’ll be waiting in the darkness

When I call out to you

And I’ll remember when you told me I could trust in you

“Remember when we first fell in love and I told you I would never lie?”

And it’s a leap of faith

When I believe that you are out there

It’s a leap of faith

“I meant it, Lily. You mean more to me than anyone else in the world. I care about you and I would never do anything that would cause you pain.”

When I believe you truly care

And when I call out to you I know you’ll be right there

Right there

And it’s a leap of faith

“I can’t help it, James, but I do believe you.”

“Will you ever talk to me again?” For a moment, Lily considered teasing him as he had done to her many times, but with his pale face and his wide, scared eyes, she couldn’t help but do what she did. Leaning forward slightly, she pressed her mouth to his. Admittedly, he was startled but not in the slightest way unhappy. She put her arms around his shoulders and he threw his own around hers. Both leaned forward in pure ecstasy of the other. And each could feel a single tear running down a cheek. Neither was sure whose it was.

When you’re all alone

And you need a light

Someone to guide you through the night

Just remember that I am here

To hold you close, dry your tears

Just when you thought you were falling

But you know I’ll always be right there

They say there is nothing like your first real kiss.

When you’re all alone

And you need a friend

Someone to help you to the end

When you need someone to catch you when you fall

I’ll be there through it all

That first special moment when you realize that the person holding you close is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Just when you thought you were losing

But you know I’ll always be right there

And I’ll be there through the goods times and the bad

And we’ll be there for each other because you’re the best friend I ever had

That revelation when you realize what you have is more than a crush and that you would do anything for the person on the other side of your moment.

Just when you thought you were falling

And you know I’ll always be right there

Whenever you need me I’ll always be right there

To each of them, this was that one all over.

I’ll always be right there