Sometimes It Be That Way

...The Confrontation

*

'Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...'

~ Sarah McLachlan, Fallen

*

Ever since Ginny had been a little girl, maybe ever since she could remember, she had always seen her mother writing in a certain little black book that was supposed to have held all of her secrets. Ginny had always been tempted to open this book and read what her mother had written, but even though the same genes that made the twins mischievous ran through her veins, she always came back to the same conclusion each time she felt curious as to what was inside: these were her mother's secrets and should not be messed with.

She had always had respect for her mother. Of course, who wouldn't? This was a woman who was able to raise six sons and a daughter with her husband and no one else --not even her parents (until they finally came around)-- without having nervous breakdowns all of the time or leaving suddenly and without warning. Molly had this aura that she was able to build that made even the most cynical of people believe her. And as Hermione liked to put it since she was so interested in witchcraft in the Muggle world, Molly was the Mother, the Maiden, and the Crone all at once.

So this was the reason why Ginny never touched her mother's diary all of these years, even though she was so tempted to. This was the reason that, when Molly finally decided to end her infatuation with writing in a diary, it was hidden up in the attic where no one but the ghoul and those who knew about it --which were Molly and Ginny, of course-- could find it in that little secret compartment.

Ginny pulled out the diary and ran her fingers over the edge of the cover. The quite filled book's cover was cracking and peeling away in some areas, leaving many bumps and ridges. Many pages were stuck inside precariously, showing that often Molly had no time to sew new pages into the book's binding. A small faded nameplate on the front cover of the book had the initials 'M.D.' stamped in red ink. Ginny frowned and opened the cover for the first time.

It was like being in a dream. A dream world where a younger Molly Weasley was writing down everything she saw and remarking on everything she did. Neat, flowing writing in blue ink filled the pages from side to side. Paragraphs, periods, semicolons, quotes. Here and there, a separation between ideas with little stars or half-moons. Dates headed each entry, also neatly written. Sometimes there was a change in the colour of the ink.

But Ginny closed the book. She sighed and clutched it to her chest before deciding that it might be best to go back downstairs to the others, face her brothers, and get the whole confrontation thing over with before her parents worry again about where she was. She didn't want to put them through that again.

After closing the door to the attic, the book still clutched against her chest, she walked slowly down the stairs, dreading each moment that brought her closer to that confrontation she felt she was going to regret. She could almost picture it clearly in her mind, the looks of disappointment and shock on her brothers' faces. The face that stuck out to her the most was Harry's. She could see his face forming an expression of utter shock, his knuckles going white before he turns to look at her parents to check their expressions, most likely wondering if they knew that he was most definitely the father. Then he would follow her and question her about what he had just heard for the rest of the night and she would most likely yell at him to go away.

Ginny stopped on the stairs. She couldn't do this. She couldn't just go down there into the kitchen and drop a bombshell like that on her brothers and Harry. It was bad enough that she had to tell her parents, let alone after she had run away. She was even starting to feel a little sympathetic to Harry now that he was going to hear some news that would probably push him over the edge, or even more.

She closed her eyes and started to count to ten. One... she willed herself to move her foot. Two... again, the willing thing. Three... 'Move, dammit!' she thought. Four... are those noises from the kitchen? Five... she had to tell them now and just get it over with. Six... 'Move!' Seven... 'Just get this over with!' Eight... 'But what about my brothers? What will they think?' Nine... 'Just go!' Ten...

"Ginny?" Hermione called from the stairs below her. Ginny took a deep breath and opened her eyes, looking down at Hermione's sympathetic face. Hermione cocked her head to the side and looked Ginny over, scrutinizing. "Where'd you go?"

"Um," Ginny faltered. She gave a weak smile that she hoped would pass off as courage. "Exploring, I guess. I had to get my mind off... what's going to happen."

Hermione returned the smile somewhat stronger and went up the stairs further before hooking her arm through Ginny's. "C'mon, let's get this over with," she said and half-pulled Ginny down the stairs. At first, Ginny hesitated and tried to remain where she was. But since Hermione was older and stronger, she gave up immediately and let Hermione bring her down the stairs where, at the bottom, she was nearly bulldozed over with five brothers, Bill, Fred, George, Percy and Ron. She was pulled away from Hermione, and nearly dropped Molly's diary in the process, retrieving it just in time as her brothers all hugged her at once.

Having five brothers hug at once is not as easy as it sounds. First, you have to have a sufficient amount of oxygen saved up for that moment so that you can hold your breath as long as your brothers are nearly smothering you. And second, Ginny hadn't been prepared, which she should have been because she should have known that her brothers would react this way once they saw her. She cursed her mental state at the moment for helping to forget to save up some oxygen and tried to pull away. When that didn't work:

"Uh, a little oxygen would help here," she squeaked. Startled, all of her brothers thankfully got the message and jumped back, and it was only then that Ginny noticed that Harry was leaning against a counter, watching. Ginny shied away from his watchful eyes that seemed to be wanting to capture hers and gave a weak smile to her brothers. "Thanks," was all she could muster out.

Stifling a sigh, she turned away and went to sit in a chair at the kitchen table awkwardly, hiding the book in her lap underneath. Hermione sat down next to her and everyone else followed suit with Harry sitting on the other side of Hermione. Hermione glanced at him coldly, Ginny noticed, and looked away leaving Harry to be a little mystified. He looked questioningly at Ginny who quickly looked away, her cheeks blushing for no reason that she could comprehend.

Molly, the only person no sitting down, was cooking dinner on the stove, her wand doing most of the work. Ginny could feel her mother's eyes on her but didn't look up to meet them, wishing that her mother would just get it over with and tell them. After all, Ginny had made a deal with her parents that she would come home if they were the ones who brought up the subject of her being pregnant first.

Dinner was served quickly. Throughout the meal, Ginny felt a tense atmosphere in the air surrounding her. She could feel her brothers' curiosity and anticipation. She could sense her mother's worry, and her father's quick eating told her that he was nervous. Harry seemed just as curious as her brothers and would look at her every few seconds. The only person in the room completely sated and relaxed was Hermione, who seemed to be thinking about something else because she kept looking at Ron every few minutes. It seemed to Ginny that Ron was trying to avoid Hermione's eyes, as if he knew that she was casually glancing his way. Ginny happily distracted herself with thoughts about this new attraction between her brother and Hermione.

But it didn't last. When dessert didn't come, Ginny finally looked up from her plate where she had been swishing the remnants of her food around nervously and found her mother standing, an anxious look at her face. When everyone else noticed this, they all looked up at Molly as well.

"There will be no dessert today," Molly stated, her voice calm, and a little cold. Ginny could hear the anxiety in her mother's voice as she remembered younger days. Thinking about what her mother could have written about that time in her diary, Ginny felt for it nervously and held the book tight. "I'm afraid that I have something to tell you which is too important to put off any longer." She paused again and Ginny took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She looked around and saw everyone's eyes glance at her curiously. She took another deep breath and looked down at her plate, not willing to meet their eyes any longer.

"The reason your sister ran away was-" Molly stopped there. She seemed to be debating something and Ginny looked up, afraid of what she might see in her mother's face: would it be disappointment or anger? Had her mother changed her feelings toward her suddenly? Suddenly, Ginny's mind was racing her pulse was racing, her heart thumping faster and faster until she felt it would literally jump out of her body and run away. She wondered if anyone else could hear the beating of her heart, racing as her adrenaline rushed. The anticipation, the nervousness for the confrontation's arrival, freaked her out so much that she was considering running for it for the second time in her life.

She wasn't much of a quitter. Hell, she would gladly raise this baby if it didn't mean quitting. But that fact was, she was too scared. She was too angry at herself for getting pregnant, too freaked out wondering if she was actually going to be a good mother. She had no way of knowing whether this baby was going to love her and that scared her to death.

Then, there was everyone else's reactions to think about. What would they do? Would they reject her? Would they actually get off their butts and help her? Or would they say, 'Nah, it's your fault you got this way and now you'll just have to deal with the consequences.' Wildly, she looked around, her heart beating even faster each second. What would she say to them? What would she do? How will she get through this?

It was all just a bad nightmare. Yes, that was what it was. It was just a nightmare where everyone she loved rejected her and she will wake up any second, back in her own body and her own life, and realize that she wasn't pregnant anymore and everyone still loved and adored her as the youngest Weasley who was innocent and still a virgin.

But Molly smiled. She caught Ginny's eyes and gave her a smile, a sympathetic smile. Ginny froze as she watched as many emotions filled her mother's eyes. Sadness, happiness, regret, pain, heartache, tiredness, emptiness, everything under the sun that you could possibly feel went through her mother's eyes at that moment and Ginny somehow knew that it was going to be okay.

And Ginny said, "I'm pregnant."