Who's Pregnant?

'Ronald!' Luna called down the corridor, through the crowd of students.

Ron's ears turned pink., and he turned to wait for his girlfriend.

'Are you heading to potions?' she asked, continuing along with him.

'Err....' Ron had planned on skiving off today, but Luna wouldn't be at all pleased with that. 'Yes. Yes I am.'

'Well, could you tell Hermione that the test was positive?' Luna asked, staring at her feet.

'Wha?' Ron said incoherently. Could Hermione be pregnant?

'Just tell her that,' Luna said quickly, looking around anxiously. 'And that Ginny and I will see her at dinner.'

'Is she...you know..' Ron asked awkwardly in a whisper.

Just then, the bell rang. 'I'll see you later,' Luna concluded, pecking him on the cheek.

Ron stumbled into Potions, as if in a daze, and went over to Hermione. 'Luna says that the test was positive and she and Gin will see you at dinner,' he whispered.

'Oh my,' Hermione gasped. 'How could this happen? Did she say anything else?'

'Wouldn't say a word to me about it,' Ron grumbled as Snape swept into the room, robes billowing behind him.

'All of you, sit down,' Snape ordered them coldly. 'I just spent my lunch hour making a special potion for one of my seventh years, and I am in no mood to fool around.'

Ron gulped. She must be pregnant!

Ron spent the remainder of the class decided on who was pregnant, and who did it to her, not even focusing on what Snape was teaching.

Harry went over to Ron as they left the room, and as Hermione ran off somewhere by herself.

'Where do you reckon she's off to in such a hurry?' Harry asked as they headed out of the dungeons.

Ron knew he wasn't supposed to share what was or was not going on with Harry. 'She's your girlfriend, mate,' he said, trying to cover up his nervousness.

'Well... Yes,' Harry agreed. 'But I noticed you talking to her before class, and I just thought you might know something I don't.'

'Oh, look at the clock. We'd better hurry to Transfiguration,' Ron said, trying to change the subject.

'You do know something!' Harry shouted.

'Shh!' Ron hissed. 'I'll tell you after class.'

'It is after class,' Harry pointed out.

'The next one.'

'Damn,' Harry muttered as they headed off to Transfiguration.

*~*~*

'Tell me now!' Harry told Ron as they walked up to their dormitory.

'Not here,' Ron hissed. 'Someone will hear us.'

'No body is here,' Harry said as they entered the dormitory. They're all outisde.'

Ron nodded, avoiding Harry's gaze as he took of his robes, and sat down on the edge of his bed in his school clothes. 'Someone's pregnant. Luna said to tell Hermione that "the test was positive." ' Ron explained din a rush.

'What?!' Harry roared, loud enough for the entire school to have heard him.

Then he forced himself to be calm. 'Hang on. Snape said that he had made a potion for one of his seventh years, which means it can't be Luna, since she's in sixth year. It can't be Hermione either though, for sure,' he added meaningfully.

'But how do we even know that Snape was talking about some kind of a pregancy potion?' Ron asked. 'I mean, it could be something entirely unrelated.'

Harry did not seem to have heard him. 'And he said one of his seventh years, so it has to be someone in Slytherin-'

'Wait!' Ron said abruptly. 'You're not saying that Draco and Pansy...'

Harry laughed. 'Draco and Pansy definitely are not getting it on.'

'How do you know?' Ron said, raising and eyebrow at him.

'Well, er, I don't, well, anyhow, back to whomever's pregnant,' Harry stammered.

'Then why don't you think it's them?' Ron pressed. 'I mean, it's perfectly logical. They've been dating for nearly four years.'

'I've got to go,' Harry said, rushing out.

Ron stared out the window in a daze. All of this, and it was only Monday.

*~*~*

At dinner, Luna, Hermione, and Ginny whispered conspiratorially the whole time, and kept glancing over at Ron and Harry.

'Why do you suppose they're looking over here?' Ron asked Harry.

'I've got something to tell you Harry muttered. 'Let's go get my father's old cloak and go to the Room of Requirement.'

Ron followed Harry back to the dormitory, and then they huddled under the Invisibility Cloak and went to the Room of Requirement.

'Things aren't what they seem,' Harry told Ron.

'What do you mean?' Ron asked anxiously.

'Hermione and I aren't really dating, Ron,' Harry said.

'You-what?' Ron said, stumbling over his words.

'It's a cover so that Hermione and Draco can see each other and so I can see-' Ron interrupted him.

'Hermione and Draco?!!' Ron roared. 'What were you thinking? He's a Slytherin! His father's a Death Eater!'

'But he's not his father. And Pansy is also a Slytherin.,' Harry broke in quietly.

'What does Pansy have to do with all of this?'

'We've been going out for a while now,' Harry said quietly, smiling as he thought of her.

'Bloody hell,' Ron muttered. 'Has the world gone mad?'

'McGonagall knows, and so do Dumbledore and Snape. And well, this is going to shock you even more, but Snape isn't upset about Hermione and Draco at all.'

Ron couldn't look at Harry any longer. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

'Did you know he liked my mum?' Harry mused. 'That really explains why he hates me so much, by the way.'

'Uh-huh,' Ron muttered, his mind swirling with all the new information. 'Wait, what?!'

'Well, Snape fancied her, and since my dad got her, he hates me,' Harry explained. 'I could have been his child if things had been different. Draco has proved that the Slytherin git can rally have the girl. And, with Hermione and Draco, he sees himself as Draco and Hermione as my mum. That's why he never seemed to like Hermione. Because she reminds him too much of my mum, and how she died.'

They stood in silence momentarily before Harry continued, 'I think I might have an idea of who is pregnant. Pansy. But I can't get her alone until later tonight, and who knows if she'll come to meet me if she is pregnant.'

'I can't believe-with Pansy-ewwww...'

'Hey,' Harry said. 'I love her. The stupid bitch thing is all an act. She's really very nice, and caring, and sweet, well, she's sweet sometimes. I mean, she's just a normal witch. Anyhow... Now you know. I'm sorry we didn't tell you before.'

'Well,' Ron sighed. 'I guess it could be worse.'

'Yeah, it could be. And I'm sorry, but we need to go now, because I have to go meet Pansy at our spot,' Harry said, checking his watch.

*~*~*

'How could you keep this from me?' Ron asked Luna.

'Because I knew you would overreact, Ronald,' she told him. 'I am sorry.' She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him.

'Well, I guess it'll be okay if you give me another kiss.'

'I'll do better than that,' Luna murmured in his ear.

'We shouldn't do this,' Ron whispered in her ear.

'And when have you ever cared about what you shouldn't be doing?' she asked, pulling him towards the bed.

*~*~*

'Pansy,' Harry whispered as they passed in the corridor.

She silently followed him into a corner, where they put on the Invisibility Cloak, and then they went to the Room of Requirement.

'It's not me who's gotten knocked up,' Pansy said when the door was closed and locked.

'It's not?' Harry said confusedly. 'But then-no, not Hermione?!'

Pansy shrugged. 'I doubt it, but I haven't spoken to her or Draco the whole day, since they've been sneaking off to God-knows-where together between classes.'

'Ron will kill Draco if it's Hermione,' Harry grumbled. 'She's like a sister to him.'

'Hey, if Hermione is sleeping with Draco, it's because she wants to, not because he forces her,' Pansy said, massaging Harry's shoulders when he sat down. 'I'm betting it's Millicent, myself.'

'Who is she with nowadays?' Harry asked, tilting his head back to look at his girlfriend's face. 'I know she was with Bletchley a few years back...'

'Goyle,' Pansy shuddered.

'What's the world coming to when Goyle has a lover?'

'Who knows?' Pansy said. Then her voice changed. 'I believe we'll never know what the world is coming to until you defeat Voldemort, love.' She kissed him softly on the lips as he stood up to face her.

Harry grinned. 'I know what you mean.' Their kiss deepened.

But then Pansy pulled away for a second. 'But what if it had been me? What would you have done?'

'If you were pregnant?' Harry asked. 'I'd probably have fainted.'

Pansy looked a bit worried. 'But after you fainted? What would you have done?'

'I wouldn't have dumped you, if that's what you're asking,' Harry assured her, rubbing the small of her back comfortingly. 'I love you, and nothing will change that.'

Pansy grinned, and tackled Harry onto the bed.

*~*~*

'You do realise that everyone thinks that it's me, right?' Hermione said to Draco. They were in their common room, on the couch.

'Yes,' Draco growled. 'They all think it's you and Potter.'

Hermione sat on Draco's lap. 'Hey,' she said softly. 'You know it would be me and you.'

'Yes,' Draco said again, a grin forming on his face. 'But who is it really?'

'Probably Millicent,' Hermione said, making a face. 'Even though it should be illegal for anyone to sleep with Goyle.'

'Wow,' Draco said. 'I'm surprised I hadn't heard about them being together from him. I thought he'd brag about it.'

'And yet, everyone thinks I'm the one who's managed to get knocked up, even though I haven't slept with anyone,' Hermione complained. 'Yet,' she added, smiling mischievously at Draco.

'Yet,' Draco emphasised. 'That could change.' He did his double eyebrow raise.

'Yes it could,' Hermione said, winding her arms arounf Draco's neck.

Draco grinned again and pulled her down onto the couch with him.

*~*~*

'What?!!!' roared Goyle.

'I'm sorry,' Millicent said quietly, avoiding eye contact. 'I didn't mean for this to happen.'

'You can't have a baby!' Goyle yelled. 'How do you even know it's mine? You're probably sleeping with five other guys right now, for all I know.'

'About that...' Millicent said to her feet.

'What about it?!' Goyle demanded.

'The baby,' Millicent said quietly. 'It's not yours.'

'Then why the bloody hell are you telling me?!' Goyle roared.

'Because I love you Gregory,' Millicent cried.

'Oh, come on, Millie, don't cry,' Goyle groaned, uncomfortable at the sight of a sobbing girl. 'Come on. I was only joking.' Millicent continued to cry.

'I don't know why I even bothered,' she sobbed, covering her face. 'You obviously never have felt the same way as I do. I should have just left you out of this and talked to Blaise.'

'No!' yelled Goyle. Millicent stopped crying and turned towards him. 'I mean, it's bloody rotten luck you're pregnant, but, well, someone has to help you. What'd'you say we get amrried?'

'Married?' Millicent burst out into more tears. 'what are you thinking? We're only seventeen! Don't you even care that you're notthe father?'

'Not really,' Goyle admitted. 'Plus, it will be a lot harder for you to cheat on me.'

'Excuse me?!' Millicent screamed. 'Is that all you care about? Me cheating on you? Well, I'll have you know, I've seen you skulking off with that Ravenclaw, Padma Patil.'

Goyle laughed ogrishly. 'I never said I wouldn't cheat on you. Plus, if we're married, we can sleep in the same bed, no questions asked,' he growled, pulling her roughly to him.

'Get off of me, you great baboon!' Millicent yelled wrenching herself out of his grip. 'If all you can think about is sex, then I'm glad I'm having Blaise's baby, not yours!'

'Well, fine then! See if he wants you after he finds out you shagged me,' Goyle taunted, and left the room.

Millicent smiled. 'Well, that's one way to break up with a boy.'

*~*~*

The next night, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Pansy, Luna, and Ginny all met in the Room of Requirement to talk about who could possibly be pregnant.

'It's not Millicent,' Pansy said. 'Talked to her this morning. It was part of a rather brilliant scheme to break up with Goyle.'

Luna, Ginny, and Hermione remained silent.

Ginny started to speak, but Draco cut across her. 'Hermione and I have an announcement to make,' he said, grinning broadly. He laced his fingers through Hermione's.

Everyone stopped and stared at them. Ron looked like he was ready to pounce, while Ginny and Luna merely smiled. Harry and Pansy, on the other hand, were indifferent.

'We're going to get married!' Hermione said proudly, somehow ending up seated on Draco, with her arms around his neck.

'Married?' Harry and Ron gawped.

'Yes,' Draco assured them. 'We're going to be married.' He looked absolutely delighted and couldn't stop kissing Hermione at sudden intervals.

'I found out about that potion Snape made, by the way,' Ron said to draw Draco's attention away from trying to snog Hermione senseless. 'Nott got his thing cut off by some girl when he tried to do something to her,' he smiled.

'Then what was all the hubbub about a test being positive?' Harry blurted out unexpectedly.

'I'm pregnant,' Ginny said, looking him straight in the eye.

'What?!!!' Ron roared, loud enough for the entire school and Hogsmeade Village itself to have heard.

'Who's the father?' Harry asked rationally.

Luna, who had remained silent throughout the entire conversation, burst out laughing uncontrollably.

'Hey! It's not amusing. Neville has grown up quite a bit since-' Ron cut Ginny off.

'Neville Longbottom!?' Ron bellowed louder even then before. 'I'm gonna kill him!'

'Don't even try it, Ronald Weasley!' Ginny ordered. 'I love him, and he loves me, and we're going to get married. I'm not really pregnant. I just figured that you would be less angry if at first you thought I was pregnant, and it ended up being a lot less worse for you,' Ginny explained. 'Luna and Hermione were in on it with the whole "test" thing.'

'So, let me get this straight,' Ron said, taking a deep breath. 'You're not pregnant, you've been dating Neville, and you want to get married?'

'Yep!' Ginny said. 'It could be worse, Ron, I could have decided to stick with Blaise Zabini.' Ron looked about to explode. 'Just kidding,' Ginny laughed. 'I've been with Neville for a while now, and never with anyone else.'

'Is there anyone else who has some secret romance going on that I don't know about?' Ron asked the group collectively.

Everyone shook their heads.

'Come on, Ronald,' Luna said gently, 'Let's just go.'

Ron, who was too exhausted to argue, followed her. 'It's been a long two days,' he told her. 'But I'm glad to be with you.'

*~*~*

And one can only guess who was truly pregnant.

*~*~*