Too Much Beauty Wasted

It was the summer holidays, but they hardly felt the summer.

He had spent too much of it dreaming of snow. She had felt shivers down her spine, even when the sun was high in the sky.

He had questioned his sanity after so many sleepless nights. She would only wake up to eat something when her mother screamed at her from behind the bedroom door.

They both thought getting out of the confinement of their houses would do them some good. But he didn't know where to go; she felt lost in familiar places.

They met by accident while shopping for school supplies.

He wasn't happy to see her. She wasn't particularly joyful to seeing him either.

He was looking for someone to blame for his rage. She never backed down from a fight.

So that was how two people, with absolutely nothing in common but their mutual hatred for everything the other represented, ended up duelling in one of the hidden corners of Diagon Alley. Considering their previous history, it was to be expected.

He ended up with a bleeding nose. She ended up with a sore body from all the curses she hadn't managed to block.

That was when they realized they were good opponents, they fought better against each other. And they wanted to fight; maybe because they had so much anger repressed inside them; maybe because they wanted to let out some of the fear they were feeling for the dark times they were living in - it didn't matter.

What mattered was that they had found, in each other, a peculiar harbour to go to every time they needed to forget about the world.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*

When school started, they were anxious to meet once more; and they soon did - by accident, again - in the middle of a corridor between classes. He was surrounded by other students he didn't care to know; she was surrounded by friends. All they could do then was look at each other menacingly, their eyes full of promises they knew they wouldn't fulfil.

He wouldn't dare hurt her too badly; she couldn't hurt him. So all they could do was think empty threats and hope they would meet when no one else was around.

So they'd go out of their way to try and pass by each other between classes; they'd hurry eating dinner to see if they could run by the other; their wands always ready; several curses on the tip of their tongues.

But when they finally did meet, they just stood there, staring at each other; wands ready in their hands, their mouths incapable of muttering any spells whatsoever.

You see, they had spent too much time studying the other. In the anxious glances they had exchanged while planning fights and revenges, they had naturally traded hate for interest; and they had soon begun to doubt their reasons for such hate.

They didn't really have any reason to fight. But of course they wouldn't recognize it just then. They wouldn't admit it - not now, not ever - they had more in common than they had thought.

They both seemed lost in a world that didn't expect anything from them.

They were both scared.

They didn't know what to do but follow the given path without question.

So the hate and the anger and the fear diminished while they stood there, looking at each other and wondering why they had started that stupid feud in the first place.

They simply had more in common than they knew.

She had begun having strange dreams about corpses, lightning, diaries and hope. He had dreamt about lightning and hope since he was twelve.

She was afraid of being fooled by an evil force again, so she was suspicious of any shadow that came too close to her. He felt like he was fooled by evil forces every day, and he didn't even know what evil forces were.

He had looked at her closely and watched the difference grow while her eyes got darker, day by day; her skin more pale; her shine disappearing. She had looked attentively and saw how he seemed tired and less imposing.

They looked at those times, the imminent war ahead of them, and they both agreed too much beauty was being wasted those days, and turning their backs on each other, they walked to their common rooms.

But something changed just then. The interest had been built; it couldn't be destroyed that easily. They had recognised beauty in the other, and that idea wouldn't change as fast as they would like it to. They could fight against those feelings, but they couldn't stop them.

He couldn't let go of his new habit of watching her every move. Her lips had entranced him, and he never got tired of the way her body moved when she walked. She wasn't keen on forgetting how gorgeous he looked when he thought no one was paying attention. He would relax and look almost breakable, what made her forget how intimidating he looked when he wanted to.

Thus he thought he should protect her from loosing her glow. And she thought she had to help him regain his daunting ways again.

They agreed their beauties shouldn't be wasted - but what could they do about it? They were not friends; they were not acquaintances. They were not even in the same year, therefore they didn't share any classes.

In order to help each other, they had to share something more than thoughts and looks.

So they began sharing library time. In the beginning they sat far from each other and sometimes would cast subtle glances when they thought it was safe to do so. Later they would sit at the same table, each at one end. And every week they would get closer, until they finally sat side by side, although they still wouldn't share a word.

They had nothing to say, although their thoughts were frantic and ran wild, especially when their arms would brush in the air by accident, or when their legs would touch, causing them both to blush.

It took them months to talk, and it was always so brief and rushed that no one else noticed what was going on. They barely noticed; all they knew was that at six pm they would be seated at the same table and the same chairs, and sometimes they would try to engage in conversation by whispering, "I've read this book, it's good." Or, "Lot of homework? Yes, Professor McGonagall is tough." - Although the most popular had been, "Nice day, huh?" until she had snapped, "It would be if it only stopped raining," and that killed the conversation for weeks.

Until one day he arrived and someone else was already sat in their seats, and she was standing beside a bookcase, looking perplexed and desolated. He stood by her side and muttered, "Exams." Exams always crowded the library. She just nodded and sighed heavily.

He invited her to go outside. The Quidditch pitch would be all lit up and they could study there. She agreed and followed him - since then their schedule changed. They would always meet at the same seats by the Quidditch pitch, and not even Quidditch practices could bother them; they could see everything, but no one got close enough to see them.

There was no reason for anyone to go close to where they were. And no one would go looking for them there. Especially because no one would expect them to be together.

At their hidden place they could talk more freely. There was no one around to look at them strangely because they were sharing words, so they felt unafraid. They would look around them; the castle could almost fit in their hands; the Forbidden Forest didn't seem so scary or so forbidden; the world looked smaller and closer to their reach and they would feel unstoppable.

That was when the world threatened to stop them by falling apart before their eyes.

The news got scarier as their friends looked more and more worried; the teachers looked jumpy and the headmaster looked so old they feared for his strength.

They cleverly decided to ignore it all. If they stopped reading the news, they wouldn't understand the fear around them; if they kept themselves in their hidden place they could still pretend they could hold the castle in their hands.

Nothing could come between them but their own words, so they restrained them. She didn't want to look too maudlin; he didn't want to look too worried.

But they were both maudlin and worried when she finally recognised out loud, "The time is coming for us to make our choices."

He took a deep breath and cursed the entire world, that entity full of evil forces that insisted on ruining his life. He wanted to help her; he wanted to save her glow before they had to part, but that was too soon. They had barely begun talking to each other; they had barely begun having hopes of changing anything.

She was miserable and she blamed that dark wizard for stealing such precious times of their lives. She wanted to learn more about him; she wanted to help restore that way of looking and smiling that once made her hate him and now she missed terribly. But she couldn't do any of it if they would have to separate so fast.

They hadn't traded more than words and there was too much hope to build yet, so how could the world move so fast to try and destroy it? He tried to ignore it and said, "Let's just wait and see what comes."

Except that they both knew they couldn't let whatever would come to meet them along the way. A wise man once said if you don't choose, the world chooses for you. And they were afraid of what the world would choose for them, for they were beginning to realise the world wasn't that good with choices.

"I don't think love will take us by the hand and show us the way," she had pointed out - finally not afraid of looking maudlin - and he was too sensible to disagree.

He knew nothing and no one would show which path they should follow. But the path somehow changed, and he knew they wouldn't follow it alone.

They would just follow each other.