Call to Destiny

Chapter 26

Divine Punishment

"You're beautiful."

The words shook Ginny out of her dreamy daze. She had been nestled comfortably in Draco's arms, sleep getting the better of her, but now she frowned up at him. The expression on his face was...wondering? No, Ginny reasoned, that couldn't be it.

"What did you say?" she asked.

A corner of his lips twitched up into a smirk - he was amused, at her expense. "I said that you're beautiful."

Ginny closed her eyes and shook her head, smiling. "Liar."

"You think I'd lie at a time like this?"

The tone of Draco's voice was different; soft, somehow. She opened her eyes and she swore her heart stopped.

She had called Draco a fallen angel time and time again (in her thoughts, at least), but she now realized how wrong she'd been then. The early morning sunshine crept in through the window behind him, turning his white-gold hair into a burning halo, while the softest sadness emanated from his eyes, his smile just as sorrowful. She reached a hand up to cup his face, and he let her.

The events of the day (and night) before had swept away what crumbling barriers remained between them, first by loss, then by a desperate need. It seemed that Draco had needed to cling to Ginny as the darkest waves of every child's worst nightmare rolled over him just as much as she wanted to protect him from that darkness. She was an ant amid the gale storm he was experiencing, but she'd be damned if she didn't try.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"Because I'm going to lose you."

He said it simply, softly, as naturally as an autumn leaf falling to the ground. Twenty four hours ago, Ginny would have expected her stomach to cave in on itself at those words, followed shortly thereafter by her heart and everything else. Now, the subtly glittering instinct she'd begun to recognize as her Phoenix self accepted Draco's words as undeniable fact. He would lose her and she would lose him, just as it had always been, just as it was written.

She nodded and curled into him. The heat of his body was reassuring, and she knew that she wouldn't have it for too much longer. The dam that was holding the War back was starting to crack. Soon it would break, and the raging force that came would sweep them all away.

A knock on Draco's door tore at her heart. She wasn't ready to let him go just yet. He kissed the top of her head and got out of bed.

"Stay here," he told her, pulling on a pair of discarded jeans.

She sat up, clutching the bed linens to her chest, and watched him make his way toward the door. At the threshold he paused and looked back at her. Something in her expression must have broken him, because he darted back to her and kissed her forcefully, his hands on either side of her face.

"I'll be right back," he said and disappeared into his common room, shutting the door with a click behind him.

Ginny looked around the room calmly. Draco's closet was open, revealing the rainbow of dark green, black, and grey inside it, and some books were laying on various surfaces of the room. It was a neat room, all in all. She snorted. She had just had sex with Draco Malfoy. Several times. She was fairly certain she was in love with Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy, who was now Lord Malfoy, as his father had been killed, while her twin brothers were in St. Mungo's, possibly dying, as well. And she was sitting here thinking about the tidiness of the room.

She sighed and got out of bed, pulling the sheet with her. The red and gold feathered part of her mind told her that what she was doing was normal, necessary, in fact. Focusing on the small things was just as important as focusing on the big things; the small things were what kept you sane.

She picked up her final shoe, lying by the doorframe, and paused to listen.

"I know."

The calm voice was Draco's.

"And that doesn't scare you?"

The disbelieving tone was unmistakably Pansy Parkinson. Ginny knew she'd never grow to love, or even tolerate, the girl, but she knew she was Draco's oldest friend, and therefore she deserved at least a modicum of respect.

Draco sighed heavily. "My being afraid will somehow help matters?"

Pansy was silent, but Ginny could nearly feel the anger radiating off her. Finally, she sighed.

"Are you going to do anything?"

Ginny was surprised to hear the pleading quality in Pansy's voice.

"I'm going to see what happens. You know that as well as I do, Pansy," Ginny could hear the teasing smile in Draco's voice. "'Listen before you speak, watch before you act, and never do anything which would bring shame upon your family.'"

Pansy snorted. "They've done a fine job of the latter."

Draco didn't say anything in return.

"Draco?" Her voice was farther away. Ginny suspected she was leaving. "I'm sorry about your father."

The silence stretched for so long that Ginny didn't think he was going to answer. Her hand was on the door knob when he spoke.

"Me, too."

The click of Pansy's heels grew fainter and Ginny opened the door, not really caring if the Slytherin witch was still in the room or not.

Draco was sitting on the couch, head in his hands. He didn't look up as she sat down beside him.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"How much did you hear?" He knew she'd been eavesdropping, but he didn't seem angry.

"Just the last part," Ginny answered honestly. "Why was Parkinson asking you if you were afraid?"

Draco sighed and leaned back into the couch, throwing his head back against it. He didn't look scared, or angry, or upset, or any of the proper things one should be feeling when one's parent dies. Draco just looked tired.

"Since my father is dead, the Dark Lord has new plans for me."

He said it without emotion. The words "my father is dead" fell from his lips as easily as "it's raining outside." Ginny didn't know much about grief, but either Draco had fast forwarded through the five stages and was currently embracing acceptance, or he was holding the emotions captive just beneath the surface, and she was willing to bet her broom that Draco had not taken the healthy route. It stung just a little to know that he wouldn't let even her see the emotions. Or maybe he was just so used to it that he didn't know how to turn it off.

"He expects me to take my father's place."

Ginny frowned. Draco's words were not what disturbed her, but rather his tone. It was...measured. And just like that, Draco's plan dawned on her.

"No!" Ginny exclaimed, leaping to her feet. "Draco - I...no!"

Draco leaned forward, his mouth set in a grim line. He was clearly not going to say anything.

"Draco!" Ginny gaped at him. "I - no! You can't do that! You - you - no!"

"Why not?" Draco's voice brokered no argument.

"Because!" Ginny continued to argue. "It's suicidal!"

Draco snorted with laughter and Ginny stared.

"You think this is funny?" she asked shrilly.

"Quite," Draco muttered, standing up. "Ginny, I'm not going to survive the War. I don't see whether sooner or later makes a difference."

"It bloody well does make a difference!"

She was so furious she was seeing red. It may have been her hair in her eyes, but that hardly mattered. Draco was willing to throw his life away because of - because of - Ginny realized she didn't know why Draco was suddenly insistent on meeting Lady Death, which only spurned her anger further.

"What, are you suddenly ready to lay down your life for the Light out of some misplaced nobility?" Ginny spat the last word. "Or have you just decided that it really doesn't matter anymore and kicking off now will save you a lot of worry?"

The look he gave her was one of cold fury.

"Have you even considered the notion that I may not be as...supportive of the Light as you are?" Draco sneered. "That perhaps this entire time I've been fooling you? Waiting for you to fall into my trap, so that then I can bring you and all the other Warriors straight to the Dark Lord, leaving him free to kill Potter?"

Ginny was shocked into silence. Draco took a menacing step towards her, and Ginny unconsciously took one back. Draco smirked and took another step forward. Ginny stepped back.

"Do you see? Instinctively, you know not to trust me. But for some reason known only to stupid Gryffindors, you've decided to do so."

He stopped suddenly. "Why?"

For a moment, Ginny seriously thought about the question, until the answer nearly blinded her. The fright that had gripped her moments before broke like shattered crystal.

"Because currently, you're lying," she said.

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do, Draco. We're Warriors above all else. No emotion, no obligation, and no suicidal plan to act as a double agent will ever win out over your nature as the Dragon. And part of that includes never hurting...us." She'd been about to say "me," but changed the syllable at the last moment.

Draco's eyes were fixed on the bookshelf to her right.

"That's not entirely true," he said to it. "I've betrayed the others before."

Ginny balked, visions of the other Warriors being attacked by Death Eaters running through her mind.

"No," Draco said softly, looking at her again, but he did not seem to be seeing her. "Before."

Ginny took a step towards him, wondering what he was seeing just beyond her. "Draco..."

He blinked and stared at her for a moment, as though he couldn't remember what they'd just been discussing.

"Draco," she said again. "Are you alright?"

He shook his head. "I have to do it, Ginny."

Her heart sank. She knew that he was going to do what he thought was right, all else be damned, including his life.

"There's a difference," she said after a pause. "There's a difference to me between sooner and later."

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Ginny said softly, looking him in the eye.

Draco looked down at the floor, cleared his throat, then looked back up.

"Pansy came to tell me that my mother was waiting for me. I'm Flooing home today."

Ginny nodded, having figured something of the sort. "When will you be back?"

Draco paused. "Winter holidays start in a week. I most likely won't be back."

It took a moment for Ginny to build up the courage to ask the question that seemed to be holding her hostage.

"Will you be back at all?"

There was long pause before Draco answered.

"I don't know."

Ginny nodded and took a deep breath. She felt Draco wrap his arms around her and she leaned into the embrace, cherishing the last one for an indeterminate length of time. She had not gone more than a week without Draco since July. She wrapped her arms tighter around him.

"Why does this feel like divine punishment?" she mumbled into his shoulder.

She felt Draco snort. "Because it is."

Ginny looked up at him in confusion. He shook his head. "Ask Jones."

She decided the matter was lacking in importance and reached up to kiss him. Slow, lingering, and gentle. They had their fair share of passionate kisses, and when you kiss someone to remember it, the kiss isn't interrupted by gasps and moans. Ginny kissed Draco like she would never do so again and he seemed to be doing the same.

When she finally pulled away, she nearly decided to let the world resolve its own problems, while she stayed there, firmly attached to Draco. Instead, she just leaned her forehead against his. He smiled his fallen-angel smile.

"I'm losing you," he said softly.

Tears choked Ginny's voice and clouded her vision. She closed her eyes and did her best to compose herself.

"Not really," she managed to whisper croakily. "Technically, you're stuck with me for eternity."

Draco chuckled softly and kissed her one last time. "Thank all the gods."

Ginny disentangled herself from Draco, not trusting herself to not cry. She looked up at him once, tried to smile, and said goodbye.

Well, she tried to say goodbye. What came out instead was "I love you."

Draco opened his mouth to say something, but the tears were coming too strongly. Ginny turned and bolted out of the Head Boy's rooms and straight to her own. There, she collapsed in her armchair until she cried herself to sleep; only waking up hours later when Cassie brought her a cup of tea.