Dean's Little Secrets

Dean's Little Secrets

Having shared my dorm with guys for the past five years, you see many things. Some are funny and some are pretty damn stupid. But the ones that are most memorable are the ones when your dorm mates think you're not looking, but you secretly are. Anyway...here's a little story on the get ups of Harry and Ron when they thought nobody was watching.

September 14^th 1992

Harry's just entered the room with loads of sweets and a few magazines. I can't see the titles, but they're mostly pink. And damn, Harry's just shut the curtains on Ron's bed. So here's a rough dialogue between him and Ron:

"Yeah! You brought them! How on earth did you manage that?" Judging by the voice I could tell it was Ron.

"Well...I dunno really. But Hedwig sort of flew in there and took them all. And seeing as she's an owl she can easily go into the girls' dorms." Harry and Ron squealed with delight. Yes, they actually squeal.

"What's this about? Oh my God Harry! They're nude ones, and they actually belong to a girl! I wonder who it might be..."

"I think there's a name here somewhere. On no, it's Parvati's!" They both giggle like mad. God, how annoying.

"Oi...don't hog all the bon-bons!" Bon-bons?

"Here's one that tells you how to magic your hair blonde. I wonder if Draco knows about this?" Since when did Harry start calling Malfoy 'Draco'?

"Ooh! I know you fancy him Harry. Just tell him and get it over and done with it already." Well, seeing as it's turned all quiet, I assume that Harry's blushing. I wonder what that looks like.

"Yeah, then you have to tell Snape that you dream of him every single night!" WHAT?! Oh the horror...Ginger and black hair clash so badly! Maroon and blue however is a different matter. I'll just leave them to it...them and their girly conversations. Honestly.

May 02^nd 1993

Harry's just come back from a Quidditch match. Ron's striding behind him and he grabs Harry by the shoulder, swinging him round. Ron kisses Harry and Harry just pushes him onto the bed.

"What was that for?" Yeah, I wanna know and all.

"Harry I thought you loved me."

"What?! No bloody way would I love someone like you!" Me neither come to think of it.

"But last night. Last night you said that you loved me and you always had."

"Must've been in your dreams mate. I'm going to sleep."

Something tells me that Ron isn't willing to give up that easily. And yep just as I expected. Ron jumps on Harry and smothers him with kisses. Good God that is disgusting! You'd think that I'd go away...but this is fun! Harry wallops Ron with his wand in the nether region. Ouch, that must hurt. How insisting is he? He won't give up on Harry even with the pain. I think Harry's getting pretty annoyed now. OH MAN! That blue-mark will last for years! Seriously...

"DEAN?! How can that happen? This is all a figment of your imagination isn't it?"

"No, babe I swear! It's all true. And you do want pay-back for what they did to you and Hermione don't you?"

"But did they really steal magazines from Parvati?"

"Yeah they did," Dean said, trying to stifle the eagerness of saying what other magazine he found them reading. Unluckily Ginny understood his facial expressions too well.

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Dean said innocently.

"Dean, if you don't tell me, I'll wallop you in the nether region."

"It's just that they took a magazine from you as well."

Ginny had an inkling feeling of what that might've been. "Did it have anything to do with Harry?"

Dean was ready to burst but restrained himself at the look of his girl friend's face. "Yes. It was the one from your third year. You know when Rita Skeeter wrote about how Harry's life was torn apart...you know which I mean. Is it true that you drew loads of hearts around his face and filled it with lipstick-lips on it?"

"Yeah...but I love you remember?"

"You do, don't you. 'Oh Dean...please stop'."

"Shut up," Ginny said teasingly.

"AH HA! Caught you red-handed you sick bastard! You thought nobody was looking, eh? Well too bad you Peeping-Tom! Because you're about to get your fair share of fun now!"

As this fic is not suitable for the eyes of young ones, I cannot go into full detail on what Ron and Harry did to Dean. All I can say is that Dean will live and no lasting injuries were sustained. However, if Dean thinks he'll ever have kids, he can forget about it.

Thank you for reading this fic and I hope I haven't destroyed your sanity