My Soul Mate

Chapter Fourteen - The Christmastide...

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Goom hai kissi ke pyaar mein,

Dil subha shaam,

Par tumhe likh nahin paoon,

Main iska naam,

Hai Ram.

-

Lost in someone's love,

My heart morning and evening,

But I can't tell you,

Who it is.

Oh God.

____________________________________________________________________

October went by quickly, as did November. Things were quite smooth comparatively to the disturbing events of September. The Daily Prophet had printed no nonsense about Hermione and Draco anymore, and thus, they were left at peace. Many students had overcome their disgust towards Hermione, like Lavender, Parvati, Neville, Dean and Seamus. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were behaving perfectly friendly again. But no one bothered about Draco, except Hermione and Ginny. Draco was unruffled by the fact though; he found that Hermione was all that he ever needed. He didn't care about anybody else. He was also glad that he had Ginny as a friend.

Hermione realized that Harry and Ron missed her, but they were either too stubborn to show it to her or apologize. To console herself, she took refuge in thinking that they didn't want to take the trouble of talking to her and hence, they kept on showing that they were unaffected; and for two and a half months, behaving as though Hermione had never existed. Hermione was hurt, but she had become too used to notice and brood at each instance. Considerable distance had emerged between the best friends.

But Ginny, who was in talking terms with both the sides (she didn't inform Harry and Ron about her friendship with Draco) tried to patch things up, in which she had remarkably failed. When she pointed out to Harry and Ron that Hermione was their best friend and a wise girl, and that they were being too harsh with her, they had asked her if she was crazy, thinking that fraternizing with Draco Malfoy was wise. And when Ginny told Hermione that Harry and Ron missed her an awful lot, she said in an agitated voice that they were too obstinate, but after that she added in a defeated one that she had become unwelcome in their world.

Dumbledore had come back from the Order's conference, though Moody didn't, so Lupin continued to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Grubbly-Plank was still teaching Care of Magical Creatures, and Harry had developed a certain loathing for that particular subject, even more than Potions. Snape was actually quite bearable now, since he was busy with his mysterious work (which wasn't playing double agent, Sirius had informed them) and constantly forgot to torture the Gryffindors, though he was quite partial when it came to Draco. After the events of September, it seemed that he had taken an extra liking for the particular Slytherin.

Quidditch had gone on as usual. After losing to Gryffindor, Slytherin won spectacularly against Ravenclaw. It had taken Draco about five minutes to catch the Snitch in that match. When Cho lost to Draco, she had spent the entire night with Harry, calling Draco a lot of names and in which Harry had gladly anticipated.

Harry's dueling training went on easily. He was doing a good job and Dumbledore was quite impressed. The DA was catching up quickly soon too. Hermione had been learning the various spells and charms from Ginny privately because she wasn't attending to the DA's meetings anymore. Draco didn't either. He had rather given a nonchalant expression and said that he learnt those 'rubbish' ages ago. Hermione and Ginny had both challenged him to a duel and they were both defeated in one second flat.

Meanwhile, Draco had been keeping a close eye on Theodore Nott, making sure he was up to no mischief. To Draco's relief, Theodore had made no other move. Nevertheless, Draco was worried about Voldemort. He knew Voldemort would strike out at him for turning back, but he wasn't afraid. He felt quite safe at Hogwarts, but deep in his heart, he knew that Voldemort could get across that barrier. He had done so earlier. But since he hadn't shown any sign of vengeance for two and a half months now, Draco had relaxed somewhat. But he maintained his vigilance - he still had the instincts of a wary Death Eater.

And now were the Christmas holidays. Harry and Ron had left for the Grimmauld Place. Sirius had insisted upon Hermione and Draco coming too, but Hermione turned him down. Sirius hadn't talked to Draco about it, so Draco was in the dark. Hermione had explained to Sirius the present situation among her and Harry and Ron. Sirius had understood, but had made her promise to come to his house on Christmas night at least, along with Draco. Hermione hadn't told Draco anything about it. She knew he wouldn't like to come. She told Sirius that Draco would rather prefer spending his Christmas with his mother at his manor. Sirius had then informed her that Narcissa Malfoy was coming to Grimmauld Place too.

On the morning of the first day of holidays, Hermione, Draco and Ginny (who preferred staying with them, saying that she'll join the Order for Christmas Feast directly and thereafter, stay there) were together in the Slytherin Prefects' dormitory. Some distant relative of Hermione's had expired in France and her parents had to go there. Hermione wanted to go too, but she wasn't close with her deceased aunt and her parents didn't want her to spend the Christmastide in formal mourning, so they didn't take her. Draco, on the other hand, told Hermione that his mother was out in Malaysia and wouldn't turn up before Christmas Eve. He therefore stayed at Hogwarts with Hermione, though he didn't have any particular plans for Christmas. Hermione had deliberately avoided that subject.

They just had their breakfast in the dormitory and Hermione straightaway started doing her Charms homework. Draco and Ginny didn't.

"Come on Hermione," Draco said, "we've got two weeks of holidays. You can do your work later."

"I always complete my homework within the first three days, Draco," said Hermione sternly, "and I think you should do so too."

"Don't worry about that," retorted Draco nonchalantly. "Anyway, Charms is absolute crap. Flitwick isn't teaching anything new."

"Students are actually not taught about the Unforgivable Curses at the age of sixteen," said Hermione lightly, "so I guess you'll have to adjust with the course that is new to the entire student population except you."

"Was that a comment or a compliment?"

"You think that if you'd trained with Voldemort, I'll give you a compliment?" asked Hermione incredulously.

"Everything that concerns me is worthy of laud." declared Draco proudly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and went back to her Camouflaging Charms. She always knew that Draco was quite conceited, but in his own humble way. And strange though it may seem, she liked his style.

Draco however didn't study. He got up from his chair and said resentfully, "All right, if you want to spoil the holidays like this, then go on. I think I'll have to take a stroll around lake with Ginny and without you."

Hermione shut her book in defeat. She knew what Draco had actually meant. He wanted her to go with him. In almost all the things he did, he wanted Hermione to be by his side and she did so whenever possible. Draco hardly noticed if Hermione had any problems, as in if she had to do her homework, something he was never bothered about, but finished each task in time (and this amazed Hermione). When he wanted her, he wanted her, and if she didn't come up to him, he would make a hurt (though fake) face to which Hermione couldn't refuse.

Hermione didn't blame him though. Draco had been devoid of attention and care since childhood and now when he got it, he wanted more. And Hermione was only too happy to give him that. Draco had changed her lifestyle remarkably, but Hermione found herself liking it.

"Draco," she sighed. She didn't mind going with Draco, but the lake seemed too far. She wished that she would be somewhere nearby, so she could come quickly and finish her essay on Camouflaging Charms. "It's mid December," she reasoned, "we'll freeze if we go out."

"Yeah, you may have to worry about that - I'm used to cold weather."

"Then it's best we did our homework."

"Christmas is only two days away, Hermione! Where's the spirit?" asked Ginny.

"That's exactly what I am saying," said Hermione. "Christmas is two days away. Why do we start celebrating from now?"

"You're such a spoilsport!" exclaimed Ginny.

"Don't call me that!"

"Come on, Hermione," said Draco exasperatedly. He leaned forward and snatched the parchment on which Hermione was working. "You work way too hard, you need a break, a good long one."

"But I like working!"

"You may like it but I find that you are sort of taking refuge in it nowadays. And that's because Potter and Weasley are dim and can't help you enjoy yourself. No work till Christmas, and that, is final."

"Draco -" started Hermione, but he caught her off.

"Please, Hermione, for my sake. Can't you give yourself and me three days in a year?"

Hermione didn't know what to say to that, so she kept quiet.

"Please?" pleaded Draco.

"What'll happen if I don't finish my work? All my chances of being Head Girl next year will become slim."

"You have enough time after Christmas," said Draco sternly. "You can work then ... I'll work with you too."

"All right," groaned Hermione. "All right ... but what do we do for two days ahead now?"

"We'll visit Hogsmeade," suggested Draco. "That's quite some village and I know excellent sights over there."

"That sounds like a good idea." chimed in Ginny.

"Fine." said Hermione.

So Draco, Hermione and Ginny set out for Hogsmeade. They went to Zonko's, the joke shop, though Hermione didn't buy anything from there. Draco did, saying that they might come in handy if Harry and Ron become insufferably annoying. They visited the Post Office and wrote quick letters to their parents and posted them. They drank coffee from a bistro, called The Hogsmeade Vesper. After that, they strolled down the streets and watched the Hogsmeade Park (which was magically prevented from being covered in the snow). Wizards were decorating numerous enormous Christmas Trees there. They were putting up beautiful ornaments. Festoons lined the holly trees. They were sprinkled with glitters, which Draco informed Hermione and Ginny that they generally refused to blow out for days. Roses were planted that glimmered and sparkled. Golden fairies flew about and sang Noels to the passers-by, where as silver owls dropped wrapped sweets on them. Children were screaming and shouting, chasing after the owls for more sweets, while little girls sang the carols with the fairies. Mothers with their toddlers were pointing out to the greeting Santa Claus on each tree. Everybody seemed in a joyous and merrymaking mood.

Then Hermione, Draco and Ginny had lunch in The Garden Inn, a huge and cozy cottage-type cabaret, which Draco had suggested. He promised them excellent food and decorations that came out to be true. A small orchestra was playing there. There were all special Christmas menus and it had become difficult for them to choose their items for lunch.

After lunch, they visited the sweet shop, Honeydukes. Ginny bought a large stock for Harry, Ron, Fred and George. Then, they went to the Hogsmeade clubhouse, The Hamlet. They played some wizarding games, which were close to what Hermione thought as billiards. The only difference was that they used their own wands there.

In the evening, they went to The Three Broomsticks and had large tankards of butterbeer. Then, they returned back to Hogwarts after a long day.

____________________________________________________________________

Tired and exhausted, Draco and Hermione slumped into the davenports in the Prefects' living room. Ginny had gone out to visit Luna Lovegood (she was at Hogwarts since her father was in the Grimmauld Place too, as he was an Order member also).

"I feel really worn out," said Hermione, "whole day roaming about..."

"Yeah," said Draco as he drained a glass of water, "but it was great fun all the same. I enjoyed a lot."

"Right, I did too."

"I told you that living with me is fun and cool," said Draco, turning to Hermione and smirking. "Bet you never had a day like this with Potter and Weasley."

"I don't disagree," said Hermione lightly, "but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy staying with them."

"Hey, no offence meant." said Draco.

"I didn't say that, did I? Anyway, I am going for to freshen up."

And with this, Hermione got up and walked into the Gryffindor Prefects' dormitory. Draco bit his lip; he hoped he hadn't hurt Hermione. Hermione might be angry with Harry and Ron, but she still liked them a lot. And this was something that Draco didn't understand. For him, Harry and Ron were vile and despicable. Before, Draco thought them to be show-off saints. But now he decided that they were imbecilic and unfeeling.

Nevertheless, Draco didn't want to upset Hermione in any case. So he waited there for Hermione to come, so that he could apologize.

____________________________________________________________________

Hermione stepped in for a quick hot shower. It had been an exhausted day, though she had loved every moment of it. Perhaps Draco was right, she needed a break. Right now, she was grateful that she went out with him and Ginny. She felt quite at ease with him, more than Harry and Ron.

Hermione had long discovered that Draco was very different from Harry and Ron. He had different things to worry about, different stresses and different tasks to complete, which did not include saving the world from evil. He was an upright man, which could be called as pride as well. He had never disclosed his feelings and emotions to anyone other than Hermione. He had a rather clear heart, but no doubt, he could get really nasty when it came to people he despised. Nevertheless, Hermione adored him. He was someone who understood her, unlike Harry and Ron.

Hermione smiled to herself. She liked Draco a lot in a way she couldn't describe. He made her feel young and energetic, but in case of Harry and Ron, Hermione felt more like their mother, running after them, scolding them and warning them most of the time. Draco hardly ever needed anybody's advice; he was intelligent and witty, and always fought his own battles. He had a strong will power and was more mature than boys of sixteen years usually were. He liked Quidditch, but wasn't a maniac like Ron and Harry, discussing every possible minute about it that they got. They liked Hermione no doubt, but unlike to Draco, they didn't make her feel important. They had always treated her as a sister, though sometimes, Hermione wasn't sure about it. Harry and Ron usually charged her first of her actions, but when Draco did so, he never accused her, but questioned her first. Harry and Ron wanted her, but Draco showed her that she was vital in his life and usually demanded attention and care, as if she was family. Draco made her feel as if she was not only his best friend, but also a major part of his soul.

Hermione stepped out of the shower and dried herself with a towel. It was only then when she realized that she hadn't brought Draco a Christmas gift. In fact, she hadn't bought anyone any a present. She made it a point to go shopping the following day.

She decided that she would get Ginny something that Harry would notice. She hadn't left out Harry and Ron. She would get each of them broomstick care packages. The one she had got for Harry three years ago had exhausted completely, and Ron didn't have one. Of course, she wouldn't give it to them directly - she would give to them anonymously. For Fred and George, she could get an Adviser's Book on Home Made Jokes from Zonko's. Percy, who had now apologized to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, could do with some good pens; after all, pens were more comfortable to use than quills and Percy was busy writing most of the time. Then, there was Sirius. Hermione supposed he could do with some sweets, since he usually didn't have time for those. And there was Hagrid.

Hermione froze midway through toweling her hair. She had not realized what she was thinking about. She felt a stab of sadness, but she quickly pushed it away. No matter what, her thoughts were centered on Draco.

Hermione resumed drying her hair and thinking about the presents. She could give her parents some good magical fiction; they would be greatly amused. And finally, Draco.

She had no idea about what to gift to him. There was nothing that he lacked. He probably had fifty broomstick care products locked away in his cupboard. He would not be interested in jokes, and anyway, he had bought loads that very day. Hermione felt a bit stupid at presenting him with pens. He didn't even want sweets - he hated things that were too saccharine.

Hermione knew that whatever she would give him, he would accept gladly. But he was special to Hermione and she wanted to give him something that would be invaluable. She wanted to give him something that would show him how much importance he held in her life, something that Hermione could say thanks for his support with, something that would never exhaust.

After five minutes of hard thinking, Hermione decided upon one thing. She would give him a painting.

Hermione was excellent at drawing and had been taking lessons ever since she remembered. It was a hereditary skill from her maternal side. Hermione had done innumerable paintings, but her lessons were arrested when she came to Hogwarts. But she took classes positively in the summer holidays.

Hermione thought that this would be the perfect gift for Draco. She would give him one of her best ones, so he would know his importance for her and she could thank him for the wonderful times she had spent with him too. She could easily go to her house by Floo Powder, since it was connected to the network, and get it.

In fact, she was already imagining Draco getting up from his bed and watching in awe, her mural.

____________________________________________________________________

Ginny entered the Prefects' quarters to find Draco alone in the living room, deep in thought. She had just been to see Luna. They couldn't keep much contact since the professors were making them work hard for the O.W.L.s. So she had just dropped by when she, along with Draco and Hermione, had come back from Hogsmeade. But it proved to be that Luna was studying gigantic hydras that her father claims to have sighted. Ginny wasn't too interested, so she came back within fifteen minutes or so.

Draco looked up when Ginny entered. "I didn't expect you so soon,"

Ginny explained to him about the giant hydras as she took a seat next to him. He didn't look any interested either.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" she asked him.

"Er ... waiting for Hermione."

"Where's she?"

"She's gone for a fresh up."

There was a trace of guilt in his voice that didn't go unnoticed by Ginny.

"You both didn't have a row or something, did you?" she asked tentatively.

"Hell no! It's just that I said something about your brother and Potter. She went away ... I guess she became upset."

Ginny smiled. "I'm sure she isn't upset," she assured him. "No doubt, all your tirades about Harry and Ron are irritating, but she doesn't make such a fuss, really."

"I hope so..."

There was a moment of silence. The fire crackled merrily in the furnace and the snow fell heavily outside. Suddenly, Ginny spoke up.

"Draco," she said, "what are you getting Hermione for Christmas?"

Draco gave her a tired look. "Don't ask me," he said, "I have been thinking for about a week now but I just can't come up with something good and special."

"I agree; getting Hermione something is really difficult. She would be ecstatic about books, but you know, she already has loads of them, and sometimes, you get bored with the same things. And she has no material interests at all."

"Yeah, not like common girls. Pansy had always come up to me and demanded a designer and expensive dress robe or necklace. And d'you know, this is what I love about Hermione. Charming simplicity."

Ginny smiled again. With every word that he spoke about Hermione and Hermione about him, she became surer that those two were falling for each other. She had been thinking of telling this to both of them and throwing caution to the wind, she said, "Draco, what do you feel about Hermione?"

Draco raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean, Ginny?"

"I meant, what do you think about her?"

Draco looked unconvinced but he replied, no matter.

"Well, she is the best girl I've ever seen or met. She is intelligent, caring, loving and has the best interests at heart for everyone."

"Is that all?" said Ginny, looking rather disappointed.

Draco wasn't fooled, he knew what Ginny perfectly meant, but he let her carry along, though what he spoke was the truth.

"No, there's more to her," he said quietly. "She means everything to me. She is my first and best friend. I know that she'll never betray me or walk out on me. She lightens me up when I am sad and adds to my joy with her presence. She gives me attention and care, things that hardly anyone has ever given me. She makes me feel different things, things which I have never felt before, like love, happiness, guilt, sorrow ... everything. When I look back at yesterday, I am calling her a Mudblood. But today, I call her my best friend. She has changed me completely. I don't think I have to explain it all to you."

"No, you don't have to. I understand."

"I'm glad. And the thing that I love the most in her is that she understands me. She knows what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. It's as if she can see right through me. There's perhaps nothing that I have ever hid from her. I am a book to her, a book that she has learnt by heart. It's like ... she's a part of my soul."

"You know what," said Ginny, grinning widely, "you have actually been telling me about what you feel about her, not what you think about her."

Draco didn't reply. Ginny was looking at him, as if trying to say something without actually speaking. Draco wasn't that naïve. He knew perfectly well what she was thinking about.

Finally, Ginny voiced it out.

"Don't think that I am crazy, Draco," she said slowly, "but honestly, I think ... I think you have fallen in love with her."

Draco knew what was coming and therefore, didn't look even a bit surprised. But there were more to his tranquility.

It was his next words that actually took Ginny by surprise.

"I think you're right," he said simply.

Ginny gaped at him. Nothing could have prepared her for his admission.

"I-I am glad," she stammered nonetheless, "that you realize what you feel."

"I am not," said Draco. He was laying it out for the first time in front of anyone. "I have never loved anyone in this sense," he went on, "no girl ever. There were lots around me earlier, but I never felt the same way I do for Hermione. Hell, I don't even know what love means or what it actually is. I started feeling the same things for her long ago, but I am sort of ... afraid of love. What is love?"

"Love is friendship," answered Ginny. "True, unwavering and forever lasting friendship."

Draco looked at her uneasily. "I don't want to get carried away," he said, "by just an infatuation."

"But there is lust involved in infatuation. Love never demands that. Do you feel lewd when you see her or warm and satisfied?"

"Both." confessed Draco.

"Well, it could be hormonal if you do feel a bit lewd," reasoned Ginny, "but still, don't you want her to be by your side every time or do you just want to bed her?"

"No!"

"Then think Draco, think. You say that she makes you feel different, you say that she understands you, you say that she means everything to you. She is the only one you have, other than your mother. What else do you want in a partner?"

"Nothing else," agreed Draco, "but ... but what if she doesn't feel the same way about me? What if ... what if it's Potter ... or your brother."

"I think she feels the same way about you too. She can assess feelings and emotions better than anyone. Right now, I can tell you that it's not Harry. I guarantee you that. She'd never go out with him. And nor is it Ron. She never felt about him that way and I'll tell you something ... Ron does not deserve her. He cannot think for himself and sometimes, he is really mean."

"I knew that from the first time I saw him," said Draco as-a-matter-of-factly.

"But he is a good person," said Ginny sternly. "And you know what, not infrequently does Hermione get away from him if she can. She is a sensible person and Ron clearly is not."

"What makes you feel that I deserve her?" asked Draco. "I have always hurt her, her friends and her family. Hagrid died because of me. Do you think that she can ever love a person who has murdered her friend?"

"Yes. Yes, she can love a person who has murdered her friend as long as it's you. And I know what you feel for each other. I see it in your eyes and I hear it in your words. And do you know that she was almost sick worrying about you when you were in the hospital wing? She had more than concern for you, I could feel it."

Draco furrowed his forehead. He knew Ginny was correct, but he felt afraid of loving Hermione.

"I'm scared," he said after a long time, "I'm scared I'll lose her if I tell her that I love her."

Ginny got up from her chair. "You'll lose her even if you don't tell her that you love her," she said firmly. "If you don't tell her now, somebody else will win her heart. So think about it ... If you say everything to her, she can be yours, but if not, then you will lose her."