Kryptonite

Kryptonite
by Weaver

~because I love Sirius~

Kryptonite is copyright 2000 Universal Records, performed by 3 Doors Down. Harry Potter and all related concepts etc. belong to J. K. Rowling and Warner Bros., Inc. Sirius Black's heart belongs to me...

***

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time

Memories were hard for Sirius, sitting bleak and alone in a tiny cell, isolated from the rest of the world and from everything he'd ever held dear. He stared out of the tiny window and saw only the ever-present fog, a dirty grey veil that hid the sky and the sun and the stars.

Inside his head, the memories went round and round like an out-of-control carousel at a fun fair.

Himself, James, laughing together as Snape tripped over his own shoelaces for the seventh time that day...

Himself and James, laughing together at some stupid remark...

Himself and James, soaring over the darkened castle with the wind in their hair and the moon behind them, laughing ...

Himself and James, huddling together in that lonely grey moor, spread with the rubble of the only home James had ever known, and James wasn't laughing, would never laugh again, lay cold and pale and fair in Sirius' desperate grasp...

Memories were hard, but far easier for Sirius than staying in his body in the dank grey stones of Azkaban.

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there's nothing I can do...

"...And so, ladies and gentlemen, I must ask you to join with me in fighting the Dark Lord with all our energy, all our effort, all our resources. I cannot stress enough the dangers of letting our world, life as we know it, float away to the Dark Side. We need you all. Each and every wizard committed to the Light must put their every thought and deed into destroying this creeping, insidious evil..."

Sirius frowned, turning to James. "He's not half serious, is he?" he hissed. "Sounds like we'll all be destroyed tomorrow if we don't do what he asks!"

James cast a half-glance at Sirius. Beneath his dark hair his face was pale and determined. "We might," was all he said, but there was steel in his voice that had never been there before. Sirius supposed he'd heard this before in his work with Dumbledore and knew how serious it was.

"Why won't they tell us how bad it is?" he muttered. "It's got to be desperate or he wouldn't ask, but why won't they tell us statistics?"

James turned to him. "Padfoot, if he told the crowd how bad it is, they'd give up and die. We have no chance." Sirius stared at his friend, at the dark eyes glinting with strength and purpose ... beneath a sheen of desperation and despair. James continued "Unless there's some miracle, we are going to die, all of us."

"I - had no idea it was that serious," Sirius whispered, dazed by the sheer finality in James' words. "So why are we fighting at all - why aren't we evacuating?"

James shushed him, shaking his head in the special gesture that meant in their friendship I'll tell you later.

They both turned their attention back to Dumbledore, who was, Sirius noticed, distinctly older-looking than he had been only a few years ago.

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you

The small table was well-lit by candles floating in mid-air, much like the Hogwarts Great Hall. Sirius watched the flames flickering idly, wishing he was back at his own flat and not on the run from Voldemort in this dodgy little safe-house. Apparently somebody was supposed to come soon and tell him where his regiment would be attacking next, but he was on his own until then, and that could be in an hour or in ten, or not till the next day.

He wondered if James was still safe. Voldemort had made it plain after Harry was born that he wanted both the male Potters dead at any price, but James and Lily hadn't done anything much that he could see. They were thinking of a Fidelius Charm, but the earliest they could get the materials for that would be several months away. I won't be happy until they're safe, Sirius mused, knowing that the collapse of his once-peaceful universe was mostly due to the danger his friends were in.

And then there was that crazy rumour... James was working for Voldemort. Sirius had laughed the first time he heard it - now it just made him angry. The last person to repeat the rumour in Sirius' presence had left with a broken nose... since it was Snape, Sirius didn't regret it at all. Could it be true, though? Could James... no. No, it wasn't possible, not James, not his best friend since he was five. It just wasn't possible.

But James has been acting oddly lately, I have to admit it. What if he - but what about Lily, and little Harry? He wouldn't...

Merlin's Beard! What am I supposed to think? James... why am I even believing this? I know James better than anyone else alive, except maybe Lil, and he wouldn't do that.

Sirius rubbed his head, shaking the cobwebs out, and stood up and stretched. Just because the whole world seems to be going to the dark side, doesn't mean it's anything to to with you... is it James?

He shook his long hair out of its tight tie and started pacing around the room, worried deeply.

I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

"Aah - Professor Dumbledore, sir, I have a question..."

"Please, Sirius, call me Albus. You are no longer a schoolboy." Dumbledore's mouth quirked in a smile.

"Okay, uh - Albus. That rumour - I mean - do you know what's going on with James and Lily?"

"That question is exactly why I've called you here, Sirius. Voldemort has practically won, here in Europe - we have very little fight left in us. The Aurors, James, Lily, Angel, and you are our strongest remaining hopes, and Voldemort is desperate to get James out of the way."

"Why, though? Why James... why not me, or Peter, or Remus? Why not any of the Aurors?"

Dumbledore sighed, looking older again. "Remus is not considered much of a threat because of his - ah - lycanthropic predicament. Peter is - Peter has not been the same since the death of his wife; I fear he never will be again. James, though, and Harry - there is a very old prophecy regarding them. You know the Potters are the oldest wizarding family in recorded history?"

Sirius shook his head. "James never said anything..."

"He wouldn't," Dumbledore smiled. "But the story is that a Potter will bring light into the world's darkest hour - which is now, as far as anyone knows. If it's any later, it'll take a miracle to change anything. The problem is that over the millenia, a lot of family records have been lost, or altered, or changed - and the upshot is that no-one now knows whether it will be James or Harry - or some as yet unborn child. We'd best hope that that last isn't the case, though, because another decade of this war will ruin all the world."

Sirius frowned. "I don't think that's all." He gave Dumbledore his best stare. "There's something you're not telling me."

Dumbledore offered him a weary smile. "There is. Please, Sirius, trust me - I cannot tell you what it is. All you need to know is that James is in a lot of danger, and we are doing everything we possibly can to get him out of it. This is the plan at the moment..."

As the old wizard outlined Sirius's part in the plan, Sirius turned his attention back to his duty. James will tell me eventually. After all, I'm his best friend.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite...

Godric's Hollow lay before him, wide and open and peacefully spread across the green hills beneath him like a picnic cloth. Sirius stopped his motorbike in midair, wondering if he'd been an idiot to come here. There's probably some easy explanation, maybe Peter was visiting them. He turned slowly, trying to dispel the nagging sense of impending disaster that lurked in the back of his mind.

Behind him, the still night air was shattered by a scream.

Sirius jerked the bike around, swearing at the sluggardness of the engine and scanning the land frantically. James and Lily lived on the very edge of town, almost the furthest possible point from where Sirius hovered, and he flung himself forward with all his might.

He heard yells, in James' voice, harsh with urgency and fear -- and then the sky split open, brilliant green light cracking the darkness apart. There was silence, broken only by the silent screaming inside Sirius's head. Then he was close enough to realise that Lily was screaming too, close enough to hear Lily weeping...

Sound travels a long way at night, part of his brain thought irrelevantly. I should tell James that tomorrow.

He flung the bike into a steep dive, only a few hundred metres from the house -- which, he now saw, looked as though some giant had stepped on it and then scooped up the rubble to sprinkle across the lawn. He could see half of the staircase lying in the road.

He was blinded again, diving off the bike only metres away from the house, by another terrible flash of green light cutting across his eyesight. He hit the ground and rolled, leaped for the half of the staircase remaining -- James will be angry if I don't make it in time -- and threw himself through the door at the top. The air was icy cold; goosebumps pricked along his arms.

"Paffoo," Harry said, in his clear child's voice, sounding on the edge of tears. "Mum, Dah, Paffoo!"

Sirius bolted for the door at the end of the hall. It was hanging loosely, half off its hinges, and as he dived through it he thought for a second he'd run into a brick wall -- a moving force, impenetrable, that flung him backwards and away.

Dumbledore jerked upright, and Sirius blinked... why was he in Dumbledore's office? The Headmaster looked tired, but horrified. "James!" he gasped, and the giant man sitting opposite him looked up, concerned.

"Wha's wrong, Headmaster?"

"Hagrid --" Dumbledore looked at a loss, and Sirius almost giggled at the oddity of that -- Dumbledore at a loss? Impossible -- except that there was something hovering in the back of his mind that told him he should be somewhere, and he didn't want to laugh, he didn't want to waste time.

Then he jumped backwards through space, and he was lying on his back in James's front yard, and the stars were wheeling slowly over his head.

All eternity stretched out above him. Dazedly, he watched Orion striding mightily across the sky, and it seemed to him that the constellation reached down and whispered in his ear, telling him Your life is over, Sirius, you can't follow the stars in your eyes any more...

And somewhere, not too far away, a baby cried.

You called me strong, you called me weak, but still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down

"Sirius, I have a favour to ask... a really really big one..."

Sirius looked up, and grinned. James was standing with his hands twisted together, like he always did when he was nervouse, and Lily was blinking at him with her most appealing expression. Harry, held in her arms, was drooling, which ruined the effect a little. "Yes, Prongs and Prongess, I'll be your Secret-Keeper."

James's jaw dropped, quite comically. Lily just laughed. "He has you all figured out, Jimmy-boy."

"I do that," Sirius said gleefully. "I hope you've already told Dumbledore?"

"Well -- yes," James said, looking less gormless with his mouth shut. "I knew you would want to."

"I would have killed you if you'd suggested anyone else. At least I can actually do something for you two this way."

Harry writhed his way out of Lily's arms and Sirius reached out to catch him. "Paff," the baby said emphatically, and drooled on Sirius' arm.

"Yes, yes, Paff's here," Sirius said, laughing. "Paff'll always be here."

You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

Sleeping curled up in yet another safe-house, James looked sweet, harmless and innocent. Sirius thought he hadn't looked that young since he was thirteen - since the first girl had died victim to Voldemort. During the last month, he'd scarcely seen James smile, hadn't seen him laugh at all.

A sound outside the window jerked his mind back to the present; something had moved, darkly, near the hedge. Sirius stiffened, watching anxiously from his chair by the window, easing his wand into his hand.

Sure enough, a hooded figure straightened up, looking around. Sirius's sharp eyes caught two, no, three more cloaked men situated around the gardens.

Taking care to appear unconcerned, he rose and stretched, then switched off the lights. Under cover of the darkness he activated the seven defense charms around the cottage, booted James awake and dropped into a fighting stance, ready for the intruders.

James knew the routine. After nearly a month of working closely together on all kinds of assignments, they had a few things down pat, and one of them was the "Death Eater Alert" drill. Sirius threw him his travel cloak and his belt; James hurriedly pulled on his boots. They had nothing else of value with them, although Sirius thought regretfully about the food stored in the cupboard - they couldn't tell when their next meal would be, but they didn't have time now.

The silence grew more oppressive. The two men exchanged a brief glance - one that said, Well, here we go again, and many more things that couldn't be expressed in words: about friendship, and resignation, and reassurance, and trust. Then the door crashed open.

James brought down the first man through it with a chair to the head. As he went down, the curses began flying. Sirius ducked and dodged desperately, firing back at random, edging around the walls as the Death Eaters piled into the tiny cottage. Confusion reigned supreme for several seconds, with jets of light flying every which way and hooded figures seeming everywhere.

"Ignis," Sirius heard over the commotion, and a tiny flame leaped out of a wand to set the east wall of the cottage alight. He swore and ducked away from the licking flames, already smelling scorching wood.

The fire had one good effect: it lit up the room, enough for Sirius to see where the remaining Death Eaters were. The one James had hit was rubbing his head dazedly; no threat, Sirius judged. James was fighting hand-to-hand with another, both of their wands having been lost. One was apparently still outside; the last had his wand aimed directly at Sirius's heart.

Shit! He dived aside, the vicious "Scipio" curse only grazing his arm -- he felt a rush of blood down his hand, but ignored it. The Death Eater still had him at wandpoint, though.

"So. Sirius Black, eh? Our Master will be pleased when we turn you in," the man sneered. Sirius, trying desperately to grasp his wand in fingers slippery with blood, ignored him. The Death Eater stepped forward and poked his wand directly into Sirius's throat, backing him up against the wall. On the other side of the cottage the man James was fighting had been joined by another; Sirius didn't think his friend could last for long against them both. He closed his eyes briefly, allowing the Death Eater to think him defeated.

The man wasn't stupid, though, and didn't cease pushing his wand into the hollow of Sirius's throat, pressing into his windpipe.

"All right, what do you want?" Sirius choked out bitterly, trying to get a better grasp on the wand dangling loosely from his left hand. "Why aren't I dead yet?"

"Because you know him," the Death Eater said, jerking his head towards James. "And we want him."

One of the Death Eaters fighting James got a hold on his neck and slammed him into the wall. The one with his wand on Sirius glanced over his shoulder for a second: that second was all Sirius needed. Thank God for Dumbledore's training. He swung his leg around in a crescent kick, knocking the man's wand from his hand, and used his momentum to launch a roundhouse punch at the Death Eater's jaw. The man staggered back, dazed, and Sirius switched his wand into his right hand, the one not slick with his own blood, and Stunned the man.

The flames licking at the edges of the room were bigger now, with one wall completely alight. James had taken down one of his opponents, but now lay unconscious on the floor - the last Death Eater stood triumphantly over him.

Sirius Stunned him before he knew what was going on. James moaned, blinked, and staggered to his feet, lurching drunkenly through the smoke-filled room towards the door.

Sirius glanced around the burning room, wondering whether to just let the Death Eaters burn where they lay. He was very tempted to leave them to fry, but something in him wouldn't let him do it. Reluctantly, he cast a Smothering Charm over the flames and waited to see them dwindle to flickering coals before he left the building.

James was sitting in the garden, his face swelling up; he looked pretty thoroughly beaten up. Sirius used the few med-charms he knew to ease the swelling and splint James's broken arm; the rest would have to wait till they could get back to base and to the mediwizard there.

"Thanks," James mumbled through swollen lips. "You saved my life."

"Hey," Sirius said. "That's what I'm here for, remember?"

"'Kay. Jus' make sure you're always 'round when I need savin'."

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite...

Rocking back and forwards, not noticing the glass he knelt on or the blood making his face slippery, holding James. Holding his best friend, his brother, who he'd grown up beside, who he'd watched grow up, who was now lifeless and limp and whose eyes stared sightlessly at the sky...

I remember once before I thought you were dead, Prongs, Sirius said silently. You were dragged underwater by a kelpie, and when I got to you you were white and cold just like now. But you came back, you always do. Hurry up, hurry up and come back, Prongs, because I need you to help me clean up this mess.

Nothing happened. The stars laughed at him, and the harsh black vault of the sky reflected everything back at him and gave him nothing.

If I hold you tight enough, if I'm strong enough I can keep you here, keep you by my side... Alone under that boundless sky, he wept.

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite...

Alone, utterly alone, he sat huddled in the corner, and remembered.

***