No Ordinary Love

No Ordinary Love

By Time and Tide

Chapter Five: No, Surrender

Remus Lupin was as nervous as he had ever been in his life. Being a werewolf, that was saying something.

Dementors, he could handle. Boggarts, a mere walk in the park. Unforgivable curses, a minor inconvenience. He'd had training for all those things. No, this was a much more unfamiliar menace. The scourge of pre-date jitters was ravaging his nerves like a harpie on a ham hock.

The first symptom had been the inability to focus. When he had dressed that morning he had put on freshly pressed black woolen trousers and a brand new jumper. Looking in his bedroom mirror, he decided it would do and began to walk away.

"Ahem."

Remus spun around with his wand drawn.

"Relax, it's just me. Got plans?"

Remus put down his wand and took a deep steadying breath.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have plans. I have a date coming over later."

The long mirror made a noise of acknowledgement before clearing its non-existent throat again. Remus had already grown tired of getting the third degree from a plate of glass.

"What is it now?"

"Are you sure about those pants?"

"Why, what's wrong with them?"

"Oh, nothing, they look quite dapper with those brown shoes."

Remus looked down and sighed.

"Damn, I didn't even notice. I tore up my black shoes during my last change. What should I do now?"

"I'd go with the navy blue linen. Not quite black, and much lighter weight. Heavy wool might chafe, if you know what I mean...eh... know what I mean?"

Rolling his eyes, Remus changed clothes and closed the bedroom door behind him. He'd have to remember to remove Sirius' old mirror from his room before any future dates.

Thinking of future dates brought on symptom two: forgetfulness.

Arriving in the kitchen, Remus went into the pantry to retrieve the items he would need to make dinner. As he reached for a second clove of garlic it hit him; he'd completely forgotten how to cook.

Bollocks.

All of it was gone. How do you make pasta? What kind of wine went with Italian food? How could you possibly know if all those olives were virgins? Were there olive slags running about?

Yes, that is what I need to be focusing on right now. Never mind the fact that I have a date coming over in a few hours, I'm wondering about the sex life of party food. Calm down, Lupin, you've done this before. Not in a very long time, but I've done it. Maybe a little drink will help.

Two hours and a bottle of wine later, Remus was much more relaxed. Checking his various lists again, he decided that everything was going according to plan. As a safety measure, he had contacted various people who knew Tonks well. According to their suggestions, Remus had adjusted his original menu plan.

Andromeda had told Remus that her daughter liked a creamy dressing on her Caesar salad, but that she detested anchovies. Kingsley had informed him that Tonks always opted for the minestrone whenever the Ministry cafeteria offered it, but always complained that it was too bland for her taste. Albus had told him that, while attending Hogwarts, Tonks seemed to favor pasta for dinner. Remus had made a note about all of these things in anticipation for their first "official" date.

So, after saving the already purchased anchovies for Crookshanks, adding chili sauce to the simmering soup, and making sure the fettuccini was al dente, Remus turned his attention to setting the table. Candles were quickly lit and fresh flowers were arranged as the minutes continued to tick by. Never being much of a baker, despite being a capable potion brewer, he left the idea for a possible dessert until the last minute and finally decided to keep things simple. Melting some caramels in a copper pot, he decided they could dip something in it if the mood struck them. He was just entertaining the thoughts of drizzling caramel over things other than food when there was a knock upon the front door.

Damn! Why did I have to start having these thoughts right before the very person I'm thinking about shows up? I guess I'll be keeping my napkin on my lap tonight.

Immediately upon opening the front door, Remus' anxiety began to ebb. Tonks, looking positively radiant, also appeared to be nervous. He wasn't the only one in unfamiliar territory, as it were.

"Hello," Tonks said flashing a genuine smile.

For an indeterminate amount of time, Remus was stunned. His nervousness was gone, for the moment, but it was now replaced by anticipation. Tonks was a beautiful woman. Remus was a lonely man. Grimmauld Place was empty. Remus was just at the point of mentally discerning the shortest route to the nearest bedroom when he noticed a nearly imperceptible shiver come over his vision of loveliness.

Let her in, you sex-starved git!

Mumbling some lame apology, Remus let Tonks inside. Before he could slip back into his lust-induced catatonic state, a brown paper bag was thrust into his chest. Even through the wrapping, he could tell the contents were some kind of dessert. That was a relief; since he wasn't entirely sure his caramel dipping sauce would work out. Werewolves were not largely regarded for their puddings.

Learning that the parcel contained a remarkably heavy cheesecake, Remus looked up to see Tonks descending the stairs to the kitchen. He had never really considered walking down stairs sensual before, but he would from now on.

God in heaven! Those damn Auror robes have been concealing those lovely hips all this time, not to mention that arse. You could bounce a galleon of that thing. I'll have to thank Moody for implementing that fitness regiment. I envy her broom.

Realizing he had been staring, Remus quickly attempted to save face by divulging the night's menu. He never let on that he'd had insider information on her favorite foods and was properly smug when he saw Tonks' face light up.

Score one for the old dog.

**********

Remus was feeling quite happy with himself. Not only was the meal he had prepared edible, but also it was pretty damn tasty. As a life long bachelor, a tin of baked beans on toast had sustained him many a lonely night. However, when he got a chance to do it, he did enjoy utilizing his mother's old recipes. And, even better than his own enjoyment, was the obvious appreciation of his dinner companion. From her thirds on the chicken and her accelerated heart rate Remus was fairly sure she was enjoying herself. He wondered if she would have any room left at all for afters.

"Remus, I don't think I'll be able to move from here."

The blissful satisfaction expressed upon her face made Tonks look even more seductive. Remus was tempted to throw her down on the table and ravage her there and then, but he decided that it would be good manners to at least clear the table first.

"But, you cooked everything--!"

Rarely had any of Remus' dates offered to help with cleaning up. It wasn't that they were inconsiderate; it was mostly due to the fact that they'd never cleaned up anything before. That was what magic was for. Why get your own hands dirty when a few flicks of the wrist did things just as well? Tonks was different. She wasn't adverse to mucking in and helping out. Her Muggle father had instilled his work ethic into his daughter. Her mother had passed on her natural beauty. Remus was very grateful to them both.

"Fine, I'll be up in the drawing room. By the way, and just so you know, if you're ever going to kiss me, it better be tonight."

Remus nearly dropped his stack of plates.

Well, so much for the idea of keeping things platonic, then.

**********

Walking up the stairs to rejoin Tonks, Remus wondered when the last time his hands had sweat so much. He'd faced Dementors by the score, but even then he'd kept some level of calm. The truth of the matter was that his current state of anxiety was very different than what he was used to. With a Dementor, you took your wand out and hoped they went away. With Tonks, he was hoping to pull out something else and hoped she stayed.

Walking into the drawing room, Remus was pleased to see that Tonks had made herself at home. Watching her wiggle her cute little toes in front of the lit fireplace caused him to lose his feelings of intimidation.

How could anyone with nails painted shocking pink be threatening?

"Comfortable?"

It was a fairly lame way to break the ice, but it was the best Remus could currently come up with. Most of his thought processes were tied up at the moment with appreciating his date's cleavage. They weren't overly large, but she was far from boyish in shape. Knowing that Tonks could change herself into any size she wanted, he wondered if she was in her natural state now. Realizing he may have been focusing on her bosom too much, he raised his eyes to meet her face... only to find that her own gaze failed to extend above his waist. He was glad now for his own fitness regiment.

"I'd be more comfortable if you were sitting here with me."

She didn't have to tell Remus that twice. Noticing the same hungry look in her eyes that he knew were in his, he sat down next to her and placed his arm behind her head on the sofa. Looking at her long slender neck, he could see the fine hairs there standing up. He appreciated seeing it happen to someone that wouldn't be a werewolf in a few minutes. He also wondered what it would be like to trail feathery kisses down that same neck on his way to that lovely light bum Tonks was currently sitting on.

After engaging in some more playful flirting, Remus couldn't help himself anymore. His fingers found their way to her neck and began to caress her soft skin. The time for flirtation was over. The mere contact of flesh upon flesh caused Remus' formerly perfectly fitting trousers to seem impossibly small. This time, unlike before, he had no intention of concealing this fact from the beautiful woman next to him.

Neither would be sure who initiated that first kiss, but Remus liked to think it was himself. Kissing her was perfection. Nothing else existed or mattered. The only regret that lingered in his mind now was why they hadn't done this much sooner. He could feel Tonks' body pressing against his. He could feel her own excitement pressing against his chest and knew that she could feel his against her leg. He needed to feel more of her, and he needed it now.

Keeping one hand behind her head, Remus gently positioned himself over top of her. As one hand kept Tonks' head steady enough to continue kissing her, Remus' other hand busied itself with removing the obstacle of clothes. Fortunately, and not at all coincidentally, Remus was able to get to Tonks' tights off very quickly. After tossing them over his shoulder, he heard Tonks mumble something coherent amidst her moaning.

"I'm glad I'm wearing my good knickers."

Remus laughed.

"I'm glad you're wearing your good knickers, too, Tonks."

Good knickers?

Remus thought that was debatable. He would have much preferred it is she had simply gone commando. Not only would it have been deliciously sexy, it would have also eliminated one more step in the process of getting her naked. Sure, a vanishing charm would have done the deed in an instant, but some things were better done by hand. Remus was hopeful that it would be the only thing he'd need to do by hand that evening.

By now, Tonks was a very willing participant in the race to nakedness. While Remus kissed her Cupid's bow lips, she was making short work of the belt of his trousers. Feeling the leather slide between her fingers gave her other ideas for its possible use, but she decided that the employment of constraints might be too much for a first date. She did make a mental note to bring it up in the future, though.

Then, just as Tonks had discovered that Remus was a boxers man, his lips were suddenly gone from her own.

"What is it, Remus?"

"Do you smell that?"

"I thought you'd done this before."

It took a minute for Remus to figure out what Tonks had meant.

Done what before?

Oh, yeah, that.

She thought he was referring to her scent.

That wasn't it. Hell, he'd noticed that as soon as he came upstairs. No, this smell was entirely different. Remus had an idea what it was, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem was that he shouldn't smell it at all.

Creak

Creak

Remus reverted to battle mode the instant he had heard the first creak. Tonks hadn't heard that one, but she did catch the second one, barely. Having a slight advantage, he had rushed from the room in hopes of putting a stop to any potential situation before Tonks could join him. In action it seemed decidedly chauvinistic. In reality he was merely acting as a protector. Remus would have done the same thing towards anyone, regardless of gender.

"Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!"

As he got closer to the intruder, Remus was able to discern another scent. The one invading his nose now was unquestioningly Severus Snape. The stronger smells of potion ingredients had overpowered all others at a distance, but close up it became apparent. To Remus, Snape always smelled of mildew and burnt wood. Since Snape spent the bulk of his time in a dank and torch-lit dungeon, it was little wonder. He had actually discerned it was his fellow Order member before he had cast the Expelliarmus spell, but he had done so anyway out of anger.

"What do you want, Snape?"

Before the sallow faced professor could answer, Tonks made her presence known. Remus saw Snape's reaction and cringed.

Why couldn't she have just stayed upstairs like I told her?

While Remus thought this, Tonks suddenly moved in to confront their unwelcome visitor. Being practically naked from the waist down, Snape got a very good look at Tonks' toned thighs. Seeing how much he was enjoying the view caused Remus to shield her from his perverted leering. He was about to demand Snape he on his way when he heard the greasy haired git give voice to one of his deepest insecurities.

"I thought you could do better, Tonks."

Tonks reacted predictably by retaliating against Snape in their verbal battle. Unfortunately, Lupin also acted as one might suspect. Having already believed that he was unworthy of the younger woman's affections, hearing Snape say it out loud seemed to make it fact.

"You've got to be desperate to be with a man 13 years your senior, I'd say. He's pretty dangerous, too, a werewolf."

Remus' anger at Snape now turned back towards himself. Tonks was obviously making a huge mistake. He was far too old for her. The other members of the Order would feel the same way if their relationship became known. This would harm Tonks' position in the group, and also her personal reputation. Everyone who resented her for being a full-fledged Auror at such a young age would now add this to their list of objections towards her. And, yes, he was a werewolf. If he ever harmed her in any way he would never be able to live with himself. He needed to end this situation immediately.

"You're not welcome here."

Fortunately, Snape did leave; taking with him any confidence Remus might have built up for himself.

Remus could hear and feel Tonks trying to bring him back, but he was already gone. The Remus Lupin of five minutes ago no longer existed. His attention was only regained when he heard her calling him something he hadn't been called since he was in school.

"Prick?! I'm trying to do the right thing!"

Remus was desperate for her to understand. He didn't have any money! If it hadn't been for Sirius, he wouldn't even have a place to stay. On top of that, what decent woman would want a werewolf for a lover? The idea of a shag with a physically enhanced man was one thing, but would it be worth the risk? No, he couldn't do that to Tonks. He wanted her badly, very badly, but it wasn't about what he wanted to do. No, this was about what he needed to do.

In his weakened state, Remus let slip his nickname for her. He had thought of her as his "Angel" for several months now. He was convinced that she could save him, but now he realized that he would only end up destroying her in the process. He wanted to end things on a positive note, but that broom had already flown. Tonks was angry and hurt, and it was all his fault.

Hearing Tonks slam the door on her way out, Remus barely registered the accompanying screeches from Mrs. Black. Nothing mattered anymore. Kreacher could have brought Voldemort up from the basement and it wouldn't have affected him in the slightest. He had messed up, and messed up badly. Tonks would never forgive him, and he knew he deserved her anger. He should have never allowed himself to think that he might have had any chance at happiness. All those years of exile from normal society should have taught him that.

Walking back upstairs, Remus noticed that he could still smell Tonks' scent everywhere. Despite her leaving the way she did, the smell of her previous arousal did nothing to ease his own. He had been so close, and his body didn't seem to want to surrender just yet. Unfortunately, the battle had already been waged, and he had lost.

Still in a daze, Remus began to clean up the drawing room. A few wand flicks would have done the job, but he wanted something to focus on instead of his own despair. The cushions from the couch had somehow ended up on the floor, along with all of the pillows. He looked around to make sure she had found her knickers and instead found her shoes not far from his own. The sight reminded him of the look in Tonks' eyes when he had caught her watching him. She looked hungry, even though they had just got done eating. He had been hungry, too. Both of them had yearned for the other, and yet neither of them was able to satisfy their needs.

Sitting down heavily on the now restored couch, Remus was about to summon a bottle of brandy from the cellar when the fire still blazing in the hearth turned green.

"Ah, Remus, you're still awake. I need to talk with you about a very important mission that... what's wrong?"

Remus had not looked up to meet Albus' gaze once while he had been spoken to. Knowing the kind of man he was, Albus knew that something wasn't right. Remus quickly wiped at his eyes once before raising his head.

"Nothing, nothing at all. What can I do for you, Headmaster?"

The elder wizard didn't need to be a master in the art of mind reading to know that something was wrong with Remus, but he also knew that there were important matters that needed to be discussed.

"Remus, I have a task that I need your help on. Voldemort will almost certainly be recruiting various magical creatures to aid him in this war. I fear it is inevitable that one such group he will target is werewolves, especially with Fenrir Greyback in his service. My idea is for you to infiltrate one of the colonies and report back your findings. I would greatly hope that they would stay neutral, but that is highly unlikely. I know that doing this would require you to put your life in grave danger, but you are the only one who can accomplish this. Would you be willing to discuss this idea in greater detail with me at the next Order meeting?"

Remus needed only a moment to consider the offer. He would have accepted the mission willingly, no matter what the danger. Now, with what had just happened with Tonks, the idea of getting away from everything seemed well worth the risk.

Anything would be better than dealing with what I'm feeling now, wouldn't it?

Little did Remus know at the time just how much worse things could, and would, get.