Recycled Pain

Remus POV:

'I need to talk to you, Remus.'

Sirius needs to talk.

When has he ever not? I voice this question, and he tugs my arm again, so I start following him. Up stairs, along corridors, past paintings, and classrooms, and around a corner to the entrance to the Honeydukes passage. Sirius releases my arm long enough to check the Marauders' Map and open the passage, then takes hold of it once more to drag me inside.

When the Witch has slid back into place, there's no more light, and I can feel his breath hot and moist on my cheek.

'Well,' I say lightly, pulling out my wand. 'You certainly didn't want anyone overhearing this. Lumos.'

In the soft glow from my wand, Sirius looks a little nervous, and I lower it, letting both of us sink back into the shadows.

He clears his throat, in what I presume is embarrassment, but doesn't move back. I'm starting to get an idea what this is all about. When his hand drifts up to stroke my neck lightly, before settling with his thumb on my collarbone, I know.

'Moony ...' he shakes his head irritably. 'Remus ... I'm in love with you.'

There it is, then.

'I have been forever, I think.'

And I find I haven't got it in me to crush his dreams. My choice is closed to me now, and I can't let Sirius suffer like that. I love him, and I want him in my life, and if this is how he wants me in his, so be it. I am, after all, supremely used to hiding myself from others.

'I love you too, Sirius.'

Then he's moving closer, and he's on me, and in me, murmuring declarations and assurances, but even as he's pushing inside with a groan, my thoughts are on the other one. My real mate.

After, he goes sprinting off to tell Lily, James and Peter the news. I'm left next to the statue, wondering why I'm not fighting to keep my composure. Logically, I ought to be falling to pieces now, oughtn't I? All I feel is calm, though. A little hungry, maybe, and I find myself heading towards the kitchens.

I wonder if James recalls our little conversation by the lake, a few months ago. Somehow I doubt it.

Tickling the pear, I step though the doorway and wait to be noticed. The house elves jump up, as eager as ever to help, and soon I'm loaded down with far more food than I could possibly finish, even the morning after a full moon. Luckily Sirius left the Map with me, so I locate the other four quickly, and bring the feast out to where they're sitting. Under the willow James found me in.

It's a lovely day, clear and warm, with just enough of a breeze to keep you awake. They're laughing and lounging around, and James yells when he sees me.

'Knew you'd come to your senses, Moony!'

I smile politely and send the food floating over to the centre of the circle, where everyone promptly falls upon it as though they haven't been fed all day. Even Lily, which is always a slight shock to see.

Peter POV:

Remus and ... Sirius? Where does that leave me?

I mean, I knew they had something extra, it was obvious right from the moment they laid eyes on each other at the first year sorting feast. Even from across the room I could see that something was happening, I just ... in love? And me? The spare wheel with the spare tyre. Short, fat, and alone. With James and Lily, and now Sirius and Remus rubbing my face in the fact that I have no one. It's not fair!