Taken Silence

Taken Silence

~Sequel to The Return Gift~

Here we are again, at the start of another year. Potter saved my life once already this school year, and I...I let him do it.

The astronomy tower was overdone anyways; I should have gone to the owlery.

But that time has already passed, and I no longer feel the need to seek the end of my life. The insane chattering, the needless nitpicking, questioning, and comforting has still not ceased, but I have endured it through these months, because he offered me something that no one else would: silence.

He still does, in fact. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but there are times when I just need to be left alone, and suddenly he's there, and he takes me away somewhere quiet, and alone, and I let him. I know I should fight him, I know that some of the places that we go are dangerous, or even forbidden, but still I do not even raise a voice in protest. And we walk. And we enjoy the silence. Not even the creatures of the forest dare intrude on our solitude.

Sometimes I wonder if it is always like that for him, and if it was that silence that drove him to do what he did. He is surrounded by so many people, as I am know - the son of the Dark Lord's right hand man would not go unnoticed - but sometimes I wonder if it is enough. He never seems happy.

Then again, neither do I.

Students are still trickling in, recently returned from their trips home. My home is empty, there is no one there to visit. The only gift I received this year was from HIM, from Potter, and that was a reason to live.

Yes, the only reason I live now is for the silence, if only because dying would take too much effort. Potter made life tolerable, and as such, I will live it.

"Draco, darling, I hope your Christmas wasn't too horrible this year, what with your father gone and your mother run off." If Pansy was any more of an insensitive cow, I would cut her throat myself. I don't need any more reminders of why I shouldn't be allowed to live. Why couldn't she have died with the rest of them? The Slytherin population is down this year.

"I know that times are rough, you should have come to spend the winter hols with my family. Of course, we don't celebrate Christmas like the other wizards around here, but at least you wouldn't have been alone."

Am I ever really alone now? There were constantly people dogging my steps, asking me for answers while I was here, even though there were only teachers and a few students. If it wasn't that freakish cat of a Transfiguration teacher, then it was Dumbledore, or Hooch. I was only grateful for the fact that Snape is still too greatly wounded to hound me for answers to my health, though he should be up and about soon. He is at the Head Table, now, but he doesn't look well.

It took me so much effort just to get away from them, just to find the time to write to Potter, and tell him what it was that I so greatly sought: an end to the animosity. All I had ever wanted was to be his friend, but over five years of jealously was hard to erase. I still wanted to wring the Weasel's throat, and the mudblood so needed a haircut, it wasn't even funny.

"Are you feeling alright?" Pansy's words cut into my mind like a knife, and so begins the sentimental tirade of her and the few that are around us; most have not come to breakfast. "I know how hard it must be to not have your parents around. If there's anything that you need, just know that I'm here for you."

"Draco, you know you can talk to me about anything right? Any, you know, plans to cream Potter at the next match or any hot girls you want to take to the end of year party in the dungeons, or, you know, anything, right?" It was some freakish boy a few years younger than me, Justin or Jake or Johnny or something-or-other. I had hardly spoken to the boy, but the few of us left had felt the need to bond together.

That is, everyone except me. I just wanted out.

A hand lightly brushed against my shoulder, and I turned my head to look into dull green eyes. Potter's eyes.

He looked to the door momentarily. He wanted out too.

I stood, and left, ignoring the cries of my housemates.

We went into the forbidden forest this time. I can only assume that he got us a pass for the class we missed, since it was for that dull half-beast that had taken the place of the former half-giant. Hagrid's replacement loved Harry Potter just as much as the rest of the world.

And he had come from the Forbidden Forest. Some freakish thing with half the body of a horse. A centaur, if memory serves. Guess that's why Potter feels that it's safe to roam the forest like this; he knows where the creatures are that understand him, and the ones that want to eat him.

Hope I'm not freak-food.

This time, we happen upon a lake, and I recognize the area as that we had stumbled upon when we first saw the Dark Lord drinking the blood of the one-horns. Sorry, unicorns. Standing upright and looking over the debris that had piled up, I can see the lake, most likely where the unicorn had been heading when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named stumbled upon him.

Don't know why everyone's so afraid of a bloody name STILL. I mean, it made sense when he was alive, but the bloody git LOST already.

Anyways, the place seems peaceful enough, and the silence is so thick I can almost taste it. It's wonderful, refreshing, and exactly what I - what we - need. I don't know why Potter doesn't like all the attention he receives, he's the Boy-Who-Lived, after all, all his attention is not negative, but maybe it's just that...the chattering is too much, and the silence is too much alone. We are helping each other, I guess. He brings me silence, and I offer company to enjoy the silence with.

Not everything need be said in words.

But those are my own theories, not the true nature of the boy beside me. I doubt anyone will truly know of the shadows that haunt his heart, of the death of his loved ones, of losing his parents at birth and yet still hearing their screams even in his final year at Hogwarts school.

I don't know that I could live with those screams; I seek - I live - in silence.

What is it that the Boy-Who-Lives, the Man-Who-Defeated-Voldemort, lives in?

END