Winter Sunlight

    Winter Sunlight

    Epilogue

    The cold breeze plucked at his coat with formless hands, and he bent over to tighten the cloak of the child standing next to him. She fidgetted impatiently, tapping her small foot, while he refastened the silver clasp.

    "I'm all right," Lily protested in her piping voice, but suffered him to tuck the summer cloak around her small body. He smiled to himself and finished tucking her cloak firmly in place. In the past few years, he'd learnt to turn a selectively deaf ear to certain things that children said.

    "All set now. Comfy?" he asked, taking her hand in his again. She nodded and skipped off, dragging him along in her haste. He allowed himself to be led along the trailing path between the smooth stones, the trees - though bare of leaves - offering a comfortable air of peaceful quiet. The sky was clear of even the hint of clouds, and he imagined that his eyes could penetrate the azure dome to the stars beyond.

    She almost missed the fork in the road in her haste, but stopped still with one foot on the left hand path and looked up at him shyly. The hood had fallen back, her pale hair flowing back to end in a french braid. She looked almost doll-like, fluttering her lashes at him and hiding her glowing emerald eyes along with her embarassment. The pale elfin face held a spot of color on each smooth cheek, though perhaps it was from the cold air.

    "Sorry. Almost forgot," she murmured, and dragged him back around the fork. He found that his footsteps fell heavier with each stride, even after all these years. But Lily had promised that they'd visit her first the next time they came here, and there was no helping it. At heart, he was relieved that she wouldn't be the last one they saw before they left. This way, she wouldn't weigh so heavily on his mind afterwards - or at least, so he hoped. He saw her in his dreams all the time, anyway.

    They finally arrived at the familiar marble stone, standing slim and upright, much like its owner. The milky stone had gathered a bit of sunlight even in this frigid weather. It felt unusually warm to his touch, when he took his gloves off and laid his hands on it.

    She stood next to him, small gloved hands gathered before her and little head bowed solemnly. He smiled to see her so quiet, used to the overwhelming energy and activity she normally displayed. But it was short lived, and soon enough she looked up at him.

    "Can I go and see them now? They'll be waiting!"

    "Don't wander off too far," he warned, but she was already off. Her dark cloak parted open with the force of her run, and he could see the white of her dress peeking out beneath the flaring cloak. He sighed and turned back to the stone.

    "She's really something, isn't she? Seven years old, and already at the top of the world. Or so she thinks."

    He paused a moment, absently running his hands along the smooth stone.

    "I wonder what you were like when you were seven. I even wonder what her grandmother was like when she was seven. I guess I'll never find out, now."

    He stopped, searching for words. As always, they failed him when he stood before her - but then they hadn't always needed words to communicate, had they? He simply laid his hand on the stone and closed his eyes, letting the silence speak for him. But the fading patter of little feet forced his eyes back open.

    "I have to go. But I'll come visit soon. With her, of course. I know you'd like that."

    He stooped over and gave the stone gentle kiss, and with a whispered "I miss you," headed off after Lily. She had already disappeared among the smooth stones populating the field, but he could hear her clear, high voice as he neared his destination.

    "And it's really really big now, with all these great plants. There's mandrakes and treeroot and hemlock and nightshade, and uncle Nev is going to get flowers too, and...."

    "Lily!" he called. The little girl who was named after her grandmother just shot him an impatient look and turned back to continue speaking. Actually, a comprehensive outline of each and every activity between the last visit and the current one was more like it.

    He sighed, thinking that Hermione had corrupted her much too quickly. The child was acting more and more like her every day. He came up to the stones himself, and his eyes flickered over the inscription.

    'You only talk about how I give you peace. You never mention how you give me warmth.'

    Her last words, breathed out from the pale face whose light flickered and faded with childbirth. They were the only words fitting for the grave of the woman known to the world for her cold demeanor.

    Few of them had known the true person lying behind that mask.

    But they were already running late. Lily had been begging and pleading all week to come, and he'd finally surrendered on their way back to the shop. He came up close to her and laid a hand on the small shoulder.

    "Come on Lily, we have to go now."

    "So soon?" she protested, unable to take her eyes away from the twin stones.

    "It was just for a moment, you know that. Besides, we'll be back next week."

    "But...."

    He was already gently pulling her away, and she followed, though she didn't forget to throw over her shoulder, "I'll be back next week!"

    *    *

    "Did father love mother very much?" she asked him as they left, hand in hand. Her overwhelming curiosity about her parents probably arose from the fact that she had no memories of them. Though she knew the simple facts - her mother died giving birth to her, and her father had not outlived his wife for long. Because he loved her so much. But she always seemed to want to check, and ask the others.

    "Very much," he replied. Maybe too much. If there was anything such as loving too much. But he didn't voice his thoughts. Just as Lily didn't ask why, if her parents had loved each other and her so much, she'd been left behind. He'd been dreading the answer to that question, ever since her father had entrusted her to his care on his deathbed.

    'Perhaps she'll start asking that when she grew a little older,' he hoped.

    'Maybe a lot older.'

    For now, she nodded in satisfaction and continued along the path with a frown of concentration on her brows, so much like Harry that it made his heart ache. She looked back up at him as they neared the edge of the anti-apparation wards. Thankfully, it wasn't anything more about her parents.

    "Do you think aunt Hermy is making hot chocolate?"

    "I don't know. Why don't we go and find out?"

    She let go of his hand and race off to the gates, then turned around and shouted.

    "Come on, uncle Nev! She'll be waiting for us!"

    He smiled back and hurried his steps. God help anything that stood between Lily and hot chocolate.

    Behind them, the cemetary lay quiet and peaceful, basking under the winter sunlight.

The End.

    *    *    *

Endnote :

    Whew! Well that's over and done with. I never envisioned this story, which was a one-shot in the first stages, grow to such proportions. And to think this is the only second piece of fanfic I've written(the first was a short story in X-Men fandom). I admit, I had to struggle to suppress all the myriad ideas and images that popped up, which threatened to lengthen the story even more. Which I definitely wanted to avoid, seeing as my initial plan of "three chapters of equal length" was doubled.

    Going through the chapters I've written and posted, I feel the lack in bringing some of the ideas I had to light. Some things I planned for were just plainly over-ambitious, others I didn't quite have the time to work on. What I regret the most is that I didn't work on the spin on anti-Death Eater sentiment I envisioned for the story. I tried a little with the Nott family, but I fear it was quite up to what I hoped for. Also, bad-boy Neville didn't last beyond the first two chapters, and trying to keep dialogue to a minimum just went out the window. The messed-up Hermione-Ron-Harry triangle? Don't even mention it. I didn't even explain the wicked and cunning plan Cho carried out, and it's a pretty big part of the story. Sigh.

    Ah well. C'est la vie.

    Also, in case someone wonders (nobody asked me directly, but I kept on getting bothered by the fact that I didn't explain), there IS a reason why Narcissa could calm Harry's fever - and Voldemort - down. It's all there in my head - just I never got around to writing about it. Partly because I couldn't quite explain it without "Winter Sunlight" turning into some half-bit treatise on magic and eastern medicine, and partly because I didn't feel it had enough to do with the story that it wouldn't feel like a - as they say in China - snake's foot.

    But certainly I never imagined that people would actually bother reading my story, and even review them! About an equal number of people read chapters 2, 3 & 4, giving me hope that some three hundred odd people bothered working through the mess I offered. Which gives me the - misguided - impression that my work isn't COMPLETELY hopeless. I might even try writing another fic *GASP*. There's a few ideas circling around my head - but enough of that. Right now, I'm just glad that I've finished the story, and somebody out there has read it.

    Last but not the least, I'd like to thank all the people whose kind encouragements helped me start and continue "Winter Sunlight." In no particular order : Rathimal, Fair Rose 891, Jaina12, Camilla Bloom, Numba1, KobeG, jgwatsonjg, Malicean, The Breeze, PureBloodGryffindor, flashgordon, and Lisa Holroyd. And of course, the most important of them all, my dear Emma Love, who beta-ed through this awful muck for me. Thank you all! I couldn't have done it without you!

     Yours Sincerely,

     Undertree33