Broken

I See With Different Eyes

Harry held Ginny's hand as they walked across the street to the restaurant. Ginny was nervously tugging at her hair with her other hand and feeling foolish. 'We look like people in love, which we are not,' she thought to herself. Ginny wondered if her hand was sweaty and what she should do about it. Finally Harry opened the restaurant door for Ginny. They were immediately seated and handed menus.

"What looks good to you?" asked Harry.

"Mmm, I dunno. I think I might have some eggs and potatoes." Ginny skimmed the menu and found something that looked good to her.

"Where's that? That sounds good." Harry looked over his menu and tried finding it. Ginny watched as he helplessly looked over the menu. Finally, seeing that he couldn't find it, she got up from the table and walked behind him. The smell of lilies floated over to him.

"Here." Ginny pointed to a spot on the menu below pancakes. "It has tomatoes and cheese, too. There are fried eggs on top."

Harry looked up at her. "Thanks." He smiled at her and Ginny realized that his breath whispered across her neck. He was close enough to kiss her neck, if he wanted. Did he want to? Harry wondered.

'Much too close! I don't want him getting the wrong idea about me.' Ginny smiled back at him and went to her seat.

"So you early birds ready to order?" An older woman waited next to Ginny's seat, with her pen poised in her hand.

"Yes. I'd like some orange juice and your hobo platter." Harry handed the menu back to the waitress and looked over at Ginny.

"Same for me thanks." Ginny smiled at her and handed the menu back to the waitress as well.

The waitress nodded and commented, "You two are hungry this morning. Guess you must've worked up an appetite earlier." With a wink she left the table, leaving Ginny staring astonished at Harry.

"What does she think we've been up to?" asked Ginny, looking back at the waitress.

"Relax Gin. We're wearing work out gear. She probably thinks we came back from a run." Harry was laughing internally, thinking she still abided by her mother's rules.

Ginny seemed to calm down. "I guess. I mean, it shouldn't really matter what she thinks anyway."

"Anyway, what would be wrong if she thought that about us? We're on a date aren't we?" Harry looked across the table and took Ginny's hand in his own.

Harry watched as Ginny squirmed in her seat. "Are we?" she asked pointedly.

"I'd like to think so. I like you Ginny. I hope you like me too. I was hoping to see more of you." Harry continued to hold her hand. He hadn't planned on playing this part, being the attentive suitor. But he had been unable to resist since taking her hand. It was soft and she smelled good. She smelled like lilies and hyacinths, even a bit like leaves. She had a wonderful feminine sort of outdoorsy smell he liked. He suddenly wanted her to see him as more than a friend as perhaps a boyfriend.

"I think I'd like that, perhaps, if I knew you better." Ginny pulled her hand away from his own and looked at him. "I know nothing about you except your name and your occupation. What else can you tell me about yourself?"

Shit. He should've thought this out before he asked Ginny out. What could he reveal about himself that wouldn't let her realize he was her friend Harry Potter? "Well, I'm an only child. My parents died a few years ago. I just moved to the area, so I don't really know anyone here. My family is rather small, just my uncle and me." He looked at Ginny, at a loss for words.

Ginny's face lit up. "It's nice that you see your family. My family lives far away, in another world it seems sometimes. I have six brothers. Can you imagine that?" Ginny laughed after saying that.

"Really? Does everyone in your family have ginger hair or is it just you?" Harry felt stupid asking questions he already knew the answer to. Putting up this façade was so phony.

Ginny laughed again. "Everyone has red hair. My mum, dad, all my brothers. I hate it."

Harry reached across the table and fingered a lock of her hair. "I think it's rather beautiful," he said softly, looking into her eyes.

Ginny's face flushed and was about to say more when the waitress arrived with their orange juice. Ginny gratefully accepted it and took a large sip, trying to avoid looking at Harry's eyes. Harry sipped his orange juice as well and then fiddled with his silverware. "So, you come from a large family, you're studying to be a doctor, what else can you tell me about yourself?"

"There's really not much to know. What you see is what you get." Ginny watched as Harry picked up the knife from his silverware and began twirling it in his fingers, as if it was a baton. Ginny was suddenly reminded of eating breakfast in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Why had that image come unbidden to her mind?

Harry leaned close to her. "The same goes for me. I'm just an ordinary bloke. I like soccer; I work too much and sleep too little. I just want the opportunity to get to know you, Gin."

Gin, he had called her Gin. Not many people nowadays called her Gin. Ginny blinked and looked at him. Why did this man feel like he could be on such familiar terms with her when they hardly knew each other? Perhaps this was how muggles were. She hadn't dated in the muggle world. Or maybe this guy really liked her. 'Stop being so defensive and suspicious', she told herself. 'Just enjoy your date. He's a nice guy who likes you.'

Breakfast soon arrived and Harry and Ginny made chit chat over their meals. Ginny was pleased to discover that Harry had the same sense of humor as her and was easy to talk to. As they ate breakfast, she told him about her family members and described each one. She regaled him with tales of her childhood and he heard stories about the Weasley family he had never known. The more and more he heard from Ginny, the more time he wanted to spend with her. It was odd, working, as an auror didn't lend Harry much time for his friends. He rarely saw Ron and Hermione anymore. They owled each other at least once a week, but it wasn't the same as seeing each other on a regular basis. Harry had always thought that the ache he felt when he was alone was the result of missing his friends.

Now, after spending time with Ginny Weasley he realized it was not a simple hunger for genuine companionship. It was the desire for love. He had always envied Ron and Hermione for being able to turn their close friendship into some closer. Often Harry found himself having feelings for women he did not know very well. A good example of this had been his failed relationship with Cho Chang. Was the basis for a good relationship friendship? Harry had rarely tried to be friends with many people, let alone women. Harry knew that Ron and Hermione's relationship worked because they had been friends first and later lovers. It was a mutual respect for each other that kept them together. Could, should he, try the same with Ginny?

"I'm sorry. I must have talked your ear off by now. What about you?" Ginny looked into Harry's eyes and waited for a response.

Harry fiddled with his eggs and looked down at his plate. "What's to say? My family was never close. I'm like the black sheep of my family. I don't see them often."

Ginny noticed Harry's sudden change of tone. Before he had sounded happy and interested, now he sounded sullen and angry. "Me either." She took his hand in her own and rubbed it, trying to comfort him.

Harry looked up. "What? Why not? You obviously love them. Why don't you see them more often?" He wanted to know why Ginny had deliberately shunned her family.

"My life has not always been easy Will. My past is full of mistakes. One of them cost me something very dear to me. I just can't face my family after that." Ginny looked out the window of the restaurant, avoiding his gaze.

"Surely they would forgive you?" Harry tried to catch Ginny's attention.

Ginny continued to look out the window. "They would Will. But I can't forgive myself."

"What could you have done that would cause you so much pain?"

Ginny looked at Harry. "Nothing I care to talk about ever again. I'm sorry Will. I wish I could tell you, but I just can't. It's too painful. I don't like thinking about it."

Harry decided to leave Ginny alone about it. If she wanted to tell him about her wand being snapped, she would. Besides, she really barely knew him. If and when she was ready, she would tell him. Harry decided to change the subject. "Well, it looks like we're both finished here. Let me pay the check and we can get out of here."

Ginny nodded and continued to gaze out of the window. When the bill was paid and Harry came back, Ginny was smiling at him. "I'm sorry Will. I appreciated that you listened to me. I'm sorry for being so depressing."

Harry waved her words away. "Don't worry Ginny. I understand completely. I'm happy to learn more about you. I will be ready to listen whenever you need to talk." He put his hand out to help her stand up from the table.

"Thanks." Ginny's face colored slightly and Harry was happy to see that she hadn't lost that habit. "What time is it anyway?"

Harry squinted at the clock. The glamour he and Remus used affected most things very well. Somehow, his vision wasn't great after using the spell. He didn't need to wear his glasses, but seeing things from far away was still difficult. "Uh, I can't tell."

Ginny momentarily panicked. 'Can't he read a clock? Am I on a date with a dummy?' "Uh, why's that? Is there something in the way?"

Harry felt embarrassed, as he answered, "No I didn't wear my glasses today."

'Oh! Is that all?' "I have never seen you wearing glasses. Do you really need them?"

"For seeing things far away I do. I usually wear them if I'm driving or for things like that. I know it seems awfully vain not to wear them if I need them." Harry hoped she wouldn't think of any other bespecalled people she knew during this story.

"Oh, my brother Percy was like them. Except that he wore his all the time because he thought they made him look smart." Ginny laughed at this memory. "I don't think you're vain. You have lovely eyes. They're so blue. Why hide them behind glasses?"

Harry had to stop himself before saying, "Blue? Are you insane woman? They're green! Like a fresh pickled toad, don't you remember?" But then he remembered that he was using a stranger's face. "Oh thanks," was all he said. He looked into the glass across from them and saw this stranger's face. The one Ginny was becoming attracted to; the face he was telling lies with. How could he continue to date her when he wasn't the person she thought he was? Harry ran his fingers through his neat brown hair.

"Stop! You'll ruin your hair. It looked so nice earlier."

Again Harry was startled and then realized he no longer had messy black hair, but straight neat brown hair. He felt alienated from who he really was and wanted to see his own face again soon. Even more he wanted to show his own face to Ginny. Harry grinned awkwardly at Ginny. "Shall we go home then?"

Ginny tilted her head at Harry, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just a bit of a stomachache. I ate too much." He forced a laugh and grabbed Ginny's hand again. She took his in her own and they walked out of the restaurant. "Shall I see you home?"

Ginny colored and smiled. "I'd like that, thanks." So it was this time that Ginny did the leading and it was Harry that followed. The walk home was silent. Both were thinking and enjoyed the fact that the other did not force conversation. Finally they reached Ginny's building. Ginny fumbled for her keys in her pocket. When she finally had them, she turned to Harry.

"Thank you for breakfast. I had a nice time." She turned to go into the building when Harry stopped her.

"Can I see you again?" he asked.

Ginny smiled. "Yes, please." Then she leaned down and kissed his cheek. Again Harry was overcome with a mixture of happiness at receiving a kiss, but also guilt because he was fooling Ginny. Deciding to ignore his feelings of guilt, he leaned down and kissed Ginny lightly on her lips. When he pulled away, Ginny was biting her lip and smiling. She fumbled in her pockets and found a scrap of paper. Then she walked inside the lobby of the building briefly. When she came out, she had a small pencil. "Here's my number. Call me when you want to go out."

Harry put it into his pocket and looked at her. "I'll call tomorrow. Is that okay with your schedule?"

"Perfect." Harry smiled again. He kissed her again briefly and turned to walk home. "Goodbye Gin."

Ginny watched until Harry was out of sight. "Goodbye Will."