Bridge

Bridge

To Make Lovers From Friends Part III

May, Year 6

"Idiot fourth year - drop him!" James ordered. The fourth year he and Remus had in a head lock (who was nearly twice as wide as James himself) refused to let up and - if anything - squeezed the first year even harder. The small blond boy was rapidly turning purple from lack of oxygen.

"Damn it! Liceatus!"

Upon being hit with an itching hex, the fourth year dropped the small boy and began scratching violently.

"Un-bloody-believable," Sirius said, checking the first year Slytherin for broken bones and bruises. "You would think he would've stopped after I'd Disarmed him. What in the world did you do to him?" he addressed the first year.

Abruptly, the first year's eyes filled with tears though he turned away angrily to hide them. "Nothing," he declared.

"Bullshit!" the fourth year Hufflepuff shouted. All three older boys winced. The large boy's eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under them told James he hadn't slept fitfully in days. "His father killed my sister!"

With a roar, he went after the younger boy again. James grabbed his arms and flipped him onto the ground, falling with him. The boy fought him with every ounce of strength he possessed, punching every part of James' body he could reach.

"He killed her, he killed her, he killed her," he repeated over and over, tears streaming down his face while continuing to fight James with everything in him. James fought him back, instinctively feeling that the kid just needed to vent all this steam. He couldn't really hurt James; between Quidditch, holding a werewolf in check every full moon, and wrestling with twelve older male cousins since he was three, there was very little that hadn't already been done to him. He could take it easier than a first year some hundred pounds lighter.

Two minutes later, the boy's body went limp and he sagged.

"She was pregnant," he whispered and fell forward. James, on the ground, was unable to get up fast enough to catch him, but he hadn't needed to. Soft arms wrapped around Samuel Weasley and fell lightly with him to the ground, supporting him.

"She's okay now, Sam," Lily murmured, brushing the boy's bright red hair away from his eyes and kissing his forehead. His entire body heaved with emotion. "I know. I know how it feels." Lily's own eyes were filled with tears. "But her and her baby are okay now. Nothing's ever going to hurt them again."

James was still collapsed on the ground, trying to count the number of broken ribs he thought he might have. His eyes met Lily's green ones over the head of the boy and they exchanged looks full of a meaning that couldn't be put into words. Sirius and Remus had straightened out the Slytherin boy and conjured him a steaming mug of hot chocolate. James thought the young boy was going to cry again when Sam Weasley looked up, looked him straight in the face, and muttered, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Then he buried his head in Lily's throat again, continuing to murmur it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Guessing the meaning, Lily said quietly,

"There's nothing you could have done, Sam."

He drew a deep shuddering breath and let it out, entire body quaking.

"I know," he whispered. But it was enough.

Remus summoned a Slytherin prefect to escort the first year back to the common room. James closed his eyes to avoid the look he knew the prefect was giving him. He opened them again when he felt Sirius drop down next to him, dab the blood from his lip, and begin checking all his other wounds.

James hissed when Sirius touched his rib.

"He's got a broken rib," Sirius informed Remus.

Remus looked down at James and half-smiled

"It is beyond me, James, why - when I know how to fix so many different injuries - you insist on getting one I don't know anything about."

James held out his arm apologetically.

"I have a bruise there."

Remus took in the vivid green and purple thing on James' bicep and shook his head. Without a word, he ran his wand over it and it faded away. James looked back at Sirius who was watching him intently.

"You have a black eye," he informed James conversationally, pointing at it.

James half-laughed, causing his ribs to sear with pain and he ended up groaning instead.

"Fat lot of help you are-

"Remus."

Lily's voice brought an end to their conversation. All three young men turned and looked at her attentively.

Sam Weasley had fallen asleep against her and it was quite impossible for Lily to hold up his dead weight. Remus immediately stood and walked over. With little or no effort, he lifted the boy from the ground and supported him on one side.

"Sirius, you take his other side," Remus instructed. Sirius stood and walked over.

"I'll get James to the Hospital Wing," Lily said, straightening and brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Alright," Remus said. "Make sure you strap him down when you get there; he likes to leave before Madam Pomfrey gives him the medicine."

"Yeah, he's a bit of a Nancy about it," Sirius added.

"Let's all talk about me like I'm not here," James interjected. Lily laughed and bent next to his face. Her long hair fell over her shoulder, enveloping him.

James could hear Remus and Sirius snickering behind him. He sent them a rude sign behind Lily's back which made them snicker even harder. Lily had knelt and was feeling his rib cage, a concentrative frown on her lips and brows.

James heard Sirius, Remus, and Sam making their slow way down the corridor. Then something happened that made him forget them entirely.

Lily was touching his chest.

"You have three cracked ribs," she informed him. "One might be broken. There doesn't seem to be any damage to the lung cavity but..." she trailed off realizing her hands were still on him and drew them away, flushing.

Loving her, James couldn't quite manage to contain his grin. She was choosing to ignore it.

"Where else does it hurt?" she asked in a business-like way.

James tried to pin-point one ache and couldn't.

"Everywhere?" he guessed.

She smiled and sat back on her heels.

"We'd best get you to Madam Pomfrey," she said.

He grimaced but nodded and attempted to sit up. It hurt like the Devil and he flopped back down, eyes clenched shut.

Next thing he knew, he was floating.

Lily was standing above him with a wand.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, surprised.

"This way you don't have to move," she said, eyes twinkling.

"You mean, this way I can't move to escape," he grumbled. He knew he was right when she laughed.

"That, too."

She sobered abruptly and gazed at him. As he was currently floating at a height even with her naval it was a rather interesting sensation.

"That was a great thing you just did," she said quietly. James snorted.

"You're the one that helped him."

Lily shook his head. "He wouldn't have wanted or been ready for my help if you hadn't helped him first. He'll probably never mention it so I'll say it for him - thank you."

James studied her face intently, wondering if she could ever know how much it meant. After a moment, he cleared his throat and said as clearly as he could manage,

"Your welcome."

___

Lily gazed at the mirror in front of her, absently pulling her hair back from her face and into a black rubber band. Finished, she dropped her hands and looked at herself critically.

She looked tired, she decided. Sleep would be good.

Ignoring the fact that it was only eight-thirty, Lily muttered "Nox" and slipped under her covers as the lights died out.

Her bed felt heavenly.

But - as she discovered some fifteen minutes later - she couldn't fall asleep. Something was tugging at the edges of her brain...like an impatient child...

The problem was that Lily could picture the child clearly in her mind's eye. She even knew his name:

James Caleb Alexander-when-his-mum-was-really-angry Potter.

Giving up on sleep for the moment, Lily rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Life was the most confusing and surprising thing sometimes.

Who could've guessed?

She saw once again the image of Potter collapsed on his back on a hard, stone floor, bruised and bloodied after allowing a distraught fifteen year-old to pummel him half to death. Part of her was furious with him for taking such a risk and another part moved beyond words.

That was bravery.

He'd shown her exactly what was still inside of him tonight.

And had been, she admitted, for the last month or so.

She just hadn't wanted to subject herself to it. To him. She couldn't quite forget how he'd hurt her last time.

What had happened?

Lily knew about Remus now. About how Sirius had told Snape of the Willow and how Remus would have killed Snape had it not been for James. But that couldn't be all. After that, Potter had been in a state of depression for nearly a month and a half before - abruptly - snapping out of it and...fixing everything. His, Sirius', Remus', and Peter's friendship was even being pieced back together, perhaps stronger than before.

It was almost unreal.

And if it had been anyone other than James Potter, Lily would never have believed it.

But then, he'd always been capable of the impossible. No one who was around Potter for more than five minutes doubted that he would have an extraordinary life. Because he wouldn't settle for anything less.

This was what she'd been waiting for from him.

He was trying.

Although he did have lapses, Lily admitted with a slight grin.

He was far from perfect and just yesterday he'd snapped and sent a hex hurling at Snape for a snide remark about Remus.

He confused her.

She didn't know what to feel about him. Right now she was a strange jumble of pride and worry and happiness and frustration and - though she was loathe to admit it - fear.

For herself.

He could hurt her if she opened up to him again. It was probably wisest for her not to.

But how she could help it?

In times of great confusion, Lily had one outlet. Coming to the conclusion that now was one of those times, she reached over to her bedside table, pulled a role of parchment and a quill out of the drawer, unscrewed the cap on her ink, dipped her quill in it, and began to write,

Dear Pet,

I know it's been awhile but things have been so busy here lately, I've hardly had time for myself. It's a mess, it really is. Just an hour ago, we had to pry a fourth year off a first year. It seems that the little one's father was responsible for the death of the fourth year's sister.

It's a hard thing.

In all honesty, he should've been punished. He could have killed the boy but...how can you punish someone for their grief? I doubt it would have made a difference to him anyway, I doubt much is making a difference to him right now.

We tried to help him.

Hopefully, he'll come to peace with it soon.

Pray for him, will you?

I am, but two's always better than one.

And add me to your list while you're at it, okay? I could use it. I'm in a bit of a situation and I don't know what to do. Actually the doing part is easy - be as friendly and natural as possible - it's the feeling part that gets me.

It's about Potter.

And don't smirk. I know you will when you read this.

And it's not like that. It's just...

He's changed.

For the better, I mean. He's...grown up.

I just sat here and didn't write anything for five minutes. I was thinking.

Just writing to you helps me think clearer, I think.

Please owl back and let me know what you think about all this but I think I'm going to... be his friend again. I'll be on guard but...I want to be his friend. I've only just admitted to myself how much I've missed him.

Tell me if you think I'm being stupid. But he does deserve a chance, doesn't he? A second one, I mean? Please write and let me know; I need help on this one. Norma's not here anymore and I can hardly talk to Remus about it. Good luck with your end of year exams, let me know what's going on with you, and I'll see you in a month. My love always, Pet. Until then,

Carefully, Lily rolled up her letter and tied it with a blue ribbon. She sat and looked at it for a second before calling Archimedes, mulling it all over.

What she'd written there was right.

Smiling to herself, she tied the letter to Archimedes' leg and sent him off, falling back onto her pillows with a contented sigh.

She was asleep within minutes.

___

A couple weeks later...

"James Caleb Alexander Potter, don't you dare-"

"Why not, Lils? It's just the Giant Squid who - in fact - I seem to recall you saying you'd rather date than me so here's your chance."

"James-"

"So sorry, but you made your choice."

"You know perfectly well I didn't mean - AHH! You drop me in there, you're coming too."

"Am I? Look, Remus, she thinks I'm going with her."

"Aw, how sweet."

"I think she wants a chaperone, James."

"Of course! I understand. He is rather large after all and all those arms would be hard to deal with-"

"James! Put me down now! Don't you - let me go - ugh - James!"

SPLASH!

Great shouts and emphatic cursing now issued from the water some ten feet away. Remus, Sirius, and Peter howled with laughter to see James over his head in lake water and Lily standing victoriously on the shore, hands on her hips and her entire face laughing.

___

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," James said, methodically picking blades of grass and shredding them. After a moment, he tossed the grass away and leaned his head back against the tree trunk. "What can I do? He's my father."

"That doesn't mean you have to agree with him on all fronts."

"Yeah, but..."

"But what, Prongs? There is no 'but'. Lily Pad's right."

"He expects me to follow him into the Auror League."

"And my father expected me to follow him into the Fanatical, Lunatic, Crazed Pureblood Society of Greater Europe, promoters of inter-breeding and blood-purges."

"It's not the same thing, Padfoot."

"Like hell it isn't!" Sirius exploded, eyes flashing. "Your dad believes something and you don't agree with him!" He seemed to regain control of himself and looked away. "Okay. You're right. There is one difference." His voice was hard. "Your dad loves you."

James waited until Sirius had looked up and their eyes were focused on each other. Then, without wavering, he said,

"Exactly."

Sirius swallowed, seemed to think about it, and nodded. Then he turned away and gazed unseeingly at the lake, his black eyes burning.

"I think," Remus said quietly from his spot in the grass. It was the first time he'd spoken. He was looking at James. "That you're father will understand."

"Remus, my dad's like me. Where do you think I got it?"

"And you changed."

"Because of what I saw. The thing is, Dad's seen it. And it hasn't affected him."

"I thought you wanted to be an Auror," Peter spoke up.

"I do." James looked consideringly at him. "I want to fight and help and protect people just..."

"Not like that," Lily finished for him. James looked at her. After a moment, he said.

"Yeah. Just not like that."

"Mad-Eye Moody always brings prisoners in alive," Sirius spoke up suddenly, still gazing at the lake. "He only kills if he has to."

James gazed contemplatively at the back of Sirius' head.

"What are you gonna do, Padfoot?"

"Me?" Sirius looked at them all over his shoulder. He shrugged nonchalantly but a steel glint had entered his eye and there was something reckless about it when he grinned. Lily didn't know why she felt a chill when he said,

"I'm gonna do whatever's necessary."

___

The Leaving Feast, Year 6

"The end of another year," Dumbledore intoned, looking around at them allck banners hung solemnly around Great Hall in place of the usual house colors, and the chatter at this Leaving Feast was quiet and careful.

Alan Mead, a former Ravenclaw prefect whose family had been forced into hiding, had been killed last week. His and his family's bodies had been dropped in front of the Department of Mysteries where his father, Norman Mead, had worked.

Lily felt her eyes start to burn every time she thought about it. Alan had been her Arithmancy partner for three years.

Obviously sensing her choking up again, James reached over and took her hand, hazel eyes still intent on Dumbledore. Allowing herself to lean on his strength a little, Lily held onto his hand tightly and forced herself to listen to what Dumbledore had to say.

"- and so, I would ask that you all stand now and lift your glasses in honor of Alan Mead - a brilliant student, wonderful counselor, and unfailing peace-lover who should not have died this way."

Dumbledore's last words were final. As though no one should question that a serene soul like Alan's should not have had to suffer the callousness of a violent death. Lily's breath hitched and James held her hand tighter. On her other side, Sirius laid a protective hand on her shoulder, Remus nudged her lightly with his foot under the table, and Peter shot her a soft, sad smile that she somehow took heart in. What had she done to deserve these four?

Dumbledore stood and raised his glass. The students followed suit, James still holding Lily's hand in his.

"Alan Mead."

It was an old tradition now. There had been many deaths of Hogwarts students and of the parents and siblings of Hogwarts students and each one was honored in this way. It gave some closure, some sense of meaning, to the ever-growing list of those dead. Dumbledore's words - while never many - were always meaningful and gave people hope that these young lives - cut short though they were - had not been in vain.

They had lived.

The students sat down and looked again at Dumbledore. This was his cue to change the subject, clap his hands for their plates, or else give a farewell to the seventh years and a thank you to the professors.

But Albus Dumbledore did none of these. He remained standing, gazing at them all, the usual twinkling light gone from his eyes.

"It is my belief," he said quietly. "That this Darkness will last a while yet. I do not mean to frighten you or act as some oracle of doom. But we are no closer to finding a way to destroy Lord Voldemort then the day he showed himself at the World Cup in a massacre I'm sure you all remember. If anything, we are further away because he has driven both mountains and canyons between us. Mountains and canyons so large we cannot even shout to one another from either side. Many have died. Many more - I am afraid - will die as well."

He looked around at them all, seeming to make eye contact with each and every one of them. His blue eyes had lit now - not with a twinkling - but with a flame.

"But we will continue to fight," he declared, his voice no louder but with a certain determination that made each of them sit taller. "As sure as I stand here before you, I will continue to fight him. And so will the hundreds of others out there, standing against him now," We can beat him. If you stand with us and we all stand as one, we can beat him."

To her right, Lily felt James stand. She looked up at his face, higher from hers then usual because she was sitting, and saw him nod at Dumbledore.

Sirius stood to her left.

Understanding flashed and Lily stood as well. Then Remus, then Peter. Then one, two, four Hufflepuffs. The rest of Gryffindor. The rest of Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw came to a decision and rose as one. Over at the Slytherin table, half of them were standing.

Not everyone was. Some were bent, hunched in their seats, not making eye contact. Some smirked amusedly at the group in front of them, snickering to each other behind their hands.

Dumbledore was smiling.

He looked directly at James from the High Table and nodded.

"Thank you."

His gaze flicked over to Lily and his blue eyes seemed to twinkle all the more. Lily could have sworn he'd winked. But then he turned back to the rest of the student body and Lily wondered if she hadn't imagined it.

"We will win," he said determinedly and looked directly at the group of Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, and Hufflepuffs who remained sitting. "We will. Evils come and go but none are lasting. Dark Wizards and Witches have risen and again and again and fallen again and again. Lord Voldemort will be no different. He will fall. But know and accept now that our times will get darker before they get brighter. It is my belief that we are about to enter into an even more difficult period of Lord Voldemort's reign.

"But do not lose hope, my friends." He smiled around at them all. "There cannot be darkness without light and no matter how dense the night seems, the stars are always there. They just require a little... searching."

Dumbledore raised his arm in an ark above his head. Slowly, majestically the stars in night sky above them began floating downward onto the noses and into the hands of the students.

"Take them," Dumbledore said. The students each held a shining light cupped in their hands and while the light had gone from above, it now came from each of them.

"For you," Dumbledore declared. "For you to take with you as a reminder of the good still in the world. In the bravery exhibited by those who simply in the act if living, defy evil. In the friendships formed both because and despite our times and that are made stronger by our trials. There is good in the amazing leaps and bounds that each of you perform without realizing there is an audience every year as you grow up and mature and face things that the majority of us at the High Table did not have to face. And the amazing courage, strength, and care for one another that pulls you through. I've watched," Dumbledore said, his eyes returning once again to James. "And I know."

He paused for a moment and then glanced upward.

"And look," he said, pointing. The clouds were moving, parting. In their wake, stars winked. Lily felt herself smiling widely though tears pricked at her eyes.

Dumbledore, too, was gazing upwards, his silver beard translucent in the darkness. After a moment of silence, he added simply,

"There's always more."

___

Summer

"Six letter, Greek word meaning "folly of pride."

"Hubris," James answered Sirius, not turning around from the pancake he was attempting to flip. His mother made this look so easy...

James swished his wand upward and concentrated on the proper incantation. The pancake's edges lifted a bit but nothing more. It was going to burn in a few more moments.

Desperate, James prodded at it with his wand. It, promptly, burst into flame.

"Damn it!" he exclaimed, hastily putting it out. He turned to see Sirius and Peter both watching him amusedly from over their newspapers.

"Having trouble, Prongsie?" Sirius inquired cheerfully.

"Not at all," James grumbled and turned back around to pour out another cup of pancake batter. "I'm gonna get this if it kills me."

"It might," Sirius said contemplatively.

"It might take us and the cabin with him, too," Peter added darkly.

Sirius let out his laugh like a bark, before sighing forlornly. "It'd be a tragic way to go. 'Four Wizards Killed by Over Exuberant Pancake Flipper in Accidental Fire.' Mum would be so pleased."

Eyes on the cookbook, James shot the two of them a very rude sign behind his back. Sirius and Peter laughed. Then there was a rustling of papers and all was quiet again.

The peace was a refreshing change, James thought, watching the pancake turn gold. There had been precious little at his house lately.

Knowing that he shouldn't even be thinking about complaining about his family when there was Sirius and Peter and the families that neither of them had ever had, James struggled to put it out of his head and fished around for another topic.

As usual, his brain landed on Lily and he grinned unconsciously. What she would say about his trying to make pancakes...

His thoughts were interrupted then by the distraction of Remus blearily making his way into the kitchen, stumbling into the trashcan and barely managing to make it into his chair.

"Rough night?" James asked, wiggling his eyebrows. He'd seen the girl who had attached herself to Remus last night; she'd been a Muggle, blond, with legs up to her ears.

"She did yoga," Remus mumbled in something that was either ecstasy or pain. James' brow furrowed.

"What's that?"

Remus looked at him blankly as though for the life of him he couldn't think of how to describe it. Finally, he settled on, "Ask Lily."

"Why? Has she done yoga on you?" Sirius asked, smirking evilly and clearly believing the worst of yoga and ducking the pancake batter James flung at him. Performing a quick cleaning charm, he smirked and asked Remus starkly,

"So did you do it?"

"I didn't sleep with her if that's what you're asking," Remus said calmly, conjuring up a glass of orange juice and choosing a newspaper section.

"Of course that's what he was asking."

"What'd you do then if you didn't have sex?"

"We-"

"What?"

"She-"

"Did yoga moves on you?"

"No. Well...yes, but-"

"So you did yoga but not sex?"

"We just made out! Merlin. Her car was parked outside and we drove down to the lake-"

"You were gone an awful long time to just be making out."

"Yeah, well, Sirius, quickies aren't exactly my thing," Remus snapped, clearly irritated now. James let out a low whistle.

"He got you on that one, Padfoot."

"Excuse me," Sirius began in an offended voice. "I do not do-to use your vulgar terminology-"

"- and for lack of a better word-" James cut in. Sirius shot him a look and continued.

"Ahem - your vulgar terminology - do 'quickies'. In fact-"

Fortunately, they were saved by James' shout of triumph at the successful flipping of a pancake.

"It worked! Look."

He gestured grandly towards the pan, ridiculously thrilled. Remus' left eyebrow had risen so high it nearly disappeared into his hairline, Peter was shaking his head tragically, and Sirius had just let his head fall heavily onto the table, "Prongs..."

"What is he on?" Remus asked, turning to Sirius.

"No idea."

"We think he's practicing for his life with Lily," Peter said. Sirius laughed.

"I think that's it, Pete. You know, Lily's a high maintenance kind of girl. She'll probably want breakfast in bed every morning, followed by a massage, then a trip into town for some shopping during which James will carry every last one of her packages-"

"I would not," James grumbled, putting another successfully made pancake on the platter. "Yes you would."

"Okay, maybe."

"Ha!"

"Better be careful I don't slip something lethal into your pancake."

"I don't think Lily would like that, James. Poisoning your friends-"

"Have any of you checked the news section of the Prophet yet?" James asked abruptly, cutting them off. He was usually the one to read it, Sirius always took the crossword and Peter read aloud to them from the sports section.

The mood in the kitchen had suddenly switched to tense silence.

Peter shook his head slowly.

Remus glanced away and said, "No. I was checking the weather."

They looked to Sirius.

He was gazing down at his crossword unseeingly. "No, you know I can't," he said in a quiet, sharp voice. He half-laughed. "I'm afraid I'm gonna open it and its gonna say "CONFIRMED: LESTRANGES RESPONSIBLE FOR CROSBY DEATH. Or "BLACK CAUGHT TORTURING MUGGLES. Or its gonna talk about their capture and how Bellatrix Lestrange killed herself rather then let some Auror have the honor." He shuddered and looked up at all of them. "If any of you ever read that, find a way to break it to me gently."

"Padfoot," Remus started quietly. "Your family-"

"They're not my family!" Sirius snapped. Remus just looked at him, apparently unruffled. "Not anymore."

There was a minute's silence.

"Damn it!" Sirius cursed suddenly. "You know what I keep thinking? We were kids once. Shit, I used to run to Regulus' room in the middle of the night when he had nightmares. Should have known then he wasn't strong enough to stand up against our parents..." Sirius' outburst tapered off into silence.

No one said anything. There was nothing to say.

James filled up a plate and set it in front of Sirius.

"Eat, Padfoot," he instructed. He handed Sirius a fork, palm facing upward. Sirius stared for a second at the long, narrow scar that cut diagonally across James' hand. With a hand that had an identical scar, Sirius took the fork and nodded. James clapped him on the back before retrieving Remus' and Peter's plate.

Just as James sat down, a smallish grey owl flew through the open window. All four boys immediately recognized it. James braced himself for having to witness Lily's owl landing in front of Remus.

But instead the owl landed on his shoulder and dropped a letter into his lap. James stared at it in total disbelief for a few moments, oblivious to the hooting of his friends. Forgetting entirely about his breakfast, James lifted the letter from his lap and read it with a grin.

___

Lily folded James' letter with a small smile on her lips. She was about to put it in her drawer but something stopped her. Lips quirking, she returned it to its envelope and very carefully placed it on the low shelf above her desk so that it rested between a photo and a small pink rose in a vase.

Her eyes fell to the photograph and she smiled sadly, bittersweet memories flitting back and forth across her mind. It was a picture of her own Gryffindor class in their third year, on their way back from a grueling Herbology class to judge by the amount of dirt on everyone's robes and faces.

To the far left was Delphi Richards, smiling and waving prettily, dirt smeared across her brow and her body turned and bent towards her best friend, Lalaine Hennessey. Lalaine's photo self was anglerds Delphi and she alternated between smiling and waving at the camera and turning her head to smile coyly at Sirius who had slung his arm around her shoulder. His head - in typical Sirius fashion - was aimed downward towards hers, a lock of hair falling elegantly into his face as he flirted shamelessly. James was next to him, preparing to - Lily remembered - put a jinx on Sirius that would make him croak like a frog when he tried to speak. A wicked gleam was in his eye and his face laughed. The crooked, mischievous grin he kept shooting the camera made Lily smile. The Lily in the picture was laughing at him, too, her arms slung around Remus and Norma, all three of them absolutely covered in dirt. Remus was grinning at the camera and Norma was waving exuberantly.

Lily's heart ached as she looked at Norma. They'd met on the Hogwarts Express and been best friends since. Norma had been different. She'd had crazy ideas and loved to experiment with magic. Her blond hair was always different colors or sticking straight up or gone or dreadlocked and her wide blue eyes watched the world with a level of intelligence most didn't know she possessed. They'd been at once opposites and at once singularly alike.

Norma's dad had drawn her out of Hogwarts when his wife was killed and they'd been on the move since. Lily wasn't sure where they were now. Norma had been forbidden to keep in touch and while she'd managed a letter or two, it wasn't enough.

It wasn't nearly enough.

That had been a year ago.

On Remus' other side was Peter. He seemed to be nursing some sort of injury as his right hand was bandaged, but he was waving cheerfully with his left one. Sirius appeared to be carrying his books for him as he was holding twice as many as everyone else. Last on the row was Vivian St. Clair, a small girl, clutching her books to her chest and smiling shyly at the camera. She was very quiet. To this day, Lily was sure she'd never heard her speak more than three sentences at a time. She was a hell of a Seeker though. James - as her captain - was probably her one friend. He seemed to be the only one she'd talk to.

They'd been so young then.

The time hadn't been easy - You-Know-Who had been in reign for a year when this picture was taken - but none of them had yet been personally wounded by the war, none of them yet understood exactly what war was and what it cost. Since then, Lalaine had been orphaned, Delphi had lost two brothers, Norma had lost a mother and then Lily had lost Norma, James lost his grandparents and a good portion of his extended family, Sirius had lost his entire family - by choice maybe, but lost them just the same. They all had lost countless friends.

They had grown up.

Years sooner then their parents, they were very nearly adults.

Those days - the ones smiling at her from a silver frame - were done.

Her mother's voice broke her reverie.

"Lily! Come down here, sweetheart. Dinner!"

Lily gave the picture a last long look, ran her finger fondly over the edges, and then stepped back. She'd almost turned away, when James' letter caught her eye. Suddenly she smiled.

Yes, they had grown up.

They'd lost childhood naiveté, freedom, innocence a little too early maybe. Maybe they'd been forced to experience things that they shouldn't have been. But they'd gained a lot, too.

They'd gained each other.

___

"Look, I'm sorry, Ren, but there's nothing I can do."

"You don't understand, Harold. I treated this boy. He was burned horribly, in excruciating pain, he died from internal bleeding caused by the fall when the floor fell through. All of this was because of one of your men."

"Richards acted the way he saw fit. He was only trying to scare him into freeing the prisoners."

"Richards set the house on fire!"

"It got out of control! We're lucky we arrived in time to get the prisoners out."

"But not Malish."

"The prisoners were our first priority. We went after him when we'd seen that all of them were safe. Christ, Ren, he was a Death Eater!"

"He was seventeen!"

James struggled to concentrate on his cereal and tune out his parents. It had been like this for awhile. Next to him, Andy had put on her ear phone things and was humming. After a moment, she lifted one side.

"You should really get a pair of these," she said. James nodded. He probably should. They were a new Muggle device that played music. Ted Tonks - Sirius' cousin in law - had brought Andy a pair for Christmas.

The thing was that James knew his parents still loved each other deeply. Even now when they were shouting at one another, there was hurt in both their eyes and remorse that they had to. It was this war and their respective jobs that were tearing them apart.

"What do you want me to do, Ren?" Harold Potter shouted, throwing up his hands. "People are dying. They're hurt and scared. The Aurors are scared. Some of them probably are overreacting but what the hell am I supposed to do about it? They still help people. It's a miracle more of them don't crack with the amount of stress they're under. And we received word yesterday that there are spies in the Auror Agency. Do you know what implications that's going to have?"

An owl tapped at the window. James' parents didn't hear or see it so he got up and let it in. The brown barn owl pressed a letter bearing the Hogwarts seal into his hand and then flew off quickly, apparently as bothered by the angry voices as James was.

Wondering what his parents would do to him if he were to put a Silencing Charm on them, James opened his letter half-heartedly. He'd contact Sirius on his mirror the minute he was done with breakfast. He couldn't take this. Sirius' place might be a hole in the wall but it was quiet.

James unfolded the letter and something shiny and gold fell into his hand. James stared at it in complete shock.

"Dad-" he started. His father hadn't heard him. James turned to his letter for an explanation.

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are extremely pleased to announce that above all the others in your year, you have been elected for the position of Head Boy. Please send a return owl accepting your title as quickly as possible.

Warmest congratulations,

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Albus Dumbledore

Albus Dumbledore

Headmaster

James was convinced Sirius was behind this. Either that or Dumbledore had finally gone off his rocker. The latter was, in fact, proven when a hand written note produced itself as he unfolded the envelope a second time.

James,

I can assure you that I am - at this moment - in complete possession of my faculties and completely capable of making this decision. Your professors are in agreement with me. The vote was unanimous: You are the best candidate for this year's Head Boyship.

At the Closing Ceremony, I told each of you that I'd watched and that I knew. I have watched you closely, James. Like a good lump of dough, you have risen beyond my wildest dreams for you.

Rest easy in the assurance that you do deserve this honor. With your actions this year, you have demonstrated that you are ready for this responsibility and that you are fully capable of shouldering it. It would be doing a disservice to you, the school, and myself were I not to offer this position to you.

And for you not to take it.

The ancient Grecian word for butterfly was also used to express another being - the soul. The Greeks recognized that the soul, like the butterfly, has the extraordinary potential to change. From something as small, common, and seemingly inconsequential as a caterpillar into something truly remarkable.

Keep heart, James. And my deepest regards and congratulations,

Albus Dumbledore

P.S. You will be pleased, I'm sure, to know that this year's Head Girl is none other than Lily Evans. Good luck.

James had to read the letter three times before it sunk in.

He was Head Boy.

Andy had looked up from her toast, taken her headphones off and was watching him closely. "What is it?"

He handed her the badge.

Andy took it, looked at it, and, promptly, dropped it as though it had burned her.

"Merlin, Morgana, and Arthur!" she exclaimed, eyes wide. Then she laughed, a wide grin spreading across her face, reminding James how glad he was they'd made up. "That's awesome! Mum! Dad!"

They didn't hear her. They hadn't noticed anything that was going on not five feet away.

"Mum!" James tried. "Dad!"

They didn't hear him either.

Finally fed up, James shouted louder than both of them,

"Jesus Christ, do you two hear yourselves?!"

Both of them went quiet and looked at him. Various expressions filtered over their faces - realization, shame, and then a grim tightening of their lips that said that still neither of them was going to back down. James set his wand on the counter and said,

"Play."

Then walked out of the room as - on command - his wand played back shouting match after shouting match.

James wasn't there to witness his parents' faces as they listened, nor their expressions when it was done, and Andy was still sitting in her chair, watching them. He wasn't there to see his father's face when he picked up the discarded paper on the table and the gold badge off the floor. Nor his mother's tears of both sorrow at herself and pride for him, muttering "he was trying to tell us. We didn't listen." He didn't see either his dad wrap his arms around her and her turn and bury her head in his chest.

Andy saw all of it and stored it away to tell her brother, a small happy smile on her lips.

___

Lily brushed her hair back from her face and surveyed Petunia. The fifteen year old girl was looking at her with shining eyes and a face that was rosy and bright.

"And then he asked if I wanted to see a movie with him. Isn't that awesome? Of course I said yes though I'll have to ask Dad. I know he said no dating until we were sixteen but it's just a couple months off. And Charles is so amazing. Do you think he'll let me?"

Lily considered it carefully, wanting to give Pet the best advice she could.

"I think he will. If Charles comes and meets him first. And if you act maturely about it."

"Meaning what?&rd/p>

"Meaning minimal giggling, minimal stressing over what to wear-"

"Minimal squealing."

"That too."

They grinned at each other and then Pet sighed happily, throwing herself backwards onto the grass.

"He's so handsome," she declared. "Wait till you see him. He's the handsomest boy I know." Pet propped herself up on her elbow and looked at Lily. "Who's the handsomest boy you know?"

Lily had never really considered it. She tended to not compare people in her mind. If Pet had asked who was handsome, she could have named numerous people. But she'd asked for the handsomest.

"Probably Sirius," Lily answered after a moment. "Sirius Black."

"James' best friend, right?"

"Right."

"James isn't?"

"Isn't what?"

"The handsomest guy you know."

Lily laughed outright.

"What's so funny?" Pet wanted to know.

"Nothing, just...I don't know. James isn't as good looking as Sirius. Not classically anyway but...he is appealing, I suppose. There is just sort of something about him. He has nice eyes."

"And build?"

"And build. Probably better than Sirius' actually because of Quidditch. And he does have a nice smile. And he's got wonderful hands. They're very...I don't know. Great cheekbones, too."

Pet's lips were quirking.

"Why don't you just admit you have a thing for him and be done with it?"

Lily started.

"I don't have "a thing" for him."

"You do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"I've never liked James like that."

"I think you've always liked James like that."

"No," Lily declared, shaking her head back and forth.

"I don't believe you," Petunia said shrewdly. "You've been writing and telling me about him for six years. I think you're more attached than you know."

Lily tried to hold Pet's serious gaze and couldn't. She dropped her eyes and looked at the ground, unconsciously picking up a blade of grass and beginning to shred it methodically.

The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes. Then, after Lily had cleared a neat little spot around her left tennis shoe, Pet spoke again.

"Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"What should I wear?"

___

James Apparated right into Sirius' living room.

"Padfoot?" he called. No answer. Not any intentional one anyway. From the direction of Sirius' bedroom, James heard loud, tell-tale snoring. He walked in and sat on Sirius' bed.

"Padfoot, wake up," he whispered. "Wake up. Sirius." He said louder. "C'mon, I need you." Sirius awoke groggily. Rubbing his eyes, he demanded hoarsely,

"What are you doing here at this ungodly hour?"

"Nine o'clock is hardly ungodly."

"It is for me."

Sirius sat up and peered at him through half-shut eyes. He took in the foot that was tapping impatiently on the floor, the hair more mussed then usual, the eyes that were sparked and knew that something was up.

"What happened?" he asked, finally awake.

James handed Dumbledore's note to Sirius - he'd forgotten the rest of it at home. He knew Sirius would understand. Despite everything, Sirius was the only one who always understood. He would know how important this was.

"Holy shit," he muttered, rising to his feet, still reading. Done, he looked at James who had stood as well. "Prongs, this is..." He started laughing. "What's there to say? You deserve it."

Grinning madly, he took a step forward and spread his arms wide, and hugged James as the only way he could think of to express his satisfaction with the whole situation. Still laughing and pounding James on the back, he pressed a smacking kiss to his forehead and let go, backing away.

"We gotta tell Moony; he'll laugh his ass off."

"Pete, too."

"Head Marauder turned Head Boy - it's a disgrace."

"Did you see that Lily's Head Girl?"

"Course. Didn't expect anything else. That's an awful lot of time you're going to be spending with the charming Miss Evans." Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Shut it, Padfoot. You know as well as I do that-"

"She feels the same way about you and doesn't know it yet? Yeah, I figured that one out."

"Padfoot..."

"Prongs."

Sirius looked at James for a long minute then said,

"James, seriously, if she doesn't love you, she's a hell of a lot stupider then you think she is and not worth your time."

James half-smiled, but shook his head.

"You've got it backwards, Padfoot."

Sirius muttered something profane about stupidity under his breath.

James stuck his hands in his pockets and shot Sirius a grin.

"I'm right and you know it."

"No, you're not," Sirius said, obviously unwilling to drop it on a joke. "You're not right, James. For once...you're just not. I don't have anything backwards." He was quiet for a few minutes, gazing intently at James as though trying to force the thought into his brain.

"You know she laughs more now," he added suddenly. It was half-question, half-statement. "She hadn't really laughed since Norma left. Now she laughs all the time."

James was quiet for a long moment.

"I know," he said finally then strode out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, leaving Sirius to throw up his hands in frustration over the mule-headedness of the best friend he'd ever had and the girl he deserved.

___