Parvati's Bad Hair Day

"Hermione, if you'd just let me try, I'm sure I could do something with your hair," said Parvati Patil, Lavender Brown nodding frombeside her.

"No. Stop being so vain."

"It's not vain if it's the truth!"

***

It was morning and Hermione was waiting in anticipation. She watched through half-lidded eyes as Parvati stretched and plodded over to her mirror. Parvati looked absently at her reflection while adjusting the pink tinsel that framed it. The bleariness cleared from her eyes and she surveyed herself more closely to begin her daily beauty routine.

A small crease appeared on her forehead. Hermione could imagine what Parvati was thinking, 'Why is my face in focus while my hair...? MY HAIR!' Hermione stifled a laugh as a look of dawning horror left Parvati gaping. With immense speed she grabbed every hair accessory and implement she owned and forced them upon her head. Combing only worsened it, though. Every downward swipe caused her hair to stick up with even more defiance. As panic set in, Parvati began speaking in tongues, which surprised Hermione as she didn't think Parvati had quite mastered English.

"Pramathama, me maaf kartha! Sub cush me ketha, sub kush me kitha...mi dispiace!" Nothing happened. For a few moments Parvati stood speechless and motionless.

Then, she gasped with an epiphany. She took from a drawer a small decorated box. With her wand grasped tightly in one hand, she threw open the lid, screaming a spell too quickly for Hermione to catch it.

A swarm of butterfly clips spewed forth.

Each attached itself to Parvati's hair, pulling and pinning it with pincer-like clasps. After a few moments of suffering, Parvati's hair had been tamed. She sighed as the butterflies flapped their wings in unison at the pace of an old man snoring. The sight almost had Hermione doubting her charm work, and then there was a loud pop. One of the clips burst off and hit the wall. Then another popped against the mirror. Pop! The bed. Pop! The floor. Hermione shielded her eyes against the onslaught. A somewhat confused voice floated from Lavender's bed.

"Are you making popcorn?"

"NO!"

Lavender's head peeked around the curtain, and then promptly disappeared again to dodge a clip. When the noise had ceased, she cautiously got up. She stepped once, twice and then stopped. 'Why was Parvati's face in focus while her hair...? HER HAIR!'

Lavender shrieked. Parvati shrieked. 'What the hell,' thought Hermione and she shrieked as well. As the screaming continued, Hermione was thankful she had had the foresight to borrow some earmuffs from the greenhouse.

***

At breakfast, Hermione did not see Parvati, but she did see her giant yellow and purple polka dot hat. It was quite strange, mused Hermione, to watch the food go up to the hat and then disappear, almost as if it were the one eating. At the staff table, Professor McGonagall was debating whether or not to confiscate the item, at the cost of losing points from her own house.

"What's wrong with Parvati?" asked Ron, realizing he had been a bit loud when Lavender gave him a dirty look from across the table.

"How should I know?" replied Hermione breezily. She was a bit annoyed that Parvati had found a way to hide her hair, when the whole point of the charm had been to embarrass her out of being so superficial.

"You share a dorm with her..."

After all she had done, Hermione couldn't see why a little extra cruelty would be that bad, especially if her intentions were good. "If you really want to know, ask her yourself," she said, giving her wand a discreet wave as she did.

"Parvati's hair!" cried Ron.

Everyone fell silent. Then a rumbling started from somewhere at the Slytherin table. It spread across the hall. Parvati's face turned bright red as she realized they were laughing. She made two hurried attempts to jam the hat back on, and when she failed the third time, shot up and ran outside.

Hermione shook her head and took a bite out of her toast.

***

As the day went on Hermione heard countless stories explaining what had happened to Parvati's hair. Some said it was because she had used too many different hair products, others said that she had somehow mixed up glue with shampoo, and one boy tried to convince Hermione it was because Parvati had listened to Muggle music.

At lunch, Lavender ate alone. Hermione could not help being a little curious and, telling Harry and Ron that she was going to see how Winky the house elf was, went in search of Parvati. She had expected to find her in some quiet, isolated spot, but finding Parvati on her way to the library had still been a bit of a shock. Parvati approached a studying figure that Hermione recognized to be Parvati's twin, Padma, and took a seat. Hermione sat behind a bookshelf so that she could hear them without being seen.

"Addie, I need your help."

"Of course you do. What's in it for me?"

"You're my sister; you'll do it for the satisfaction of helping me!"

"For that, I can only help you find the nearest hat shop."

"Oh, alright. What do you want?"

"You share a dorm with Hermione Granger?" Hermione leant towards the shelf at hearing her name.

"Yeah..."

"I need you to do a spell on her while she's asleep." Hermione frowned. A group of first years was pointing at her and giggling, "That girl's listening to books!"

"What? Why?"

"She's making the Ravenclaws look bad. I used to admire her, but now it's just irritating. I mean, I didn't know there were even that many OWLs to be achieved!"

Hermione twitched. Slytherins she could handle - half the time Pansy Parkinson held her wand the wrong way - but Ravenclaws? She hadn't planned starting her reviews this early in the year, but at that moment going over her defense spells didn't seem like a bad idea.

"Okay, I'll do it, but sort out my hair first."

Hermione heard Padma mutter a few spells, her voice becoming more and more agitated as she tried all the ones she knew. "It's not working..." She fell silent. "It must be a hex. Seems to me that we've got more reason to get back at Hermione than we thought."

"I can't believe it! I am so burning all of her books."

"Don't be so brash, I can think of far worse things..." Padma dropped her voice, and Hermione leant back on her chair so near the shelf that she fell. As she caught some books before they could hit her, she waved away the cackling first years. She was so distracted by what she had heard that she muttered away points from Ravenclaw instead of Hufflepuff.

***

Hermione stayed in the library a little longer than Parvati (she wanted to take out one of the books that had fallen on her) but when she left, she soon spotted the hunted-turned-hunter. Parvati was mid-conversation with a seventh year boy and, from the look on her face, was pretty angry.

"Just leave me alone," whined the boy.

"Why aren't you talking to me today?"

"It's nothing, I just-" he turned to leave but Parvati caught his arm. "Stop it. Everyone's staring at us..."

"It's because of my hair, isn't it? I can't believe this. Just stop being so vain!" It seemed the whole corridor took a collective breath. Parvati's hair fell from its frizzled sticking-up state into the familiar silky sheet. "My hair! My hair! This is fantastic. I have to go show Lavender!"

'Ah, well,' thought Hermione as Parvati strutted past her, 'that will have to do.'

***

Parvati crept up to Hermione's bed and drew back the curtain. She silently took out the piece of paper her sister had given her with the spell written on it: Aramelipestriactoyonish.

She pointed her wand at the sleeping figure. "Aramal- no. Aramele- Aramil- Oh, bugger this!" She threw down the piece of paper, grabbed Hermione's wand and snapped it.

"Ha!"