Over My Head

Over My Head

Chapter One: Wonder Boy

"Where are those angels when you need them?"-Tori Amos

I suppose I can say that it all started that night in the Astronomy Tower, but I'm not sure how much truth there is in that. I mean, if I learned anything in Hogwarts, it's that when things happen, with me anyway, there was almost always some ulterior motive that had been waiting to manifest itself for quite sometime.

But what kind of motive there could have been in this case, I'll never know.

I was having another one of those sleepless nights, due to my continuous battle with insomnia that I hadn't quite managed to win yet, when I decided that maybe seeing the stars would do me some good, and in the least, that seeing some illicit love scene which could be spread by way of rumor would make me feel better.

So up I went, and whom should I find there but the Smart One of the Scoobies. Okay, maybe I was the only one in the world who called them that, but you have to admit, it makes more sense than what Parvati had deemed them, that being "The Dream Team." I mean really, what's so dreamy about a boy wonder, a brain, and an idiot? Well, Harry and Ron both fit the qualifications of that last one, but you see my point.

And so there was Hermione, all poise and elegance, staring up at the sky in a longing, sad sort of way, like that's where she belonged, like that's where her home was. I guess since her parents' death, she had seemed a little lost...but I of course had brushed it off. She had boy wonder flamingly heterosexual git to comfort her, whereas I had my own problems. Such as not having any sidekicks or even confidants to speak of. I mean, I didn't really want any, and I'd had plenty of chances to become "miss popularity", but who in their right mind would chose that over solidarity?

I didn't want to disturb her, mostly because I could understand her desire for confinement, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to go back down. I just stood there, with only my head in plain sight, and watched her silently. Well, I watched her silently until I saw her cheek glisten as she moved her head. Damn, I thought to myself, now I have to talk to her.

"Hermione," I said, climbing the rest of the way out. "You're crying." Bravo. That was eloquent and original.

"Oh, Ginny. I didn't see you there."

"I'm small and unnoticeable. Don't worry about it."

"Yes," she replied distractedly, having not noticed that lovely subtle hint of sarcasm in my voice. "The night," she continued, once more staring into some invisible abyss, "is so...unreachable. Don't you think?"

"Sure." Late night thinking doesn't look good on you, Herm.

"It's so vast and majestic, and you're just left wondering if there's anything beyond it, you know? Like, if there's any bit of truth in the mythos of heaven. And...do you ever wonder if they can see you? If they're looking down at you right this second?"

"I might. If I knew what the hell you were talking about."

"Did your mum ever sing? Mine did. She sang me to sleep when I was a little girl. She had the most pure voice. She might have been an Angel..."

"Hermione, honey, you should go to bed. You know, Harry-"

"Harry?" I seemed to have snapped her out of her reverie. "Oh, what are you going on about him for Ginny? He isn't worth anything. You don't still have a crush on him, do you?"

"Long over it, thanks."

"Well that's good. You know, he's been talking about breaking up with Cho Chang. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Well, half the population of the school will go insane. Only in a literal sense, of course."

"Why don't you ever hang out with the other kids in your grade, Gin?" Maybe she wasn't at her sanest, but she was fairly lucid at least.

"I have a strong belief that they're agents of Satan."

"Well that's a good enough reason, I suppose." She began to stare off again, once more drawing me to her with that look of longing and those blankly desperate eyes.

"Do you miss them?" I asked quietly, hoping not to disturb her.

"Imagine, for a moment, your entire world ripped apart because your best friend decided that saving your childhood enemy was more important than your sanity." She looked at me savagely. "Now ask me that again."

"Believe me, I get it. It's just that, in polite company, I've heard that you're supposed to ask questions to which you already know that answers. And, on the off chance that it helps, although I'm sure it won't, Harry only did that because Malfoy has knowledge that we need in order to win the war."

"And we're doing an excellent job of that, aren't we? We're not winning. We're losing with pride at best. And no, it doesn't help."

"I'd say I was sorry, but I figure you have enough of that." I sat down on the wall beside her. We were unnervingly close.

"Yes. I have. Yet people seem to genuinely believe it might make things better. I mean, it was the topic of discussion for so long. For some reason, the destruction of my world was so much more important than anybody else's. And talking about it constantly was supposed to help...I just wish I could forget it for even a minute. I just wish I could have that escape."

"It seemed so important to everyone because of your closeness to Harry."

"Really? Don't you think it might have had anything to do with the way they died? The way he tortured them continuously?" Her voice cracked and the tears come harder. "The messages he wrote with their blood? The fact that he didn't put his trademark sign over my house, so that I had to see the bodies before I..." She would have continued, had I not kissed her.

I'm still not sure quite what possessed me, but apparently I'd had an unconscious yearning to do that for some time. And the thing that struck me most of all was that she didn't fight back, that her response was so immediate, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer to her, as if I might fall away from her. Then she pulled back, shocked at her own actions, yet obviously not disgusted by them.

"What are we doing?" she asked me frantically.

"We are sitting on this toothy-looking wall thing on the top of the Astronomy Tower, hoping to god that nobody comes up here."

"Oh. Well, as long as neither of us really wants anything else but..."

"Sex?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Well dear, you're in luck. That's all I want."

"Okay. Then I guess it's all right." She lunged at me again, this time pulling off my shirt before leaning into my body again.

So yeah, I'd say it started there.