Don't Fall Away

Memories are just where you leave them...

Draco Malfoy often wondered what had happened to Hermione Granger. She was the love of his life, but they had quietly slipped from each other one day, without really noticing that the other was gone. Or so it seemed. He had put on a facade, woke up every morning and faced each day with the same smirk on his face, his arrogance always apparent in his swagger. But the truth was, he missed the hell out of her. He thought about the girl all the time. The answer was so simple as to why; she was the girl. The one, the only girl for him. But after Hogwarts, there was no more Draco and Hermione. It made him sick to think of who she might be with now, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. So, he pulled on his Malfoy face, walked past her with his head held high, and lived with the fact that she had been the one to leave the memories behind. And now it was time for the reunion. Five long years since Hogwarts. He wondered if she would be there.

Dragging the waters, till the depths give up their dead...

Hermione never forgot the way she felt about Draco, but she forced herself to let go of the ggod times they had had together. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, in the stillness of cool air, she awoke with a longing so deep, she forced the memories out of the dead place in her heart, and resurrected him into what he had once been; a loving person who spent most of his time dreaming up fluffy ideas of their future together. Oh, she had loved it, but even so, she felt pressured and rushed, and she always made it clear that that was not what she wanted. He didn’t fit her idea of being happy, raising a family, and growing old together. How hurt he had been by those words she spoke! But now, time enough had passed for her to realize that she had been the one to give up on love. There was nothing wrong with him, it was her foolishness that kept them both from being happy. And she was alone, probably always would be. She was dressed and ready to attend the class of 1998's Five Year Reunion.

What did you expect to find? Was it something you left behind?

Draco found himself alone with Hermione for the first time in along time. He had gone to the old Arithmancy classroom for nostalgic reasons. After all, this was where he had fallen in love with the girl he still wanted. Unbeknownst to him, she had followed him through the castle to this very room. She needed to talk to him alone. She felt the same pangs as he did in the old classroom, but she didn’t know they were the same feelings he had as well. Hermione knew this may be her only chance to beg forgiveness, to try and change his mind, to make it all alright again. But he couldn’t let it go that easily. She had broken his heart to a point almost beyond repair. He was going to have to do some serious thinking to decide whether he was willing to try again, and possibly face that sort of pain once more. He knew that if she subjected him to that, his heart would probably be so damaged, he would never love anything about life again. So he turned his head, and shut out her words, as much as it killed him to do so.

Don’t you remember anything I said when I said

Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself

Don’t fall away, and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again.

Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands

Love lies bleeding

His silence cut right through her. She should never have deserted him. His soul had only become complete when she was with him. He needed her, needed her beyond all reasoning. She had kept him alive during all the trials of the Dark Days, when the most evil wizards had become powerful as gods, and defying his father had cursed on him a spell that didn’t quite have a definition. The spell was loneliness. It had made him believe that no one loved him, and no one ever would. His father hadn’t inflicted this spell on him during the time he ruled as a fallen angel to Lord Voldemort. No, it was one him since birth. In fact, it was more like a problem almost all Muggle children have, inferiority complex. He felt all the pain and loneliness and sadness of never being loved, and being somewhat rejected by his own parents, the people who were supposed to love him more than life itself. It had always been why he hated Harry Potter, because Potter’s parents had given up their live for him. Draco’s parents couldn’t give up five minutes for anyone but themselves, and sometimes, for each other, but never, ever their son.

Aw hold me now I feel contagious

Another big reason he didn’t want Hermione and himself to be together again was that he had become frightened of the idea that he would drag her down into his depression with him. She was so vibrant and alive, he couldn’t bear to put the wight of his sorrow on to her, not even taking into consideration that she loved him enough to want to help him, she tried everything to make him feel loved and wanted and cared for. She could never get him to completely open up to her, and this bothered her enough to eventually have left him. She was sure that his coldness and reticence would inevitably transform her into his own mother, Narcissa. It was obvious that Narcissa Malfoy had withdrawn into her own little world because of Lucius. She could never make him happy so she made peace with the fact and had ever since existed merely to please herself, and the hell with everyone else, including her own son.

Am I the only place that you’ve left to go?

Now, with Hermione begging for him back, Draco felt that it was only out of pity, or, even worse, she was settling for him. That had to be it. She didn’t really care for him, she just couldn’t find anyone else to love her.

She cries her life is like some movie in black and white

Dead actors faking lines

Hermione told him the truth; she hadn’t been happy without being in his arms. His kisses and caresses had made her feel alive, they made her world in technicolor, surreal like. She fell to her knees and cried and pleaded with him that she had never loved anyone else, just him only him. She could have screamed the anguish she felt.

Over and over and over again she cries

Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself

Don’t fall away, and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again

Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands

Love lies bleeding

He still loved her. Oh God, how he loved her. But he was still reeling from the hurt of her betrayal, as long ago as it had been. He still felt the shock effects sometimes.

And I watched as you turned away

You don’t remember, but I knew

You never even tried

Hermione had broken it off as easily as she would have told someone they had dirt on their nose. And she didn’t even look back to see him sagging against the wall, so stunned that he couldn’t even reply to her. She honestly thought she had done right by him, that her feelings were echoed completely in his words, his manner. But no, Draco had just had too much pride to call to her and tell her he couldn’t live without her, and he was so hurt he couldn’t even speak. He had never simpered in his life, and he hadn’t know how to then. Now he did.

He went to his knees beside her, clutching her sobbing figure close, his tears mingling with her own as he shouted his words, “I do love you! I always have! I always will!” And a howl of relief escaped her as she crumpled into him and they both whispered ‘I love you’s’ and put all of their heat and passion and fire into the flame that consumed them, enveloped them, so that every memory came flooding back and they could begin again. Not without the same promise to each other of never again, never again will we be apart. And that they would destroy one if the other destroyed the first’s heart. They made their vows to each other, right there on the floor, without anyone else’s presence in the world mattering to them at that moment, sure of only one thing, they loved one another passionately, fervently, and the knowledge in their hearts and minds now. The words a reverb, both understanding the one plea that had reunited them again.

Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself

Don’t fall away, and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again

Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again

Only this time love would not lie bleeding. They both understood their cries to each other, cries that said ‘don’t fall away and leave me to myself, don’t fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands again. We can make it through anything, if only we do it together, we can’t ever let go. We can’t leave love again. If we know that, we know we’ll be alright’.