As the Light Fades

The moonlight always enticed me, even as a small child. In truth the sun, though warming and bright, always shone harshly on me. And now, like everyone else, I feel sure it will expose me to the enemy, which is why the grounds have lain empty all day and have done for the last three weeks. That is why I sit here now and bathe in the cool moonlight that casts a creamy glow across the navy black sky.

The trees of the Forbidden Forest are silhouetted against the navy sky, a giant mass of blackness. The grass carpeting the sloping lawns is crisp and frosty, each drop of dew resembling a tiny gem. From a lofty position, the whole hill looks like a hundred thousand crystals have been scattered by some generous fairy, proving that beauty exists alongside fear.

An owl swoops from a south tower window, echoing a piercing shriek before disappearing into the night. A shadow stands at a window and jumps slightly as the noise cuts through the silent night.

Strange how fear sharpens the senses. In the last months, every sound, even the tiniest movement has been magnified to twice its original size. More than once I have turned my wand on an innocent fellow student in the dark, terrified of finding myself faced with the horror of ambush.

No one ventures further than the icy corridors of the castle. And few even grace the stone passageways, most preferring to stay locked in dormitory or Common Room, choosing to believe that if they don't come out they will never be found. But there is nowhere to hide.

Hagrid's hut lays empty now, no light dancing at the square windows or smoke drifting from the chimney. The normally well-tended pumpkin patch is overrun with weeds and moss, long grass beginning to grow up the side of the cabin, ensnaring the back door. Hogwarts wasn't the same without its gamekeeper. But then Hogwarts isn't the same anyway.

The shadow moves again. As its form catches the moonlight, it reveals itself to be a seventeen year old, wand in hand, the only boy in his dormitory. Most people in the tower are huddled together in the Common Room, assuming the old lie of safety in numbers. But they are as frightened as he is, their dreams morphing into nightmares - nightmares soon to become reality.

I suppose no one ever thought it would come to this. Hogwarts is the safest place on Earth - how many times did I hear that said. And now I sit at the window, knowing that in a few hours ...there will be nothing left of the only place I ever called home.

I'd always believed deep down that evil would never prevail. It's the old fairytale isn't it? Good always wins no matter how strong the dark side grows. But in reality it isn't like that. In this harsh chaos the world has descended into evil is on its way to the last stronghold of light.

Dumbledore was the hope that kept the alliance alive. He was our lifeline. I don't think anyone ever realised how much the school depended on him. And when Voldemort rose again, he became a light nothing could extinguish. No amount of death, darkness and bad news could destroy his hope and determination.

I wish I could be as strong for my friends and fellow students now they expect me to take Dumbledore's place. To do what I achieved as a baby. It sounds so easy when put like that. But now the game is different. Now I have to fight for my life with my own wand. Fifteen years ago I was lucky - now I have to equal the most powerful wizard on the planet and I'm terrified of failing.

The boy shifted on the windowsill, wiping his face with his sleeve, brushing away the tears he'd held back for so long. His eyes roved the silent grounds again, taking in every possible route of entry the enemy might choose to break through. Eyes that seemed to absorb every emotion, love anger, grief.

Yes, there had been so much grief to take in. Eyes that had seen his friends die, had seen their bodies mangled and shapeless, left to rot. Eyes that had called out in agony for help, cradling his godfather's tortured body in his arms. Eyes that had watched his comrades in battle fall, watched them screaming as the curses hit them. Eyes that watched their lips mouth the words 'I'm sorry' and eyes that had closed in horror, wondering how his friends could think an apology was necessary, after they had given up their own lives in the hope that others would have freedom from evil.

They did so much, my friends. There is not one person in this castle who would not die to save another. These are the people who will draw their wands tomorrow and these are the people who will die fighting for what they believe is right. For some, or perhaps all of us, this will be the last night of our lives. There is so much I want to tell Ron, Hermione - everyone who stayed in this castle when the cowardly fled to Voldemort Those no one expected to remain stood firm. Malfoy, who should have taken up his station beside his father as a Death Eater, remained loyal though I will never know what motivated him to pledge his allegiance to the headmaster he had always hated. Behind his sneering mask there is a good person, willing even to save the lives of Muggle-borns and even though I cannot forgive him for what he has done in the past, I am thankful for what he is willing to do now.

I want to tell them how much I appreciate and love them for staying yet I cannot bring myself to go downstairs and see the pale faces look at me, expecting me to find some solution, to think up some plan. I cannot bear to see their desperate faces, all hope gone. Yet deep down I know that when tomorrow comes, each face will be set in grim determination to defend Hogwarts...and to avenge the loved ones we lost.

The boy looked back to the grounds, now flooded with pink and gold light, dawn approaching rapidly and the first birds twittered sleepily, seemingly unaware of the danger they accepted by remaining.

With the sunrise, muffled voices sounded downstairs, the scraping of chairs and the slow, heavy movements of people waking. The boy smiled for the first time that night and disappeared through the dormitory door, his footsteps echoing down the long spiralling staircase.

Ron and Hermione asked me to leave yesterday evening. They begged me to take the invisibility cloak and run. I loved them for the sacrifice they were willing to make. I loved them, my two best friends for wanting to give me a chance, while destroying their own. They pleaded with me, tears pouring down Hermione's face, Ron's head in his hands, holding back his own love.

Now they're staring at me, along with everyone else in the Common Room. They smile at me, all of them and, in a kind of weird unison, pull out their wands. I smile back at them gratefully though my heart still pounds with fear.

'Harry?' Ron asks, coming over, his own face pale and careworn, years of fighting suppressing his once lively and expressive face. 'You okay?'

'Harry raised and eyebrow and they both smiled at the question. It seemed stupid to ask and yet seemed so easy to answer.

'Yeah,' he replied. 'Yeah I'm okay.' The Common Room was emptying, the students gathering their things and heading to their stations around the castle, preparing for the attack. Harry looked to Hermione whose eyes were filled with anguish.

'You're staying then?' she asked as he took the slender hands she held out.

'You knew I'd never leave,' he whispered and she nodded, laughing weakly as they embraced.

'You're a great wizard Harry,' she said, echoing her own words from six years ago.

How many adventures have we shared together. Too many no doubt. Too many rules broken, too much danger endured. And now the final battle has come. The alliance is coming but they are far away Too late in coming to save us. So we face this alone. But it is stupid to say that. For we are never alone.

Mid-morning found four hundred students stationed around the castle. Everything had been planned beforehand, each student knowing their role. The teachers stood at the front gate and Harry saw McGonagall and Snape hug briefly, their house rivalry put aside at last. They refused to let the students flank the driveway, knowing those to be the first to die. Flitwick, Professor Sprout and Professor Sinistra stood resolutely on the gravel path, awaiting certain death. The whole school knew this and thanked them from the bottom of their hearts.

Harry stood with Ron, by Hagrid's hut, looking out over the desolate wasteland and the ruins of Hogsmeade, hearing the drums booming in the distance. Purple smoke rose gently from the twisted debris of the village, taking with it their last wall of defence. It wouldn't be long now.

'Potter.' Harry looked round, startled to see Malfoy next to him.

'Malfoy, you should be by you stati-'

'Hear me out Potter,' Malfoy snapped crisply, his steely eyes burning with determination. For the first time Harry felt the beginnings of respect for him.

'I'm fighting for Hogwarts Potter which means I'm fighting with you. If we don't survive this, and, quite frankly I doubt it,' Harry smiled inwardly at Malfoy's trademark skepticism. 'But if we don't, I want to settle things now.' He offered a long white hand.

'We are not all the same Harry,' he said as Harry looked at him in surprise. 'But at least we fight for the same cause.'

Harry took his hand and smiled. He watched Malfoy's retreating back before turning to Ron.

'Malfoy's right you know,' he said quietly. There's no chance we're going to come out of this alive.'

'You don't know Harry, we've got something Voldemort will never have.'

Harry looked at him expectantly. Ron smiled and looked out at the grey morning, watching the smoking remains of Hogsmeade as the drums of the enemy grew closer.

'The knowledge that we're doing what is right, not what is easy.'

'Dumbledore would be proud,' Harry admitted, grinning at his best friend.

'He would indeed,' Ron replied, equalling Harry's grin.

And just maybe, those we fought for, the generations to come, whether we win or lose will be proud of us for trying. For fighting when there was no hope left but fighting on regardless. Someone once said that was true courage - I happen to agree.