No Ordinary Love

No Ordinary Love

By Time and Tide

Chapter Seven: Advice

Walking into the Leaky Cauldron, Remus could still feel Tonks staring at him through the brick and mortar that now separated them. He knew in his mind that he was doing the right thing, but his heart refused to accept it.

Seeing her again certainly hadn't helped matters, either. She had looked mostly like her true self, which was unusual for her. Normally she would alter her appearance when out in the public eye. Remus recalled her saying that she did it to mask her true identity, but he strongly suspected it was a long held defense mechanism. He believed that she did it to hide herself from the outside world. Seeing the real her reminded him of just how attractive he thought she was, and how the feel of her soft lips upon his made him forget that evil existed in the world. Seeing her again had weakened his resolve greatly, and he knew that he would be seeing her again that very evening at the Order meeting, and it may nearly break him.

Try as he might, Remus could not get the image of Tonks' body intertwined with his own out of his mind. He also became aware that it would soon be obvious to any passerby what it was that he was thinking about. Robes could only conceal so much, you know. He would have to do something fast. Suddenly, the solution dawned on him. He would utilize the method men had been employing since the dawn of time to combat such problems. As luck would have it, he was even in the ideal place to do it.

He would get drunk.

Taking a seat at the bar, Remus held up three fingers to Tom the bartender. This signified that he wanted three fingers of firewhiskey. Knowing that Remus seldom ever requested anything more than a single shot, the experienced tender of the taps knew something was amiss. When you had tended bar as long as Tom had, you didn't need magic to know when someone had a problem of the heart.

"Here you are, Remus. Not like you to try and compete with Hagrid in drinking. What's the lass's name?"

Remus threw back the generous amount of alcohol and felt his throat and stomach become numb. He looked forward to the rest of his body- and mind- following suit.

"No, I'd never be fool enough to try and match Hagrid, Tom. Drinking from a bucket never appealed to me. And what makes you think I've got a problem with the lasses?"

Tom refilled Remus' glass with slightly less firewhiskey and handed it to him with a knowing, albeit toothless, smile.

"Come off it, Remus. I was serving pints to love's casualties when you were still in nappies. James had the same look on his face that you do now when he was chasing around after Lily. Hell, you and Sirius used to tease him something awful about it, I may not have a pair of bristols like Madam Rosemerta, but I know when a bloke is after a bit of crumpet. So, who are you setting your cap to, eh?"

Remus sighed as he remembered that there was indeed something worse than being alone and miserable: being miserable around other people.

"I'm fine, Tom, really. Just a bit down, is all. I don't really have time for a relationship, anyway. Helping Dumbledore keeps me pretty busy, and that suits me just fine."

Tom refilled Remus' once again empty glass and shook his head.

"Too busy? Merlin's brass balls, what is it with young people these days? When I was a young man I was always ready for romance. Well, up until I got married. Not much point after that. Make hay while the sun shines, me old lad. Now, what's your plan to win her over?"

Remus was now very much wishing that he could've gone to Grimmauld to get drunk.

"I don't know what to do, Tom. I honestly have no idea."

"Well, for starters, you could buy a mate a pint."

Remus placed his now throbbing head in his hands. Of all the people in the world, the last person he wanted to talk with now was...

"The usual, Dung?"

"Ta, guv. How's me credit?"

Tom quickly let go of the rarely used Pig's Eye Scrumpy tap.

"Barely good enough for a saucer full of loo water."

Dung grimaced at the obvious look of disdain he was now receiving from the normally jovial barman. Paying bar tabs was never his strong suit.

"Come on guv, what about that time I got rid of all them rats in the basement, eh? You'd have been a fair cop if the Ministry's health goons had seen them. I never charged you a knut for doing that.

Tom crossed his arms across his barrel chest.

"Strange that I never had a problem with vermin until you showed up, isn't it?"

Dung was about to claim his complete innocence when Remus sighed and fished another galleon from his pocket.

"Here you go, Tom. It's best to just get him his drink. If you don't he'll just sit here and pout all day. You wouldn't want to scare away the paying customers, right?"

Tom laughed as he handed Dung his pint and pocketed the offered galleon.

"Cheers, Remus. You're a gentleman and a scholar."

Dung took a long draught from his mug and sat down next to his new best friend.

"So, what's wrong, me lad? Some wench got you by the short and curlies?"

Remus felt his headache spreading throughout his brain. His monthly transformations seemed preferable to how he felt now.

"I'm fine, Dung, really. Thank you for your concern."

Dung laughed and slapped him hard on the back.

"Don't try to fool a fooler, guv. I may have never decided to set up housekeeping, but I've felt the bloom of romance in my time."

Remus couldn't help but smile at this. He could not recall a time previous that Dung had said a complete sentence without profanity.

Maybe he really can help.

Taking another long sip from his firewhiskey, Remus turned to look directly into the eyes of the shabby wizard next to him.

"Dung, have you ever had that one moment where you were truly happy? A moment where you knew exactly what you wanted, but also knew that you could never have it, even though you'd give anything to have it in your life? Have you ever lay awake at night and thought about them and wished they were there, lying next to you? Have you ever felt like that, Dung?"

A knowing look came upon Dung's face as he took another sip of his drink.

"Of course I have, guv. I have the same feelings as anyone else. In fact, I'm feeling that way myself at the moment.

Remus' eyebrows went nearly to his hairline.

"Really? I guess I'm not alone, then. What's been keeping you from your happiness?"

"Several things, really. Molly Bloody Weasley, for one. I can hardly sneak a fag without her complaining. The Potter lad wouldn't be best pleased, either. He doesn't have any real claim, but I reckon he'd still be looking to wring my neck. I'd probably get sacked from the Order, too."

Remus was, yet again, confused. What in the hell was Dung talking about? What would cause Molly and Harry to want him dead? What did Harry have no real claim to that someone might want? Suddenly, a terrible thought occurred to him. Who did Molly and Harry both love, in very different ways?

Ginny.

Remus could feel the bile rising to his throat at the very thought of it.

"Dung! How could you?"

The look on Dung's face turned fearful.

"Hey, I haven't touched them! I swear! Everyone one of the blasted things are still there, I promise!"

Remus went from enraged back to utterly confused.

"What the hell are you talking about, Dung?"

"All that blasted Goblin-wrought silverware, o' course! Just one of them spoons would keep me in liquor for a year! Why, what did you think I was talking about?"

It was at this time that Remus decided that he'd had enough.

"I'm getting out of here. Tom, here's the money for the drinks. Dung, I'll see you at the meeting."

Remus got up from his barstool and walked a bit unsteadily towards the bar's Floo, deciding that he should get something in his stomach to soak up some of the ample amount of firewhiskey in his system. Thinking of this, he focused on the one place he knew that always had a generous supply of comfort food on hand. Throwing the powder into the hearth, he made a mental note to ask for a hangover potion when he got to his destination...

"The Burrow!"

**********

"Ah, Remus, I didn't know you'd be here so early. Is something wrong?"

Remus grabbed another chicken leg from the platter in front of him and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Hello, Arthur. No, nothing's wrong. I've had a few too many and thought I'd better get something in my stomach before the meeting."

Now, when you had been married as long as Arthur Weasley had, you earned an honorary degree in relationships. After seven children, you qualified for a doctorate.

"Really? Any particular reason you wanted to get legless before tea time?"

Remus sighed.

Well, so much for all that Occlumency training. I seem to be an open book to everyone.

"You're as bad as Dung, Arthur."

The red-headed wizard laughed.

"Dung? What in Merlin's name have you been talking to that old sheep-worrier about?"

"It's a long story, old friend."

Arthur poured himself a mug of his beloved home brew and sat down across from his troubled comrade.

"Remus, I've been married to Molly for over twenty years. I am an expert at listening."

Remus couldn't help but chuckle. The man had a point.

"Well, it all started one night at Headquarters..."

Over the next half-hour, Remus told Arthur about his situation with Tonks, omitting the occasional sordid detail here and there. By the end of his explanation, both wizards had downed nearly an entire jug of Arthur's dandelion brandy. After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, Arthur looked pointedly at his friend.

"So, in essence, you've decided that you aren't worthy of Tonks. You feel she could do better, and that being with you will only cause her pain."

Remus sobered immediately. It wasn't so much due to the Hangover Helper potion he had just taken as it was to the fact that Arthur had summed up the entirety of what he was feeling. Truly, the man was a prophet.

"Yes! That is exactly how I feel! What can I do about it?"

Remus waited anxiously for the answer. If Arthur told him that the only way he could get through this was to give all his money to charity, he would be heading straight to Gringotts.

"It's called being in love, Remus. I'm afraid there isn't a blessed thing you can do about it.'

Remus' face fell.

"What? You're supposed to be helping me here, Arthur! You said it yourself; I'm not good enough for her! I can't do that to Tonks!"

The older wizard smiled.

"No, you said that you weren't good enough for her. I would have to agree, though. You aren't good enough for her, just like I'm not good enough for Molly."

Remus wasn't certain whether he had proven his point, or been insulted.

"Why would you think you aren't good enough for Molly? The two of you are like the gold standard for a relationship. You two were made for each other."

Arthur burst out laughing.

"Oh, it might seem that way now, but that wasn't always the case. You should just be glad that Tonks is an only child. How do you think Gideon and Fabian took to the idea of their only sister marrying a penniless wizard with all the prospects of a flobberworm? The Weasley name may be an old one, but it's also an impoverished one. The Prewett family was also an ancient line that had fallen on hard times. Molly marrying me would only bring more shame on the family, and essentially destroy any chance they might have of reclaiming prominence. Despite all of that, I could not help myself loving her, and I continue to love her as much today as I did the very first time I met her.

"So, being the noble idiot that I was, I resolved to hide my feelings. I, like you, decided that Molly deserved better than what I could provide her. She deserved someone that could keep her in the style she was accustomed to. I decided that all of this was for Molly's own good. I told her all of this, of course. I told her that, with the war starting up, there were more important matters to focus on. As succinctly as I could, I explained to her how all of this was for the best. However, despite all of this, she still found a way to change my mind."

Remus' eyebrows furrowed.

"What did she do?"

"She broke my nose."

Arthur then pointed to the slight lump on the bridge of his nose. Remus couldn't help but wince at the thought of being on the receiving end of Molly's ire.

"Molly always was persuasive. No wonder Sirius always knew when to back down. Look, Arthur, I understand what you're trying to say, and I appreciate it, but I can't do it. I wish the only thing keeping us apart was money, but it's much more than that. Much more."

Remus stood from the kitchen table and stretched. The Order meeting would be starting soon, and he could hear members arriving at the front door.

"Well, thank you for listening, Arthur, you have always been a good friend to me."

Shaking the other man's hand, Remus walked up the stairs and to the Burrow's loo to wash up. Once gone, Arthur shook his head and sighed.

"Poor, Remus. I hope Molly doesn't find out about this. She wouldn't be able to rest if she thought she could get those two together."

**********

"I hereby call this meeting of the Order of the Phoenix to order. Before I receive your individual reports, I want to tell you all about a very important mission I have for one of you. The plan I have will involve infiltrating one of Voldemort's most dangerous groups of allies in order to gather information on his possible activities. For this mission, I require someone with prior experience with the group, and someone that I know will risk their life in service against the rising darkness."

As soon as the words had escaped Dumbledore's mouth, Mad-Eye Moody rose from his chair.

"Count me in, Albus. There isn't a witch or wizard in all of England that's more experienced in battling the Death Eaters and their kind. Just tell me the when and the where, and I'll be there."

Nearly all of the other Order members looked relieved by this. All of them had proven themselves in battle, but if Dumbledore said something was dangerous, it must be something horrible. Looking up at their leader, they saw the elderly wizard shaking his head.

"I appreciate your offer, Alastor, but this is something that only one of us can hope to succeed in. That is why I have already discussed this with Remus Lupin."

All eyes immediately shifted to Remus. The only pair he cared about belonged to Tonks. She had been ignoring him all meeting, looking away from him anytime he tried to initiate eye contact with her. He had hoped to talk to her about what he was about to do, but he hadn't known what to say. Now that he had her undivided attention, he found that his own gaze could not quite meet her own.

"Remus has agreed to go undercover and gather information for us at one of the largest werewolf colonies that is believed to be siding with Voldemort. Remus will also be attempting to convince any of them that will listen to him to defect from the group. It is feared that most will be beyond coercion, but we are hopeful that some may still be persuaded."

Remus could feel Tonks' eyes upon him. He knew that, if he should look at her now, all of his resolve would vanish. Knowing this, he kept his attention focused on Dumbledore.

Little did he know that she would not be staring at him for much longer.

"Remus is well aware of what could happen if his true purpose for being there is discovered. He is also aware that, if he were to be recognized, his life would be in grave danger. This threat is made all the more real due to the leader of the colony that he will be entering. All of you know of this man because of his barbaric acts and insatiable bloodlust. The leader of the colony Remus will be infiltrating is none other than Fenrir Greyback."

Remus heard the sharp intakes of breath before the sound of someone running from the room overwhelmed them. Turning his head towards the sound of someone sobbing, he was met with a sight that caused his heart to ache in his chest. Turning to look at the doorway, he could just make out a pair of faux leopard shoes disappearing from sight. The rest of the world ceased to exist in that very moment.

Tonks was gone.